Parasite

[Roberto Verona]

Roberto Verona sits on the edge of his desk, a remote control in his hand, as he re-watches the events from Sacrifice on a large television screen in his office. Cross screams in agony as Spike Kane basks in his untimely demise as we can see Verona becoming visibly more angry. Suddenly, the door flings open and Hannah Reed steps into the room with a bundle of papers clasped in her hand, but she soon regrets walking into his wraith. 

Roberto Verona: Are you fucking kidding me!? They martyred somebody on live television? Who they hell authorised this? 

Hannah Reed: Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. Why the hell didn’t you stop it? Do you realise how many lawsuits I’ve received from Christian groups? I think we may have been excommunicated too judging by the letter I got from the Vatican. 

Roberto hits the pause button. 

Roberto Verona: I was locked in my office with Steve Awesome. I am not sure which is worse. 

Hannah Reed: I thought you had him escorted from the property? 

Roberto Verona: I did, somebody let him back in and I was stuck listening to him bitch about parking and some other inane crap about being mistreated. 

Hannah nods before stepping forwards. 

Hannah Reed: So the sexual harassment complaint he made is without merit? 

Roberto Verona: What? Let me see that. 

Hannah passes Roberto the paper. 

Roberto Verona: That son of a… Are you fucking kidding me!? He practically came onto me, after 10 minutes locked in that room he told me he didn’t want to die a virgin and then started crying. 

Hannah Reed: Well, you ought to be grateful I turned up when I did and I am so trusting. A lot of girl would be jealous if they walked in on somebody with Steve Awesome… 

Roberto Verona: Hilarious. 

Hannah Reed: It is a bit, you just don’t see it. 

Roberto grumbles under his breath. 

Roberto Verona: No matter, he will be dealt with this week. 

Hannah Reed: Oh yes, I heard. You two big proud men are going to beat each other senseless in the belief that it will solve your problems. 

Roberto Verona: It’s puts a roof over your head. 

Hannah Reed: Perhaps, but do you honestly believe that simply fighting one another is going to solve anything? Steve will still be a self-pandering imbecile and you’ll still be stubborn, the only upside is one of you may beat the other so much you needn’t cross paths for a few weeks. 

Roberto Verona: Then, what, precisely do you suggest, Einstein? That we bankrupt ourselves flying his fucking cologne across America and paying for what he describes as “essentials” which consist of KY Jelly, copious amounts of vodka and a marble statue erected in his honour? 

Hannah cocks and eye brow. 

Hannah Reed: He asked for those? 

Roberto Verona: Yes, he submitted a claims form. And that was just this week. Last week he demanded we supplied an Indian elephant for his entrance to the ring and capuchin monkey for his “emotional well-being”. He’s an ass. 

Hannah Reed: Well… perhaps that makes him difficult to work with, but you can’t just beat up everybody you disagree with anymore. 

Roberto Verona: Why? It always worked before. You don’t see Boozey McEveryman littering up the place anymore do you? 

Hannah Reed: You weren’t the COO of a professional company before. 

Roberto Verona: Maybe not, but don’t you realise that if I let one self-serving sycophant get everything he wants, then we’ll have every “retired” wrestler come looking for a pay day? Somebody has to make an example of him and Lord knows he won’t debase himself to wrestling anybody whose name isn’t up in lights. If beating him up myself keeps him away from anything that could cause more damage, like heaven forbid a title, then I don’t see the harm. 

Hannah Reed: Perhaps you’re right, it would set a bad example, but what are you going to do about Empire? You can’t just take them on by yourself and they’re hardly pushing hard for the role model of the year award. 

Roberto Verona: I could fire them. 

Hannah Reed: Do you really think that’s wise all things considered? They crucified somebody for just interfering on somebody else’s behalf, imagine what they’d do if you actually pissed them off. 

Roberto Verona: I could fire them out of a cannon. 

Hannah furrows her brows and shakes her head. 

Hannah Reed: You’re being an idiot. 

Roberto Verona: Look, all Spike wants is to massage his own ego and he isn’t making any outrageous demands, until he ceases to be useful we can pander to his whims, if he really gets out of line I will put him back in his place personally. Until then, we may as well milk the crap he’s had flung at us this week and use it to build up some stars. 

Hannah smiles. 

Hannah Reed: Maybe you’re not a complete idiot. 

Roberto Verona: I think I developed temporary stupidity from being exposed to Steve for so long. 

Hannah Reed: Well, we’d better pray for a cure… 

Hannah giggles as she pokes Roberto on the nose playfully. 

Hannah Reed: Let’s get out of here, I think I am done being shouted at by fanatics for the day. 

Roberto Verona: Sounds great, although I think I saw the Westboro Baptist Church forming a picket by our car… 

Hannah rushes forward to the window. 

Hannah Reed: You’ve got be kidding me… 

Hannah peers out into the empty car lot. 

Roberto Verona: Now who’s the idiot? 

Roberto laughs as Hannah pouts before walking over to the door and opening it for her as they prepare for a night away from work and our scene fades to black. 

You’re nothing but a leech, Steve. With you it is entirely take and very rarely give and quite honestly, it’s always been that way, hasn’t it?

Professional wrestling made you into the star you are today, but the moment Hollywood flashes it’s pretty little eyelashes? You’re out of the door faster than your legs can carry you, back to the parties with your B-List friends and the string of utterly nauseating “blockbusters”. You have used, and abused, the profession which made you and time after time, like a battered wife she has taken you back, hoping that you’ve changed.

But you’re rotten to the core.

You live a life where you expect everything for barely little effort and up until this point, you’ve had it handed to you by Uncle Leonard or Auntie Kelly. They saw you for what you were, a marketable name, and they milked you whilst you suckled on the ever willing corporate teat. They will happy to pander to your ridiculous ego to make the once a year pay day they came to expect from you and it was an arrangement that suited you to a ground.

The only reason you and I are going to be sharing a ring this weekend is because you incapable of disconnecting from Narnia and joining us in the real world.

The bloated corpse of professional wrestling you were content to bang and dispense with when it suited your needs has finally woken up and smelt the coffee, and it’s not as fine a blend as it presumes. You have finally realised that you can’t just exploit the cash cow whenever you like anymore, because I simply won’t allow you to.

And boy, that just get’s your back right up.

You’re Steve Awesome, you’re entitled to have everybody bow to your every whim because of the fantastic commercial success you bring with your name and your brand, right?

Wrong.

Leonard Fox may have allowed you to come and go as you please and pretend as though you didn’t abandon the sport that made anybody care about you, but I categorically will not. I admit, I have enjoyed a few liberties at your expense of late but it is all for the greater cause of teaching you that this isn’t a company where you can take what you want and contribute nothing.

If you want to have your face plastered on my merchandise you’re going to damn well earn it first. This isn’t a cash point that will throw money at you whenever you decide to pay a visit, this is a professional company where you work for us and not the other way round.

A lot of the fans, and hell some of the guys in the back, are willing to forgive you for your transgression, Steve. They immediately forget the fact that you use them when you’re feeling a little low and in need of reassurance in the guise of their approval. The moment your music hits they’re on their feet like nothing ever happened and they forget the fact that this is a career you only give a shit about on a part-time basis.

But me? I don’t forget.

For 7 months I carried NCW by myself and when the time came to say goodbye and have one last hurrah you were back in a flash. But where was Steve Awesome when the company really needed it? Sat on his ass, placating his fake little arm candy looking through another God awful script to rape everybody’s eyes with. I mean who can forget that Rom-Com you wasted our time with?

Oh, wait, that was your last title run when you and Rob fought over the two most vacuous and soul destroying women on the planet. My mistake.

When we really needed you, when we could have truly benefitted from you help, you were absolutely nowhere to be seen. Yet when the last ever show cash cow let out a gleeful moo, you were so far up Kelly’s anus you were practically wearing her. Ready to get one last pay cheque out of the company that made you, but far too busy in Hollywood to bother saving it.

And that is a perfect indictment of how you view this business. It is just a temporary gig until something better comes along, and when it does, you’re off, safe in the knowledge that should care enough to lace up some boots some poor bastard somewhere will re-mortgage their home to get you to show up for them.

I am man enough to admit that it makes me sick, Steve.

I worked my ass off to the bone, for this business, and when Kelly wanted to step back I was there to pick up her legacy and make sure that everything we all built didn’t disappear over night. I dedicated my life to improving this company and to ensuring that we all have somewhere to make our names and imprint ourselves in history.

And you just want to waltz back in and make demands.

You don’t care about wrestling and you sure as hell don’t care about the people who made you, every back handed compliment is about as believable as your acting. It’s just something you do when you fancy it, you don’t live for it, you’re biggest concern is that it simply exists to facilitate your ego.

The days where it sang rom the same hymn sheet as you are long since dead, and good riddance. If you want to succeed in IWF, you’re going to work your ass off and prove that you’re in it for the right reasons and if you don’t? I’ll continue to torture you and be a permanent pain in your ass and do everything in my power to destroy “Brand Awesome”.

I am sick and tired of hearing what you think you’re entitled to, the truth is all you’re entitled to is my foot up your ass and my knee through your cranium. This weekend, I’ll make sure you get them both with a cherry on top.

If you want to really prove that you’re here for the right reasons, Steve, consider this your one opportunity to do so because believe me, there simply will be another. You wanted a big name fight to sooth your fragile ego? You’ve got the best this company has to offer without the possibility for a belt. I am as big a name as you can dream of and as talented your worst nightmares will confirm.

I hold power in this business in my hand, just like I always promised I would and I you want to continue to be a part of it I suggest that you prove to me why you deserve a moment of my time and that you are the right sort of man to represent this company at it’s very upper echelons.

The Face of the Franchise is not a moniker that is accurate to your current position in life, if you desire to reach those lofty heights again I expect to see that your heart is in this. Win or lose, if all I see is the same self-absorbed parasite I’ve witnessed for years, I will beat you to within an inch of your life and permanently erase your name from people’s memories.

It’s time you woke up and realised that professional wrestling doesn’t need Steve Awesome and when you realise that nobody gives a shit about you in the land of the silver screen, you’ll see just what sort of debt you owe this business for making you who you are.

It is your choice whether you acknowledge that or simply continue to try to cash in on it.

I strongly advise that if you wish to have a future in this profession that you choose the former, and not the latter. It’s time to find some humility before I am forced to beat it into you this weekend. It’s your move of the dice, make sure it is the right one.

Or I will make sure that this is the last time anybody see’s you inside a wrestling ring.

I promise.