Post by Roberto Verona on Oct 6, 2013 20:31:29 GMT
A belated welcome to the Imperial Wrestling Federation, Killian Creed.
Allow me to introduce myself, because you seem to have struggled to look past the suit and have mistaken me for a guy on the same level as nobodies.
I am your benevolent leader, Roberto Verona. You may have heard of me. I mean, I talk loud enough, and I sign those cute paycheques you cash at the end of every month and I am a pretty big deal. Longest reigning NCW World Champion, which fyi, was only a few months ago, NCW Hall of Famer, but you already knew that, best professional wrestler in the world, yadda, yadda…
I think I am the only professional wrestler to take over an entire company without having to get my penis out and sire my way up the food chain.
But this isn’t about me is it, or a lonely hearts ad for that matter. This is the part of the week where I have to sit in front of a camera and verbally deconstruct a newcomer without looking like a complete idiot who is devoid of any semblance of knowledge about you. Which, considering I am your boss, would be pretty irresponsible of me.
The way I see it, I have a few option’s ahead of me. There is the Mike Laszlo scattergun approach where I try to cover as many possible bases as possible just in case I miss anything out, because heaven forbid I don’t cover anything.
Of course there is also the Alex Jones mindless insults philosophy where, regardless of facts, figures, statistics or even common sense I just tell you that I am physically and mentally superior to you because I am crushingly insecure. Sometimes we call it the bi-weekly Everyman Express after he’s had one too many and isn’t sure what to say anymore.
Or maybe even the Rob Diamond program, where I make penis jokes and display a serious case of regressed homoerotic man child traits. All to cover up the fact that I struggle to recognise who on earth I am actually wrestling every week from atop my pedestal.
Now they’re all pretty feckless and I’ve never liked to look like a complete imbecile with no ability to string together a sentence without drooling over myself and slapping my chest like a caveman so, I’ll tell you what, let’s make this interesting. I am actually going to show you some respect and learn a little about you before I stroke my own ego like a Bond villain. Seriously everyone, has nobody on this roster ever heard of Google, Yahoo or Bing.
Or the IWF.com roster profiles.
As you can see, Killian, I am working with the mentally deficient, let’s hope that my exploration of cyber space doesn’t uncover any. You're little tirade already has you on negative points...
Verona pauses for a moment, grabbing the mouse on his desk before tapping away at some keys with the other. Suddenly his eyes light up.
Oh… Oh my. This is a little… spicy.
You are Killian Creed, former convict? Right? You know I am beginning to wonder how leaky our employee checks are these days, you’re the third convict we’ve hired. Is there a rehabilitation centre somewhere called IWF and the criminal justice system is just sending you all to the wrong place?
Verona makes a few more clicks.
Oh, erm… let’s hope you’ve nothing to with the second top result for IWF on Google, I’m not sure I’d like us to be confused with the Internet Watch Foundation if we’re rehoming convicts…
I suppose, however, it is apt. When I was a bounty hunter I was making thousands of dollars off of criminals and now, I am making even more money having you dance like performing monkeys for me on a weekly basis. All that’s changed is that I am at the other end of the factory line these days.
However, don’t get me wrong, Killian, frankly I am not overly concerned as to why you were incarcerated for fifteen years, as long as it doesn’t affect this company in a negative light. My liberal days are long behind me, I realise the justice system is corrupt, just like wrestling, and beyond some sort of senatorial campaign I appreciate my efforts have to be channelled into changing this business for the better instead.
I don’t care about why you ended up in jail, or whether you deserved to or whether you’re a threat to society. What I care about is what you do for me whilst you’re under my employ and quite honestly; this tortured soul, a mystery man in search of glory is just a perfect marketing ploy for the young males in the crowd yearning for a bad ass to invest in. Perhaps that is a very self-serving assessment of your twisted soul following your imprisonment desperate to prove yourself, but to be blunt…
That’s how I have to look at each and every one of you now, outside of a competitive arena.
An asset.
You’re a commodity that either benefits, or degrades, this company. An employee I can trust to go out there, make the fans love you or hate you, put on a show and not do anything too stupid. If you want to achieve the glory you crave, I’ll facilitate that, and in return I expect you to behave like a real man.
If you play the game, I’ll help erase your past when it matters and accentuate your positives. I’ll pander to your desire for fame and give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Hell, maybe I’ll even increase your online presence, seriously, are you some sort of sleeper agent?
Just let me make this very clear. This company is somewhere where accolades are earned. If you mess up, I will come down on you like a ton of bricks and make what I have done to Joe Everyman look like child’s play. This isn’t somewhere for men or women who want to stamp their feet like petulant little children…
Please forgive me, Killian, I am a popular man who is often in demand, I hadn’t forgotten about you.
For all your murky past may say about you as a man, I am pretty impressed by what you’re results say about you as a performer. You may be an objectionable human being, but you’re a damn fine wrestler. Heck, that is why you have been granted this exceptional opportunity this week.
Not many people get to wrestle with the best professional wrestler on the planet, who ironically just so happens to be your boss all in one big fun bundle of Italian joy.
You’ve snapped every single person I’ve thrown your way and every time you’ve been dominant, dangerous… a real threat. Granted, you’ve not wrestled the crème de la crème of the roster, but few men peak my attention so early as to earn a chance at the big dogs so soon into their career in this company as you have.
For all the Google searches, the whimsical jokes about soap in the shower and scathing little digs at your personal life I could trot out lazily, the fact is that you are a real talent.
I even see a little bit of myself in you, beneath all the facial hair anyway. Perhaps you don’t quite have the devious intellect that I have which carried me all the way to the top, but when it comes to being willing to do anything inside a ring to get ahead? Well, we’re practically brothers.
Although you’re clearly the one mom and dad don’t like to talk about.
Heck, I can even see a little bit of me in the cocky way you carry yourself. You’re even pretty original too, you’re the first person to ever offer to beat me impotent. Seriously, Bravo. The fact you want to treat me just like any other competitor is also commendable, it mean’s nobody intimidates you.
Yet it’s also, very, very, stupid.
Perhaps it is overconfidence, maybe it is simply ignorance, but I am not like Stephen Kingsley or Davey Ortega and if you want to treat me like I am, you’re going to learn a very painful lesson from me this Monday night. Confidence in yourself is one thing, Killian, but treating your opponents as effectively equal victims of an irresistible force is quite another.
I’m not just some other guy, and it has nothing to do with my being your boss.
I didn’t succeed 15 years ago, I dominated professional wrestling for nearly a calendar year only months ago before I took a step back to allow other men their opportunity to succeed along the path I created for them. The only reason I am not on top right now is because I am cultivating the crops I planted by working my ass off week in, week out for years. Instead of hogging the spotlight, I am sharing it with hairy little upstarts like you who think their shit smells of roses and the sun shines out of their arse because I think it is important that I do. I am not so insecure in my abilities that I have to prevent all competition.
You want to bitch about opportunity? About being ignored and underestimated?
In only your fourth match in this company you’re wrestling one of the biggest names in the company instead of some tedious midcard romp and you think you’re being held back? You think I haven’t noticed you? I handpicked you to measure how good you really are, to personally evaluate how far you can go. Your performances peaked my interest; I looked at Killian Creed the wrestler before I looked at Killian Creed the man.
Stop thinking inside the box and realise that everything I do always has a motive. Joseph Everyman is getting another opportunity because it is good for business, all the little Everymanites will lap up his little underdog story and the world is in uproar about whether Spike will or won’t beat him to a pulp to keep his belt. He may not have earned it with results, but he earned it by making people care about him, something even the most talented of men can't always achieve.
I said it before, and I will say it again. Play the game and you will succeed. You need to understand professional wrestling isn’t just about turning up and having a match and being dominant. You need to make a statement with your actions and I am giving you your first opportunity to do so.
Impress me, I’ll give you everything you want.
Waltz into this match with the attitude that I am just another run of the mill yesterday man, and you’ll be back wrestling Gibberg and Soloman Khan on the dark show.
Your job isn’t to piss me off, it isn’t to get under my skin and hell it isn’t even to “destroy me”. It is to lace up those boots, prove to me that you have the ability to go as far as you aspire and win or lose, if you convince me, you’ll be given the world.
I know what it takes to be the best, I want to see if you have that in you. To see if you’re more than just another little man with a big mouth who can talk the talk, who flatters to deceive against the rank and file but fails to deliver against the big boys. I’ve seen countless men walk in, make a big noise in their first few weeks and then fall flat on their ass against a real icon. They win a few matches and think they’re the shit and then when push comes to shove, their left with a face full of it.
You need to prove to me that you’re something else. Something that transcends just another guy who thought this career was a way to get fame.
That you have the right components to be the next big thing and not just another flash in the pan whose momentum carries them further than their composite abilities and whose decline is spectacular when that is taken from them. That you are Killian Creed, wrestling megastar and not Killian Creed, the guy who lives on a midcard title victory on the convention circuit for the rest of his life because he didn’t have it in him to surpass that level.
This week you can show everyone that you’re not just some egotistical little jackass who thinks he’s something special despite possessing nothing to achieve the level of success they think they’re owed.
If you can prove yourself, mark my words. I won’t forget the name Killian Creed.
And I’ll make sure nobody else does either.
Allow me to introduce myself, because you seem to have struggled to look past the suit and have mistaken me for a guy on the same level as nobodies.
I am your benevolent leader, Roberto Verona. You may have heard of me. I mean, I talk loud enough, and I sign those cute paycheques you cash at the end of every month and I am a pretty big deal. Longest reigning NCW World Champion, which fyi, was only a few months ago, NCW Hall of Famer, but you already knew that, best professional wrestler in the world, yadda, yadda…
I think I am the only professional wrestler to take over an entire company without having to get my penis out and sire my way up the food chain.
But this isn’t about me is it, or a lonely hearts ad for that matter. This is the part of the week where I have to sit in front of a camera and verbally deconstruct a newcomer without looking like a complete idiot who is devoid of any semblance of knowledge about you. Which, considering I am your boss, would be pretty irresponsible of me.
The way I see it, I have a few option’s ahead of me. There is the Mike Laszlo scattergun approach where I try to cover as many possible bases as possible just in case I miss anything out, because heaven forbid I don’t cover anything.
Of course there is also the Alex Jones mindless insults philosophy where, regardless of facts, figures, statistics or even common sense I just tell you that I am physically and mentally superior to you because I am crushingly insecure. Sometimes we call it the bi-weekly Everyman Express after he’s had one too many and isn’t sure what to say anymore.
Or maybe even the Rob Diamond program, where I make penis jokes and display a serious case of regressed homoerotic man child traits. All to cover up the fact that I struggle to recognise who on earth I am actually wrestling every week from atop my pedestal.
Now they’re all pretty feckless and I’ve never liked to look like a complete imbecile with no ability to string together a sentence without drooling over myself and slapping my chest like a caveman so, I’ll tell you what, let’s make this interesting. I am actually going to show you some respect and learn a little about you before I stroke my own ego like a Bond villain. Seriously everyone, has nobody on this roster ever heard of Google, Yahoo or Bing.
Or the IWF.com roster profiles.
As you can see, Killian, I am working with the mentally deficient, let’s hope that my exploration of cyber space doesn’t uncover any. You're little tirade already has you on negative points...
Verona pauses for a moment, grabbing the mouse on his desk before tapping away at some keys with the other. Suddenly his eyes light up.
Oh… Oh my. This is a little… spicy.
You are Killian Creed, former convict? Right? You know I am beginning to wonder how leaky our employee checks are these days, you’re the third convict we’ve hired. Is there a rehabilitation centre somewhere called IWF and the criminal justice system is just sending you all to the wrong place?
Verona makes a few more clicks.
Oh, erm… let’s hope you’ve nothing to with the second top result for IWF on Google, I’m not sure I’d like us to be confused with the Internet Watch Foundation if we’re rehoming convicts…
I suppose, however, it is apt. When I was a bounty hunter I was making thousands of dollars off of criminals and now, I am making even more money having you dance like performing monkeys for me on a weekly basis. All that’s changed is that I am at the other end of the factory line these days.
However, don’t get me wrong, Killian, frankly I am not overly concerned as to why you were incarcerated for fifteen years, as long as it doesn’t affect this company in a negative light. My liberal days are long behind me, I realise the justice system is corrupt, just like wrestling, and beyond some sort of senatorial campaign I appreciate my efforts have to be channelled into changing this business for the better instead.
I don’t care about why you ended up in jail, or whether you deserved to or whether you’re a threat to society. What I care about is what you do for me whilst you’re under my employ and quite honestly; this tortured soul, a mystery man in search of glory is just a perfect marketing ploy for the young males in the crowd yearning for a bad ass to invest in. Perhaps that is a very self-serving assessment of your twisted soul following your imprisonment desperate to prove yourself, but to be blunt…
That’s how I have to look at each and every one of you now, outside of a competitive arena.
An asset.
You’re a commodity that either benefits, or degrades, this company. An employee I can trust to go out there, make the fans love you or hate you, put on a show and not do anything too stupid. If you want to achieve the glory you crave, I’ll facilitate that, and in return I expect you to behave like a real man.
If you play the game, I’ll help erase your past when it matters and accentuate your positives. I’ll pander to your desire for fame and give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Hell, maybe I’ll even increase your online presence, seriously, are you some sort of sleeper agent?
Just let me make this very clear. This company is somewhere where accolades are earned. If you mess up, I will come down on you like a ton of bricks and make what I have done to Joe Everyman look like child’s play. This isn’t somewhere for men or women who want to stamp their feet like petulant little children…
Suddenly, Roberto’s door flings open violently as an incensed Jake Conway marches into the room.
Jake Conway: Roberto!
Roberto Verona: Killian… bear with me… Jake, how are you?
Jake Conway: Pissed off.
Roberto sighs.
Roberto Verona: Look I am sorry about what happened to Kathy…
Jake Conway: I don’t care if you’re sorry, I want to get my hands on that twenty foot piddly ass Lex Sense so I can break every bone in his twisted little body.
Roberto Verona: I am afraid that won’t be possible.
Jake furrows his brows incredulously.
Jake Conway: Why the hell not!?
Roberto Verona: Lex Sense has been given a leave of absence.
Jake Conway: What did you do that for? He doesn’t deserve to get away with this, after what he helped do to my Kathy!
Roberto Verona: Jake! Please, calm down! I had to give him a leave of absence after you decided to jump him and injure him.
Jake Conway: This is bullshit! People need to pay, Kathy is my world, I’m not going to let screwballs like Eternity and Lex Sense orchestrate harm towards her.
Roberto Verona: Then you need to come to your sense and realise that blowing off at me isn’t the answer, there’s little I can do when you take power into your own hands and injure people. You need to channel your rage more appropriately. If Lex returns, you can have him in the ring in whatever sadistic match you like.
Jake Conway: What about Eternity?
Roberto Verona: Rest assured, Miss Lockheart will deal with her. I suggest you take your concerns to her.
Jake stops himself from responding, gradually calming himself down.
Roberto Verona: Don’t forget who your friends are, Jake. You know I want to see them brought to justice as much as you, but you need to think before you act. Put that degree to good use, yeah?
Jake closes his eyes and nods.
Jake Conway: I will speak to Kat… I mean, Miss Lockheart…
Jake turns and walks out of the office doorway which he flung open earlier, leaving Roberto alone.
Please forgive me, Killian, I am a popular man who is often in demand, I hadn’t forgotten about you.
For all your murky past may say about you as a man, I am pretty impressed by what you’re results say about you as a performer. You may be an objectionable human being, but you’re a damn fine wrestler. Heck, that is why you have been granted this exceptional opportunity this week.
Not many people get to wrestle with the best professional wrestler on the planet, who ironically just so happens to be your boss all in one big fun bundle of Italian joy.
You’ve snapped every single person I’ve thrown your way and every time you’ve been dominant, dangerous… a real threat. Granted, you’ve not wrestled the crème de la crème of the roster, but few men peak my attention so early as to earn a chance at the big dogs so soon into their career in this company as you have.
For all the Google searches, the whimsical jokes about soap in the shower and scathing little digs at your personal life I could trot out lazily, the fact is that you are a real talent.
I even see a little bit of myself in you, beneath all the facial hair anyway. Perhaps you don’t quite have the devious intellect that I have which carried me all the way to the top, but when it comes to being willing to do anything inside a ring to get ahead? Well, we’re practically brothers.
Although you’re clearly the one mom and dad don’t like to talk about.
Heck, I can even see a little bit of me in the cocky way you carry yourself. You’re even pretty original too, you’re the first person to ever offer to beat me impotent. Seriously, Bravo. The fact you want to treat me just like any other competitor is also commendable, it mean’s nobody intimidates you.
Yet it’s also, very, very, stupid.
Perhaps it is overconfidence, maybe it is simply ignorance, but I am not like Stephen Kingsley or Davey Ortega and if you want to treat me like I am, you’re going to learn a very painful lesson from me this Monday night. Confidence in yourself is one thing, Killian, but treating your opponents as effectively equal victims of an irresistible force is quite another.
I’m not just some other guy, and it has nothing to do with my being your boss.
I didn’t succeed 15 years ago, I dominated professional wrestling for nearly a calendar year only months ago before I took a step back to allow other men their opportunity to succeed along the path I created for them. The only reason I am not on top right now is because I am cultivating the crops I planted by working my ass off week in, week out for years. Instead of hogging the spotlight, I am sharing it with hairy little upstarts like you who think their shit smells of roses and the sun shines out of their arse because I think it is important that I do. I am not so insecure in my abilities that I have to prevent all competition.
You want to bitch about opportunity? About being ignored and underestimated?
In only your fourth match in this company you’re wrestling one of the biggest names in the company instead of some tedious midcard romp and you think you’re being held back? You think I haven’t noticed you? I handpicked you to measure how good you really are, to personally evaluate how far you can go. Your performances peaked my interest; I looked at Killian Creed the wrestler before I looked at Killian Creed the man.
Stop thinking inside the box and realise that everything I do always has a motive. Joseph Everyman is getting another opportunity because it is good for business, all the little Everymanites will lap up his little underdog story and the world is in uproar about whether Spike will or won’t beat him to a pulp to keep his belt. He may not have earned it with results, but he earned it by making people care about him, something even the most talented of men can't always achieve.
I said it before, and I will say it again. Play the game and you will succeed. You need to understand professional wrestling isn’t just about turning up and having a match and being dominant. You need to make a statement with your actions and I am giving you your first opportunity to do so.
Impress me, I’ll give you everything you want.
Waltz into this match with the attitude that I am just another run of the mill yesterday man, and you’ll be back wrestling Gibberg and Soloman Khan on the dark show.
Your job isn’t to piss me off, it isn’t to get under my skin and hell it isn’t even to “destroy me”. It is to lace up those boots, prove to me that you have the ability to go as far as you aspire and win or lose, if you convince me, you’ll be given the world.
I know what it takes to be the best, I want to see if you have that in you. To see if you’re more than just another little man with a big mouth who can talk the talk, who flatters to deceive against the rank and file but fails to deliver against the big boys. I’ve seen countless men walk in, make a big noise in their first few weeks and then fall flat on their ass against a real icon. They win a few matches and think they’re the shit and then when push comes to shove, their left with a face full of it.
You need to prove to me that you’re something else. Something that transcends just another guy who thought this career was a way to get fame.
That you have the right components to be the next big thing and not just another flash in the pan whose momentum carries them further than their composite abilities and whose decline is spectacular when that is taken from them. That you are Killian Creed, wrestling megastar and not Killian Creed, the guy who lives on a midcard title victory on the convention circuit for the rest of his life because he didn’t have it in him to surpass that level.
This week you can show everyone that you’re not just some egotistical little jackass who thinks he’s something special despite possessing nothing to achieve the level of success they think they’re owed.
If you can prove yourself, mark my words. I won’t forget the name Killian Creed.
And I’ll make sure nobody else does either.
As Verona looks into the camera the sound of a woman’s voice suddenly breaks the silence as the Diamond’s Champion, Jessica Reed enters the same door which Jake Conway exited only moments earlier.
Jessica Reed: You!
Roberto Verona: What did I do now? Can’t you seem I am a little busy?
Jessica jabs a finger into Verona’s chest.
Jessica Reed: What the hell was that?
Roberto Verona: Hannah said you like dolphins.
Jessica stares at Roberto incredulously.
Jessica Reed: Yeah, like in the ocean! Not at ringside!
Roberto Verona: If it’s any consolation they were technically my pod…
Jessica Reed: Why do you own a dolphin pod?
Roberto Verona: Because I am an eco-friendly oligarch.
Jessica Reed: Stop trying to talk your way out of this.
Roberto Verona: I don’t actually know what I am talking my way out of.
Jessica Reed: Proving Ana Valentine right!
Roberto raises an eyebrow.
Roberto Verona: Pardon?
Jessica Reed: You heard me! She’s been running around telling everyone how I am the company pet project and then you have Miocene marine mammals and fire jugglers set up for my entrance. Don’t you realise that I just look like a manufactured Barbie doll who gets special treatment now?
Roberto Verona: Miocene marine mammals?
Jessica Reed: Don’t look so surprised, I watch Nat Geo. And Shark Week.
Roberto Verona: So, what you’re saying is you don’t want me to spend money on an entrance befitting out top female champion?
Jessica Reed: No, I am saying buy me some pyro or something like a normal boss! Stop pretending you’re Tony Stark.
Roberto Verona: I’m more of a Bruce Wayne…
Jessica Reed: I am being serious, stay out of my entrance! I am a legitimate professional, I don’t need any nippletism…
Roberto Verona: Don’t you mean nepotism?
Jessica scowls at Verona before stamping her foot, turning, and exiting his office just as Hannah Reed walks in, a stack of papers in her hands and a look of bemusement across her face.
Hannah Reed: What did you do this time?
Roberto Verona: Inadvertently justified some sort of inane criticism that some girls on the roster have been making of her and single handily usurped her credibility, re-enforcing stereotypes she has been desperately trying to shed in an attempt to drop the Daddy’s girl insecurities she retains from your father’s reign of mental abuse.
Hannah Reed: She got all of that from dolphins?
Roberto Verona: Yeah, something like that. Did you bring the papers?
Hannah pauses before reluctantly placing the stack on Roberto’s desk.
Hannah Reed: Yeah… are you really going to fire him if Spike doesn’t fight?
Roberto Verona: Yep.
Hannah Reed: And you’re okay with that?
Roberto Verona: I am delirious. Are you trying to appeal to my humane side?
Hannah Reed: Haven’t you already done enough? I mean, you’ve made your point.
Roberto Verona: Joe Everyman publically embarrassed the company and then made baseless accusations towards my integrity. Now I have to go to some police station to answer questions on him allegedly bribing police officials. He should be grateful I didn’t just fire him on the spot and wish his children good luck in their future endeavours considering their father won’t be solvent until they are in their 30s if I find out he’s made yet another cock up.
Hannah Reed: So that’s a no.
Roberto Verona: Are we really going to debate the moralities of crushing Everyman’s spirit on television every week after I went beyond normal procedure and let him keep his job despite his actions?
Hannah Reed: I don’t think I have the energy.
Roberto pushes his chair back, lifting himself up.
Roberto Verona: Then I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we have that meeting to attend…
Hannah groans.
Hannah Reed: Great, I get to make notes whilst two alpha’s butt heads over a mahogany table. Like typing up the potential destruction of a man’s entire life all day wasn’t enough fun. How on earth do you keep smiling after endless complaints and interruptions?
Roberto Verona: Oh lighten up, I am sure it’s going to be awesome. Most people would say that it’s every woman’s fantasy. It isn’t every Knite you get to have meetings like these.
Hannah Reed: Please stop.
Roberto laughs.
Roberto Verona: Spoilsport. Let's just get out of here before the next angry person wants to rip my head off arrives.
Well howdy there pardner.