Post by Mike Laszlo on Feb 20, 2017 4:55:17 GMT
The IWF Backdrop was behind me and I had my arms crossed with a smile on my face.
Well what do we have here?
A couple entertainers, that’s what. I know you people don’t always “get it” but do you mind if I tell you why Steve and I were smiling at the end of our little altercation last week? Well, at least why I was smiling?
BECAUSE I WAS HAVING FUN!
I know, I know, that’s illegal right? I’m not supposed to have fun. I’m supposed to show up to work, bust my ass, and put on a performance for the thousands of people in an arena at any given time.
Oops, there I go being unconventional again.
I throw my hands in the air, unable to believe what I had done.
Did you enjoy yourselves? Did you like seeing me and Steve display our competitive desires for you? Did you appreciate the fact that we were willing to beat the shit out of each other for your enjoyment!?
GOOD!
My hands go to my hips.
So now this week, the powers that be, as smart as they are, have decided, “Well, these two beat the crap out of each other last week...how about we team them up this week and put them up against the biggest group of dumbasses, other than the House of Howlett we can find.
I throw my hands forward toward said group.
THE UNION OF JOBBERS!
Let’s break this big team down shall we? First, there’s Solomon Kahn, a big dumb shit with two left feet and the brain the size of a peanut. Then there’s Gibberg. A man who borders on gimmick infringement based on his name alone, and probably stalks Gib, just waiting for his sweaty jockstrap to come flying out a window, just so he can squeeze the ball sweat into a bowl of Wheaties.
I shutter at the thought.
Thunder Sid...might as well put a cardboard cutout in the ring because that’s about the same thing. Then, there’s Gable Arcade, a man who was probably pulled out of a local gym, just so Roberto Verona could screw with the champion of ducking challenges himself, Cable Arcane.
I rub my head, feigning a headache, not fully being able to imagine how exactly I got myself into this mess.
I just don’t get it. I don’t understand how stupid this collection of morons booking matches can really be. What the hell is the point in this? Are they hoping that Steve and I can finally kill these guys off and rid them of their contracts? Are they hoping Steve and I will hug it out in the end?
I shake my head.
Not going to happen.
I point to the ground in front of me.
I’ll tell you what’s going to happen, plain and simple. We’re going to walk down that ramp and get in that ring. We’re going to have fun, this time beating the crap out of these worthless pieces of shit, and who knows, we might even play a game in the middle of the match and toy with these idiots. Then we’re going to put them out of their misery and win the match, and then it gets back to something a little more serious...you and me Steve.
Neither one of us figured out who the better man was last week, and instead, took our frustrations out on the worthless security guards. So when this little get together with the Union of Stupidity is over...you and me, one more time, Danger Zone...and then...the fun and games will truly come to an end.
==================================
Title: GREAT! GRAND! WONDERFUL!
Location: Sacrifice, Cajundome, Layfayette, Louisiana
Time: 10:35 PM Local Time
I was walking through the curtains during the commercial break, Alexis by my side. It was then that Riley Gordon stepped in front of me.
Mike Laszlo: Whoa there...trying to get run over?
Riley Gordon: I have a message from the board of directors.
Mike Laszlo: Oh? Am I getting fined for kicking that security guard in the face? I really don’t care because that felt good inside.
Alexis snickers as Riley doesn’t look too amused.
Riley Gordon: No, that’s not what this is about. That was in the heat of the moment, and the board has taken a bit of sympathy on the situation, though after those remarks...they may reconsider. No, this is about you and Steve.
My interest was peaker.
Mike Laszlo: What about me and Steve? We went out there tonight and tore the arena down.
She nodded.
Riley Gordon: You did, and perhaps that’s why the board would like to see it again...at Danger Zone.
I nodded from side to side. It didn’t bother me to be having a match against someone of Steve’s caliber.
Mike Laszlo: Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you later.
I go to walk past her, but she grabs me by the wrist.
Riley Gordon: I’m not done.
I turn back toward her, looking down at my wrist, and then up at her. Alexis then steps in front of her.
Alexis Caffrey: You might want to take your hands off my husband.
Riley Gordon: And you might want to remember who you’re talking to. Now back off.
Alexis looks enraged, now snarling before stepping back a few steps. She absolutely hates it when people play the power card with her. Riley releases her grip and turns her attention to me.
Riley Gordon: As I was saying before you tried to walk away. That match is at Danger Zone...you two have a match next week as well.
Mike Laszlo: What is this? A best of series?
Riley Gordon: No. Next week, you two will team together against the Union of Jobbers.
I sighed, clearly annoyed at the decision.
Mike Laszlo: Are you kidding me!?
I point toward the curtain.
Mike Laszlo: We just spent the better part of fifteen minutes out there beating the crap out of each other, and now you want us to TEAM UP!?
Riley Gordon: That’s exactly what we want Mr. Laszlo. You two are entertaining when in the same area together whether you’re beating each other up, or someone else. Consider this a chance for the two of you to bond with one another.
Mike Laszlo: This is ridiculous...you’re ridiculous, this whole company is run by ridiculous people.
I spin in frustration, eventually turning back toward her.
Mike Laszlo: ARE WE DONE!?
She nodded.
Mike Laszlo: GREAT! GRAND! WONDERFUL!
I grab a water bottle from catering and whip it down the hallway at a group of stage workers who scurry out of the way as the scene fades.
Well what do we have here?
A couple entertainers, that’s what. I know you people don’t always “get it” but do you mind if I tell you why Steve and I were smiling at the end of our little altercation last week? Well, at least why I was smiling?
BECAUSE I WAS HAVING FUN!
I know, I know, that’s illegal right? I’m not supposed to have fun. I’m supposed to show up to work, bust my ass, and put on a performance for the thousands of people in an arena at any given time.
Oops, there I go being unconventional again.
I throw my hands in the air, unable to believe what I had done.
Did you enjoy yourselves? Did you like seeing me and Steve display our competitive desires for you? Did you appreciate the fact that we were willing to beat the shit out of each other for your enjoyment!?
GOOD!
My hands go to my hips.
So now this week, the powers that be, as smart as they are, have decided, “Well, these two beat the crap out of each other last week...how about we team them up this week and put them up against the biggest group of dumbasses, other than the House of Howlett we can find.
I throw my hands forward toward said group.
THE UNION OF JOBBERS!
Let’s break this big team down shall we? First, there’s Solomon Kahn, a big dumb shit with two left feet and the brain the size of a peanut. Then there’s Gibberg. A man who borders on gimmick infringement based on his name alone, and probably stalks Gib, just waiting for his sweaty jockstrap to come flying out a window, just so he can squeeze the ball sweat into a bowl of Wheaties.
I shutter at the thought.
Thunder Sid...might as well put a cardboard cutout in the ring because that’s about the same thing. Then, there’s Gable Arcade, a man who was probably pulled out of a local gym, just so Roberto Verona could screw with the champion of ducking challenges himself, Cable Arcane.
I rub my head, feigning a headache, not fully being able to imagine how exactly I got myself into this mess.
I just don’t get it. I don’t understand how stupid this collection of morons booking matches can really be. What the hell is the point in this? Are they hoping that Steve and I can finally kill these guys off and rid them of their contracts? Are they hoping Steve and I will hug it out in the end?
I shake my head.
Not going to happen.
I point to the ground in front of me.
I’ll tell you what’s going to happen, plain and simple. We’re going to walk down that ramp and get in that ring. We’re going to have fun, this time beating the crap out of these worthless pieces of shit, and who knows, we might even play a game in the middle of the match and toy with these idiots. Then we’re going to put them out of their misery and win the match, and then it gets back to something a little more serious...you and me Steve.
Neither one of us figured out who the better man was last week, and instead, took our frustrations out on the worthless security guards. So when this little get together with the Union of Stupidity is over...you and me, one more time, Danger Zone...and then...the fun and games will truly come to an end.
==================================
Title: GREAT! GRAND! WONDERFUL!
Location: Sacrifice, Cajundome, Layfayette, Louisiana
Time: 10:35 PM Local Time
I was walking through the curtains during the commercial break, Alexis by my side. It was then that Riley Gordon stepped in front of me.
Mike Laszlo: Whoa there...trying to get run over?
Riley Gordon: I have a message from the board of directors.
Mike Laszlo: Oh? Am I getting fined for kicking that security guard in the face? I really don’t care because that felt good inside.
Alexis snickers as Riley doesn’t look too amused.
Riley Gordon: No, that’s not what this is about. That was in the heat of the moment, and the board has taken a bit of sympathy on the situation, though after those remarks...they may reconsider. No, this is about you and Steve.
My interest was peaker.
Mike Laszlo: What about me and Steve? We went out there tonight and tore the arena down.
She nodded.
Riley Gordon: You did, and perhaps that’s why the board would like to see it again...at Danger Zone.
I nodded from side to side. It didn’t bother me to be having a match against someone of Steve’s caliber.
Mike Laszlo: Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you later.
I go to walk past her, but she grabs me by the wrist.
Riley Gordon: I’m not done.
I turn back toward her, looking down at my wrist, and then up at her. Alexis then steps in front of her.
Alexis Caffrey: You might want to take your hands off my husband.
Riley Gordon: And you might want to remember who you’re talking to. Now back off.
Alexis looks enraged, now snarling before stepping back a few steps. She absolutely hates it when people play the power card with her. Riley releases her grip and turns her attention to me.
Riley Gordon: As I was saying before you tried to walk away. That match is at Danger Zone...you two have a match next week as well.
Mike Laszlo: What is this? A best of series?
Riley Gordon: No. Next week, you two will team together against the Union of Jobbers.
I sighed, clearly annoyed at the decision.
Mike Laszlo: Are you kidding me!?
I point toward the curtain.
Mike Laszlo: We just spent the better part of fifteen minutes out there beating the crap out of each other, and now you want us to TEAM UP!?
Riley Gordon: That’s exactly what we want Mr. Laszlo. You two are entertaining when in the same area together whether you’re beating each other up, or someone else. Consider this a chance for the two of you to bond with one another.
Mike Laszlo: This is ridiculous...you’re ridiculous, this whole company is run by ridiculous people.
I spin in frustration, eventually turning back toward her.
Mike Laszlo: ARE WE DONE!?
She nodded.
Mike Laszlo: GREAT! GRAND! WONDERFUL!
I grab a water bottle from catering and whip it down the hallway at a group of stage workers who scurry out of the way as the scene fades.
Well howdy there pardner.