Post by Warren Kane on Mar 27, 2016 14:41:41 GMT
Nothing is ever easy in this life is it?
I mean let's face it, nobody gets anything without working harder than they ever thought was possible. I grew up in London accepting the fact that this oaf who slapped my mom around was my dad. I was terrified of him, when he raised his hands to my mom, I would freeze. She needed me, and there was nothing I could do to save her, do you have any idea how disgusted in myself that makes me feel?
Do you know what it feels like for your own mother to call for help, and you just can’t?
It makes it all worse when you find out that he wasn’t even your father in the first place. That, that was like a kick in the gonads. This asshole beat on my mom, and me….for what? Some sort of confidence boost? Because he was a fucking bully? The day I hit back….I’d never been so proud of myself, and ashamed at the same time.
Why did it take me so long?
Why didn’t I do it sooner?
See, fear….it has this powerful grip over people. It can prevent people from doing the very things needed to save themselves. Certain people use that to their advantage, people like the man I thought was my father, and then of course….that horrible realisation that the man who IS my father?
Is exactly the same.
People like my dad, people like Spike, people like Verona. They think they can run this place on fear, they think that they can keep people down, because they won’t revolt out of fear. Fear of violence, fear of losing their jobs…..what have you. The thing is, I’ve learned from personal experience, you can only live in fear for so long….because after a while? You get pushed….and pushed…
And like a rubber band.
You snap back.
~~~
I mean let's face it, nobody gets anything without working harder than they ever thought was possible. I grew up in London accepting the fact that this oaf who slapped my mom around was my dad. I was terrified of him, when he raised his hands to my mom, I would freeze. She needed me, and there was nothing I could do to save her, do you have any idea how disgusted in myself that makes me feel?
Do you know what it feels like for your own mother to call for help, and you just can’t?
It makes it all worse when you find out that he wasn’t even your father in the first place. That, that was like a kick in the gonads. This asshole beat on my mom, and me….for what? Some sort of confidence boost? Because he was a fucking bully? The day I hit back….I’d never been so proud of myself, and ashamed at the same time.
Why did it take me so long?
Why didn’t I do it sooner?
See, fear….it has this powerful grip over people. It can prevent people from doing the very things needed to save themselves. Certain people use that to their advantage, people like the man I thought was my father, and then of course….that horrible realisation that the man who IS my father?
Is exactly the same.
People like my dad, people like Spike, people like Verona. They think they can run this place on fear, they think that they can keep people down, because they won’t revolt out of fear. Fear of violence, fear of losing their jobs…..what have you. The thing is, I’ve learned from personal experience, you can only live in fear for so long….because after a while? You get pushed….and pushed…
And like a rubber band.
You snap back.
~~~
The problem with being told you're special by so many people, is that you start to believe it….
The words on the cell phone screen are dripping with venom. Warren Kane sits on the same hotel bed that we last saw him. He hasn’t changed, still wearing the same clothes. His eyes are red and bloodshot, probably from a mixture of crying and anger. He doesn’t look good, his hair is a mess, he hasn’t shaved in a few days.
First Spike, then Judas, then me. It went to your head.
The message sits on the screen, almost daring Warren to argue with it, but he doesn’t. He knows the words are true, even if they are spoken out of bitterness. He’d do anything to change it, but he knows he can’t. The truth is there for all to see, his career has been on display since day one, as has his personal life.
I thought you were different, but you’re just like him.
Tears begin welling up again in the corners of his eyes. He wants to reply to Oliver, to stop this tirade of messages, but he can’t. Some part of him believes that he deserves this, that it is all his fault. Everything is on him.
Because of you I’ve lost everything. You’ve ended my career, just like you ended Andrew Jacobsens….
The words are spiteful, designed to evoke a reaction from Warren and they are. They’re hitting him like body blows, and he just doesn’t know how to react to them. He can’t bring himself to defend anything, let alone himself. Everything that he has done has led to this, whether he meant to or not.
The road to hell was paved with good intentions….[i/]
Just finish it already, that is all he can think. End the pain.
I know you think you’re doing right, but you don’t think about the people caught in your mess….
No. No he didn’t, and he knows that. He’s just like his old man, he put his fame and fortune in front of anything. What else was he supposed to do? He didn’t have anything else, he came from nothing, and he’d be damned if he went back to nothing.
I love you, but I can’t forgive you. I’m sorry.
The last words bring out a short and sharp bellow from Warren. The emotion building finally let out as the tirade seems to be over. He wished he had the courage to pick up the phone and call Ollie, he wished he’d chased him out of the hotel, but what was done was done, and now he had to live with it. He had to live without Ollie.
Warren: I’m sorry…..I’m so sorry…
He’ a broken man, but defiant still. He knows who is to blame for this really, he knows who has been pushing buttons and pulling strings. Two people out to ruin his life…..maybe it’s time he ruined theirs? Or would that make him just as bad as them? He picks his phone up….swiping out of the messages and calling a phone number. After a while the person answers.
Person: Hello?
Warren: ….Mom?
He tries to fight his tears as he speaks to his mother on the phone.
Person: Warren, honey….do you know what time it is? I...you haven’t spoken to me since you found out about Michael…
Warren: ...Mom….I just….I really need someone to talk to, please?
Person: Of course! Honey, what is wrong!? What’s happened!?
He flops back onto his bed, as if a wave of tension has been released from his shoulders now that he has someone to talk to, and on the scene of a son bearing his soul to his mother, we fade.
~~~
How do you function when your heart has been ripped out?
I mean, how are you supposed to go on and continue your day to day routine? Every single thing you do reminds you of that person, everything you did together, even the things that just….smell like them. It’s like a constant pain in your gut, something wrenches whenever the thought of them is brought up. It’s raw, it’s still bleeding in fact, the pain won’t go away….so I do the only thing I know how to do.
It’s in this moment I realise I’m just like my old man.
The only thing I have is my work, my job, my career. He has made sure of that. I’m sure it’s all part of some twisted plan he has to try and make me tougher, to try and make me more of a hard ass like him. The thing is, I’ll never forgive him. The things he’s done to me? Sure, I can get past it, I’m a bigger man than most….but what he did to Ollie? That was bang out of order, and I’ll never let him forget it. As far as I’m concerned he painted a fucking target on his back for the roulette, and I’m going to do my best to throw him out. To make sure that he doesn’t get to live his dream of being a two time Imperial Champion. Hell, even if I have to eliminate myself in the process….I’m taking him out.
But I know it would hurt him more if I won.
I need to win this.
I need to win this to make everything I’ve done to this moment worthwhile. To make what happened to Ollie mean something. If I fail, it was all for naught. If I fall at the final hurdle then how can I ever expect to win Ollie back? I need to step out of the roulette as the winner, show Spike how wrong he is, prove to Ollie that I’m fighting a battle worthwhile…..then I’ll take on Verona, I’ll topple him from his mountain top and prove to the world that there is a reason to stand against tyranny. That sometimes, the little guy can make a difference, make a change.
And I’ll win Ollie back.
I’ll break Verona if I have to. I’ll make him rehire Ollie, give him another chance, hell I’ll make him rehire Andrew Jacobsen too. It’s too much to have on my conscience if I fail. I need to go out there and show the world that I want it more, that I need it more, and that I earned it more. I’m not playing around anymore. This isn’t fun and games, it is, for lack of a better choice of words, life or death. A piece of me has been ripped apart, and they only way I can get that piece back is proving that it was all worth it. I’ll bury my head in my work just like my old man. I’ll sacrifice a piece of my soul just to earn that love back. To have the Undead Army behind me all the way, fighting for what is right, fighting for the chance to be the guy, and right all the wrongs that have been done ever since that fateful night at Survival of the Fittest.
I need to win.
I need to atone for my sins.
My gameplan hasn’t changed. I’m going into the roulette with the intent to win. Don’t trust anybody, something Rob taught me very early on in my career. I’ll have his back, sure, but I know I’ll have one eye on him too, because I know he wants this just as bad as I do. Either way, InFamous is going into the roulette strong, and I’ll be damned if one of us isn’t the one to toppled Verona from his glass castle.
I have nothing to lose now. Nobody to lose….
You made me even more dangerous than I was before.
Because now?
I NEED THIS.
How do you function when your heart has been ripped out?
I mean, how are you supposed to go on and continue your day to day routine? Every single thing you do reminds you of that person, everything you did together, even the things that just….smell like them. It’s like a constant pain in your gut, something wrenches whenever the thought of them is brought up. It’s raw, it’s still bleeding in fact, the pain won’t go away….so I do the only thing I know how to do.
It’s in this moment I realise I’m just like my old man.
The only thing I have is my work, my job, my career. He has made sure of that. I’m sure it’s all part of some twisted plan he has to try and make me tougher, to try and make me more of a hard ass like him. The thing is, I’ll never forgive him. The things he’s done to me? Sure, I can get past it, I’m a bigger man than most….but what he did to Ollie? That was bang out of order, and I’ll never let him forget it. As far as I’m concerned he painted a fucking target on his back for the roulette, and I’m going to do my best to throw him out. To make sure that he doesn’t get to live his dream of being a two time Imperial Champion. Hell, even if I have to eliminate myself in the process….I’m taking him out.
But I know it would hurt him more if I won.
I need to win this.
I need to win this to make everything I’ve done to this moment worthwhile. To make what happened to Ollie mean something. If I fail, it was all for naught. If I fall at the final hurdle then how can I ever expect to win Ollie back? I need to step out of the roulette as the winner, show Spike how wrong he is, prove to Ollie that I’m fighting a battle worthwhile…..then I’ll take on Verona, I’ll topple him from his mountain top and prove to the world that there is a reason to stand against tyranny. That sometimes, the little guy can make a difference, make a change.
And I’ll win Ollie back.
I’ll break Verona if I have to. I’ll make him rehire Ollie, give him another chance, hell I’ll make him rehire Andrew Jacobsen too. It’s too much to have on my conscience if I fail. I need to go out there and show the world that I want it more, that I need it more, and that I earned it more. I’m not playing around anymore. This isn’t fun and games, it is, for lack of a better choice of words, life or death. A piece of me has been ripped apart, and they only way I can get that piece back is proving that it was all worth it. I’ll bury my head in my work just like my old man. I’ll sacrifice a piece of my soul just to earn that love back. To have the Undead Army behind me all the way, fighting for what is right, fighting for the chance to be the guy, and right all the wrongs that have been done ever since that fateful night at Survival of the Fittest.
I need to win.
I need to atone for my sins.
My gameplan hasn’t changed. I’m going into the roulette with the intent to win. Don’t trust anybody, something Rob taught me very early on in my career. I’ll have his back, sure, but I know I’ll have one eye on him too, because I know he wants this just as bad as I do. Either way, InFamous is going into the roulette strong, and I’ll be damned if one of us isn’t the one to toppled Verona from his glass castle.
I have nothing to lose now. Nobody to lose….
You made me even more dangerous than I was before.
Because now?
I NEED THIS.
Well howdy there pardner.