Go Play?

[Jessica Reed]

{ Our scenes opens with the repetitive and rhythmic sound of fists slapping into a punching bag inside the personal gymnasium of Roberto Verona. The lights hum gently in between each blow as we soon discover that it is none other than Jessica Reed who is driving his fists into the bag as Roberto does his best to hold it from swinging on the other side. Jess skips from side to side, landing blow after blow as Verona begins to wince with each impact. }

Roberto Verona: You know, you really should pace yourself.

{ Jess throws a few more fists into the bag. }

Jessica Reed: Why? Are your arms hurting?

{ Verona laughs. }

Roberto Verona: Don’t push it. You’re already in ring shape, Jess, you don’t need to go overboard.

{ Jess shakes her head. }

Jessica Reed: I have something to prove.

{ Roberto cocks his head quizzically. }

Roberto Verona: To who?

{ Jess remains silent for a moment, landing a few more blows to the bag before suddenly stopping, rest a hand against it as she bends over to catch her breath. A few moments pass as Verona looks down at her. }

Jessica Reed: Myself.

Roberto Verona: You’re not still worrying are you? It was only one match, we all lose eventually. Even me, but don’t tell anybody else I admitted that.

{ Jess shakes her head. }

Jessica Reed: No, it’s not about losing and whether it’ll drive me back away again. It’s about proving to myself that if I keep applying myself as hard as I can, as much as I can, that I can still give my best every time I go out there. Whether it’s on a house show or television. That I won’t let things phase me.

{ Verona nods. }

Roberto Verona: I see you picked a fight with Amber Richards.

Jessica Reed: I wouldn’t say I picked a fight, I replied to a tweet…

Roberto Verona: Be that as it may, Amber isn’t just any other opponent for you. Are you sure you’re ready to face that?

{ Jess pauses briefly as she lifts herself back up, looking Roberto in the eyes as she nods slowly. }

Jessica Reed: I’m sure, it’s why I answered her challenge. I need to prove to myself that I aren’t going to let things rattle me anymore, what better way to come back from a defeat to face the woman who is responsible for the permanent scar on my scalp?

Roberto Verona: Just as long as it isn’t about revenge… although I’m not sure you’re actually capable of holding enough resentment to motivate you to get revenge on any one.

{ Jess laughs and slaps Roberto on the shoulder. }

Jessica Reed: Are you calling me a push over?

Roberto Verona: I couldn’t possibly comment.

{ Verona smiles wryly as Jess grabs a bottle of water from the apron of the nearby wrestling ring, taking a generous gulp. }

Jessica Reed: I need to test myself, not only is Amber a good wrestler, there’s emotions I’m pretty sure I’ve worked through involved here. I need to make sure I’m not just kidding myself, if I can get in the ring with her and just do my thing, I’ll know I’m over it.

Roberto Verona: What about Crystal? Where does she figure into this personal crusade?

Jessica Reed: She’s another test, I’ve not just got my eyes on Amber if that is what you’re worried about.

Roberto Verona: Me, worried, never.

{ The pair smiles at one another. }

Roberto Verona: Just… promise me you won’t go overboard. You don’t need to pound the gym to disrepair to get yourself ready for this week. You’ve got to relax as well, when was the last time you played on your video games?

Jessica Reed: My video games? How old are you? 70?

Roberto Verona: Don’t push your luck.

{ Jess shrugs. }

Jessica Reed: I’ve not really had the time lately, what with the house shows, the press appearances…

Roberto Verona: Then considered your next set cancelled.

Jessica Reed: Why?

Roberto Verona: Because part of being true to yourself, Jess, and applying yourself is to learn when to let your hair down. How much time do you think I spend in here?

Jessica Reed: Are you telling me sitting in your office answering phone calls and doing paperwork is you letting your hair down? You know I was only calling you boring as a joke…

{ Verona tosses a towel at Jess. }

Roberto Verona: What I do in my spare time is none of your concern, my point is you can’t just get lost into pushing your body to the limit if you don’t work on honing your mind too. You have to take time to relax and do things you enjoy, you never let this job get in the way of that before, so why start doing it now?

Jessica Reed: I guess I lost track of time.

Roberto Verona: Then listen to your boss, tonight you get your ass on that sofa, put whatever crap it is you play in your machine and lose yourself for a few hours. I’ll even order you a pizza.

Jessica Reed: Since when did you become so charitable?

Roberto Verona: Since you spent a good hour trying to dislocate my shoulder.

{ Jess begins to wipe her head before tossing the towel over her shoulder and picking up her gym bag. }

Jessica Reed: If you insist, but I want another session before this Monday.

Roberto Verona: I’ll ice my shoulder in preparation. Now go.

{ Jess raises her hand and turns to walk away from Roberto who watches as she exits the gym as our scene begins to fade to black. }

I guess it’s appropriate to address the elephant in the room.

Congratulations, Paige.

I always said that I would be woman enough to hold my hands up and admit that you were the better woman on the night if you could emerge victorious and, as my Diamonds Are Forever hoodoo continued, I will stand by my pledge.

You deserve to be the IWF Diamond’s champion and you deserve to be only the second woman to pin me in the middle of that ring.

Well done.

Which I guess makes this weekend extra poignant, you could even perhaps describe it as coming full circle. In the wake of only my second disappointment I must now face down my first, the architect of my downfall.

Amber Richards, the woman who was complicit in costing my months of my career.

Suffice to say, as much as I respect you as a competitor, Amber, my memories of our contests are, regrettably, tinged with negativity for me. Losing is one thing, we all do eventually and granted my loss column is sparser than most, but losing my career and my mind are quite another thing. Granted, there’s only one person to blame for my mental decline, but you were intimately involved in inflicting the physical injury that set me along that broken path to recovery.

So forgive me for forgetting to mail you a Christmas Card.

Yet, whilst the journey you set me on undoubtedly has changed me, I get a sneaking suspicion that despite all the trials and tribulations you’ve been through, you’re still the same old Amber you always were.

Everything that has come out of your mouth thus far since your return would indicate that my assumption is correct.

You’ve always adapted to whoever you were facing on a week to week basis, flip flopping between charming admirer to embittered and superior, you only need to look at how you’ve behaved recently, proclaiming the entire division to be beneath you, only to back track the moment you got left laying flat on your tushy.

I’m not sure we’ll ever truly know who the real Amber Richard is.

Week after week we see another face, another mask hiding the true woman from the world behind the character she decides to play on a weekly basis. You may protest, I wouldn’t even begin to predict which Amber I’ll see this week, but I know a thing or two about pretending to be somebody I’m not to mask whatever pain I’m feeling.

Heck, I made a career out of it!

I have always spoken from the hearts in these “promos” and stuck to who I am at the core, but we both know there’s plenty of times I’ve gotten lost inside my own head and hidden my pain behind my fantasies, granted only I know the real depth but the point remains. I can see when somebody is hiding something behind multiple personalities and it’s always been clear that it’s a defence mechanism of some sort.

Either that, or you’re just not as confident in what you’re saying as you like to project.

You speak with clarity, albeit changing your tone on a weekly basis, but I have to wonder, do you even believe what you’re saying? You were adamant that the entire Diamond’s Division has suffered in your absence, you were absolutely fundamentally confident in your superiority, only to have it shaken to the sore the moment one of your inferiors stepped up and disproved you.

Do you truly believe you’re better than everybody, or is that a front? Are you honestly as humble and respectful as you like to portray in the face of potential failure or is that to lure people into a false sense of security?

You’re an enigma, Amber.

One that I fully admit I will never solve, but one thing I do know for sure is that you’re one hell of a wrestler. You and me have gone toe to toe enough times inside that ring for me to appreciate your talents, when I accepted your challenge this week I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. I chose this to truly challenge myself, I could so easily have continued to just appear at house shows and picked easier opportunities.

But that has never been my style.

Perhaps part of me is hoping to vanquish any demons and self-doubt that has grown since Paige left me laying flat on my back with my championship held aloft high in the air by going back to the author of my first defeat, I am ready to admit that, but deep down, I know that you can provide me the test I truly need.

Yet, it would be foolish of me to completely ignore the second factor in this match.

Somebody else who I am more than familiar with, Crystal Millar.

As much as I maybe be able to claim that Amber is trapped in a constant cycle of swapping her opinion, it would be fair to say that you, Crystal, have always been the Queen of reinvention. I’ve personally lost count of how many times you’ve changed who you are, and I’m not just talking about surnames, in an attempt to restart your career.

The worst part is you’ve always seemed to cling to others to achieve you most notable successes.

You might consider that an unfair observation, and particularly cruel considering it is coming from me, but let me be clear, I’m not saying these things to hurt you, Crystal. Far from it, I realise that I am only as strong as the women who share the locker room with me, believe it or not I’d like to see everybody achieve their potential, even if it ends up being at my expense.

Yet, you’ve constantly squandered yours.

For every success you’ve enjoyed, it’s often been short lived, leading to you losing faith in yourself, disappearing in a cloud of occasional appearances before reappearing reinvigorated with some new passion and new personality. The truth is though, Crystal, if you ever want to relive those glory days you’re going to need to learn how to handle defeat.

Perhaps that sounds rich coming from considering I hardly have much experience with losing, but it’s true.

I could have hidden after Paige took the title from me, but here I am, putting myself back out there against two women who, for all your flaws, have more than enough skill and talent inside that ring to put me away to earn themselves a victory. Darn, I’m not silly enough to not realise that if you both wanted to you have plenty of guile in your lockers to cause me a large amount of pain.

Yet, I’ve not shirked from the challenge.

And I’ve not changed who I am despite my recent failures. I am still here to inspire young women and do my best to be a good role model to all the young girls with a dream, I am still determined to always put on a show and do everything I can to make the Diamond’s division the absolute best it can possibly be.

I haven’t allowed set back to shake my confidence in what it is I strive for every time I lace up my boots.

Too often, Crystal, you’ve allowed the result of your matches on a week to week basis determine your motivation, a few losses and you withdraw, only to reappear a month of two later, starting over from scratch and undoing all the hard work you already invested in yourself. You’ll never succeed of be everything you can be if you continue to cling to the coat tails of other successful women to feed on their scraps.

All you’re doing is a disservice to yourself.

I know others will mock you, they’ll call you past it, they’ll call you a has been or perhaps even a has-never-been but believe it or not I respect you for paving the way for women like me and Amber to have our platform here in IWF to achieve all of the success we have. People may run you down, Crystal, but you were always at the forefront of women’s wrestling in NCW, perhaps your contribution was small than the Zelda Knite’s but without women like you…

There’d be no IWF Diamond’s division.

Which is why I meant what I said, I’m not mocking you or belittling your achievements, far from it, I’m telling you that if you truly want to succeed and do your own legacy justice, it’s time you decided what kind of woman you want to be and stuck to your guns, no matter the result. It’s time you stopped changing and giving up over and over, it’s gotten you nowhere other than right back to square one.

You’re better than this, Crystal.

Yet, only you can make that change, ultimately our ability to succeed has to come from within ourselves. People always ask me how I’ve achieved everything I have, and I’ve always replied, “by believing in myself.”

I’ve had my trials and my tribulations, sometimes all too often advertised for the whole world to see by IWF.

But I’ve never given up on being somebody all the young girls around the world can look up to, somebody they can see pursuing their dreams and seeing that no matter how hard things may be right now, it doesn’t mean they can’t change their lots in lives and accomplish everything they want in life, no matter how impossible it seems.

I have no idea what either of you will say, but none of it really matters to me.

I won’t allow myself to be shaped by other people or things as changeable as my form inside the ring. I am going to go out there this week and do everything I can to walk out victorious or at least put on the best performance I can in defeat.

Win or lose, I know who I am.

Can either of you, truly, say the same?

Let’s find out. See you both out there.