Post by Gjenrei on Oct 19, 2013 4:41:43 GMT
Flight 77893 to Tokyo, via Los Angeles is now boarding.
"As I watched the events unfold with Cable and Amber, I started to feel disconnected from myself. This mask, which already had a life of it's own, was starting to feel like a bag over my head, suffocating me. I needed a way to be grounded, a way to remember, but as I looked around I wasn't seeing it as a possibility."
Please make sure you have all your belongings with you when boarding.
"But there always was one place I could go, a place that nobody would ever suspect. Unfortunately, it's quite a trip."
-Few Hours Earlier-
" Japan? For how long? "
" Probably most of the week. "
" Are you sure that's a good idea? You have a very important match this week.. "
{Silence. Gjenrei's response was only a slight head tilt to the left.}
" You're right, silly question. Do you think you'll find what you need? "
{Gjenrei looked out the window a short time, and it was the first time Cable could recall him looking unsure, perhaps forelorn.}
" Usually how it works.. "
" Not so sure this time.. "
{It wasn't a question. If anyone could read the eyes behind the mask, it was Cable.}
" No.. "
" Go then. "
{Gjenrei turned back to Cable and the two stared at one another a long moment, then Gjenrei nodded, turned and left the room.}
-Now-
Flight 77893 to Tokyo, via Los Angeles, last call for boarding.
"Sometimes you don't know what you're going to find until you start looking."
-------------------------------
"Is this the kind of man you want to be Alex? A man who throws his hands up and simply says "why bother?" when faced with any sort of adversity.
I warned you about this from the start.
I told you people wouldn't believe you, because you can't erase infamy, not completely, not ever. Somebody, somewhere will always point at you and say, here's this guy who was an asshole that one time. When you live your life in public as we do, nothing is sacred. And I'm sure there's been plenty of things you've brought up about people that they wish you'd remain quiet about too. It's part of our jobs, though I loathe admitting that.
You think I haven't studied what I could? Learned each and every regret you have and would be more than capable of listing them off in succession? I could do so, without thought or care for your opinions on the matter.
I'm choosing not to, not out of courtesy to you, though I suppose there is a little of that in there, but out of respect for myself, and my inner belief that it doesn't make any bit of difference. Because that's what honor is, doing what your heart tells you is right, regardless of what anyone says.
I stated once that I didn't believe your whole sudden concept of being "the good guy". But I said it wasn't on you to care about what I believed. That your only obligation was to do it if you felt that it was right to you. And then what? You had trials along the way, and even though it looked like at any second you would crack, you stayed true to yourself and what you wanted for your own future.
But destroying locker rooms.. temper tantrums.. throwing it all away simply because a bunch of people didn't believe you? Half of them you've either betrayed or ripped off, and they don't feel like they can believe you.
Asking for trust, right after ripping the carpet of truth out from under someones feet is like dodging rain in a thunderstorm. You can wish and be as sincere as possible, and it still isn't happening. You'd need the time it took for the storm to subside.
But, what do I know? I put a mask on to hide my shame. I gave up my former life and my wicked ways to come here and hide from the pain I caused. Ran until I could no longer see tha faces I tormented in my dreams.
None of that is actually true, but if that's what you believe, then there's really nothing I can do to stop it, now can I? I didn't discard the past, I don't pretend like it doesn't exist, nor do I really care if everybody and their mother mentions it. I continue to move ahead, without any sort of dictation about where others think I should be going.
You want that same kind of serenity? You won't find it in the comforting words of a friend or your wife. You'll find it in knowing that no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles you have to overcome or what pitfalls you lept over, you can look back without regret.
The words of others, even your friends, doesn't matter..
The belt doesn't matter..
The Empire, doesn't matter..
You sell yourself out because someone else told you to.. or to get somewhere..
You'll regret who you are until the day you die.
I can't make that choice for you, and frankly I don't care what you decide. Because I never believed you for a second anyway. But if you want to let that matter to you, have fun.
I won't lose sleep over it.
But you will.."
----------------------------
{The man in the mask stood before the sliding screen that in Japan, passed for a door. He exhaled slowly, trying to shake off the fatigue from the long travel. From Laguardia to LAX to Tokyo, to Okinawa, almost a full days worth of travel, considering layovers and delays, it was after all Typhoon season in Japan. He raised a hand to knock, when the door slid open. A girl, in her early twenties, with long black hair and an eyepatch with a cute little picture of Sailor Moon on it, tried to step out, stopping short when she almost ran into the much taller man standing there.}
*The conversation is in Japanese with subtitles.*
" Oh, my apologies. I did not see... Kurohito? "
" Surprised you can recognize me with the mask on.. "
" I'll.. never forget those eyes.. "
{Miyoko, the woman he mercilessly beat until she was half blind and half dead. The story behind it was long and complex, best saved for another day. She stared into his dark eyes a long moment, her expression mute, then she smiled, and reached a hand up to touch his face.}
" I always knew you'd come back and see me again.. "
{He flinched away from her touch, and his eyes cut away.}
" What's wrong..? Aren't you happy to see me? "
" I am. But.. I don't deserve such kindness.. not from you. "
" You expect me to hate you? I suppose I should after what you did to me.. "
" Yes, you should. "
" But I know the truth, sweet Kuri. "
{Kuri. He'd never been fond of that name when she'd come up with it, using it now just seemed like a knife poised at his chest.}
" Would you like to come in? I was just headed out to eat, but we can order in if you like. "
{He knew he shouldn't. But sometimes knowing what you should do, conflicts with what you want to do.}
" Yes. I'd like that. "
{Excitedly, she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.}
-----------------
"I've heard a thousand times that life is too short to have regrets. People ask if I regret the things I've done to people, and frankly I'm a little tired of explaining things. The problem with having a history of things other people don't consider right or morally righteous, is they don't bother to look beyond their narrow scope. Suddenly you're a monster, and nothing you can say or do will change that. And people wonder why bad things happen to them. When you don't attempt to look outside your own assumptions, you put on blinders to how the world works, and then bad things come as a sudden surprise.
They call me a monster, because I refused regret. I chose to do what I did, when I did it, for reasons they don't care to hear.
They haven't seen a monster yet.
Wait."[/i]
"As I watched the events unfold with Cable and Amber, I started to feel disconnected from myself. This mask, which already had a life of it's own, was starting to feel like a bag over my head, suffocating me. I needed a way to be grounded, a way to remember, but as I looked around I wasn't seeing it as a possibility."
Please make sure you have all your belongings with you when boarding.
"But there always was one place I could go, a place that nobody would ever suspect. Unfortunately, it's quite a trip."
-Few Hours Earlier-
" Japan? For how long? "
" Probably most of the week. "
" Are you sure that's a good idea? You have a very important match this week.. "
{Silence. Gjenrei's response was only a slight head tilt to the left.}
" You're right, silly question. Do you think you'll find what you need? "
{Gjenrei looked out the window a short time, and it was the first time Cable could recall him looking unsure, perhaps forelorn.}
" Usually how it works.. "
" Not so sure this time.. "
{It wasn't a question. If anyone could read the eyes behind the mask, it was Cable.}
" No.. "
" Go then. "
{Gjenrei turned back to Cable and the two stared at one another a long moment, then Gjenrei nodded, turned and left the room.}
-Now-
Flight 77893 to Tokyo, via Los Angeles, last call for boarding.
"Sometimes you don't know what you're going to find until you start looking."
-------------------------------
"Is this the kind of man you want to be Alex? A man who throws his hands up and simply says "why bother?" when faced with any sort of adversity.
I warned you about this from the start.
I told you people wouldn't believe you, because you can't erase infamy, not completely, not ever. Somebody, somewhere will always point at you and say, here's this guy who was an asshole that one time. When you live your life in public as we do, nothing is sacred. And I'm sure there's been plenty of things you've brought up about people that they wish you'd remain quiet about too. It's part of our jobs, though I loathe admitting that.
You think I haven't studied what I could? Learned each and every regret you have and would be more than capable of listing them off in succession? I could do so, without thought or care for your opinions on the matter.
I'm choosing not to, not out of courtesy to you, though I suppose there is a little of that in there, but out of respect for myself, and my inner belief that it doesn't make any bit of difference. Because that's what honor is, doing what your heart tells you is right, regardless of what anyone says.
I stated once that I didn't believe your whole sudden concept of being "the good guy". But I said it wasn't on you to care about what I believed. That your only obligation was to do it if you felt that it was right to you. And then what? You had trials along the way, and even though it looked like at any second you would crack, you stayed true to yourself and what you wanted for your own future.
But destroying locker rooms.. temper tantrums.. throwing it all away simply because a bunch of people didn't believe you? Half of them you've either betrayed or ripped off, and they don't feel like they can believe you.
Asking for trust, right after ripping the carpet of truth out from under someones feet is like dodging rain in a thunderstorm. You can wish and be as sincere as possible, and it still isn't happening. You'd need the time it took for the storm to subside.
But, what do I know? I put a mask on to hide my shame. I gave up my former life and my wicked ways to come here and hide from the pain I caused. Ran until I could no longer see tha faces I tormented in my dreams.
None of that is actually true, but if that's what you believe, then there's really nothing I can do to stop it, now can I? I didn't discard the past, I don't pretend like it doesn't exist, nor do I really care if everybody and their mother mentions it. I continue to move ahead, without any sort of dictation about where others think I should be going.
You want that same kind of serenity? You won't find it in the comforting words of a friend or your wife. You'll find it in knowing that no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles you have to overcome or what pitfalls you lept over, you can look back without regret.
The words of others, even your friends, doesn't matter..
The belt doesn't matter..
The Empire, doesn't matter..
You sell yourself out because someone else told you to.. or to get somewhere..
You'll regret who you are until the day you die.
I can't make that choice for you, and frankly I don't care what you decide. Because I never believed you for a second anyway. But if you want to let that matter to you, have fun.
I won't lose sleep over it.
But you will.."
----------------------------
{The man in the mask stood before the sliding screen that in Japan, passed for a door. He exhaled slowly, trying to shake off the fatigue from the long travel. From Laguardia to LAX to Tokyo, to Okinawa, almost a full days worth of travel, considering layovers and delays, it was after all Typhoon season in Japan. He raised a hand to knock, when the door slid open. A girl, in her early twenties, with long black hair and an eyepatch with a cute little picture of Sailor Moon on it, tried to step out, stopping short when she almost ran into the much taller man standing there.}
*The conversation is in Japanese with subtitles.*
" Oh, my apologies. I did not see... Kurohito? "
" Surprised you can recognize me with the mask on.. "
" I'll.. never forget those eyes.. "
{Miyoko, the woman he mercilessly beat until she was half blind and half dead. The story behind it was long and complex, best saved for another day. She stared into his dark eyes a long moment, her expression mute, then she smiled, and reached a hand up to touch his face.}
" I always knew you'd come back and see me again.. "
{He flinched away from her touch, and his eyes cut away.}
" What's wrong..? Aren't you happy to see me? "
" I am. But.. I don't deserve such kindness.. not from you. "
" You expect me to hate you? I suppose I should after what you did to me.. "
" Yes, you should. "
" But I know the truth, sweet Kuri. "
{Kuri. He'd never been fond of that name when she'd come up with it, using it now just seemed like a knife poised at his chest.}
" Would you like to come in? I was just headed out to eat, but we can order in if you like. "
{He knew he shouldn't. But sometimes knowing what you should do, conflicts with what you want to do.}
" Yes. I'd like that. "
{Excitedly, she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.}
-----------------
"I've heard a thousand times that life is too short to have regrets. People ask if I regret the things I've done to people, and frankly I'm a little tired of explaining things. The problem with having a history of things other people don't consider right or morally righteous, is they don't bother to look beyond their narrow scope. Suddenly you're a monster, and nothing you can say or do will change that. And people wonder why bad things happen to them. When you don't attempt to look outside your own assumptions, you put on blinders to how the world works, and then bad things come as a sudden surprise.
They call me a monster, because I refused regret. I chose to do what I did, when I did it, for reasons they don't care to hear.
They haven't seen a monster yet.
Wait."[/i]
Well howdy there pardner.