At War With The World

[Joe Everyman]

Never had no need
For any military aid
And I never took charge of the light brigade
I got no castle to defend or attack
But still I seem to be picking up flak

Mike Laszlo is mad jelly.

He doesn't have enough toast for all of his jelly.

And he must be down to just peanut butter because he's is super nutty.

Mike, I don't get you. I know that you lost and all that, and I know you're super upset about... well, everything, but why does your jealousy have to rear it's ugly head like this? I mean, we all get it. You're trying to be a tough guy, you're the bad boy of this match, but come on. Get a hold of yourself, check your ego at the door and look here.

I don't care if you respect me or not. I don't even care if you believe in me or not. Do you know why? Because so many others haven't believe in me, and they got the full brunt of my arsenal right into their face. Is that going to happen to you this Monday night? Most likely, yes. Just like it's happened to countless others over the years. And just like what happened to Cable Arcane and Lex Sense as well.

Now... wait a second. Weren't you in that tournament too? That's weird... I guess I can't remember you being there all that well. I feel like this is a problem with a lot of the guys and gals that watched that tournament. Arcane lost to the eventual champion. Lex lost to the eventual champion. You were just kind of... a place holder.

That match would have gone on and been the same result if you would have been there or not. You were the forgotten fourth member of the matches, which seems to be the norm with you. You tend to be good in the ring, and you tend to be good on the stick, but when it comes to the actual matches, the actual results, the ones that people remember... you fail. And with that, you are easily forgotten like you were never there. Jesus, it feels like I'm talking to myself from a month ago. Is that what you want, Laszlo? Do you want to become my former self?

Because you're already on that path way. You're far ahead of the pack on that one too. Some people evolve and some people stay put for their whole career. I finally proved to everybody that I evolved and moved on. And here you stand, not taking a single step in the right direction. Maybe the map is upside down, maybe you're just lost in your own thoughts, I don't know. The only truth is that you are going nowhere awfully fast. Everybody can see it, and I know that you're starting to see it too.

You can flaunt your confidence all day, but we can see through the facade. I know Xavier can see it, and I know I can see it. And I think you should listen to our talking points, seeing as we have the gold to back up the things we say. You do not have what it takes to cut it in this match against us. Xavier and I can trust each other, we've got each other's backs. You can't trust Doc as far as you can throw him, which isn't very far. It's going to be you against the world, and for you, the world is looking bleak.

I know, because I've been there. I had to spend some long nights reflecting on myself before I was able to move up, and Laszlo, you're going to have to do the same. We can all agree that we want you to succeed, but that's never going to happen if you're always a dick about everything. Check your ego and then come back to us. You're talented, but you're weak minded. That will cost you more than anything else... trust me.

And Doc... where the hell did you come from? You seem to go in and out of nearly every single company I've ever been in. Everywhere I've been, you've been there too. And now, here in IWF, nothing has changed. I remember so long ago in another company we both worked for, you were walking around as their World Champion. And I worked my ass off, and I finally won a shot against your gold. I was so happy about it... and when I finally fought against you, I lost. Badly. It really showed me a thing or two about myself. I haven't learned anything for nothing in my journeys, and that one showed me a lot. And now, here we are again, locking up against each other.

It's almost like we've come full circle. And now, this Monday evening, I get a chance to show you just how far I've come. You're one of those guys that I've wanted to prove my worth to for a long time, and when the time comes, I will prove it and so much more. I am the Imperial Champion, and don't you forget it.

And that being said... despite being the champ, despite being THE top guy in the WHOLE company, I'm STILL looked upon as the underdog. Isn't that just crazy? And now... I have to go up against two titans. Xander showed how he always is last week, and Lex showed his truth colors. You will don't scare me. You may be bigger, you may be better, but in the end, none of that will matter, because you lack when it truly counts... you lack heart.

Spike, Rob, thank you for the save attempt last week. It really showed me and the whole world who you truly are inside. I'll be sure to repay this favor to the both of you in due time. But in the mean time, Xavier, I hope you're ready. We have to go out there and prove to the WORLD why we are the champions, and why Mike and Doc aren't. I trust you, and I know we can get the job done. Doc, best of luck to you. Mike, choke on a dick. I know that may seem rude and out of character for me... but, please do.

The scene slowly opens up inside of the Joe Everyman household, more specifically in Aurora's room. The baby's cribs are set up in the corner as Aurora is fast asleep in her bed. Joe is standing over the cribs, placing a blanket very carefully into one of them. He gets it into place and looks down at his work and smiles. He looks over at Aurora and then down again at the twins.

Joe Everyman: Night, guys. Love you.

Joe turns around and walks out of the room and into the hallway. He hears something musical coming from his the bedroom as he walks down. He notices a red light shining on the floor coming from the room. He opens the door slowly and sees Melanie laying seductively on the bed, wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

Melanie Brooks: Hey, baby.

Joe smiles and laughs a little bit to himself as he hears "Feel Like Makin' Love" playing from the stereo and some red filter paper hanging over the lamp.

Joe Everyman: Hey yourself... you seem... warm.

Joe can't keep a straight face as he finishes. Melanie smiles and nods her head a little while closing her eyes.

Melanie Brooks: Yeah yeah, I know. I'm kind of out of shape from having the kids, and the sweats were the most comfortable stuff I had. But... offer still stands. I mean, I don't know how long it's been, b-

Joe Everyman: One hundred and seventy four days, three hours, fifty two minutes and some change... but, who's counting?

Melanie giggles a little as Joe walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge with a leg up, looking down at Melanie.

Joe Everyman: You sure you're gonna be ok with this? I mean... you did just have the kids.

Melanie Brooks: I know, but... I know you need it more than I do. I know how stressed you have been lately, and I know you're trying to curve your drinking down for me, so I need to reward you in some way. Plus... I need it pretty badly too. Also, it's been a hundred and eighty-one days, you're math was a little off.

Joe brings up his hand and stands counting on it, causing Melanie to smile again. She grabs Joe's hand and caresses it a little.

Melanie Brooks: I'm more than ok with this, trust me.

Joe Everyman: Ok, great. Let me just go get ready... it's been a while.

Melanie Brooks: Take your time, love.

Melanie smiles again as she sits up on the bed. Joe walks out of the room and into the hallway, turning into the bathroom. He flips on the light and looks down at the counter. A glass of scotch he had earlier in the night sits there by itself, water sweating on the side from the humid night. Joe looks at it hesitantly for a moment before looking up into the mirror. He looks at himself for a moment, getting a gauge of himself. His vision slowly pans back down to the glass.

Joe Everyman: No... I don't need you tonight.

Joe looks confident in himself as he turns around and walks out of the bathroom. He flips off the light and walks out of the camera's view as the sound of the bedroom door can be heard closing. The scene then slowly fades to black.

I am the captain of this body of mine
I'll send fear into the enemy lines
On the ground, in the air or at sea
They're all pointing a finger at me