Post by Dawn Halliwell on Sept 23, 2021 1:15:10 GMT
Fuck. I feel like I haven’t been able to enter the ring in months. I mean, I haven’t. You know but it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s FINE.
Nah, I’m kidding. I’m mad as hell. But at least I got to be 24 hour champion for a hot second. So that was fun. Course Malo clings onto that shit like his life depends on it. Only useful thing he’s ever done. Yeah, I said what I said. What?
Am I bitter? Yeah. Next question.
So this is obviously for me to stretch my legs and remind the fans who the fuck I am. I am here to kick some serious ass. And that’s all I am here to do. But let’s do the Road so Far or previously on or whatever the fuck.
MY NAME IS DAWN MOTHERFUCKING HALLIWELL!
One of two bastards of Spike Kane. Out of the mountain of chicks he nailed three of us lived. Go us. I like living like there is no tomorrow. My older brother Warren is a super soft cotton candy cloud full of light. I believe in headbutting people and kicking their teeth in. I have anger issues. I had a brief period of being desperate for my Dad’s love and affection, but I got over that. I had a brief period of doing some self-hating behavior and drinking but Warren and Caitlyn helped me get over that.
Caitlyn is my wife. Yeah, I got married. Yes, I married a woman. I know, I was surprised too.
Did {NAME REDACTED} predict that? No, fuck him. Just a broken clock is right twice a day.
Considering the amount of gay panic Dad had it’s surprising how many of his kids ended up queer, right? Hope’s a baby so here is hoping she joins the alphabet mafia to really stick it to dear old dad. I mean, hell even Auntie Abigail knows the Game of Flats. If rumors are to be believed the cousins too. What I’m saying is everyone with Kane blood since the twins is a little Friend of Dorthey.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, me.
So here I am. Back in the ring after just helping train my half brother. I am here to fucking stay. I am hard hitting and not giving a fuck. And you know what? That’s fine. I like doing that. When Warren and I do the mixed tag championship remember my face. Because I am going to be kicking your ass. Yeah, I am serious. There’s also the cruise thing but Shhh… we’re not meant to talk about that.
Point being, I am a former Iron Maiden, Former Imperial Luchadora Champion, and former 24 hour champion. So when I say I am willing to kick your face in, trust me, I mean it.
Nah, I’m kidding. I’m mad as hell. But at least I got to be 24 hour champion for a hot second. So that was fun. Course Malo clings onto that shit like his life depends on it. Only useful thing he’s ever done. Yeah, I said what I said. What?
Am I bitter? Yeah. Next question.
So this is obviously for me to stretch my legs and remind the fans who the fuck I am. I am here to kick some serious ass. And that’s all I am here to do. But let’s do the Road so Far or previously on or whatever the fuck.
MY NAME IS DAWN MOTHERFUCKING HALLIWELL!
One of two bastards of Spike Kane. Out of the mountain of chicks he nailed three of us lived. Go us. I like living like there is no tomorrow. My older brother Warren is a super soft cotton candy cloud full of light. I believe in headbutting people and kicking their teeth in. I have anger issues. I had a brief period of being desperate for my Dad’s love and affection, but I got over that. I had a brief period of doing some self-hating behavior and drinking but Warren and Caitlyn helped me get over that.
Caitlyn is my wife. Yeah, I got married. Yes, I married a woman. I know, I was surprised too.
Did {NAME REDACTED} predict that? No, fuck him. Just a broken clock is right twice a day.
Considering the amount of gay panic Dad had it’s surprising how many of his kids ended up queer, right? Hope’s a baby so here is hoping she joins the alphabet mafia to really stick it to dear old dad. I mean, hell even Auntie Abigail knows the Game of Flats. If rumors are to be believed the cousins too. What I’m saying is everyone with Kane blood since the twins is a little Friend of Dorthey.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, me.
So here I am. Back in the ring after just helping train my half brother. I am here to fucking stay. I am hard hitting and not giving a fuck. And you know what? That’s fine. I like doing that. When Warren and I do the mixed tag championship remember my face. Because I am going to be kicking your ass. Yeah, I am serious. There’s also the cruise thing but Shhh… we’re not meant to talk about that.
Point being, I am a former Iron Maiden, Former Imperial Luchadora Champion, and former 24 hour champion. So when I say I am willing to kick your face in, trust me, I mean it.
Dawn didn’t mind helping her best friend carrying in the groceries or even the mail. They lived near each other. Across the street. Dawn trained her best and kept an eye on Vivienne Rodgers like an overprotective older sister. It was just part of the way she handled things. Warren lived down the street but Dawn knew he was spending most of his time with Harper. She didn’t like it but had given up fighting Warren on it. They were obsessed with each other and you just had to let that shit flow.
She had also been helping out with Vivienne’s dogs from time to time. Pregnancy made the bitch sleepy and Dawn had no problem helping out. She walked into Vivienne’s house to return the dogs, got them to their water bowls before unclipping them before walking over to where Vivienne was napping on the couch. She moved some dishes and mail to a neat pile before throwing a blanket over her friend. She went about washing the dishes and making sure the dogs were fed.
She made sure Vivienne had ordered grocery delivery, checked the lawn was being taken care of by someone before sitting on the couch and stealing a chocolate covered pretzel and taking the TV remote to check what was on Netflix.
“Mmm, How long have I been asleep?” Vivien sat up slightly.
“A bit.” Dawn shrugged. “Want to watch Nailed it? New episodes.”
“You hate nailed it.”
“I do. But I’m not sure horror movies are good for the fetuses.”
“I’m not made of glass. Besides, they can’t hear yet.” Vivienne adjusted to laying her head on Dawn’s shoulder. “Where’s Caitlyn?”
“Cosplay photoshoot.”
“That’s nice.” Vivienne nodded. “Which Friday are we on again?
“Jason versus Carrie.”
Vivienne sat up and blinked, “You’re kidding.”
“Only kind of.”
“Well, put that on. I need to see Jason versus Carrie. Do they run off and get married?”
Dawn laughed, “You wish.”
“I do. They’d be so cute.”
Hi Kate.
You see how I didn’t mention being a Former Combat Wrestling Women’s Heavy weight champion? That’s because it doesn’t count here. My one time title run at a company that folded under it own weight in the indies doesn’t mean a goddamn thing, does it? Not here. Not in IWF. The only thing that matters here is the hard work that I do here.
Like how you are nothing but an utter disappointment. Maybe somewhere else you are a badass bitch. Maybe somewhere else you are considered title event talent. Maybe somewhere else you can flex on everyone with all the titles you’ve gotten somewhere else and how much you can do to be a good wrestler.
But here? Here in IWF?
You’ve done dick all. All you’ve done here of note is feud with Crystal a million time. Cheat on your husband. Proclaim you were bisexual but then pretended you never said that. Like, girl. Get your shit together.
You have a singing career but no body knows or cares about it. It’s a big part of your persona but like, you haven’t done anything with it. You call yourself a siren but siren’s only work on dudes. Being a siren in the women’s division is like being a condom machine in the Vatican.
You haven’t done anything interesting in years. Years. You come back every couple of months and let us all know this time will be different. This time you mean business. This time you’ve got motivation.
But you don’t have any of that.
You never mean any of it. It’s like getting a promise from a known cannibal that he’s not gonna eat you. It’s gonna happen!
So why don’t we do each other a favor? You try not to retread your greatest hits of what Kate Steele is gonna do or what Kate Steele has done. And you just try something new. I might actually die of shock.
Either way I’m gonna break your uwu little girl face with my goddamn knees.
All
Bloody
Hail!
You see how I didn’t mention being a Former Combat Wrestling Women’s Heavy weight champion? That’s because it doesn’t count here. My one time title run at a company that folded under it own weight in the indies doesn’t mean a goddamn thing, does it? Not here. Not in IWF. The only thing that matters here is the hard work that I do here.
Like how you are nothing but an utter disappointment. Maybe somewhere else you are a badass bitch. Maybe somewhere else you are considered title event talent. Maybe somewhere else you can flex on everyone with all the titles you’ve gotten somewhere else and how much you can do to be a good wrestler.
But here? Here in IWF?
You’ve done dick all. All you’ve done here of note is feud with Crystal a million time. Cheat on your husband. Proclaim you were bisexual but then pretended you never said that. Like, girl. Get your shit together.
You have a singing career but no body knows or cares about it. It’s a big part of your persona but like, you haven’t done anything with it. You call yourself a siren but siren’s only work on dudes. Being a siren in the women’s division is like being a condom machine in the Vatican.
You haven’t done anything interesting in years. Years. You come back every couple of months and let us all know this time will be different. This time you mean business. This time you’ve got motivation.
But you don’t have any of that.
You never mean any of it. It’s like getting a promise from a known cannibal that he’s not gonna eat you. It’s gonna happen!
So why don’t we do each other a favor? You try not to retread your greatest hits of what Kate Steele is gonna do or what Kate Steele has done. And you just try something new. I might actually die of shock.
Either way I’m gonna break your uwu little girl face with my goddamn knees.
All
Bloody
Hail!