A Brief Hiatus

[Isabella Maldini]

You know what sucks big guy?

What’s that little sparrow?

That thanks to my frankly civic duty in pointing out to Mr de Montfort that his son would be a terrible representative for this company, I was suspended with pay right in the middle of our story.

Disgraceful.

I know, right? Sheesh, you try to do the right thing around here and keep sociopaths away from the most prestigious title in the company, which makes them a figurehead for all the guys in the back, and you get punished for “interfering beyond your station.

What a rip.

Don’t worry though folks, after a brief, forced hiatus, I’m back and I have every attention of getting right back to where I was and moving forward with my career. Nobody likes a girl who just sits around feeling sorry for herself, it’s a major turn off.

So what’s next?

Glad you asked big guy. The girls and boys at home were deprived of our story for a whole month all because of the oppressive actions of the boardroom and we can’t keep them waiting for much longer now can we? That’d be very cruel and you can only tease them for so long before they lose interest.

So, where were we?

Naples.

Oh yes, my valiant yet unexpected hero had just rescued me from the evil grasp of the mafia who, in their wisdom, had decided that losing both my parents wasn’t enough of a punishment and I needed to eat lead for a second time, only a little more permanently. I guess it is an irony that the guy who put the last bullet in me was the one who prevent the second finding it’s mark in aftermath, but who was I to complain.

I mean, he did apologise. Didn’t you big guy?

I am eternally sorry…

Ok, don’t put a downer on the whole evening, I only just came back big fella.

Anyway, we went on the run, like Léon and Mathilda from the Professional, only minus the pot plant. Some people would crumble in such a situation, but what can I say, adrenaline is a pretty powerful drug and knowing there was a price on my head made me more resourceful and resilient.

When most girls were playing with their mother’s make up, I was learning how to hustle guys at pool. Hey, don’t look at me like that, it was a living. Besides, guys were pretty damn eager to put down ridiculous sums of money to play with a little girl, after all, who couldn’t beat little old me?

Turns out not many folk, of course, some of them would refuse to pay up…

That’s where I came in.

See, you have your uses big guy. He’s always had my back, it’s quite adorable really, my new daddy was pretty great at snapping arms which kept food on the table and meant we could move around from city to city without ever really being broke.

Except Prague.

Don’t remind me, I had to do some things I am really not proud of to get us out of that one. Busking is for lowlifes people, not “aspiring artists”.

People are suckers for little girls singing pop songs.

Well, Britney had to make a career somehow, right? Anyway, life was risky, but it sure as hell was fun. So many people ask if I missed my mother and father and the truth is, as time went by, I realised that wherever they were, they would be happier that I was safe with this big lummox than whoring myself out on the streets of Naples to work off my debt to the Camorra.

That came later.

Oh, very funny, way to ruin the story big guys, you skipped a whole chapter and went straight to my later teen years.

Sorry.

You ought to be, and it wasn’t whoring. Besides, we wouldn’t have gotten into that situation if it wasn’t for you, so lay off the sass.

It won’t happen again.

Anyways, would you look at the time, I think that’s all folks for this week. I’d best put on my Sunday best and crawl in front of a camera for my opponents amusement. It’s a hard life boys and girls, but it’s all worth it when I get to wrap my legs around Ayla St. James and co’s heads.

You’ve gotta enjoy the little things.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Well, well, well, lookie here, me and Eternity get to play cameos for the Ruby tussle.

I don’t know whether to be flattered or offended. The bookers seem to want me and E to do Amber’s dirty work for her, and what do we get in return? No, really. Is this just about making sure the champion looks good going into her big whips and chains match at the pay per view?

Or is there something in this for me?

One thing you’re all going to quickly realise is that I am in business for myself and on myself, I really couldn’t care if poor little Amber gets his booty kicked by any of the Three Muskateers this week or next, the fact is that if fighting alongside her isn’t to my benefit, I don’t plan on breaking a sweat.

Oh, what’s that, not the right attitude?

Let’s just say that I couldn’t care any less about trying to impress a booking committee who facilitated my recent temporary departure from active duty. I have different methods to gain their approval and it sure as hell doesn’t entail get my head kicked in for Amber’s benefit.

So, I ask again, what’s in this for me?

As much as I enjoy hanging with Eternity and seeing what hijinks she’ll get up to next if this little shindig isn’t of benefit to me, well, my and my “partner” will be high tailing it out here faster than Xander will be laying out little Joe Everyman this week. Which reminds me…

If you and Jenny are going through the motions big guy, you know where to find me…

Ayla, Ayla… your name seems familiar, oh yes, you’re the girl who left me laying the last time we wrestled.

Well I guess I should probably tuck my lil tail between my legs, whimper and shoo on out of here now that the big dog has entered her yard… or perhaps I’ll just snap back to realiy and realise it was a one off match with no bearing on this week.

Ooopsie, that was being a tad arrogant, wasn’t it Ayla?

My bad, I know how that just rattle your cage.

But then, that’s the thing with ego, isn’t it? When the good guy self-promotes he’s just brimming with confidence and proud of his abilities, but when the villain does the very same thing? Oh no, no, no, they’re just an arrogant, self-absorbed sycophant.

To me, ego is ego. If you don’t believe in yourself, then who the hell else will? It will be spun positively or negatively depending on whether you’re well liked or well loathed, but at the end of the day, at it’s very core, it is no different from one person to the next.

Perhaps my ego does get a little out of control in your view, Ayla, but I’d sooner believe in my ability to make you tap out then run around terrified of the big bad wolf every single week.

I’ll leave that to weaker women.

Which brings me to you, Tara. Oh, snap!

Things just haven’t been going your way, have they dollface? You and your hubby just don’t seem to be getting along very well thanks to that dastardly Doc and the nefarious Amber, kudos by the way Richards. No, life seems to have crumbled a little for the golden girl of late, first you lost your belt, then you lost your man.

That’s some pretty bad “womaning” Tara.

Here’s a little tip for you though, I am well aware that my games won’t work on girls, seems that they’re more capable of thinking with their heads and not their genitals, who knew huh? Teasing is only pleasing when I want something from a guy, when it comes to getting what I want from a woman, like you, well I use something a little less subtle.

The heel of my shoe.

It’s cute that you can identify with me and hey, maybe you need to touch up on those seductive skills to get your man back, but this week we’re going to have very little in common, you see, I am going to be a winner and you.

Well, you get the picture.

Look, I get it, you’re on a crusade to get that pretty little belt back around you waist, your husband in your bed and whatever else you’ve set your starry little eyes on this week, but let’s be clear, if it comes to it, neither myself, or Eternity, will have any qualms with leaving you laying. That’s just how we operate.

Bring whatever you want this week, we’ll see if its enough.

Ah, Ashley, I knew this day would come eventually, the two Italian’s going womano ay womano on live television, I mean I am pretty surprised they’ve not cashed in on this yet already. Now, I’d be lying if I said I’ve been looking forward to this but what the heck, it’ll be good to get up close and personal with a fellow patriot.

Well, ever since old Bertie kicked me to the curb and all.

Now, I realise that your attentions may be affixed on Eternity this week, I mean after all she did beat you senseless when you tried to get out of dodge whilst Kathy got hers and quite honestly, I’d love to see you try to get a level of vengeance.

If only to see you get beaten to a bloody pulp in the process.

Let’s face it, you’re running on pure adrenaline right now. You’ve got a little bit of a high because you’ve stopped laying on your back every Monday and it’s given you the confidence to puff out that little chest of yours, perhaps you’ve even managed to convince yourself that on Sunday you’re going to snatch that Ruby Championship out of Amber’s grasp and hey, maybe you will, just remember.

You need to make it to that match first. Push Eternity’s wrong buttons and you may find yourself watching from the comfort of the hospital. Push mine and I’ll be a little gentler.

Last week you made a big case of demanding respect from Kathleen and you almost managed to beat it out of her and hey maybe you’re not a one hit wonder, but no matter how quickly you may think you’re learning, you’ve got a long way to go before you really understand how this business operates. Sure, you’ve been on the proverbial bottom when you went weeks without a victory, but there’s so much more this business can and will do to you.

Perhaps you’re prepared for that, perhaps you’re not, but some of us have experienced the politics, the backstabbing and the real adversity already in the bush leagues where we had to fight for every little scrap thrown our way. I have no doubt that you’ll face all of that here, what with the calibre of girls on the roster and the mark of the woman will be how you respond to that.

Will Ashley Mastrangelo really pull through the mud to wallow in the soothing light of glory.

Time will tell.