Post by Trent Helms on Sept 8, 2013 0:49:21 GMT
Character Key-Thingy
Trent narrative Morgan Freeman Voice
The most awesome person ever who is named Trent Helms
Ashlie, The keeper of the jar, which contains my testicles
Tit-A Saurus Rex (Mercedes Lewis)
Before we get to this Bushido-San, I must first address an issue.
An issue that will soon bring itself to our doorstep.
It’s true that the Hierarchy is here, and they are more dangerous than ever running software version 8.2
I’ve been vocal about it, I’ve been addressing it, and many have simply turned a deaf-ear to what I have to say. I can’t say I blame them. After all this is coming from a man who once claimed to be from another form of existence, and not only claims to process the Power of a Super Saiyan-Jin, but can go two levels beyond that.
As our champion, I am pledging my support to help you, when they decide to strike our division. I know it is coming as Famularo and Sense have made it clear, they are not happy with the champions in any division.
Even the Cruiserweight Division.
I can’t see why, I mean after all. Our division has been the shining achievement of IWF so far. Out of all the champions, you’re the only man who hasn’t completely been an asshole. I love Spike and Rob, but they both know, that like me, Are indeed Assholes. We haven’t been crying out loud like someone claiming, that the staff is out to get them, nor have we engaged in gang warfare to get our ways.
There is a traitor among us, one who will sell out our entire division, and join the cause of Xander and Lex. I haven’t quite figured it out, but whoever it is, is keeping them quiet.
I feel they will emerge after we engage in what will be a epic contest, or after I’m blindsided by the Category 2 Kaiju known as Death train, and left defenseless.
If someone was to strike us, this week would be the perfect time.
Why now? If you was going to plan a attack, You would want to do it, when the two biggest threats to stop it, The Fighting Champion. And the Protector of the entire division is engaging in Mortal Kombat with nothing on the line?
It smells like a trap.
Feels like a Trap.
Maybe I’m wrong, so I’m going to phone a friend, He always seems to know when things are going down.
So maybe my good friends at AT&T can connect me to my good friend Ackbar.
Ackbar, this is me Trent, I’m facing Bushido this week, any ideas on what will happen?
IT”S A TRAP!
So I’m saying this Bushido, before I break into character, and throw so many explosions at you, that when it’s done, you’re going to feel like the girl in the middle of 19 guys in a Bukkake Film. We should stand together when the time comes. You were there in NCW when Xander made his move for power before, You were there when they took ahold of the company, and Xander daddy was given your titles, Do you really want another repeat of the last year of NCW, The year that basically killed the greatest promotion to ever live. The promotion that took you out of wrestling in front of 150 people, and put you in front of tens of thousands of people, do you want to see IWF turn into what NCW did when Xander became obsessed with the backstage clout?
So I am giving you my hand Bushido. Do you want to stand side by side with a Super Saiyan and defend this very division? You can take it and we are a unit, can fight back against the machine, Fight back against the Heavyweight who believe it’s their god given right to push us around. Or you can stab me with your sword, kneel me down, Pull that cool shit that the Black guy in Serenity did and make me fall on the sword, like I’ve done many times.
Choose wisely Bushido, I’ve fallen on that sword before, I’ve survived cancer, a stroke and the horrors that was Vertigo Dirt murder’s wedding. I will survive again; you’re more than willing to try your hand at it. But if my stroke and my return to the ring have proven anything.
It’s that my Zenkai Power is still in full force.
I would translate that for you, But considering, you come from the country, where most of my pop culture references come from, I guess you save me the trouble.
None of this would of never happened. If I wasn’t like my father James T. Kirk. Who was far too busy, being William Shatner, instead of being a father?
I missed nearly my son’s entire season of superior football. I remember what I consider my proudest day when I was seventeen.
The scene opens as we see a brown hair kid, his face looks familiar. Until you come closer and see Trent Helms, but a much younger version with long brown hair. He is listening to a portable CD player…Remember those?
Sitting next to him, is a very petite teenage girl, she has faded pink hair, hidden behind a blue bandana. She is wearing a Motor head Tank top, which looks like; it should be worn by someone who has much bigger breasts then what she has.
The telephone ring, not a cell phone, but a good old fashion House Phone, with the cord and everything.
Turn on the TV Kid, the voice says.
Trent turns on the Television, switching off from MTV, which is playing Slipknot’s Wait and Bleed Music Video. You’re watching this, and some of you, must be saying.
Why isn’t 16 and Pregnant on MTV? Well, this is from a time, where MTV, actually did stand for Music Television.
Trent flips thru the channels, finding ESPN, where the 1999 NHL Draft is being shown.
With the 219th pick in the NHL Draft, The Tampa Bay Lightning Select….Andrew Helms from Carolina Forest High School.
Suddenly the phone rings.
If you’re expecting it, to be William Shatner on the other end, You really are stupid, My father didn’t call to say, Son you made it to the NHL, didn’t happen, and even my first blowjob, that I would receive a full six minutes from now from Mercedes, Yes that little petite girl with no tits…Is Mercedes Lewis.
So you ask how it turned out.
The Blowjob was a little sloppy, oh you meant the NHL?
Never made it sadly, I spent three months playing for the Lightning minor league circuit. While being praised as the fastest kid on ICE, Being small and tiny much like I am, wasn’t a good thing, Especially when I ran into a Six Foot, Three player from the Ukraine, who cheap shoted me, as I sped past him.
When in how, they say it, in Soviet Russia. You don’t take the stick, The Stick takes your knee, or something like that.
And during this entire time, I never got a call from Mr. Shatner, saying I’m proud of you son, for trying to make something of yourself. I nearly became a NHL Superstar, and my father couldn’t even acknowledge me.
So what happened after the NHL?
I think you know that story.
Trent…are you crying?
What?
You’re crying!
No, I’m not!
You are crying, and why are you thinking about a time, you got a blowjob from that whore of a ex-wife of yours?
Ashlie, you have to stop doing that, invading my flashbacks.
I could do that, but you know what would be better, if you focused on getting your child out of that damn room.
I can’t do that.
Why not?
This is only Episode Four of Six, if I get him out now, then what filler Character Development will I throw in, when the pay per view comes around, where is the fun in that? Plus don’t you know how theses story arches work? There has to be some type of danger, before the big finale.
Defense Mode…..Activated
Trent, what is that?
That Ashlie is a Cliffhanger and a prelude telling us…that we are going to have to defend ourselves next week….
What?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So Blade, We will finally meet. I believe this is going to be the second time; we’ve ever been in a ring together. Unless I was coked out of my mind before, another time that we may of wrestled.
But this time, it’s just me and you. The man people consider the best Cruiserweight in all of IWF at the moment. Against The Greatest Cruiserweight of all the times.
So this week, I face you, The Champion, versus clearly the man who is the number one contender to your championship, Angel hasn’t said it yet, He might not, considering he is still pissed from when I told him, I accidently grabbed Shelley boob when they were still married.
It was a accident Robert, It doesn’t even count, It was before she started dying her hair blonde and actually had the boobs that Alex must of spent a fortune on.
Speaking of Alex, I guess pinning the last male to hold the NCW World Championship, isn’t clearly considered good enough to be named number one contender.
So you’re telling me, I pin one of the hottest acts in the company, The man that many consider to be, the vocal point of this division, as well as also beating Ortega in the same night, doesn’t make me number one contender.
Maybe they want me to fail, I believe that maybe deep down, The company doesn’t want a thirty-one year old holding one of the most sought-after championships In the business.
But I would be lying out my ass if that was the case.
Bushido, this week lays a challenge for us both, your challenge is to prove, That you are indeed ready to be the man with the golden ticket, The kid who found it inside his wonka bar. You are the Cruiserweight Champion, and yet are never exactly the prom queen at the end of the night.
You’re basically a unknown, in a world where Jake Keeton’s elbow pad is a bigger sought out discussion then, Who is Bushido defending his title against next. You have basically flown in under the radar.
I mean after all, your biggest feat is defeating Mike Machado.
Not exactly something to write about. Mustache or not.
This is your chance Bushido, to finally to shake off the stigma of being a Tag Team Wrestler, to shake off the stigma of being random Japanese Stereotype number 3, This is your chance to face a man who for over a decade, has been looked at, As the top of the food chain when it comes to Cruiserweights, This is your chance to knock off a Hall Of Famer, a Triple Crown Winner, The man who once pulled down his pants in 1943 when he went back in time, and the idea of Godzilla was created when the Japanese glanced upon his penis.
You have that guy.
This is your chance to prove, this is your time, this is your chance to prove that you’re the Cell of the Cruiserweight Division, The perfect being, who is always evolving to be two steps ahead of the game.
But no one is going to look at you with disappointment when you do indeed far short, no one, except yourself will look at you, as a disappointment when you lose next week, I mean after all, I’m Trent Helms, You know the name. As I seem to be a huge pop icon there as well.
But for me Bushido is the unknown.
I have to look over my shoulder now that I have indeed pissed off, most of the Heavyweight Division by standing up, as this division sworn protector, defending against the day, that the bigger men, the lesser men, The less talented beings decide to invade upon us, I took up the oath alone, When two of the biggest, Badest Kaiju in all the land form a alliance to beat up poor defenseless Joe Everyman.
I have to defend this Division as it’s Grandmaster when the threat comes to our doorstep, I have to defend the Machado’s, The Keeton’s, The Ortega’s and even you, the Grand Gem of our division at the moment.
I fighting a war once again, that will keep me distracted from giving you my full attention, and if you are as ruthless and deadly as everyone seems to claim you are, You should have no problem bringing me to the True Death…I encourage you to do so Bushido, This is a once in a lifetime chance for you, to make a name for yourself, to end the biggest threat to your title, while his defenses are done.
You can either stand with me.
Or you can Strike me down.
If it’s the latter, I think you know exactly what will happen.
I will rise up stronger then you will ever imagine!
Because that’s Zenkai Power Bitches!!
Trent narrative Morgan Freeman Voice
The most awesome person ever who is named Trent Helms
Ashlie, The keeper of the jar, which contains my testicles
Tit-A Saurus Rex (Mercedes Lewis)
Before we get to this Bushido-San, I must first address an issue.
An issue that will soon bring itself to our doorstep.
It’s true that the Hierarchy is here, and they are more dangerous than ever running software version 8.2
I’ve been vocal about it, I’ve been addressing it, and many have simply turned a deaf-ear to what I have to say. I can’t say I blame them. After all this is coming from a man who once claimed to be from another form of existence, and not only claims to process the Power of a Super Saiyan-Jin, but can go two levels beyond that.
As our champion, I am pledging my support to help you, when they decide to strike our division. I know it is coming as Famularo and Sense have made it clear, they are not happy with the champions in any division.
Even the Cruiserweight Division.
I can’t see why, I mean after all. Our division has been the shining achievement of IWF so far. Out of all the champions, you’re the only man who hasn’t completely been an asshole. I love Spike and Rob, but they both know, that like me, Are indeed Assholes. We haven’t been crying out loud like someone claiming, that the staff is out to get them, nor have we engaged in gang warfare to get our ways.
There is a traitor among us, one who will sell out our entire division, and join the cause of Xander and Lex. I haven’t quite figured it out, but whoever it is, is keeping them quiet.
I feel they will emerge after we engage in what will be a epic contest, or after I’m blindsided by the Category 2 Kaiju known as Death train, and left defenseless.
If someone was to strike us, this week would be the perfect time.
Why now? If you was going to plan a attack, You would want to do it, when the two biggest threats to stop it, The Fighting Champion. And the Protector of the entire division is engaging in Mortal Kombat with nothing on the line?
It smells like a trap.
Feels like a Trap.
Maybe I’m wrong, so I’m going to phone a friend, He always seems to know when things are going down.
So maybe my good friends at AT&T can connect me to my good friend Ackbar.
Ackbar, this is me Trent, I’m facing Bushido this week, any ideas on what will happen?
IT”S A TRAP!
So I’m saying this Bushido, before I break into character, and throw so many explosions at you, that when it’s done, you’re going to feel like the girl in the middle of 19 guys in a Bukkake Film. We should stand together when the time comes. You were there in NCW when Xander made his move for power before, You were there when they took ahold of the company, and Xander daddy was given your titles, Do you really want another repeat of the last year of NCW, The year that basically killed the greatest promotion to ever live. The promotion that took you out of wrestling in front of 150 people, and put you in front of tens of thousands of people, do you want to see IWF turn into what NCW did when Xander became obsessed with the backstage clout?
So I am giving you my hand Bushido. Do you want to stand side by side with a Super Saiyan and defend this very division? You can take it and we are a unit, can fight back against the machine, Fight back against the Heavyweight who believe it’s their god given right to push us around. Or you can stab me with your sword, kneel me down, Pull that cool shit that the Black guy in Serenity did and make me fall on the sword, like I’ve done many times.
Choose wisely Bushido, I’ve fallen on that sword before, I’ve survived cancer, a stroke and the horrors that was Vertigo Dirt murder’s wedding. I will survive again; you’re more than willing to try your hand at it. But if my stroke and my return to the ring have proven anything.
It’s that my Zenkai Power is still in full force.
I would translate that for you, But considering, you come from the country, where most of my pop culture references come from, I guess you save me the trouble.
None of this would of never happened. If I wasn’t like my father James T. Kirk. Who was far too busy, being William Shatner, instead of being a father?
I missed nearly my son’s entire season of superior football. I remember what I consider my proudest day when I was seventeen.
The scene opens as we see a brown hair kid, his face looks familiar. Until you come closer and see Trent Helms, but a much younger version with long brown hair. He is listening to a portable CD player…Remember those?
Sitting next to him, is a very petite teenage girl, she has faded pink hair, hidden behind a blue bandana. She is wearing a Motor head Tank top, which looks like; it should be worn by someone who has much bigger breasts then what she has.
The telephone ring, not a cell phone, but a good old fashion House Phone, with the cord and everything.
Turn on the TV Kid, the voice says.
Trent turns on the Television, switching off from MTV, which is playing Slipknot’s Wait and Bleed Music Video. You’re watching this, and some of you, must be saying.
Why isn’t 16 and Pregnant on MTV? Well, this is from a time, where MTV, actually did stand for Music Television.
Trent flips thru the channels, finding ESPN, where the 1999 NHL Draft is being shown.
With the 219th pick in the NHL Draft, The Tampa Bay Lightning Select….Andrew Helms from Carolina Forest High School.
Suddenly the phone rings.
If you’re expecting it, to be William Shatner on the other end, You really are stupid, My father didn’t call to say, Son you made it to the NHL, didn’t happen, and even my first blowjob, that I would receive a full six minutes from now from Mercedes, Yes that little petite girl with no tits…Is Mercedes Lewis.
So you ask how it turned out.
The Blowjob was a little sloppy, oh you meant the NHL?
Never made it sadly, I spent three months playing for the Lightning minor league circuit. While being praised as the fastest kid on ICE, Being small and tiny much like I am, wasn’t a good thing, Especially when I ran into a Six Foot, Three player from the Ukraine, who cheap shoted me, as I sped past him.
When in how, they say it, in Soviet Russia. You don’t take the stick, The Stick takes your knee, or something like that.
And during this entire time, I never got a call from Mr. Shatner, saying I’m proud of you son, for trying to make something of yourself. I nearly became a NHL Superstar, and my father couldn’t even acknowledge me.
So what happened after the NHL?
I think you know that story.
Trent…are you crying?
What?
You’re crying!
No, I’m not!
You are crying, and why are you thinking about a time, you got a blowjob from that whore of a ex-wife of yours?
Ashlie, you have to stop doing that, invading my flashbacks.
I could do that, but you know what would be better, if you focused on getting your child out of that damn room.
I can’t do that.
Why not?
This is only Episode Four of Six, if I get him out now, then what filler Character Development will I throw in, when the pay per view comes around, where is the fun in that? Plus don’t you know how theses story arches work? There has to be some type of danger, before the big finale.
Defense Mode…..Activated
Trent, what is that?
That Ashlie is a Cliffhanger and a prelude telling us…that we are going to have to defend ourselves next week….
What?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So Blade, We will finally meet. I believe this is going to be the second time; we’ve ever been in a ring together. Unless I was coked out of my mind before, another time that we may of wrestled.
But this time, it’s just me and you. The man people consider the best Cruiserweight in all of IWF at the moment. Against The Greatest Cruiserweight of all the times.
So this week, I face you, The Champion, versus clearly the man who is the number one contender to your championship, Angel hasn’t said it yet, He might not, considering he is still pissed from when I told him, I accidently grabbed Shelley boob when they were still married.
It was a accident Robert, It doesn’t even count, It was before she started dying her hair blonde and actually had the boobs that Alex must of spent a fortune on.
Speaking of Alex, I guess pinning the last male to hold the NCW World Championship, isn’t clearly considered good enough to be named number one contender.
So you’re telling me, I pin one of the hottest acts in the company, The man that many consider to be, the vocal point of this division, as well as also beating Ortega in the same night, doesn’t make me number one contender.
Maybe they want me to fail, I believe that maybe deep down, The company doesn’t want a thirty-one year old holding one of the most sought-after championships In the business.
But I would be lying out my ass if that was the case.
Bushido, this week lays a challenge for us both, your challenge is to prove, That you are indeed ready to be the man with the golden ticket, The kid who found it inside his wonka bar. You are the Cruiserweight Champion, and yet are never exactly the prom queen at the end of the night.
You’re basically a unknown, in a world where Jake Keeton’s elbow pad is a bigger sought out discussion then, Who is Bushido defending his title against next. You have basically flown in under the radar.
I mean after all, your biggest feat is defeating Mike Machado.
Not exactly something to write about. Mustache or not.
This is your chance Bushido, to finally to shake off the stigma of being a Tag Team Wrestler, to shake off the stigma of being random Japanese Stereotype number 3, This is your chance to face a man who for over a decade, has been looked at, As the top of the food chain when it comes to Cruiserweights, This is your chance to knock off a Hall Of Famer, a Triple Crown Winner, The man who once pulled down his pants in 1943 when he went back in time, and the idea of Godzilla was created when the Japanese glanced upon his penis.
You have that guy.
This is your chance to prove, this is your time, this is your chance to prove that you’re the Cell of the Cruiserweight Division, The perfect being, who is always evolving to be two steps ahead of the game.
But no one is going to look at you with disappointment when you do indeed far short, no one, except yourself will look at you, as a disappointment when you lose next week, I mean after all, I’m Trent Helms, You know the name. As I seem to be a huge pop icon there as well.
But for me Bushido is the unknown.
I have to look over my shoulder now that I have indeed pissed off, most of the Heavyweight Division by standing up, as this division sworn protector, defending against the day, that the bigger men, the lesser men, The less talented beings decide to invade upon us, I took up the oath alone, When two of the biggest, Badest Kaiju in all the land form a alliance to beat up poor defenseless Joe Everyman.
I have to defend this Division as it’s Grandmaster when the threat comes to our doorstep, I have to defend the Machado’s, The Keeton’s, The Ortega’s and even you, the Grand Gem of our division at the moment.
I fighting a war once again, that will keep me distracted from giving you my full attention, and if you are as ruthless and deadly as everyone seems to claim you are, You should have no problem bringing me to the True Death…I encourage you to do so Bushido, This is a once in a lifetime chance for you, to make a name for yourself, to end the biggest threat to your title, while his defenses are done.
You can either stand with me.
Or you can Strike me down.
If it’s the latter, I think you know exactly what will happen.
I will rise up stronger then you will ever imagine!
Because that’s Zenkai Power Bitches!!
Well howdy there pardner.