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Post by Jess Fowler on Jun 26, 2019 1:45:50 GMT
Bloody Assizes 2019 June 23rd 2019 Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum Phoenix, Arizona
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SEGMENT:Pre-Show------------------------------------{the camera pans through the crowd while “ME!” by Taylor Swift fet Brendon Urie, the official song of Bloody Assizes, catching some signs in the stadium “Extreme #1 contender”, “Fight Gabi Fight” “Zelda a Ho” “#uridean” “Gilmore deserves it” “Probably a Kane” “I want to be the next Ex-Mrs. Awesome” “Where is Dean Harper?” “The House Always Wins!”}
Rachel Grimes: Hello and welcome to 2019 Bloody Assizes pre-show. I’m Rachel Grimes, and I’m happy to be back here in Phoenix. Leading up to tonight has been incredible. But before we start, I want to start by wishing Tyler Jacobs the best on his future endeavors and say all in IWF will miss him.
{There is a moment of silence before Rachel nods her head.}
Rachel Grimes: But moving on, with me tonight is Elaine Laskaris!
{The Camera pans over to Elaine is a ‘Last Rites’ T-Shirt.}
Elaine Laskaris: Greetings.
Rachel Grimes: Are you excited about tonight’s main event Elaine?
Elaine Laskaris: Like you would not believe, Rachel. Si, this even is where we gave birth to the Luchadora title and here we celebrate its first year with more blood shed!
Rachel Grimes: …Right, well… And our special guests for this roundtable…
{Camera pans over to show Rowan sitting there with her mask on and Eternity, clad in all black, the weight of the World on her shoulders as she sits on the other side of Rachel.}
Rowan: {Slowly tilts her head towards the camera.}
Eternity: Hiiiiiiii!
{Eternity offers an enthusiastic royal wave to the camera before blowing a kiss to the audience.}
Rachel Grimes: Well, it’s certainly a change having you two here. The two women’s champions who do not get the…glory of defending their titles tonight because of Last Rites. How do you feel about that?
Eternity: There is no defence against Death, no, never. Though they do try, yes, they do try. Try as they might, nineteen women howl at the Moon Angel, nein jugendlich , not any more...and so she watches the unknown with quiet pride, waiting for her to come home with...the lunatics...
Rowan: It gives me ample opportunity to study.
Eternity: Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones. Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones. Dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones, dem dry bones...lovely, lovely voice Miss Jenkins said, here have a gold star. Gee thanks, Miss Jenkins, Mommy will be so proud of the lessons I’ve learned today. If only everything could be taught through the beautiful song of snapping bone. It’s a hard lesson but one we needed to learn, didn’t we?
Rachel Grimes: Right, Yeah, that makes a level of sense…
Elaine Laskaris: So we have the preshow match with The time traveler vs teddy steele. I’m shocked that he is even still employed. Anyone else surprised?
Rachel Grimes: You can’t say that.
Elaine Laskaris: You don’t sign my checks.
Eternity: Checks and balances, checks and balances. Far too many concern themselves with checks and balances. Live free Rachel, live and let Elaine live...for who knows how long she has left, how long any of us have left...
Rowan: There is a risk. Always.
Rachel Grimes: Uhhh… Well, Who do we think will win.
Rowan: It does not matter.
Elaine Laskaris: Si, this is not important.
Rachel Grimes: Next up we have Zelda Knite vs Mandi Matthews. Thoughts?
Elaine Laskaris: Mandi. There is nothing more fearful then an angry wife going after the puta that stole her man.
Rachel Grimes: Allegedly.
Rowan: They are doing nothing but wasting their strength for the war at the end of the night. It is petty. It is childish.
Eternity: Cheaters never prosper, did you Lorik? No, you bastard! That’ll teach you to break my heart, like Mandi’s heart, Astrid’s skull or Emma’s arm. Yes she too was broken once, but we fix each other in ways nobody else understands...
{ Rachel nods }
Rachel Grimes: Alright, the number one contender’s match for Strongstyle. Thoughts?
Elaine Laskaris: It could go either way. Elijah and Nighthawk areon very similar footing.
Rachel Grimes: I agree. Nighthawk is doing well for himself. Elijah is newer but has certainly showed himself as worthy of the title.
Eternity: The Hawk flies into the ever spinning windmill blade once more. Squawk, splat. Blood spilled more than once, if he has any left. Twice, thrice the fall unnecessary...all unnecessary...
Rowan: Elijah. Nighthawk fails. It is his way.
Elaine Laskaris: Extreme Title match? Am I alone in thinking this is a waste of everyone’s time?
Rachel Grimes: Elaine!
Elaine Laskaris: What? We all know who will win.
Eternity: Awesomely mediocre, such a sad waste of life Steve is...content to while away his hours as champion as if they were as infinite as he is foolish...
Rachel Grimes: you think so?
Rowan: It bores me.
Elaine Laskaris: Why am I agreeing with El Diablo?
Rachel Grimes: uh….Here’s to Vasco and Terri at the ring! ------------------------------------ PRESHOW MATCH Captain Thaddeus Isambard Bancroft v Teddy Steele
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Alison Valance: The following Pre-show match is scheduled for one fall!
Terri Morasco: Here we are, the second match of Thaddeus returning to the ring. Are you excited to see him back? {Teddy Steele is already standing in the ring bouncing on his feet, ready to fight.}
Vasco Dias: Of course I am! Can you really look at the things Captain Thadeus
Terri Morasco: I…I don’t think anyone is going to get that joke Vasco. Vasco Dias: Google it. Alison Valance: And next to the ring, Captain Thaddeus Isambard Bancroft!
{ The Lights black out as the Imperial Aquila Lights up on the tron, the choir starting to sing their brief introduction, before the music starts proper and Thaddeus rises from the stage, surrounded by smoke a single spot light on him and Harriet. The commissar’s Cap tipped low and wearing the medals that denote his station, umbrella under one arm, pausing to walk up the ropes to pass his coat, cap and Umbrella to Harriet and climb into the ring even as the lights raise }
Terri Morasco: He looks good.
Vasco Dias: Keep your thirst under control, Terri.
{Thaddeus smirks and gestures towards Teddy Steele. The bell rings, and Thaddeus hits Teddy with a Elementary!}
Terri Morasco: that’s…that’s quick.
{Thaddeus puts his boot on Teddy’s chest. The ref drops and counts 1 2 3!!!}
Vasco Dias: Whelp.
Terri Morasco: Super quick.
Vasco Dias: ... Back to the pre-show!
------------------------------------ SEGMENT Preshow Panel------------------------------------ {the camera pans back to the preshow table.}
Rachel Grimes: Well, that was an exciting match, wasn’t it?
Elaine Laskaris: I might not like him. But I do like his work.
Rowan: Shall we continue?
Eternity: {*in British accent*} Of course, I want to bloody continue! Never had much of a choice, have I? Daft bint! Bloody continue, bloody assizes!
Rachel Grimes: Right, well the next match to cover is the six man tag match.
Rowan: Caleb is in this match. I believe he will be the deciding factor in this match.
Rachel Grimes: Is it hard to not be able to be there at your old faction’s side?
{Rowan turns and looks at Rachel with unblinking contempt.}
Rowan: Repeat that question?
Rachel Grimes: Uhhh… Eternity? Eternity how do you feel about this match.
Eternity: Aye, Aye, Cap’n {*salutes*} I see no ships, only a sexy Italian, American, King, all wasted tragically before the fall...
Elaine Laskaris: Verona signs my checks. I do want to keep my job.
Rachel Grimes: Mercenary, Elaine.
Eternity: Heeheehee, which cheeks does he sign, Elaine? Where do I sign?
Elaine Laskaris: Now the best match of the night. The biggest event of the summer. Last Rites!
Rachel Grimes: I admit I am excited about seeing this match. Every women beyond you two are facing in it.
Elaine Laskaris: Bloodshed! Chaos! Women making the scene as they have always needed to make!
Eternity: Hardcore! Hell! Heaven! She lives whilst the rest die, leaving her behind as they always do...in pain, beyond suffering, beyond hope...
Rachel Grimes: I think things are looking good for Gabi. She has been wanting this title since it appeared in this company. She is driven. You have to admit she deserves this title more than anyone else.
Rowan: Who wins does not concern me. I wish to see how much everyone attempts to prove themselves.
Eternity: By a hair, dye her hair. Pretty pink Persephone, pretty as she ever was, though nobody else could ever see what she meant to me. So it is that we remember her, stood alone against the world, as much today as she has ever been before or ever will be after....
Rachel Grimes: Elaine?
Elaine Laskaris: We all win, Grimes. We all win.
Rachel Grimes: uh….well, that’s the end of the preshow. See you next month!
------------------------------------SINGLES MATCHZelda Knite vs Mandi Matthews------------------------------------Alison Valance: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!Vasco Dias: This situation has seemed never ending. It’s been all over social media and neither women has really talked about anything else. Can Steve Awesome really be worth all this effort?Terri Morasco: I hope this is the end of this messy business so both women can focus on their careers.Alison Valance: first down to the ring, Mandi Matthews!{Umbrella by All Time Low starts rocking the speakers as Mandi Matthews steps out onto the stage, a bit overwhelmed in a good way by all the people and there warm reception. She jams a bit to the music and then she jogs down to the ring as the chorus plays.}Because when the sun shines we'll shine togetherTold you I'll be here foreverSaid I'll always be your friendTook an oath I'ma stick it out 'til the end {She slides into the ring and jams out the song with the crowd as they chant along.}Now that it's raining more than everKnow that we'll still have each otherYou can stand under my umbrellaYou can stand under my umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ayUnder my umbrella-ella-ella-ay-ay-ay {The music slowly fades as Mandi smiles at the crowd.}Vasco Dias: Mandi is finally medically cleared and ready to throw down with Zelda. She has to be wanting to get this as behind her.Terri Morasco: One would assume.Alison Valance: Next to the ring, Zelda Knite!{“smells like Teen spirit" by one ok Rock plays and Zelda walks out to a chorus of boos. She is about half way downt to the ring before pausing, shaking her head and heading to the back.}Terri Morasco: You’ve got to be kidding me!Vasco Dias: And we continue to get blue balled over this…{Mandi looks at the ref who rings the bell and starts counting, Mandi bounces on her feet as Zelda continues to lazily walk back up the ramp. The crowd is overbearing in how loud the boos are.}Alison Valance: And you’re winner due to count out… Mandi Matthews!{Mandi barely waits a moment after the announcement before charging after Zelda who bolts from her. The camera follows as the two women brawl in the back, its clear Mandi has the upper hand before security takes them apart. Zelda is clearly upset.}Zelda Knite: she was trying to kill me! I want her fired! I want her arrested! I want her held accountable!{Security seems to pause, unsure on what to do next before a member of management walks over, sipping an iced coffee.}Jess Fowler: your concern is noted. Escort Ms. Knite from the building. We have other things to be concerned with at the moment.{Zelda looks offended but security seems to pick her up and carry her off.}Ed: Are you allowed to talk to talent like that?------------------------------------ IWF STRONG STYLE NUMBER ONE CONTENDER’S MATCH 2 OUT OF 3 FALLS Winner receives a Strong Style Championship opportunity at Lineage Nighthawk vs Elijah Lassiter
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Alison Valance: “This next contest is scheduled for the best 2-out-of-3 falls and is a #1 contenders match for the IWF Strong Style Championship.”
{The Beat of ‘don’t get in my way’ starts to ring around the arena a spotlight focusing on the entryway as Elijah stalks out to drop to one knee and touch the floor with one hand and bouncing up to this feet as the song kicks in proper walking around the ring a hand touching the canvas before he hops up, wipes his feet and vaults the top rope to land in the middle in a crouch standing up to kiss his wrist and salute the crowd.}
Alison Valance: “Introducing first, weighing in at 225 pounds, from San Francisco, California…. Elijah Lassiter!”
{As the opening strains of "I Remember (The Honor In Her Efforts Intro)" by Tristam boom out over the sound system Nighthawk walks calmly to the ring with his wife Sin by his side in a blue-and-white kimono. As they kiss passionately at the top of the ramp, the crowd's adoration increasing in volume, they both let out a war cry before walking down to the ring carefully as blue, white, and orange strobe lights go off behind them before Nighthawk enters the ring by leaping over the top rope and then going to a neutral corner as the referee checks him for foreign objects. }
Alison Valance: “His opponent, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing in at 185 pounds…. ‘The American Samurai’…. ‘The Wrestling Machine’ Nighthawk!”
Terri Morasco: “And two weeks after a wonderful match between these two men, they resume combat with becoming the #1 contender for the Strong Style Championship on the line. Do you expect the result to be the same, Vasco?”
Vasco Dias: “Honestly, Terri, yes. For all of his skill, and everything he gave of himself in that last match, you’d have to assume Elijah Lassiter has more left. Nighthawk pulled 98% of himself out. Does he have enough left to do what he did last week, and find the key to victory where he couldn’t two weeks ago?”
{As the referee checks both men to start the bout and then rings the bell for the 1st fall as both men shake hands respectfully, locking up just a beat after that. Pushing against each other until they find themselves in the ropes Nighthawk and Elijah agree to a clean break before the referee can even get in there to do it himself, both men smiling at each other as the competitive respect between both men clearly still strong as Nighthawk takes a moment to glance at the red-and-black arm sleeve that Elijah has brought to the ring. Going back to the middle of the ring Nighthawk again goes for a collar-and-elbow lockup only for Elijah to use his power advantage to bull him into the ropes, forcing a break of the hold which he gives as the Chicagoan raises an eyebrow over the strength he just dealt with. Taking a deep breath as he is clearly thinking of what he wants to do next with this new information in front of him Nighthawk goes back to the lockup and then moves to go for a flash armdrag only to be caught mid-attempt and whipped into the ropes by Elijah Lassiter who goes for a flash crossbody, only to see that rolled through right into a kimura lock as Elijah frantically scrambles for the ropes. Getting to the ropes on the count of 4, rolling to the floor to shake out his arm, Elijah nods his head in appreciation as he tightens up the sleeve on his arm while Nighthawk removes the rubberband keeping his hair tied up. Smiling as female members of the crowd shriek in approval Elijah rolls back into the ring, shaking out his arm as he does so. Going back to the lockup Elijah goes for a headlock only to see Nighthawk armdrag himself out of it, before hitting a tilt-a-whirl armdrag followed by a wraparound one and then goes for a springboard armdrag which sends Elijah to the floor as the “Wrestling Machine” stays in the ring. Rolling back into the ring at 6, nodding his head at the speed his opponent just showed, Elijah goes for another collar-and-elbow lockup and pops off a gorgeous ankle pick before running the ropes and going for a standing shooting star press only to be caught in a triangle armbar which Elijah rolls through into a prawn hold that both gets a 2-count and convinces Nighthawk to let go of the hold. Coming up to his feet quickly Elijah hits a satellite headscissors that sends Nighthawk to the floor before running to the ropes as if going for a bullet tope only to backflip into the middle of the ring and beckon the “American Samurai” to come back in.}
Terri Morasco: “And both men are on top of their game in this 1st fall, Vasco. Is there anything you’re noticing that should be a concern, Vasco?”
Vasco Dias: “Yes, Terri, I am. It’s the pace. I don’t expect Elijah to know how to pace himself for a match like this. But if Nighthawk’s idea is to gas Elijah out by keeping the pace breakneck through all three falls, I think that might be a dangerous thing to try.”
{Stepping back into the ring carefully, removing a stray thread of wrist tape as he does so, Nighthawk goes for a collar-and-elbow lockup and then executes a perfect standing switch right into a standing surfboard as he continues to stay on the arm before hitting an inside ankle trip and flipping into an inverted crucifix pin that gets a long 2-count. Taking a moment to glance at the referee who informs him that it was in fact just a two-count Nighthawk turns around right into a tight small package from Elijah which he is able to reverse into a three-count to win the 1st fall.}
{Almost as soon as the referee rings the bell Nighthawk tries to go to win the 2nd fall with a flash hurricanrana only to see Elijah roll through into a modified Liger Bomb that gets a three-count and ties the bout up at 1 fall a piece.}
(As soon as the bell rings to start the 3rd fall Nighthawk goes for another small package which Elijah reverses as the referee counts three.}
Alison Valance: “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 3rd fall, and your new No. 1 contender….. Elijah Lassiter!”
------------------------------------ IWF EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT MATCH Steve Awesome(c) vs Gibberg vs Wolf Folder
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{ Some generic heavy metal tune plays as we find Gibberg and Wolf Folder standing in the ring, ready for their oppoent to arrive. }
[DING-DING-DING!!!]
Alison Valance: The following is a triple-threat attraction, scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IWF Extreme Championship! In the ring are the challengers...GIBBERG and WOLF FOLDER!!!
Terri Morasco: There’s been a lot of controversy of late regarding Steve Awesome’s actions and whether or not these two men standing in the ring have any business competing for one of IWF’s championships!
{ We hear the loud sound of Vasco Dias munching on some popcorn from a giant tub he had purchased in the concession stand. }
Terri Morasco: VASCO!! We have a match to call!
Vasco Dias: (with his mouth full) Lemme know when it’s over…
Terri Morasco: (sigh) I’d rather have James Gilmore as my broadcast partner than you…
{All the lights in the arena die out and the fans in attendance start chanting his name.}
"AWE-SOME! AWE-SOME! AWE-SOME!"
{Dramatic Pause.}
"REGRETS I'VE HAD MINE!"
{The lights in the arena explode to life as they flash green and black to the beat as Steve Awesome comes running out with intensity to the hyped up chorus of "Full of Regrets" by Danko Jones.}
Lonely nights/ and a whole lot of wasted time! If you see her wont you tell her for me/ It's better this way to avoid all the misery
{The chorus plays again as Steve walks down to the ring. The guitar starts soloing and Steve hops into the ring and he provocatively slips off his jacket and then spins and drops into a kneel and he flexes his arms. He gets a slow motion effect as pyro sprays behind him.}
Alison Valance: Their opponent, from Detroit, Michigan and weighing 238 pounds, he is the IWF Extreme Champion...STEVE AWESOME!!!
{ To a somewhat mixed reaction of cheers and boos, Steve walks down to ringside and pulls up a chair. Meanwhile in the ring, Gibberg and Wolf Folder start trading punches as the man in stripes calls for the bell! }
[DING-DING-DING!!!]
{ As Steve sits on the outside, clutching onto his Extreme title with a smug look on his kisser, Folder and Gibberg trade armdrag takedowns until the latter takes the early momentum. He sends Gibberg into the ropes before hitting a pair of dropkicks followed up by a scoop slam and a knee drop. He goes for the pin and only gets a quick two-count as Awesome watches, cackling with glee. }
Vasco Dias: Steve Awesome’s on the outside, doing the smart thing and letting his two opponents beat the crap outta each other!
Terri Morasco: This is beneath the Extreme Championship…
{ Gibberg counters a Wolf Folder right hand with a swift kick to the conspiracy theorist’s balls! Folder barely has time to clutch his family jewels as Gibberg goes on the offensive, showing off his power with a scoop slam of his own, followed up by a pair of vertical suplexes and a dropkick to boot! Folder staggers to the corner as Gibberg goes to the fists, laying down rights and lefts as he tries to cover up and deflect the blows. Gibberg then proceeds to nail his victim with a short-arm, decapitating clothesline that only gets a two-count. Finally, Steve Awesome--after watching his two challengers trade blows back and forth--decides that they’ve had just about enough playtime with each other and hops into the ring, bringing both of their heads together! }
Vasco Dias: Double noggin knocker! This is gonna be fun!!
Terri Morasco: Can we AT LEAST have a competitive match…!?!
{ But before Steve can do anything else we see Billie Paris, Adel Travent, Ducky Tomlinson, Mr. Happy, Solomon Khan and Thunrder Sid storm the ring and huge brawl breaks out between the newest batch of IWF wrestlers and the old guard known as the Union of Jobbers! }
Vasco Dias: What the hell is going on!?
Terri Morasco: I have no idea!?
{ Steve manages to break free from the mayhem and gets out of the ring collecting the Sextreme Championship on his way up the ramp. But his exit is interrupted when a masked face appears on the Imperitron! }
Lord Dominicus: The IWF universe is finite!
{ Lord Dominicus booms in the arena as everyone in the ring stops fighting and Steve just looks up at the masked monster who is undefeated. }
Lord Dominicus: It's resources finite! The IWF universe is off balance! Wrestlers going to bed hungry. Scrounging for scraps. Your universe is on the brink! But I will make it a paradise again. Once I have the Extreme Championship I will bring balance...
{ Lord Dominicus holds up his right hand. }
Lord Dominicus: With a snap of my fingers.
{ He snaps his fingers and the whole shot goes white for a moment before we return to Steve Awesome who looks totally confused. }
Vasco Dias: What in the?
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CAPTAIN’S FALL SIX MAN TORNADO TAG TEAM MATCH Victory can only be achieved via pinfall or submission over the opposing team’s designated captain (*)*Ethan King, Andrew Jacobsen & Caleb Lockwood vs Being Infamous (*Rob Diamond, James Gilmore) & Roberto Verona ------------------------------------{ The lights in the arena all go out at "King of the World" by Porcelain and the Tramps begins to blare out of the PA system. Spotlights begin to scan the crowd before fixating on a figure at the top of the stage which is revealed to be Roberto Verona, his head bowed towards the floor. As cheers being to resonate around the arena Verona raises his head and he begins a slow methodical march down the ramp, the spotlight following him as golden pyro rains down from above on the stage. Verona stares with disgust at the crowd who cheer him as he approaches the ring, but he doesn't react to them. As he reaches the steps he slowly ascends them before walking towards the middle of the ring apron, turning around to look into the crowd one last time before looking up and closing his eyes as he stretches his arms out wide and basks in the adulation. After indulging himself Verona climbs into the ring, psyching himself up as he awaits the beginning of the match. }
{ The lights in the arena start strobe pink when George Thorogood’s Bad to the Bone Goes hits the loud speakers. Rob Diamond comes strutting out through the curtain and does a little spin on his heels before coming to a stop. James Gilmore comes jogging out behind him with his hands up and stands besides Rob. } Alison Valance: On his way to the ring, weighing in at two hundred and five pounds, he is the BLOOD SOAKED CINDERELLA OF PRO WRESTLING!!! ROB DIAMOND!!!! And his tag team partner… LIL BEAR JAMES GILMORE!!!! THEY ARE BEING INFAMOUS!!!! { Rob looks out into the crowd with a shit eating grin on his face before marching down toward the ring with Gilmore besides him. He runs up the steps and hops right into the ring doing another little spin before running up to the ropes, putting one foot on the second rope and throwing up the metal horns nodding his head as James runs into the ring and hops up next to Rob. Rob spins off the ropes and falls back into one of the corners of the ring, kicking up his legs to rest on the second rope and looks quite relaxed as James bobs from side to side loosening up. } Terri Morasco: I’ve got to say I never thought I’d see the day where Roberto Verona, Rob Diamond and James Gilmore were all on the same side of the ring. Vasco Dias: It’s a pretty strange sight. Terri Morasco: We saw them come together during the battle against the Pack but apparently Roberto is an honorary member of Being InFamous now? Vasco Dias: That’s what I heard but I’m not sure having the boss in your corner can help against the A-Listers featuring Caleb Lockwood. Terri Morasco: The A-Listers? Vasco Dias: That’s what I’m calling Ethan and Andrew. Terri Morasco: Solid name. {The opening riff of "Unbreakable" plays, sending the crowd into a frenzy, and as the drums kick in Andrew Jacobsen comes striding out onto the ramp, Danielle Chase a step behind him. He takes a few steps forward, looking to either side with a wide grin on his face. Andrew looks dead ahead at the ring, cracking his neck, and throws his arms out and head back as a burst of red and green pyro goes off to either side of him. Andrew and Danielle walk down the ramp, Andrew high-fiving fans as he goes, and he pulls himself up onto the apron, looking around at the fans with an infectious grin on his face. He climbs through the second rope and walks to a corner, checking his gloves and talking with Danielle as he waits for the match to start.}
{A roaring scream pierces the air, and as the crunching guitars of "Rise, Rebel, Resist" play Caleb Lockwood stalks out onto the stage, eyes fixed on the ring as he licks his lips idly. He stalks down to the ring, hands clenching and unclenching as his eyes shift back and forth to scan the crowd. As he approaches the ring, Caleb slides into the ring, rolling to the side and coming up in a crouch. His eyes never stop moving as he backs into the corner of the ring, cracking each of his joints in turn and waiting for the match to start.}
{The crowd grow silent as the lights go out, monks chanting can be heard, as the chanting gets louder the stage area starts to fill with smoke. Suddenly, and abruptly as the drums and guitars kick in a pyro explodes around the stage.}
“BROTHERS! MY BROTHERS! Is this all what we are? SISTERS! MY SISTERS! We’ve been crushed by the fists of GOD!!!” {On the word God another pyro explodes either side of the rampway as ETHAN KING appears through the smoke, to a growing roar of boos from the crowd. He stands with his arms outstretched, fists balled up soaking in the reaction from the crowd. After a few seconds he simply heads right to the ring, rolling under the bottom rope and standing right in the center of the ring, extending his arms once more, before the lights fade to normal and the music fades. And Rob Diamond is literally being held back by Roberto and James}Terri Morasco: Is Ethan- Vasco Dias: Wearing Spike Kane’s old ring gear!? YES HE IS!!!! Terri Morasco: That sick son of a bitch!!! Vasco Dias: Rob wanted to play mind games, Ethan just took it up a whole other level. { Rob is seething on the outside as his friends hold him back. Andrew simply shakes his head as Ethan soaks in the boos from the crowd. Caleb quietly chuckles at the obscenity. }Terri Morasco: I hope Rob rips his freaking head off! Vasco Dias: Aren’t you supposed to be unbiased? Terri Morasco: Not when Ethan King is desecrating the memory of Spike Kane! Vasco Dias: Maybe he’s honoring him? Terri Morasco: I don’t freaking think so. { Ethan tells his partners he will start and so does Rob. The referee, Blue Shoes, calls for the bell and Rob explodes out of his corner but Ethan quickly tags Caleb and powders out of the ring under the bottom rope as Rob slams into the ropes full steam. Caleb slingshots into the ring with a forearm shot on the distracted Rob Diamond! }Vasco Dias: Looks like the mind game worked! Terri Morasco: Ethan is dirty, rotten piece of monkey crap! Vasco Dias: {*Chuckles*}{ Caleb unleashes some muay thai strikes on Rob Diamond and throws him into the corner where Ethan starts screaming in his ear “ALL BLOODY HAIL!” Caleb takes a hold of Rob and spins him around for a Russian leg sweep dumping Rob’s face into the middle turnbuckle. Caleb tags Andrew and steps out onto the apron but launches himself back in with a slingshot sento before rolling out of the ring! }Vasco Dias: Caleb looking like a real star tonight! Terri Morasco: He got the drop on Rob off a distraction! Vasco Dias: If Rob is so easily distracted then maybe he shouldn’t be vying for the world title!? Terri Morasco: And maybe the world champion should have some class!? { Andrew pulls Rob up and hits a nasty European uppercut that spins Rob around and Andrew grabs him for Triple German suplexs! On the third one he dumps Rob directly on the back of his head. }Vasco Dias: A real dissection of Rob Diamond by his three opponents. Terri Morasco: I can’t believe you’re acting like this is at all fair! Vasco Dias: Name me a rule Ethan has broken and I will tell Blue Shoes to dq him! Terri Morasco: Human goddamn decency! Vasco Dias: That’s not a rule! { Jacobsen pulls Rob up off the mat and goes to throw him into the ropes but Rob grabs the ropes and stops himself from bouncing off. Andrew charges and Rob tucks the shoulder and back drops Jacobsen over the top rope but Andrew lands on his feet ont he apron only for Roberto Verona to connect with THE SILENCER!!! Sending Andrew down to the arena floor. Rob tags in Verona now to a big pop. }Terri Morasco: Ever the opportunist! Vasco Dias: Oh so what Roberto did was fine!? He wasn’t even the legal man! Terri Morasco: I’m fine with anything that leads to Ethan losing! { Roberto hops down to the floor and pulls Andrew up to his feet. Roberto says “Remember me!” And then connects with the Brainwasher DDT on the arena floor! The fans pop huge as Verona pulls Jacobsen back up and throws him into the ring. }Vasco Dias: Verona is looking better than ever! Terri Morasco: I agree but remember, you can only win this match by pinning or submitting the captain which is either Rob or Ethan! Vasco: Verona is just reminding Andrew who he is before drawing Ethan back into the match! { Verona pulls Andrew up but Jacobsen breaks away and cracks Roberto with a superkick! Roberto is stunned and Andrew tags in Ethan now. Ethan and Andrew connect with a double Final Tilt on Verona! Ethan makes a mock cover with his boot and Rob has had enough as he runs in and starts to unload on King! }Vasco Dias: DQ HIM! Terri Morasco: They’re allowed one break up or something! Vasco Dias: That is a blatant disregard for the sacred rules of tag team wrestling!!! { James rushes in and pulls Rob off as Blue Shoes threatens to DQ him. Ethan laughs as he stands up and throws the two bird salute at Rob. Ethan turns back to Verona who is starting to stand and kicks him in the gut then connects with THUNDERSTRUCK!!! Rob is livid on the outside as Ethan laughs maniacally. }Terri Morasco: He’s using Spike’s moves now!? Vasco Dias: He is the puppet master. Terri Morasco: He is a living, breathing piece of human *censored*! { Ethan pulls Roberto up and looks for the Spike Impaler but Rob charges in again much to the dismay of James Gilmore, Ethan drops Roberto and quickly rolls out of the ring before Rob can catch him. Diamond pulls Verona up and has him tag in James, the fresh man. }Terri Morasco: I can’t believe this. Vasco Dias: It’s poetry in motion. { Ethan rolls back in but quickly tags Caleb as James comes at him. Caleb hops in and looks for a forearm shot but James ducks it and gets behind Caleb for a nasty release German suplex right into the turnbuckles. Andrew leans in and tags himself in off Caleb. Andrew comes in and locks up with James. The two men struggle but Andrew takes the back of James and goes for his own German suplex. James lands on his feet and grabs Andrew for a German suplex, Andrew lands on his feet. Andrew grabs James for a German suplex and James lands on his feet once more. This time Gilmore goes for the SHELLSHOCKER AND CONNECTS!!! }Terri Morasco: What a great series of reversals! Vasco Dias: These two men are very familiar with each other but again, they need to pin or submit a captain. Terri Morasco: Well if Ethan would stay in the ring for more than ten seconds! Vasco Dias: He doesn’t have to. It’s called strategy. { James brings Andrew up to his feet but Jacobsen hits a big European upper cut and then connects with the Borealis suplex! Andrew covers and James kicks out at one. Andrew pulls James up and goes for a superkick, James ducks it and then grabs Andrew for an arm drag takedown! Andrew is able to roll through back to his feet and kicks James square in the gut before hitting him with the Cold Snap! }Terri Morasco: These two are just trading blows back and forth! Vasco Dias: It shows you how far James has come this last year. Terri Morasco: An odd compliment for you. Vasco Dias: He still sucks. { Jacobsen makes the tag to Caleb and Lockwood comes in hot with a leaping leg lariat as James tries to stand. Lockwood pulls him up to his feet again and unleashes more of his muay thai offense before capping it off with Fading Hope! Caleb pulls James up and throws him into the corner and says “I want Verona!” Roberto happily obliges and tags himself in. }Vasco Dias: Looks like Caleb wants a piece of the man who ended the Pack! Terri Morasco: He’s going to get a whole lot more than a piece! { Roberto comes in and Caleb comes right at him looking for flying forearm but Roberto gets under him and connects with the Silencer to the back of the head! Caleb staggers and Verona grabs him but Caleb hits a back elbow shot and comes of the second rope with a springboard Beast of War!!! Roberto is staggered and Caleb superkicks him in the knee then hits a leg lariat on the kneeling Verona! }Vasco Dias: Caleb more than holding his own against Roberto Verona! Terri Morasco: He’s massively impressive tonight! { Caleb looks set to deliver the killing blow but Verona avoids the Curb Stomp and connects with another Silencer on Caleb! Roberto then grabs Caleb and hits the Fallen Idol power bomb! Roberto pulls Caleb up and throws him to his partners and tells Ethan “GET IN HERE!” Ethan laughs as he makes the tag. }Terri Morasco: Roberto wants a piece of the World Champion! Vasco Dias: Who doesn’t!? Terri Morasco: I know one person who does, Rob Diamond. Vasco Dias: He’s going to have to wait his turn! { Ethan steps into the ring and he and Verona circle each other. The two men lock up in the center of the ring but Ethan manages to over power Verona and backs him into a corner. Verona pushes Ethan off but King comes right back with the Bloody Sunday kick!!! }Terri Morasco: Another of Spike Kane’s signature moves! Vasco Dias: Everyone else is playing checkers while Ethan is playing chess! { Rob is literally dying to get into the ring now. Ethan takes notice and asks “You want a tag!?” Rob screams “FUCK YES!” Ethan pulls Verona up and tosses him into the corner where Rob makes the tag. }Terri Morasco: Here we go! { Rob charges in but Ethan drops down and rolls out of the ring again. Rob gives chase as Blue Shoes watches from inside the ring. Ethan rolls back into the ring and yells something to Andrew and Caleb who immediately hop in and charge across the ring to attack Roberto and James! Rob rolls in, Blue Shoes is trying to break up the brawl and Ethan cracks Rob in the face with the Brazen Equalizer brass knuckle shot! }Terri Morasco: NO!!!!! { Rob stumbles and Ethan kicks him in the gut then hits him with THUNDERSTRUCK!!! Rob Diamond is down and Ethan makes the cover yelling at Blue Shoes” COUNT! Blue Shoes turns away from the fight as Andrew and Caleb hold James and Roberto back and we hear palm slap mat for ONE! TWO! THREE!!!! }Alison Valance: Here are your winners… Caleb Lockwood! Andrew Jacobsen! And the IWF World Champion! ETHAN KING!!!! Terri Morasco: I hate him. Vasco Dias: He’s not here to win popularity contests. He’s here to be champion. Terri Morasco: I hope he chokes on his filet mignon. { Roberto and James go to check on Rob who is bleeding. Andrew looks around and notices the discarded brass knuckles and looks extremely disappointed. Caleb looks smugly at Roberto Verona as Blue Shoes goes to raise the victors hands. }Terri Morasco: Ethan King cheated to win this match. Vasco Dias: Ethan King did what was needed to win this match. Thats why he’s a champion. Terri Morasco: There’s going to be hell to pay. { Andrew is trying to talk to Ethan about the brass knuckles but the world champion plays innocent and says “They’re not mine.” The three winners stand in the ring as King’s music plays while Roberto and James help a bleeding Rob Diamond to the back. }------------------------------------ IWF LUCHADORA CHAMPIONSHIP Last Rites Match 20 Women Invitational Extreme Rules Elimination Battle Royale Available Women’s Roster vs Gabriela Luna (c)
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{The camera pans across the stage to where Elaine Laskaris is standing, a huge grin on her face as the crowd roars their approval, knowing what’s to come. Elaine raises the microphone, teasing the crowd, who cheer in anticipation, and milks the reaction a little before snapping the microphone up and addressing the crowd.}
Elaine Laskaris: LADIIIIIIIIES AAAAAAND GENTLEMEEEEEEEN! WELCOME… to LAST! RITES! The following contest is a TWENTY WOMAN BATTLE ROYALE for the IWF LUCHADORAAAAAA CHAAAAAAAMPIONSHIIIIIP! After the match begins with our first two competitors, a new woman will enter the ring EVERY SIXTY SECONDS! Finally, each woman is free to use any weapon their heart desires. Only pinfall or submission eliminations INSIDE THE RING count for this match. Once there is only one women left in this ring the match will be over, and we will have our UNDISPUTED! LUCHADORA! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAMPIOOOOOOON!
Terri Morasco: Last year, we saw a bloody confrontation at Last Rites that ended with Alexis Caffrey as our first-ever Luchadora Champion. This year, Gabriela Luna has the task of defending that title against nineteen other women.
Vasco Dias: Tallest hill for the shortest woman. It’s a cruel irony of life, Terri.
Terri Morasco: She can and will gut you, Vasco. I hope you know that. {The relentless opening chords of "Vortex" by Los Savants crash out as Gabriela Luna dashes out onto the stage, throwing her fist into the air to the cheers of the crowd, Luchadora Title over her shoulder. She shouts at the crowd, beckoning them on with her hands, and grins widely at them before turning to face Elaine Laskaris, slapping the center plate of the belt with a vicious smile. Gabriela turns and charges down the ramp, reckless grin on her face.} Elaine Laskaris: Introducing first, YOOOOOUR CHAMPION! FRRRRROM GUADALAJARA, JALISCO, MEXICO, WEIGHING IN AT 105 POUNDS, SHE IS YOUR REIGNING! DE-FENDING! I! W! F! LUCHA! DORA! CHAAAAAAAMPION! GABRIELAAAAAAAAAAAA LUUUUUUUUNAAAAAAAAA! Terri Morasco: Listen to this ovation for Gabriela Luna! She has one hell of a match ahead of her, and she’s going to need to keep this kind of energy up if she wants to come out ahead! Vasco Dias: Surviving from number one to the end? That’s a tall order, and— Terri Morasco: Don’t. Say it. Vasco Dias: I was going to say that even a Hall of Famer would be hard-pressed to accomplish that! Always assuming the worst! {Gabriela leaps and slides feet-first under the bottom rope, rolling to a crouch with a grin on her face. She stands, walking to the middle of the ring, and paces back and forth in the center for a moment before dropping back to a knee and pounding her fist into the mat as pyro erupts from the ringposts. She leaps back up to her feet, popping her hood back with a shout, and runs over to the nearest corner, hopping onto the second turnbuckle and further beckoning the crowd on before dropping down into a crouch and waiting for the match to start.} Elaine Laskaris: And entering at NUMBER TWO! {Lights dim as the opening riffs to Shoot to Thrill hit, and flashes of white light begin to pulse along with the music as it picks up pace. The stage fills with dry ice as Dawn steps out from backstage, smiling manically and rocking out to the music. She points to the crowd and tries to get them pumped up.} Elaine Laskaris: Frrrrrrrrom Salem, Massachusetts, weighing in at 125 pounds, she is the IRON MAIDEN! A FORMER IWF LUCHADORA CHAMPION! DAAAAAAAAWN HAAAAALLIWEEEEELL! Terri Morasco: As Elaine noted, this match is a chance for Dawn to reclaim the title she lost to Charity Crowne last year. She’s got just as much difficulty ahead of her as Gabi does, though. Vasco Dias: If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Dawn Halliwell likes hurting people, and this match is going to let her get all that anger out. Well, maybe not ALL that anger. That…that would be a lot of anger. {When the chorus hits, she raises her fists in the air as she lets out a shout of excitement punctuated by a blast of simple white pyro around her. She holds that pose until the second iteration of "Shoot to Thrill" in the chorus, at which point she charges into the ring and slides in, spinning with the momentum to her feet as she urges the crowd to get to their feet and rock along with her. After a few moments she will settle into her corner.} Terri Morasco: The second-ever Last Rites match is about to get underway! Twenty women! One title! No limits! Let’s get things going! {The bell rings, and both women immediately circle in, locking up quickly. Dawn whips Gabriela over with an arm drag, grinning and beckoning Gabi back in. The champion nods, and they lock back up again, Gabriela responding in kind with a taunting grin. A third lock-up leads to Dawn snaring a side headlock on Gabriela, but the champion quickly backs her into the ropes and shoots her off. Dawn plows into Gabriela with a big shoulder block, but Gabriela’s only on the canvas for a moment before kipping up, shouting at Dawn. Provoked, Dawn throws a huge right hand that Gabriela ducks under, coming off the ropes and whipping Dawn over with a leaping headscissors takedown! Dawn skids to the outside of the ring, clearly shouting “So we’re doing this!” in at Gabriela, and grabs a length of chain before sliding back in. Dawn goes for a quick chain shot, but Gabriela leaps out of the way, eyeing Dawn carefully in a stalemate…until the buzzer sounds and “Confident” hits the PA to a pop from the crowd!}
Elaine Laskaris: At number three! Vivienne Rodgers! Terri Morasco: A former World Champion! Vasco Dias: Here because she lost a match last week on Sacrifice, but you know she’s got a chip on her shoulder!
{Vivienne ignores the weapon racks, sliding into the ring, and the three women look at each other, nodding before charging into a three-way melee. Gabriela rails a forearm shot into Dawn, who blasts Vivienne with a right hand, who lights up Gabriela with a chop, and all three women are quickly exchanging blows. The two smaller women quickly team up against Vivienne, kicking her in the gut and whipping her to the ropes, but Vivienne comes off with a double clothesline that bowls the two smaller women over! She kneels down, quickly placing Gabriela into a bow and arrow hold, and wrenches on it as the timer counts down, the buzzer hitting and “Children’s Story” playing over the PA.}
Elaine Laskaris: Number four…Jenny Williams? Terri Morasco: Even Elaine sounds surprised here! Vasco Dias: I am too! I thought she was dead! Terri Morasco: VASCO!
Vasco Dias: TERRI! {Jenny slides between the ropes, immediately straightening up and drilling Dawn with an enzuigiri as she rises! Jenny grabs Dawn by the hair, hauling her up, and nails a low kick, followed by a middle kick on the opposite side, before going back to the first target with a low kick to Dawn’s knee. She backs up a little, taunting Dawn, and rears back for a massive high kick, but Dawn catches the leg at the last second! Jenny’s eyes go wide, and she only has a moment before she’s spun around, kicked in the gut, and dropped with a massive THUNDERSTRUCK! Dawn goes for the pin!
ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell rings, and Dawn stands up in triumph!}
Elaine Laskaris: Jenny Williams has been eliminated! Terri Morasco: And we have our first elimination of the night! So long, Jenny! Vasco Dias: And good riddance! {Dawn turns back to Gabi and Vivienne, who’re still wrapped up in the bow and arrow hold. Gabriela’s struggling to fight out of it, but Viv keeps shifting her grip, locking it in tighter and tighter. Dawn, sensing an opportunity, creeps over quietly before turning and backflipping into the RENEGADE standing moonsault across Gabi’s midsection! The impact breaks the hold, and Vivienne holds her ankle as Gabriela and Dawn both clutch their midsections! Dawn gets to her feet first, cracking her neck as the countdown comes again, and the buzzer signals…the opening of “Roots” by In This Moment!} Elaine Laskaris: Number five! Kimberly Jackson!
Terri Morasco: Kimberly’s in the first five because she was on the losing side in that tag match. She sounded motivated this week, I’d watch out for her. Vasco Dias: Fault her for what I may, Kimberly Jackson’s a hell of a competitor. Even this early, this could be a big momentum shift. {Kim slides in, immediately picking her target, and hauling Gabriela Luna to her feet. She lights up Gabi with a quick jab, followed by a palm strike to the midsection, and pulls her in for a quick knee strike before following up with a snapmare and a bodyscissors hold, squeezing the life out of the Luchadora Champion. Meanwhile, Dawn and Vivienne have paired off again, Dawn even dropping the chain. The two women lock up and immediately scramble through a series of chain wrestling reversals, ending with Dawn elbowing out of a hammerlock and making for the ropes, only to be hauled back into a vicious German suplex! Vivienne bridges over!
ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Dawn throws her shoulder up, and the buzzer sounds as they’re getting back to their feet, no music playing this time as Sarah Jade Wilson struts down to the ring, mouthing off at the fans!} Elaine Laskaris: Number six, Sarah Jade Wilson!
Terri Morasco: The self-appointed moral arbiter of IWF, we haven’t seen Sarah Jade Wilson in a while! I wonder how she feels about the state of the company today? Vasco Dias: I wonder how badly someone can hurt her today. Self-appointed buzzkill, more like! {Sarah immediately marches over and boots Kimberly in the face, breaking the bodyscissors she had on Gabriela. The reprieve for the champion is short-lived, however, as Sarah straddles her and begins raining down punches on the smaller woman. Gabriela quickly retaliates with a headbutt across the bridge of her nose, sending Sarah reeling slightly, and Gabriela slips free, rolling to her feet and hitting the ropes to deliver a brutal running double knee strike that lays out Wilson flat! Kimberly, seeing her chance, quickly rolls Sarah over and snaps on the HANGMAN’S CLUTCH! The vicious hold is powerful enough that Wilson has no choice but to tap!} Elaine Laskaris: Sarah Jade Wilson has been eliminated! Vasco Dias: Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye!
Terri Morasco: Don’t sing, Vasco. In any event, the first elimination for Kimberly Jackson here, with a powerful tapout elimination! Not much weapon use so far, is that surprising? Vasco Dias: It isn’t with most of these women. They have too much…ugh, “respect” for each other to fight like that. It’ll break down, though. It always does. {Kimberly gets to her feet again, squaring back off with Gabriela. Gabi beckons her in, shouting at her in Spanish, and Kimberly charges, only to be met with a quick arm drag. She bounces back up, and Gabriela pops her with a beautiful dropkick that she rotates through to land on her feet! As she does, though, Dawn pounces on her, burying a shot between her shoulderblades! Numbers one and two pair off again as Kimberly rolls up across from Vivienne, the two former champions locking eyes before moving in and locking up with each other. They struggle for position as Dawn and Gabriela tangle in the corner, the timer ticking down to…”Monster” by Paramore as Kate Steele enters, sprinting down the aisle and plucking a kendo stick from a weapon rack!}
Elaine Laskaris: Number seven! KATE! STEELE!
Terri Morasco: The Siren is here, and she’s bringing the plunder with her! Vasco Dias: YEEEEEESSSSS! LET THEM HAVE IT! I WANT BLOOD!
Terri Morasco: Are…are you sure you’re not related to Elaine? Vasco Dias: God, I hope not, Terri. That woman frightens me too much. Elaine Laskaris: I do what to you, Vasco? Vasco Dias: GAH! DEUS MEU! {Indeed, Elaine Laskaris has taken a seat at the commentary table, as Kate slides between the ropes, doling out kendo stick shots to everyone that she can. One for Dawn, one for Gabriela, one to the back of Kimberly’s head as she’s jockeying with Vivienne, and one to Vivienne’s forehead as she tries to protest! Kate plants a second shot on Kimberly, then a second on Vivienne, then a second on Dawn as she tries to rise, standing in the middle of the ring and raising the weapon to a mixed reaction from the crowd.} Terri Morasco: Well, that’s the kind of momentum shift that a weapon like a kendo stick can provide in a match like this. Can’t say I approve of the shots behind the back, necessarily… Elaine Laskaris: All in the game, Terri, all in the game! I put those weapons there to be used, and if Kate’s got the instinct to do it, then so much better for her! Vasco Dias: Took the words right out of my mouth, Laskaris! Damn you!
{Kate zeroes back in on Gabriela, the already-abused champion taking another shot to the lower back as she rises. Gabriela collapses into the corner, grimacing, and Kate winds up for a big overhead shot...only for the stick to connect with the turnbuckle as Gabi rolls forward! Kate whirls around, tracking her prey, but Gabriela’s already running to the ropes, bouncing off and drilling Kate with a massive handspring roundhouse kick straight to the side of the head! Kate collapses to her knees, clutching her temple, and Gabriela scoops up the kendo stick, twirling it in her hand as the countdown pops up again...}
Elaine Laskaris: Excuse me…
{As Elaine stands, “Me Too” by Meghan Trainor hits the PA, and Candy Kane struts from the back, eyes locked on the ring as the crowd boos her.}
Elaine Laskaris: Number eight, Candy Kane!
Terri Morasco: Candy Kane making her entrance here, and she’s walking into an unenviable position here. There are a lot of big names in there, and only a few eliminations racked up so far.
Vasco Dias: True, Terri, but when you’re as clever as Candy, there’s not a whole lot you can’t work your way on. Something tells me she’ll have an answer for her questions.
{Candy scoops up a steel chair, sliding into the ring and hefting it menacingly. She checks each of the women in the ring in turn, and when the chair swings it’s with a rattling, home-run shot to the back of Dawn Halliwell, who crumples in agony, kicking her feet and clutching her spine. Candy lays in another chairshot, but finds herself interrupted by Kimberly Jackson, who yanks the chair from her hands and begins lighting her up with a series of jabs and crosses, finishing with a massive European uppercut that drops the blonde! Kimberly drops into a cover!
ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Candy stays alive! Kimberly wastes no time in looking for an armbar, struggling on the mat with Candy. Vivienne, meanwhile, has made her way to her feet, dialing in on Kate Steele, and yanks the much smaller woman off the mat with a hand, dragging her into a massive CHOKESLAM! Kate bounces head-over-heels off the mat, landing face-first with a twitch of her leg! Vivienne’s the one left to face up on the entrance, beckoning the next competitor down as “Poison Whiskey” hits the PA.}
Elaine Laskaris: Number nine! Nancy! Pailson! CAAAARLSON!
Terri Morasco: The journeywoman, looking for her first taste of major success here in IWF. Can she shock the world and become Luchadora Champion?
Vasco Dias: She’s got a cutthroat attitude, a disdain for everyone else that walks, I think she’s got a shot here!
{Nancy plucks a lead pipe from one of the weapon racks, hefting it, and as she steps into the ring she swings big at Vivienne with the pipe. Vivienne rolls underneath, catching Nancy as she turns around with a big elbow strike! Nancy’s dazed, dropping the pipe, and Vivienne takes the opportunity to fire a shot into her gut, doubling her over, and hauling her in for a powerbomb! Vivienne keeps the hands clasped! A second! A third! SLUMBER PARTY! After the fourth powerbomb, she shifts her grip into a cross-armed one and hefts Nancy up for the TIK TOK! Vivienne holds on for the cover!
ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell rings, and Vivienne gets to her feet, shaking her head in dismay.}
Elaine Laskaris: Nancy Pailson-Carlson has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: Answers that question.
Vasco Dias: Well, she had a shot! Unfortunately for her, she missed it!
{As Vivienne stands, she surveys the ring. Gabriela’s still catching her breath in the corner. Kimberly and Candy have rolled to the outside, where they’re exchanging blows. Dawn has picked her way back to her feet, checking her potential targets, and Kate is laid out on the mat, still dazed from the chokeslam. Dawn and Vivienne shrug, moving in to lock up with each other again. Vivienne uses her size advantage to quickly snag a rear waistlock, and just like before, goes for a German suplex! Dawn flips through, however, and gets a German suplex of her own! Dawn’s back gives out before she can bridge, though, as Kate rolls to the outside next to the brawling Kimberly and Candy. The Englishwoman stumbles to her feet, visibly dazed, only for Gabriela to immediately ruin her night, and the night of the women behind her, as she hits the ropes and comes screaming through with the ARROW OF ARTEMIS on all three women! Everyone is down as the clock ticks again, the buzzer hits...and the thudding baseline of “Sober” by Tool plays as Raven Wheatley barges the ring, helmet still on!}
Elaine Laskaris: Number ten! Raven Wheatley!
Terri Morasco: Halfway home, Vasco, and the newcomer has a big opportunity here, if she can only capitalize!
Vasco Dias: She’s got a lot of targets to pick from, she had better be tactical about this!
Elaine Laskaris: Tactics nothing! THIS IS LAST RITES, VASCO! MAYHEM IS KING!
{Raven looks at the mass of humanity available and dials in on the already-wounded Kate Steele, who took the brunt of the Arrow of Artemis. She hauls her up, slinging Kate back into the ring, and follows her in. Kate staggers to her feet, only to eat a big helmet-assisted headbutt! Kate slumps against the ropes in the corner, eyes glazing over, and Raven pulls the helmet off, tossing it aside and lighting up Kate with a series of chops, forearms, and kicks, driving her down into the corner and shifting to stomps as she unloads a VIOLENCE PARTY on the Siren! Raven backs out of the corner, bellowing “COME AAAAWN!” to the crowd with a grin, who reply with a cheer.}
Terri Morasco: What an incredible beatdown on Kate Steele!
Vasco Dias: That’s gonna hurt in the morning, and that headbutt can’t have helped matters. I...I think she’s busted open!
Elaine Laskaris: *maniacal cackling* BLOOD! YES! NOW IT’S LAST RITES!
{Indeed, Kate is bleeding from her forehead, whether from the shot with the horned helmet of Raven or one of the many, many strikes to her head she just suffered is unclear. As she gets to her feet, she backs up, measuring Kate for a move...only to back right into Candy Kane, who blasts her between the shoulders with the lead pipe Kate dropped earlier! Raven crumples to her knees, and Candy steps around, delivering a vicious roundhouse kick to her unprotected head! Raven crumples in a heap, and Candy climbs the turnbuckles as “Pump It” hits the PA!}
Elaine Laskaris: Number eleven! Mimi! Simpson!
Terri Morasco: Here comes the high-flying Mimi Simpson! And—OH MY GOD!
{As Terri was trying to introduce her, Mimi leaps up onto the apron, springing up onto the top rope and leaping off as Candy launches herself for a moonsault to intercept her with a massive missile dropkick! Both women land awkwardly, but Mimi is the first one up, screaming her defiance at the crowd. She runs to the ropes, springboarding off again with a moonsault on Raven, and rolls to her feet, spinning and swinging a rolling elbow at Gabriela as she slides back into the ring! Gabriela rolls under, though, and when she comes to her feet she fluidly leaps through into LA TIJERA! The Pele kick staggers Mimi, and Gabriela hauls her in, lifting her up and dropping her with the AERIAL SPIKE! Gabriela rolls to her feet, slipping to the apron, and measures Mimi as she stumbles back to her feet, leaping in and flipping through into the HEELS OVER HEAD dragonrana! Cradle!
ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell rings, and Gabriela gets to her feet. Meanwhile, Candy has finally stood back up again, albeit clutching her neck, and turns around, not noticing that Kate Steele has ascended the turnbuckles! As Candy turns to face her, Kate leaps from the top, snatching her head on the way down with the SILENCE IS GOLDEN! Cover!
ONE! TWO! THREE! Kate leaps to her feet, grinning in triumph, and turns to face off with Gabriela Luna as the timer ticks down, “Rebel Girl” hitting the PA as Kai Sachiko bursts from the back, kendo stick in hand!}
Elaine Laskaris: Candy Kane and Mimi Simpson have been eliminated! Number twelve, Kai Sachiko!
Terri Morasco: Osaka’s most violent export has come to Last Rites, and she’s armed for battle!
Vasco Dias: We saw what a momentum shift Kate Steele brought with that kendo stick earlier, imagine what someone who knows how to use it can do damage!
{Kai gets into the ring, shouting in Japanese at the two women, demanding attention. Gabriela pivots smoothly to her and begins shouting back in Spanish, the bilingual obscenities flinging back and forth at rapid speed. Kate, frustrated, tries to elbow her way in, screaming “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” at both of them, stomping her foot in frustration. Kai and Gabriela exchange a brief look before turning to Kate, Gabriela grabbing Kate by the hair and flinging her into Kai, who nails a big exploder suplex! Kai jumps to her feet, roaring as Kate flips to her knees, and charges in, nailing a shining enzuigiri the moment Kate gets her foot underneath her! Gabriela, for her part, just slumps against the ropes, grinning as she watches the display of violence. Unfortunately for her, that leaves her wide open against Raven Wheatley, who roars in and drills her with a NO FATE against the ropes! Gabriela slumps over the second rope, gasping for air, and Raven hauls her out, setting her up for the BABA YAGA’S KISS as “Rondo -Revolution-” plays over the PA and Yusumi Mitsu runs down to the ring!}
Elaine Laskaris: Number thirteen! Yusumi! MITSU!
Terri Morasco: Yusumi Mitsu on her way in, and Raven looking for Baba Yaga’s Kiss! This could be the end for Gabriela Luna!
Vasco Dias: If she connects here, we have a new Luchadora Champion!
{Raven lets out a loud roar, lifting, but Gabriela kicks her legs, shifting her weight to block the lethal move. Raven hammers at her back with her free arm, but as she takes her eyes off her surroundings Yusumi runs in and clocks Raven in the back of the head with a running enzuigiri! The green-haired grappler slumps to a knee, letting Gabriela go, who stumbles backwards, clutching her shoulderblades in pain. Gabriela wastes little time, though, charging in and spiking Raven with the ONATOPP DRIVER! She rolls back up, screaming in fury, and Yusumi runs up behind her, hugging her in joy! Gabriela reacts on instinct, shooting an elbow backwards into her side, and Yusumi hits the mat, clutching her ribs. Gabriela whirls around, but Yusumi just stares up at her in shock and surprise that she would be so violent, tears brimming in her eyes.}
Terri Morasco: Is...is she going to cry?
Vasco Dias: NO CRYING IN LAST RITES!
Elaine Laskaris: Now YOU’RE stealing words from me! We’ll have this out on the dueling grounds, Dias, you hear me?!
Vasco Dias: No ma’am they’re all yours please don’t stab me.
{Gabriela tilts her head in confusion, and as she does Kate Steele rakes the eyes of Kai Sachiko, exploding out of the corner and leaping over Yusumi to deliver a FLOAT-OVER DDT to Gabriela! The champion’s spiked on her head, and Kate covers her, propping her feet on the ropes!
ONE! TWO! YUSUMI BREAKS IT UP AS GABRIELA THROWS HER SHOULDER UP! Kate stares open-mouthed at Yusumi, who shouts furiously at Kate in Japanese, stomping her foot in a manner that’s more adorable than intimidating.}
Terri Morasco: What’s she saying to Kate? And why would she break up the pinfall?! This is an elimination match!
Vasco Dias: Because she’s an idiot, that’s why! Only possible answer! I don’t need to speak Japanese to know that!
Elaine Laskaris: Well, she’s giving a speech about how winning with dishonor is hollow and how love and goodness are the only things that can bring fulfillment to your life, so I can confirm that Vasco is right AND that she’s wrong. In so, SO many ways.
Terri Morasco: You speak Japanese, Elaine?
Elaine Laskaris: Let’s not dwell, there’s a match on.
{Kate rears up for a huge right, drilling Yusumi in the jaw, and pounces on her as “Umbrella” by All Time Low brings out our next entrant to the roar of the crowd!}
Elaine Laskaris: Number fourteen! Mandi! MATTHEWS!
Terri Morasco: You want to talk about women with the crowd behind them? Listen to that ovation for Mandi Matthews! She’s been dealing with Zelda Knite for months, and she’s looking to put that behind her and capture her first IWF title in one fell swoop!
Vasco Dias: Talk about dangling a prize in front of someone! She’s going to have to be on her A game here, though!
{Mandi slides into the ring, eyeing up her options, and settles on Dawn, the second entrant. Mandi drives a forearm hard into the side of Dawn’s jaw, and Dawn fires back with a right of her own, the two women trading blows in the middle of the ring. Mandi gets the advantage with a big right hand, hitting the ropes and looking for a spear! No! Dawn sidesteps, grabbing the arm and trying to twist it into a Fujiwara armbar! She bears Mandi down to the mat, growling in frustration, and Mandi goes down about halfway before gritting her own teeth and shifting her weight, slipping under Dawn and lifting her up in a fireman’s carry! Dawn elbows out quickly, slipping behind, and grabs one of Mandi’s arms, trying for the HIGHWAY TO HELL! Mandi hip-tosses out, rolling to her feet, and Dawn’s met as she bounds back up with the MANDI MATTHEWS EXPERIENCE! Mandi lets out a battle cry to the crowd, which they reciprocate loudly and fully!}
Terri Morasco: What a MASSIVE kick from Mandi! Dawn might be out!
Vasco Dias: That sure looked like some A-game material to me, Terri!
{Raven stumbles to her feet, seeing Kimberly get up at the same time, and she charges in, looking for another NO FATE! NO! Kimberly sidesteps, looking for a roundhouse! BLOCKED! Raven nails a low dropkick, bringing Kimberly to a knee, and grabs her arms, looking for the TRAITOR’S GATE! KIMBERLY WRENCHES HER ARM FREE AND GRABS RAVEN’S LEG! Raven doesn’t have time to think before she’s whipped to the ground and hooked into the TAP OUT! Raven struggles for a moment, but once she realizes she’s too far from the ropes to force the break, she immediately slaps the mat, the bell ringing as Kimberly releases the hold!}
Elaine Laskaris: Raven Wheatley has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: Stuck in a dangerous position there, Raven had no choice but to tap!
Vasco Dias: No shame there. New kid took a risk, swung for it all, and got caught. Still, it has to be bittersweet for her to go like that.
{Raven rolls out of the ring, breathing heavily, and as she limps up against the rail, the buzzer sounds, and “Meganerd” hits the speakers as Crystal Zdunich struts down to the ring, a smirk on her face. She grabs another chair from ringside, turning and bashing Raven in the head with it on her way down!}
Elaine Laskaris: Number fifteen! Crystal! ZDUNICH!
Terri Morasco: Fifteen have entered, five remain, and—OH! That was COMPLETELY UNCALLED FOR! She had already been eliminated!
Vasco Dias: It sends a message, Terri. This is a new and more vicious Crystal Zdunich, and she’s not to be trifled with!
{Crystal slides into the ring, winding up, and cracks Mandi between the shoulders, raining down a vicious assault on her with the steel chair. Kimberly moves to intervene, but Crystal just throws the chair at her! Kimberly catches it, only for Crystal to drive it into her face with the FLASHING LIGHTS! Kimberly stumbles back, face bleeding, and Crystal turns back to Mandi, picking her up by the hair and throwing her HARD into the ringpost shoulder-first! As Mandi stumbles back, Crystal scoops up the chair, nailing her in the wounded shoulder, and rolls her up, transitioning into the POWER ABSORPTION! With the hold locked in, Mandi also has no choice but to tap, to the boos of the crowd!}
Elaine Laskaris: Mandi Matthews has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: That’s gotta be heartbreaking! Mandi just had her dreams snuffed out by Crystal and that vicious chair assault!
Vasco Dias: Weapons swing matches like this, Terri. They swung it for Alexis Caffrey last year, and every time they’ve been introduced, they’ve been a major factor. You can’t just ignore that.
{Crystal gets to her feet, shouting down at Mandi, and shoots another stomp into her chest. Meanwhile, Kate Steele’s back to her feet, moving to try to prey on Dawn Halliwell’s prone form. As she steps in, though, she finds herself blasted in the back of the head by a kendo stick shot, courtesy of Gabriela Luna! Gabriela hammers her again, sending Kate stumbling forward, and she drops the stick, grabbing her arm and whipping her off the ropes. Kate ducks under an attempted back elbow, running to springboard off, but GABRIELA RUNS AFTER HER AND CUTS HER OFF WITH A SPRINGBOARD RUSSIAN LEGSWEEP! SHE ROLLS THROUGH INTO LA JALISCERA! Kate fights against the hold, clawing, scratching, AND SHE TAPS OUT! Gabriela lets go of the hold, shoving her down face-first into the canvas as she gets to her feet, the buzzer sounding again...and as the pounding opening of “War Eternal” plays, all of the fatigue seems to leave her eyes as the Luchadora Champion turns to face the entry ramp, screaming for the next entrant to come.}
Elaine Laskaris: Kate Steele has been eliminated! Entering number sixteen, AMBER! COOKE!
Terri Morasco: This woman was guaranteed a spot in the final five last week on Sacrifice, and if you want to talk history, there’s a lot of history in what we’re about to see.
Vasco Dias: Amber and Gabriela have engaged in some of the most heated wars of words I’ve ever seen in IWF, and that’s saying something! These two want each other to suffer!
{Amber grabs a kendo stick, the third of the match, leveling it at the ring, and Gabriela quickly scoops up one of her own, beckoning Amber in. The muscle of the Best Friends Club slides into the ring, and the two immediately go at it, trading shots in an elaborate duel between the two weapon-wielding women! On the fringes of the battle, Kai throws herself at Vivienne, the two women immediately brawling again. Dawn and Kimberly are recovering against the ropes, Yusumi has rolled to the outside to catch her breath, hoping to remain unnoticed in the melee, and Crystal is stepping back, letting the women in the middle duke it out. Kai swings wildly at Vivienne, who ducks, quickly boosting her up into an electric chair! Vivienne grabs one arm, then the other, and bridges back with the RAISE YOUR GLASS!
ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell rings, and before Vivienne can even properly release the hold, Crystal’s rocketing into her ribs with a baseball slide dropkick!}
Elaine Laskaris: Kai Sachiko has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: Elimination number two for Vivienne Rodgers, and Crystal IMMEDIATELY taking advantage with that dropkick!
Vasco Dias: Smart strategy. Vivienne’s been in since number three, and if you work over those ribs, it gives you a better chance to cut into that legendary cardio. Plus, she waited until the pinfall was counted to thin the field. Crystal’s playing this one tactically.
{Gabriela catches Amber with a wayward strike, slipping through her guard and nailing her in the nose with the kendo stick. Amber stumbles back, but as Gabriela moves to capitalize Crystal grabs her by the tights and flings her through the second rope, running out and delivering a vicious springboard roundhouse to the side of Amber’s head! Crystal lands on her feet, spinning and delivering a low-angle FLASHING LIGHTS to the side of Amber’s head! She struts around the ring, taunting to the crowd as the clock ticks down...and as Crystal’s back faces the ramp, she hears two words she didn’t want to hear.
“Pop pop!”}
Elaine Laskaris: NUMBER SEVENTEEN! CHARITY! CROWNE!
Vasco Dias: HERE! COMES! TROUBLE!
Terri Morasco: It was one year ago at this very event that Charity Crowne stole the Best Friends Club out from underneath Crystal’s nose! Could she be looking to repeat her fortunes this year?
Elaine Laskaris: Oh, I almost forgot!
{Elaine reaches under the announce table, pulling out a black box, and opens it, revealing a silvered set of brass knuckles within. Charity takes them with a smile, sauntering towards the ring where Crystal stands, shouting for Charity to “bring it on, you backstabbing bitch!” Charity climbs up on the ring apron...and pauses, shaking her head and dropping down to taunt Crystal some more to the crowd’s boos. Crystal walks up to the ropes, leaning over and shouting down at the Crowne Jewel...only for Amber to spin Crystal around and rip her into the BLAST WAVE! Crystal crumples over Amber’s knee, and Amber holds her there, letting Charity bounce up onto the apron and slingshot in with the SO LAST SEASON straight across Crystal’s throat! Charity rolls to her feet, grinning, and high-fives Amber as the two survey the ring. Charity points to the downed Vivienne, and they advance on her like jackals, ready to pounce...only for Crystal to literally throw a chair at their backs, clattering against Amber’s lower back! She winces, and the two turn around, stalking back towards her, Amber talking a mile a minute as Charity rolls her wrists.}
Terri Morasco: That was NOT smart.
Vasco Dias: Absolutely not! The last thing you want to do is piss off the people with the numbers advantage, and that’s EXACTLY what Crystal did! She’s screwed! She’s doomed! Nobody’s coming to help her!
{The timer counts down as they advance, smirking...only for the smiles to drop as “Freak Like Me” by Halestorm plays and Ayla St. James storms the ring, already swinging a baseball bat like an executioner’s axe as she drives the Best Friends Club back!}
Elaine Laskaris: NUMBER EIGHTEEN! AYLA! SAINT! JAMES!
Terri Morasco: LISTEN TO THAT REACTION! Ayla St. James is back, and she’s got fire in her eyes!
Vasco Dias: Of course she does! She’s got a target! She’s got an opportunity!
{Ayla slides in, offering Crystal a hand up, and the two stand up, Best Friends Club and Bitches With Attitude squaring off to dueling chants of “B-F-C! B-F-C!” and “B-DUB-A! B-DUB-A!” Crystal rearms herself with the lead pipe from earlier, and Amber scoops up her kendo stick again, all four women tensing for a moment before exploding into all-out warfare! Ayla hones in on Amber, drilling her in the ribs with the bat before slugging her across the spine, and Crystal swings for the fences on Charity, who has to roll underneath to avoid the attack! She’s not so lucky on the return swing, though, as Crystal drives the pipe into the side of Charity’s knee, crumpling her like a paper bag! BWA lay into the Best Friends Club with a series of stomps and kicks, and around them the rest of the ring seems to come back to life. Dawn and Gabriela, numbers one and two, wearily get to their feet, exchanging shots again, and Vivienne and Kimberly go back to their own slugfest.}
Terri Morasco: Everyone’s up! This place has erupted in violence once more!
Elaine Laskaris: Good! Good! More for the gods! MORE BLOOD FOR MY OFFERINGS!
Vasco Dias: Okay, I thought we got rid of the blood cult last month!
Elaine Laskaris: Dias, calling me a cult is a gross misrepresentation. I am but one. And how can I be a cult to myself?
Vasco Dias: I don’t know, ask Candy Kane.
Terri Morasco: *undignified snort*
{Crystal charges at Amber, who ducks her shoulder and snaps her up into the COOKIE CUTTER! Amber rolls into a pin, and as Ayla moves to interfere, Charity runs in and drops her with a DIAMOND CUTTER!
ONE! TWO! THREE! Amber stands up, dusting her hands off, and Charity looks down at Ayla, beckoning Amber over. The two women haul Ayla up, Amber firing a shot into her gut, and Charity gestures with her thumb upwards before miming a Diamond Cutter! The timer runs down as Amber backs Ayla into the ropes...}
Elaine Laskaris: Crystal Zdunich has been eliminated!
{...and the opening howl of Halestorm’s “Slave to the Grind” cuts over the PA as Emma Danielson erupts from the back, a spool of barbed wire in her hands! She tosses it to the side as she reaches the ring, nearly clocking poor Yusumi Mitsu in the head with it, and the distraction is enough for Ayla to reverse the Irish whip, sending Amber face-first into a BROOKLYN HANGOVER!}
Elaine Laskaris: NUMBER NINETEEN! EMMA DANIELSON!
Terri Morasco: Here’s a woman that was practically born for this match, and WHAT A LARIAT!
Vasco Dias: Showing she hasn’t missed a beat with that massive shot, and bailing out her old friend in the process!
{Indeed, Emma straightens up, locking eyes with Ayla for a long moment. They exchange some words, looking to square off...before the two women pull together in a huge hug to the roar of the crowd! They squeeze the hug for a moment before breaking, Ayla going after a stunned Charity and Emma circling Amber. They hammer away on their respective targets, Emma kneeing Amber in the gut and delivering the LAST ROUND onto a steel chair! Ayla blocks a shot from Charity, nailing her in the gut to double her over as well and set up for the PAIN THRESHOLD arm trap DDT! NO! CHARITY SPINS OUT! BRASS KNUCKLES TO THE JAW! ANOTHER DIAMOND CUTTER! Charity covers! ONE! TWO! EMMA LUNGES TO BREAK IT UP BUT AMBER GETS HER BY THE ANKLE! THREE! Charity rolls on her back, groaning, and slips to the outside as the fans boo.}
Elaine Laskaris: Ayla St. James has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: So much for the reunion tour, but it was good while it lasted.
Vasco Dias: Never bet against the House, Terri! I told you!
{Emma turns around, booting Amber in the face, and struggles to her feet. Meanwhile, Charity stalks around the outside, eyeing up poor Yusumi Mitsu. Yusumi leaps to her feet, struggling to run away, and Charity chases her, murderous intent in her eyes. Yusumi leaps onto the apron, climbing the turnbuckle, but as she reaches the top Dawn Halliwell hits the ropes nearby, causing her to land hard on her tailbone! Charity slides into the ring, seizing the moment, and handstands into the corner, snaring Yusumi by the neck and whipping her off with the SOCIAL CLIMBER! INTO THE AIRBURST POWERBOMB BY AMBER COOKE! Amber covers!
ONE! TWO! THREE! Amber stands up, dusting her hands off, and the Best Friends Club regroup in the corner as the timer ticks down on the final entrant!}
Terri Morasco: Who’s it going to be? Who’s number twenty?
Vasco Dias: Something tells me none of these women are going to like the answer…
{As the buzzer goes off for the final entry, there’s a moment of tense silence...before One OK Rock’s cover of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” plays, and Zelda Knite struts her way from the back to the utter loathing of the crowd! She waves, smirking and oblivious, as if none of it really mattered to her anyway.}
Elaine Laskaris: Number twenty! ZELDA! KNITE!
Terri Morasco: Ohh, this is a dangerous place to be if you’re Zelda. She’s got all that attention on her, just the way she likes it, but that could backfire big time.
Vasco Dias: No joke! She had better be ready!
{Zelda arms herself with a chair, carefully maneuvering around the edges of the melee to find an opportune place to slip in. She picks her spot, sliding in and cracking Vivienne in the back with her weapon! Meanwhile, Dawn and Kimberly are tangling with each other. Dawn boots Kim in the gut, looking for a THUNDERSTRUCK! NO! Kimberly caught the boot and flips Dawn head over heels RIGHT INTO A HIGH-VELOCITY ORANGE CRUSH BOMB! COVER!
ONE! TWO! THR—DAWN KICKS OUT ON INSTINCT! Kimberly doesn’t let up, though, dragging Dawn to her feet. Dawn coughs, flipping Kimberly the bird, and Kimberly just scoops her up on her shoulders, dropping her down with the KNOCK OUT! Cover again!
ONE! TWO! THREE! The bell rings, and Kimberly grimaces as she makes her way to her feet again, shaking her arm out.}
Elaine Laskaris: Dawn Halliwell has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: From the first two all the way to this deep in the match, Dawn Halliwell has nothing to be ashamed about this year in Last Rites!
Vasco Dias: Maybe she should have used those chains a bit more. That might’ve given her an extra shot. Still, she fought her ass off.
{Emma rolls to the outside, grabbing the lead pipe, and slides back in, eyeing up her target. The most obvious one in the ring. She stalks her for a moment, eyes narrowed, and as Zelda Knite turns around, we have another mid-ring faceoff, the crowd at a fever pitch as Emma and Zelda exchange trash talk with one another, weapons at the ready.}
Terri Morasco: Talk. About. History! These two were part of the first-ever women’s match in NCW history, back in early 2010, and here we are almost a decade later, reunited and at each others’ throats!
Elaine Laskaris: Zelda Knite nearly destroyed Emma Danielson’s career, depriving me of all the beautiful violence she can bring. I hope she breaks both her legs!
Vasco Dias: These two had some vicious exchanges, with some saying that Zelda’s words have aged poorly. Personally, I say nobody ages poorly in a casket, so this situation just might work out for her!
{Zelda winds up, looking for a big swing, but Emma deflects it with the pipe, grabbing her wrist and twisting viciously until Zelda drops the chair. Zelda’s arrogant mask drops to fear, and she tries to run away, but Emma short-arms her into a BROOKLYN HANGOVER! She hangs on, dragging her up, and knees her in the gut, drilling her onto her own chair with the HOLY DRIVER piledriver! Zelda’s forehead bounces off the steel, a trickle of red bleeding down, and Emma scoops up the chair, turning it on Zelda with a hailstorm of chairshots. Meanwhile, it’s as if the rest of the action in the ring has stopped to witness this mugging. After about a dozen shots with the flat and edge of the chair, Emma tosses it aside and drags Zelda up, gesturing to the roll of barbed wire on the outside. Gabriela Luna is the one to respond, kicking it over, and Emma grabs a pre-cut length, winding it around her arm. She takes a step back, flipping the double birds at Zelda, and hits one set of ropes, then the other, coming off with a brutal wire-assisted BROOKLYN HANGOVER! Emma covers her!
ONE! TWO! THREE! The response from the crowd nearly tears the roof off, as Emma rocks back onto her knees, already tearing up a bit.}
Elaine Laskaris: Zelda Knite has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: And what a moment of personal retribution! Zelda Knite hung over Emma’s career like a cloud for almost a decade, but in this one moment, she picks up some personal absolution!
Vasco Dias: The literal blood she took from Zelda there can’t hurt either! Well, it certainly can, but...you know what I meant!
{Emma stands up, backing away, and three camps emerge among the six remaining women. In one corner, Emma unwinds the barbed wire, throwing it to the side and lining up with Kimberly Jackson. In another, the Best Friends Club measure their options. In the third, Vivienne Rodgers and Gabriela Luna catch their breath. The tranquility only lasts a moment, though, as all six women surge into the center of the ring and square off with each other! Charity and Vivienne pair off, Gabriela and Amber begin throwing hands, and Emma and Kimberly look at each other and shrug for a moment before lighting each other up! The three battles develop around each other, throwing down with ferocity as each woman jockeys for position, throwing down like their lives depended on it!}
Terri Morasco: HERE WE GO! The final six women! One of them WILL walk out of Last Rites the IWF Luchadora Champion! Who’s it going to be?!
Vasco Dias: All I know is that they’re going to hate themselves in the morning, but the reward will be oh so sweet!
{Gabriela and Emma trade off partners inadvertently, Emma squaring off with Amber Cooke again and Gabi throwing down with Kimberly. Kimberly nails a boot to Gabriela’s gut, hooking her up for an ORANGE CRUSH BOMB! NO! Gabriela counters into a hurricanrana that hauls both women over the ropes! They spill to the outside, and Amber uses the moment’s distraction to hammer Emma across the temple with a back elbow. The shot staggers the older woman, and Amber knees her in the midsection, hooking her into a pumphandle and looking for the COOKIE CUTTER! NO! Emma yanks her hand free from the pumphandle, rolling through and landing on her feet, and nails Amber with a rolling elbow! Emma doubles Amber over, hauling her into position, and lifts her up into a crucifix, tossing her into the DETOXIFIER! Emma covers, and Charity’s kept from interfering by a chokeslam from Vivienne!
ONE! TWO! THREE! Emma pounds the mat in triumph, standing up as the bell rings again.}
Elaine Laskaris: Amber Cooke has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: We’re down to five, and the muscle of the Best Friends Club is gone! Charity’s all alone in there!
Vasco Dias: Oh no! Quick, someone do something! Send in the Royal Marines! Send in the clowns! DO SOMETHING!
{An irate Charity rakes Vivienne’s eyes as she’s hauled up, and she and Vivienne drag each other into the middle of the ring, Charity delivering chops that are answered by forearm shots from Vivienne. Charity takes a forearm and lashes out with the brass knuckles, hoping to buy herself an advantage, but Vivienne catches her arm, prying her hand open and ripping the knuckles off her hands. Charity shoots a thumb into Vivienne’s eye, buying her some space to lash out with the BEAL NA BLATH! NO! Vivienne ducks under, boosting her up onto her shoulders and locking her arms to go for the RAISE YOUR GLASS! CHARITY KICKS HER LEGS AND FLIPS FORWARD INTO A CROSS-ARMED DIAMOND CUTTER! She struggles to her feet, but Vivienne is already rising. A panicked Charity shakes her head, stepping back before blasting Vivienne in the head with the SOD OFF punt kick! Vivienne sprawls out, and she covers!
ONE! TWO! THREE! The crowd boos loudly as Charity dusts her hands off, smirking and standing up.}
Elaine Laskaris: Vivienne Rodgers has been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: And retribution for Charity Crowne, as she spoils Vivienne Rodgers’ title dreams, though not without bending the rules a little.
Vasco Dias: The only rule in Last Rites is that there are no rules, Terri. There’s only victory. And we’re down to four!
{The final four pair off with each other, Charity with Kimberly and Emma with Gabriela. Charity nails a spinning backfist on Kimberly, who whips into a roundhouse kick on Emma, who delivers a rolling elbow to Gabriela, who staggers back and nails LA TIJERA on Charity! All four women wobble for a moment before diving into their respective targets again, Charity with a chop to Kimberly and Emma with a right hand to Gabriela! Emma hits the ropes, looking for the BROOKLYN HANGOVER on Gabriela! NO! Gabriela ducks under and hits the ropes, coming off with the SUDDEN IMPACT! Charity kicks Kimberly’s knee out from underneath her, measuring her and yanking her into a huge knee lift before spinning into a discus clothesline for the DON’T CHA! NO! KIMBERLY SWATS IT AWAY! As Charity turns, Kimberly rolls forward, sweeping Charity off her feet with an Imanari roll and transitioning STRAIGHT INTO THE TAP OUT! Gabriela rolls to her feet, leaping to the top turnbuckle in one massive jump, and comes off with the PHOENIX SPLASH on Emma! Cover!
ONE! TWO! CHARITY TAPS! THREE! Gabriela rolls to her feet, staring wearily at Kimberly as she gets back to her feet, the bell ringing twice.}
Elaine Laskaris: Charity Crowne and Emma Danielson have been eliminated!
Terri Morasco: HERE WE ARE! FINAL TWO! Our first entrant and our third entrant, each woman having gone through almost a half-hour of hell, both bleeding, suffering, agonizing over every moment! Which one will come out on top?! Which one will triumph?!
Vasco Dias: The Crowne Jewel is gone! How dare you, Jackson! HOW DARE YOU!
Elaine Laskaris: ¡MATALA! ¡MATALAAAAAAA!
{The two women close, trading verbal jabs back and forth, with Gabriela audibly asking “Still think all I can do is curse, huh?!” After a few moments of this, Kimberly lunges forward, firing off a right hand, and Gabriela staggers back before answering with one of her own. The two women trade shots before Kimberly opens up with one of her trademark flurries, driving Gabriela back into the ropes. As she goes for the European uppercut she uses to cap it, though, Gabriela rolls under, looking for LA TIJERA again! NO! Kimberly catches the foot into an ankle lock, trying to drop back into the TAP OUT! Gabriela forces her foot underneath her, pushing up and twisting, and leaps into an enzuigiri that stuns Kimberly! She slips between the ropes again, measuring Kimberly, and leaps for the HEELS OVER HEAD! COUNTERED INTO A MODIFIED ORANGE CRUSH BOMB! COVER!
ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! GABRIELA KICKS OUT AT THE LAST SECOND!}
Terri Morasco: AN INCH AWAY! Kimberly Jackson was an INCH away from being Luchadora Champion!
Vasco Dias: My heart’s going to burst out of my chest! I don’t want either of them to win, but I don’t want this match to end!
{Kimberly hauls Gabriela up, delivering a huge open-handed right, and slings her up on her shoulders in a torture rack, looking for the KNOCK OUT! NO! GABRIELA COUNTERS INTO AN ARM DRAG! Kimberly’s back up! Boot to the gut! AERIAL SPIKE! KIMBERLY’S BACK UP! Gabriela charges off the ropes, nailing the SUDDEN IMPACT! COVER!
ONE! TWO! THREE! NO! KIMBERLY KICKS OUT JUST IN TIME AS WELL! Gabriela rocks back on her heels, unsure of what to do, breathing heavily as she stares down at Kimberly’s form.}
Terri Morasco: Neither woman will die! Neither woman will give up their chance at history!
Vasco Dias: Please don’t die! We can’t afford that paperwork again!
Elaine Laskaris: WHAT IS PAPERWORK BEFORE THE GODS?!
{She takes a few steps back, hitting the ropes as Kimberly rises like a juggernaut yet again, and looks for the ONATOPP DRIVER! NO! Kimberly hauls her up and looks for another ORANGE CRUSH BOMB! COUNTERED INTO A SPIKE RANA ONTO A STEEL CHAIR! Kimberly’s face is gushing blood! Gabriela charges for the turnbuckles, leaping up again, and lets out a loud, defiant, exhausted bellow of “¡MIRAME!” before arcing back into the highest PHOENIX SPLASH she’s ever delivered! Gabriela covers tightly, hooking both of Kimberly’s legs!
ONE! TWO! THREE! Kimberly kicks out just after the three count, and the look of disappointment on her face is powerful as “Vortex” crashes over the PA, Gabriela rocking back on her knees with a primal scream of triumph!}
Elaine Laskaris: HERE IS YOUR WINNER! AAAAAAAAAAAND STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL! IWF! LUCHA-DORA CHAAAAAAAAAAAMPION! GABRIELA! LUUUUUUUUUUUUUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Terri Morasco: THE ODDS HAVE BEEN SHATTERED! Gabriela Luna entered first! She made it to the end! She had everything working against her, but despite that all, she has SURVIVED Last Rites!
Vasco Dias: The Phoenix rises here in her city, and the Phoenix Splash was the bullet in the chamber that made the impossible magic happen!
{Gabriela looks to the heavens, face a mixture of shock, joy, and confusion as tears roll down her face. Behind her, Kimberly Jackson forces herself to stand, blood dripping from her forehead and frustration evident on her face. She walks over, grabbing Gabriela by the shoulder, and turns her around, and the two women stare tensely at each other, Kimberly’s blood, Gabriela’s tears, and both women’s sweat mixing as it rolls down their faces. After a tense moment, Kimberly offers Gabriela a handshake. After a long moment, Gabriela takes it, shaking slowly, and the two women hug briefly before Kimberly turns and raises Gabriela’s hand, pointing at her with a bittersweet look on her face. Gabriela points right back, nodding, and the two pull back in for a moment, exchanging whispers before Kimberly turns and leaves the ring.}
Terri Morasco: What an incredible display, after the war those two women went through! You have to give it up for Kimberly Jackson. She put on a hell of a performance, racked up elimination after elimination, and was so close to winning it all. Nighthawk, if you’re listening, she’s a credit to your teachings.
Vasco Dias: Even I have to admit that last part. I hate this sort of blatant sportsmanship, but when you leave it all in the ring like that, you get a bit of a pass to do what you like. Elaine, what do you think? Elaine?
{Elaine has left the booth, sliding into the ring, Luchadora Championship in her hands. Gabriela looks over to her wearily, and Elaine simply applauds, smiling ear to ear. She unclasps the belt, walking around Gabriela for a moment, and fastens it around her waist. Elaine steps back, continuing to applaud as Gabriela climbs the turnbuckles, shouting at the crowd, whose roar is almost deafening in response. She poses atop the buckles, Luchadora Championship glinting in the light, as fireworks go off on the stage behind her.}
Terri Morasco: What a night! What an incredible display! Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of myself, Vasco Dias, and the entire IWF broadcast team, thank you so much for joining us! Good night, from Phoenix!
{The fireworks go off behind Gabriela as she smiles, looking to the sky, and the logo plate comes up as we fade to black on the exhausted but triumphant Luchadora Champion.}
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