Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Jun 26, 2017 1:45:46 GMT
Somehow, I always knew it would come to this.
My path to this moment has been strewn with the wreckage of every bad decision I've ever made. Alex Jones. Kyle Mason. Spike Kane. Warren. Every mistake I've made since I walked through the door of IWF has been laid in front of me...and now, the man who represents so much more. The man I could have been if I had chosen differently. The man who has haunted every errant word, always a reproach on his lips, constantly a condescending condemnation teetering on the tip of his tongue.
Somehow, I always knew I'd have to go through you, Jake. I just didn't know when.
You, more than any of them, remind me of the man I could have been. If I let myself continue to fail, not just myself but the people that had believed in me, I could have been nothing. I could be turfed out, bitter, consigned to bingo halls and VFWs until I couldn't walk. But every time I fell...every time, you were there to slap me back into consciousness. You were there to tear me apart until I couldn't stand, and the best part? This wasn't for me. It was for you.
You didn't do it because you thought I needed to be better. You did it for yourself. You did it for the sense of accomplishment it brought you, to take a man who had once been a hero and show his ugliness to the world. In that regard, you and Roberto aren't really different. You both love to see heroes fall. You're just different in how you celebrate it. That's why it's so funny to see you two at loggerheads. I've known both of you a long time, and no matter what airs you put on...you're more like him than you'll ever really admit.
But this isn't about Roberto, no matter how much he wants to puff his chest and insist he's the true Imperial Champion. No, that's going to be decided between you and I, old friend. Well, I say old friend. You've been everything to me. You've been a friend when I needed one, you've been someone who's welcomed me into their home, you've been an ally...and you've also been a duplicitous snake who turned people close to me against me with promises of glory and power. I still remember, Jake. I still remember seeing my best friend and my baby sister at your side. That title wasn't worth it. I would have given it up in a heartbeat to undo that moment...but I can't.
I can't undo what you've done to me. I can't forget. And part of me won't ever be able to forgive you. I've done some terrible things in my time, Jake, but even I've never touched another man's family. And I wouldn't. Not now, not ever. Because there are some lines men shouldn't cross. Not that you'd know. You'd cross any line if it got you what you wanted. You'd cave in my father's head with that rake if it got you to your end goal. There are three people in this world that are safe from you, Jake. Three people who you'd never throw under the wheels. Kathy. Solitaire. Domino.
And I can't even blame you.
Your wife. Your daughters. I know how much they mean to you. I know how much making sure they're happy and safe means to you. And I know what being the Imperial Champion would do for you, which is why it hurts so much to know that I'm going to have to deny it to you.
Andrew stares out the hotel window into the night, arm resting on the windowsill as the rain taps out an irregular symphony against the glass. He sighs, eyes flicking downward as his shoulders heave slowly. The soft sound of footsteps comes from behind him, and a familiar hand slides in and over the one that rests on the sill. Danielle's voice echoes in the quiet, concern laced through. "Can't sleep?"
He shakes his head, sighing again. His eyes don't move, though, staying locked downward. When he speaks, it's like he has to summon his voice from somewhere deep inside himself, rough around the edges and weary. "I didn't expect I would. I just...I'm in my own head, Dani. More than that. He's in there. Bastard's been there for years, and it's all coming to a head."
Danielle shakes her head, squeezing his hand. "Let me ask you something, Andy. What do you owe him?" Andrew's mouth opens immediately to respond, and she reaches up, shutting it again. "Ah. No. Think about this. Think about your answer. What do you owe Jake Conway?" she pulls her hand back, smirking. "Remember: think."
Andrew stays silent for half a second before speaking again. "I owe him a fair fight. I—"
"No you don't." Danielle cuts him off. "How many times has he fought fair against you? How many times has he not? Arguably, you owe him the least fair fight you can find. Now. Try again. What...do you owe him?"
Andrew closes his eyes for a few seconds before responding, nostrils flaring slowly. "I owe him...I owe him respect for his caree—"
"Nope." Danielle shakes her head. "He's spent his entire career spitting on the ideas that you fight for. You don't owe him respect, not even for his abilities. He wants that? He can earn it. You don't OWE him that. Anything else? Come on. What. Do you. Owe. The Ace?"
Andrew looks back at Danielle, opening his eyes again. "What are you trying to get at?"
Danielle sighs, turning Andrew around and looking up at him. "I'm trying to get at the idea that you don't owe him anything. You don't owe him, just like you don't owe Rob, or Verona, or anyone else in this company. There's only one person in that locker room you owe anything to, and..." she reaches up and taps the end of Andrew's nose with her outstretched index finger. "Boop, there he is."
He shakes his head, sighing. "I owe a lot more people than just me, Dani. That's the whole point of this. I'm not just here for me, I'm here for them. All of them."
"Right," Danielle nods, "but you're here for THEM." she points out the window at the city outside. "THEM. Not the guys in the locker room. They've never respected you, because they don't respect anyone. They think the only way to survive is to play this stupid alpha-male survival of the scummiest game, and you're better than that. They don't deserve you, Andrew. They never have. So don't act like you owe them a goddamned thing. If anything, they owe you."
Andrew breathes deeply through his nostrils, letting the statement hang in the air for a moment. "But...do they? Do they owe me? No. They don't owe me...but it doesn't matter if they owe me. I owe me, and I owe the people. That's enough. It'll have to be."
Danielle nods, smiling a bit more now. "There you go. That's starting to sound more like it. Now, what do you owe Jake Conway?"
Andrew pauses, looking Danielle in the eyes, and he manages a half-smile. "I owe him a boot in the teeth."
Danielle cheers, grinning, and tiptoes up to plant a kiss on Andrew's cheek. "There we go!" she bounces back down onto the balls of her feet, smile broad and mischievous. "Now...do you feel a little more like going to bed?"
Andrew chuckles, shaking his head. Danielle's expression morphs into one of confusion as he walks towards the door, grabbing his always-ready gym bag. "I'm awake now. I'm going to go burn off a little excess steam. Be back up in a little while. Hope you sleep well!"
The door to the room swings open and shut, and Danielle stares at it, blinking in confusion before throwing her hands up. "I'm practically begging him to get back in bed and all he can think about is the gym? What am I doing wrong? Is my boyfriend asexual? Evidence to the contrary, but..." she groans, flopping back in bed, and begins pulling the covers back over herself. "Know what? You go blow off your steam. I get the blankets. Only fair."
Danielle shakes her head again, grumbling, but the fond smile on her face can't be disguised. "Drive me crazy, that man..." she sighs, rolling over in bed and closing her eyes as we fade out.
The truth is, I've...I've just come too far to fall now. A month? A month's not enough. If I fall in a month, I vindicate everyone who's ever said I couldn't make it at the top. I vindicate Spike Kane, I vindicate Cable Arcane, and I vindicate that loathsome jackass Rob Diamond, and I will be DAMNED before I let that disgusting human being get even a SHRED of vindication from me. No, not now. Not here. I won't stop, not for my fears and not for your own failings.
You gave me so much grief for failing my fans, for failing the people I was supposed to be the hero for. You gave me so much grief for failing your own daughter. How were you going to go home and explain to her what I'd done, you said? How could you ever tell her that her hero had failed her?
Honestly, Jake? He'd failed her a long time ago. You had.
Maybe it's because you were hoping that I wouldn't make the mistakes you had. Maybe you were hoping that I could rise above, be the perfect hero everyone thought I was. Hell, I thought I was perfect. That's half the reason I did what I did. It was a mistake. But unlike you, I didn't let that mistake define me. I defied it. I knew that I couldn't ignore it, but I strove to be better. You refuse to think that's an option for yourself. Sure, you can end up against bigger villains than yourself, but as you always say, don't bet on dying a hero.
No. To hell with that. I've lived as a villain before. Never again. I've walked the darker path. Never again. I have done things that keep me up at night to this day, and I will never be able to forgive myself for them...but they just provide more motivation for me to walk the path of the hero. They whisper in my ear when I can't sleep, they whisper to me every time I have to look myself in the mirror, and do you know what they say, Jake?
Never. Again.
There's a path back for just about everyone, and unlike Spike Kane...your goodness isn't just in your children. You've invited me into your home. I've known you and Kathy for years. I've seen you when the cameras are off. Jake Conway is a good man, even if the Ace hasn't been. If you really wanted to, you could be such an incredible champion. You could be a paragon, Jake. But as long as you think you can't, then nothing in the world I can do will change it.
So come Bloody Assizes, you and I are going to war. Not the kind of war I've been to with Spike. No, this is a gentleman's war. This is going to be a war of grappling, a war of who's the better technician. We both want this. And we both know that whoever walks out the other side has one hell of a road ahead of them. I'm already walking that long road of redemption, Jake. I'm willing to go through hell to keep this title. Are you willing to climb out of hell to earn it?
Ready? Let's go.
My path to this moment has been strewn with the wreckage of every bad decision I've ever made. Alex Jones. Kyle Mason. Spike Kane. Warren. Every mistake I've made since I walked through the door of IWF has been laid in front of me...and now, the man who represents so much more. The man I could have been if I had chosen differently. The man who has haunted every errant word, always a reproach on his lips, constantly a condescending condemnation teetering on the tip of his tongue.
Somehow, I always knew I'd have to go through you, Jake. I just didn't know when.
You, more than any of them, remind me of the man I could have been. If I let myself continue to fail, not just myself but the people that had believed in me, I could have been nothing. I could be turfed out, bitter, consigned to bingo halls and VFWs until I couldn't walk. But every time I fell...every time, you were there to slap me back into consciousness. You were there to tear me apart until I couldn't stand, and the best part? This wasn't for me. It was for you.
You didn't do it because you thought I needed to be better. You did it for yourself. You did it for the sense of accomplishment it brought you, to take a man who had once been a hero and show his ugliness to the world. In that regard, you and Roberto aren't really different. You both love to see heroes fall. You're just different in how you celebrate it. That's why it's so funny to see you two at loggerheads. I've known both of you a long time, and no matter what airs you put on...you're more like him than you'll ever really admit.
But this isn't about Roberto, no matter how much he wants to puff his chest and insist he's the true Imperial Champion. No, that's going to be decided between you and I, old friend. Well, I say old friend. You've been everything to me. You've been a friend when I needed one, you've been someone who's welcomed me into their home, you've been an ally...and you've also been a duplicitous snake who turned people close to me against me with promises of glory and power. I still remember, Jake. I still remember seeing my best friend and my baby sister at your side. That title wasn't worth it. I would have given it up in a heartbeat to undo that moment...but I can't.
I can't undo what you've done to me. I can't forget. And part of me won't ever be able to forgive you. I've done some terrible things in my time, Jake, but even I've never touched another man's family. And I wouldn't. Not now, not ever. Because there are some lines men shouldn't cross. Not that you'd know. You'd cross any line if it got you what you wanted. You'd cave in my father's head with that rake if it got you to your end goal. There are three people in this world that are safe from you, Jake. Three people who you'd never throw under the wheels. Kathy. Solitaire. Domino.
And I can't even blame you.
Your wife. Your daughters. I know how much they mean to you. I know how much making sure they're happy and safe means to you. And I know what being the Imperial Champion would do for you, which is why it hurts so much to know that I'm going to have to deny it to you.
Andrew stares out the hotel window into the night, arm resting on the windowsill as the rain taps out an irregular symphony against the glass. He sighs, eyes flicking downward as his shoulders heave slowly. The soft sound of footsteps comes from behind him, and a familiar hand slides in and over the one that rests on the sill. Danielle's voice echoes in the quiet, concern laced through. "Can't sleep?"
He shakes his head, sighing again. His eyes don't move, though, staying locked downward. When he speaks, it's like he has to summon his voice from somewhere deep inside himself, rough around the edges and weary. "I didn't expect I would. I just...I'm in my own head, Dani. More than that. He's in there. Bastard's been there for years, and it's all coming to a head."
Danielle shakes her head, squeezing his hand. "Let me ask you something, Andy. What do you owe him?" Andrew's mouth opens immediately to respond, and she reaches up, shutting it again. "Ah. No. Think about this. Think about your answer. What do you owe Jake Conway?" she pulls her hand back, smirking. "Remember: think."
Andrew stays silent for half a second before speaking again. "I owe him a fair fight. I—"
"No you don't." Danielle cuts him off. "How many times has he fought fair against you? How many times has he not? Arguably, you owe him the least fair fight you can find. Now. Try again. What...do you owe him?"
Andrew closes his eyes for a few seconds before responding, nostrils flaring slowly. "I owe him...I owe him respect for his caree—"
"Nope." Danielle shakes her head. "He's spent his entire career spitting on the ideas that you fight for. You don't owe him respect, not even for his abilities. He wants that? He can earn it. You don't OWE him that. Anything else? Come on. What. Do you. Owe. The Ace?"
Andrew looks back at Danielle, opening his eyes again. "What are you trying to get at?"
Danielle sighs, turning Andrew around and looking up at him. "I'm trying to get at the idea that you don't owe him anything. You don't owe him, just like you don't owe Rob, or Verona, or anyone else in this company. There's only one person in that locker room you owe anything to, and..." she reaches up and taps the end of Andrew's nose with her outstretched index finger. "Boop, there he is."
He shakes his head, sighing. "I owe a lot more people than just me, Dani. That's the whole point of this. I'm not just here for me, I'm here for them. All of them."
"Right," Danielle nods, "but you're here for THEM." she points out the window at the city outside. "THEM. Not the guys in the locker room. They've never respected you, because they don't respect anyone. They think the only way to survive is to play this stupid alpha-male survival of the scummiest game, and you're better than that. They don't deserve you, Andrew. They never have. So don't act like you owe them a goddamned thing. If anything, they owe you."
Andrew breathes deeply through his nostrils, letting the statement hang in the air for a moment. "But...do they? Do they owe me? No. They don't owe me...but it doesn't matter if they owe me. I owe me, and I owe the people. That's enough. It'll have to be."
Danielle nods, smiling a bit more now. "There you go. That's starting to sound more like it. Now, what do you owe Jake Conway?"
Andrew pauses, looking Danielle in the eyes, and he manages a half-smile. "I owe him a boot in the teeth."
Danielle cheers, grinning, and tiptoes up to plant a kiss on Andrew's cheek. "There we go!" she bounces back down onto the balls of her feet, smile broad and mischievous. "Now...do you feel a little more like going to bed?"
Andrew chuckles, shaking his head. Danielle's expression morphs into one of confusion as he walks towards the door, grabbing his always-ready gym bag. "I'm awake now. I'm going to go burn off a little excess steam. Be back up in a little while. Hope you sleep well!"
The door to the room swings open and shut, and Danielle stares at it, blinking in confusion before throwing her hands up. "I'm practically begging him to get back in bed and all he can think about is the gym? What am I doing wrong? Is my boyfriend asexual? Evidence to the contrary, but..." she groans, flopping back in bed, and begins pulling the covers back over herself. "Know what? You go blow off your steam. I get the blankets. Only fair."
Danielle shakes her head again, grumbling, but the fond smile on her face can't be disguised. "Drive me crazy, that man..." she sighs, rolling over in bed and closing her eyes as we fade out.
The truth is, I've...I've just come too far to fall now. A month? A month's not enough. If I fall in a month, I vindicate everyone who's ever said I couldn't make it at the top. I vindicate Spike Kane, I vindicate Cable Arcane, and I vindicate that loathsome jackass Rob Diamond, and I will be DAMNED before I let that disgusting human being get even a SHRED of vindication from me. No, not now. Not here. I won't stop, not for my fears and not for your own failings.
You gave me so much grief for failing my fans, for failing the people I was supposed to be the hero for. You gave me so much grief for failing your own daughter. How were you going to go home and explain to her what I'd done, you said? How could you ever tell her that her hero had failed her?
Honestly, Jake? He'd failed her a long time ago. You had.
Maybe it's because you were hoping that I wouldn't make the mistakes you had. Maybe you were hoping that I could rise above, be the perfect hero everyone thought I was. Hell, I thought I was perfect. That's half the reason I did what I did. It was a mistake. But unlike you, I didn't let that mistake define me. I defied it. I knew that I couldn't ignore it, but I strove to be better. You refuse to think that's an option for yourself. Sure, you can end up against bigger villains than yourself, but as you always say, don't bet on dying a hero.
No. To hell with that. I've lived as a villain before. Never again. I've walked the darker path. Never again. I have done things that keep me up at night to this day, and I will never be able to forgive myself for them...but they just provide more motivation for me to walk the path of the hero. They whisper in my ear when I can't sleep, they whisper to me every time I have to look myself in the mirror, and do you know what they say, Jake?
Never. Again.
There's a path back for just about everyone, and unlike Spike Kane...your goodness isn't just in your children. You've invited me into your home. I've known you and Kathy for years. I've seen you when the cameras are off. Jake Conway is a good man, even if the Ace hasn't been. If you really wanted to, you could be such an incredible champion. You could be a paragon, Jake. But as long as you think you can't, then nothing in the world I can do will change it.
So come Bloody Assizes, you and I are going to war. Not the kind of war I've been to with Spike. No, this is a gentleman's war. This is going to be a war of grappling, a war of who's the better technician. We both want this. And we both know that whoever walks out the other side has one hell of a road ahead of them. I'm already walking that long road of redemption, Jake. I'm willing to go through hell to keep this title. Are you willing to climb out of hell to earn it?
Ready? Let's go.
Well howdy there pardner.