Post by Deathtrain on Aug 4, 2013 16:33:56 GMT
I don't understand what the fuck is going on anymore. It feels like everything in my life is spiraling out of control right now, and no matter how hard I try, the ball just keeps unraveling, stringing me along and pulling me farther into the abyss that once consumed me. I look in the mirror and try so fucking hard to see myself, but all I can see is the rage, the anger.....and the darkness. God, the bloody darkness, hiding behind my eyes like pools of manic depravity. I've fought for so long, pushed out every vile and twisted thought from my mind, tried to hide from the psychotic past world I used to dwell in, but I fear that my time has run out. I don't think I can hide any longer. The grave I dug to bury the darkness is reopened, the cold earth no longer compact but soft and sifting, and the soul has risen to reclaim its mortal body. How much longer can I go on? How much longer can I fight nightmare's cold embrace? After the events of the past week.....I'm not sure that I can.....
It was bad enough finding out that my son had disappeared from his mother's home, but then to find out that I was a suspect? I'm on the road three hundred days out of the year! I was three states away when Aaron went missing and they had the nerve to question me? Yeah, so I'm not a suspect anymore. It shouldn't have even been a question! Everyone knows how much I love my son, and everyone knows that I'm back on the road now. I tried to fight back the anger at being questioned, tried to fight back the cold black ice surrounding my heart, but it only made matters worse. The one good thing I have left in this world has gone missing and there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do sit back and let the police do their job as the madness continues to swallow me.
Not like they're ever going to find him. Those fucking pigs are so ignorant. Every single thing I told them during the questioning, every word of it, was nothing more than fallacy. And it was so easy, too. Play the role of the caring, worried father, feed them the whole "i'll do whatever I can" bullshit. By the end of our little talk, those poor saps were giving me their condolences and patting me on the back, telling me that everything would be okay. Hell, one of them was even crying! Ha...pathetic...
I know exactly where Aaron is at. He's been with me this entire time. Well, at least in a place where I know he is safe, safe away from the mouth running bitch mother of his. You deserve every bit of this, Erica. How could you tell our child that his father, his best friend, his superhero is nothing more than a monster? You had no right to take our son's image of his father and try to destroy it. Aaron is my son, too, Erica, and by the time I'm done with him, he is going to know you for exactly what you are. His resentment for you is going to surpass my own and, eventually, you will be nothing more than an afterthought, a small remnant of the pitiful life he once had.
Now, I know you can't see it, Erica, but there is a darkness growing inside this boy, one that has the potential to allow our son to become so much more incredible than I could ever dream. And, it's all because of me. When Aaron was conceived, I passed on so much more than my genetics. Our son was born with the potential to become purely one with darkness I fell into so many years ago, and I will do everything within my power to make sure that he reaches that potential, and that he fulfills his destiny by taking his seat upon the tenebrous family throne. Until then, keep searching for your little boy, and I'll keep playing up the part of the tragic father, desperate and helpless from the loss of his son.
I just wish that there was something I could do, some way that I could reach out and find out what happened to Aaron. I've tried talking to Erica, but she is so lost in her own misery that she can hardly speak to me. Deep down, I feel as if she thinks its my fault. I mean, I know we had our differences, and I know that things didn't work out, but I would never do anything so vile as this. I would never take my son away from his mother, no matter how much I hate her sometimes.
God, darkness, stop your tormenting ways. You've tortured me for so long, pushed me to the brink of mental devastation, and I can't take it any longer. It is all just too much. Quit playing like the cat, swatting at the dying mouse and just render your fatal blow unto me. Only then can I finally be at peace. Just end it all and let me rest in your embrace...in the darkness....
(In unison)
In darkness
In darkness
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another week...another loss due to the ignorance of the idiots I'm forced to be surrounded by. Seriously, Laszlo? We had the match won last week. I practically handed Honorbound to you, yet you somehow managed to screw it up and cost us the match? I can't even begin to imagine how this could happen. Even somebody with your limited expertise should know how to roll somebody up for a three count. But, no you just had to play the showboat and now, my list of wins and losses here in the IWF is starting to seem a extremely one sided. I know that I've said it's not about wins and losses and that what I do in the ring is what matters, but god dammit this is getting old. I don't know what it's going to take to find a credible partner, someone who can stand side by side with the Walking Nightmare, someone who can coexist in this twisted realm of darkness I live in. Hell, I'd settle for someone straight out of training. At least the concept of a pinfall is fresh on their minds. Honestly, until recently, I'd never considered the tag titles as a goal for myself. It's just not something that seemed all that interesting to me because, let's face it, EVERYBODY wants the singles gold. Everyone wants to leave their mark on this business by holding that big belt, the Heavyweight Title, because that means that they are the best. But then, I saw the list of tag teams here in the IWF. I saw some of the names in these groups. People like my old buddy, Spike Kane. Spike has done just about everything there is to do in this business, but I'll be damned if he isn't right there in the thick of the tag division, wearing that precious gold just as proudly as ever. I have to admit, I'm proud of you Spike old fella. After everything you've been through in this business, you still find some way to keep that fire inside of you burning. I admire your spirit, Spike, but that is not going to stop me from coming after those belts you and Rob share.
You see, it finally hit me. Gold is power....gold is prestige...it doesn't matter what gold it is. When you wear that gold around your waist, it proves that you are the best, that you are on top. I deserve to be there with the big players, the top dog, and I will prove my worth by making my way through this match against Jake and Alex and moving on to the next one. Not only that, but I'm going to do this alone. Jackhammer, I don't need you, plain and simple. I'll not fall to the same mistakes I made with my last partner. I will not allow my destiny to be held by somebody other than myself. Yeah, you're a big dude, and yeah you're probably going to try to maim and destroy any and every thing in that ring. By all means, have your fun, but when the time comes, I will make sure that this bout ends exactly the way it should, with my hand raised high in victory, even if it means removing you from the match myself.
Now, as far as our opponents go...I'll not lie. Jake and Alex can make a formidable team, no doubt about it. Their styles mesh very well, and they have similar backgrounds. Their pairing should be rock solid. Every rock has its cracks though, and I can see them very well. Jake, you'll put up one hell of a fight. I can see it in your eyes, that fighting spirit, the inner warrior that exists within us all. You'll come to the fight, raring to go, but unfortunately for you, you will have left your spear and shield at home. I've seen your work, Jake, and I know enough about you from talk backstage that you have some nasty, lingering damage from all of the injuries you've faced throughout your career. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Some of us are just naturally accident prone. We get hurt, we heal, we come back. That is just one natural cycle of this business. I don't think that's who you are though, Jake. Personally, I think your a bit of a thrill seeker, which is fine and all, but combined with that frantic emotional spiral you swirl around in, it tends to make you rather reckless. By all means, be as reckless as you feel the need to be. It is not going to stop me from ripping your spine out from your throat. I don't care what it takes to win, Jake, I'm going to do it. If I have to rip your arms off and beat them over that thick skull of your's, I'll do it. And, trust me on this one, you will NOT heal from these injuries. Jackhammer and I will advance on to the next match, even if I have to end your career in the process.
Moving on, we come to your partner, the ever enthralling, audience captivating, the "prince of perfection" and the most annoying son of a bitch I have ever stepped inside of a ring with, Alex Jones. You may be Alex Jones here in the IWF, but you will always be AJ to me, that little punk bitch who rose to fame because him and his buddy sat around making dick jokes. Honestly, I never could buy into the hype. That fact that you climbed through the ranks so quickly and gained so many friends and fans just made me sick. Granted, the talent was there. The talent has always been there, Alex, but the fact that you were so arrogant, so haughty and conceited about it...it just drove me nuts to see all of those people following you. How did you do it? How did you have everybody kissing your ass all day long while simultaneously rubbing your snot nosed immaturity right in their faces? You can say it was respect because of the talent, because of your performances or whatever you want, but honestly its nothing more than the simple fact that you are the world's biggest bullshitter. Even now after all of these years. You haven't changed at all. You may think that you have everyone fooled with your new found sense of maturity, but truthfully you've just found some way to stack BS on top of BS. You will always be the juvenile, cocky goon that you've always been, no matter what lies you tell everybody and yourself. When I stand across that ring from you this week, I will see the real you, AJ, and I'm going to hurt you and decimate you and cause you as much pain and misery as I can dish out. And, when it's all said and done, when you're laying flat on your back wondering what in the hell just ran over you, I'm going to take my boot and stomp out the ashes of your existence, making damn sure that there will be no chance for the phoenix to rise again. Sleep soundly, Alex and Jake. Your nightmare begins very soon.....
It was bad enough finding out that my son had disappeared from his mother's home, but then to find out that I was a suspect? I'm on the road three hundred days out of the year! I was three states away when Aaron went missing and they had the nerve to question me? Yeah, so I'm not a suspect anymore. It shouldn't have even been a question! Everyone knows how much I love my son, and everyone knows that I'm back on the road now. I tried to fight back the anger at being questioned, tried to fight back the cold black ice surrounding my heart, but it only made matters worse. The one good thing I have left in this world has gone missing and there is nothing I can do about it. All I can do sit back and let the police do their job as the madness continues to swallow me.
Not like they're ever going to find him. Those fucking pigs are so ignorant. Every single thing I told them during the questioning, every word of it, was nothing more than fallacy. And it was so easy, too. Play the role of the caring, worried father, feed them the whole "i'll do whatever I can" bullshit. By the end of our little talk, those poor saps were giving me their condolences and patting me on the back, telling me that everything would be okay. Hell, one of them was even crying! Ha...pathetic...
I know exactly where Aaron is at. He's been with me this entire time. Well, at least in a place where I know he is safe, safe away from the mouth running bitch mother of his. You deserve every bit of this, Erica. How could you tell our child that his father, his best friend, his superhero is nothing more than a monster? You had no right to take our son's image of his father and try to destroy it. Aaron is my son, too, Erica, and by the time I'm done with him, he is going to know you for exactly what you are. His resentment for you is going to surpass my own and, eventually, you will be nothing more than an afterthought, a small remnant of the pitiful life he once had.
Now, I know you can't see it, Erica, but there is a darkness growing inside this boy, one that has the potential to allow our son to become so much more incredible than I could ever dream. And, it's all because of me. When Aaron was conceived, I passed on so much more than my genetics. Our son was born with the potential to become purely one with darkness I fell into so many years ago, and I will do everything within my power to make sure that he reaches that potential, and that he fulfills his destiny by taking his seat upon the tenebrous family throne. Until then, keep searching for your little boy, and I'll keep playing up the part of the tragic father, desperate and helpless from the loss of his son.
I just wish that there was something I could do, some way that I could reach out and find out what happened to Aaron. I've tried talking to Erica, but she is so lost in her own misery that she can hardly speak to me. Deep down, I feel as if she thinks its my fault. I mean, I know we had our differences, and I know that things didn't work out, but I would never do anything so vile as this. I would never take my son away from his mother, no matter how much I hate her sometimes.
God, darkness, stop your tormenting ways. You've tortured me for so long, pushed me to the brink of mental devastation, and I can't take it any longer. It is all just too much. Quit playing like the cat, swatting at the dying mouse and just render your fatal blow unto me. Only then can I finally be at peace. Just end it all and let me rest in your embrace...in the darkness....
(In unison)
In darkness
In darkness
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another week...another loss due to the ignorance of the idiots I'm forced to be surrounded by. Seriously, Laszlo? We had the match won last week. I practically handed Honorbound to you, yet you somehow managed to screw it up and cost us the match? I can't even begin to imagine how this could happen. Even somebody with your limited expertise should know how to roll somebody up for a three count. But, no you just had to play the showboat and now, my list of wins and losses here in the IWF is starting to seem a extremely one sided. I know that I've said it's not about wins and losses and that what I do in the ring is what matters, but god dammit this is getting old. I don't know what it's going to take to find a credible partner, someone who can stand side by side with the Walking Nightmare, someone who can coexist in this twisted realm of darkness I live in. Hell, I'd settle for someone straight out of training. At least the concept of a pinfall is fresh on their minds. Honestly, until recently, I'd never considered the tag titles as a goal for myself. It's just not something that seemed all that interesting to me because, let's face it, EVERYBODY wants the singles gold. Everyone wants to leave their mark on this business by holding that big belt, the Heavyweight Title, because that means that they are the best. But then, I saw the list of tag teams here in the IWF. I saw some of the names in these groups. People like my old buddy, Spike Kane. Spike has done just about everything there is to do in this business, but I'll be damned if he isn't right there in the thick of the tag division, wearing that precious gold just as proudly as ever. I have to admit, I'm proud of you Spike old fella. After everything you've been through in this business, you still find some way to keep that fire inside of you burning. I admire your spirit, Spike, but that is not going to stop me from coming after those belts you and Rob share.
You see, it finally hit me. Gold is power....gold is prestige...it doesn't matter what gold it is. When you wear that gold around your waist, it proves that you are the best, that you are on top. I deserve to be there with the big players, the top dog, and I will prove my worth by making my way through this match against Jake and Alex and moving on to the next one. Not only that, but I'm going to do this alone. Jackhammer, I don't need you, plain and simple. I'll not fall to the same mistakes I made with my last partner. I will not allow my destiny to be held by somebody other than myself. Yeah, you're a big dude, and yeah you're probably going to try to maim and destroy any and every thing in that ring. By all means, have your fun, but when the time comes, I will make sure that this bout ends exactly the way it should, with my hand raised high in victory, even if it means removing you from the match myself.
Now, as far as our opponents go...I'll not lie. Jake and Alex can make a formidable team, no doubt about it. Their styles mesh very well, and they have similar backgrounds. Their pairing should be rock solid. Every rock has its cracks though, and I can see them very well. Jake, you'll put up one hell of a fight. I can see it in your eyes, that fighting spirit, the inner warrior that exists within us all. You'll come to the fight, raring to go, but unfortunately for you, you will have left your spear and shield at home. I've seen your work, Jake, and I know enough about you from talk backstage that you have some nasty, lingering damage from all of the injuries you've faced throughout your career. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Some of us are just naturally accident prone. We get hurt, we heal, we come back. That is just one natural cycle of this business. I don't think that's who you are though, Jake. Personally, I think your a bit of a thrill seeker, which is fine and all, but combined with that frantic emotional spiral you swirl around in, it tends to make you rather reckless. By all means, be as reckless as you feel the need to be. It is not going to stop me from ripping your spine out from your throat. I don't care what it takes to win, Jake, I'm going to do it. If I have to rip your arms off and beat them over that thick skull of your's, I'll do it. And, trust me on this one, you will NOT heal from these injuries. Jackhammer and I will advance on to the next match, even if I have to end your career in the process.
Moving on, we come to your partner, the ever enthralling, audience captivating, the "prince of perfection" and the most annoying son of a bitch I have ever stepped inside of a ring with, Alex Jones. You may be Alex Jones here in the IWF, but you will always be AJ to me, that little punk bitch who rose to fame because him and his buddy sat around making dick jokes. Honestly, I never could buy into the hype. That fact that you climbed through the ranks so quickly and gained so many friends and fans just made me sick. Granted, the talent was there. The talent has always been there, Alex, but the fact that you were so arrogant, so haughty and conceited about it...it just drove me nuts to see all of those people following you. How did you do it? How did you have everybody kissing your ass all day long while simultaneously rubbing your snot nosed immaturity right in their faces? You can say it was respect because of the talent, because of your performances or whatever you want, but honestly its nothing more than the simple fact that you are the world's biggest bullshitter. Even now after all of these years. You haven't changed at all. You may think that you have everyone fooled with your new found sense of maturity, but truthfully you've just found some way to stack BS on top of BS. You will always be the juvenile, cocky goon that you've always been, no matter what lies you tell everybody and yourself. When I stand across that ring from you this week, I will see the real you, AJ, and I'm going to hurt you and decimate you and cause you as much pain and misery as I can dish out. And, when it's all said and done, when you're laying flat on your back wondering what in the hell just ran over you, I'm going to take my boot and stomp out the ashes of your existence, making damn sure that there will be no chance for the phoenix to rise again. Sleep soundly, Alex and Jake. Your nightmare begins very soon.....
Well howdy there pardner.