Post by Kathleen Conway on Jul 30, 2017 15:41:16 GMT
I have only actively been a part of the professional wrestling business for less than a decade, a relatively short time by all accounts, but in that short time, I've learned so many things about this nomadic way of life and the kinds of people and the kinds of minds it tends to attract.
When it comes right down to it, the business of professional wrestling is a honey trap for anybody with issues. A haven for the sick and twisted, a playground for the damaged and the deranged, and a circus for the rest of the world that watches every week. It takes a certain strength, not only of the body but of the mind to survive in this industry. In the best cases, that kind of mental strength is presented as an inspiration, but in the worst cases it is twisted and exploited for the sake of entertainment.
Four years ago, the Imperial Wrestling Federation took a complete shot in the dark, when they hired a deeply troubled young woman who was a complete unknown in this business, a freak by anybody's standards, not knowing what they had then or what she would eventually become. That young woman would go on to defy every expectation and preconceived notion they had of both her and her laundry list of issues, and today that young woman is considered something of a pioneer in the world of female professional wrestling, and especially here in the Imperial Wrestling Federation.
That young woman's name is a name you and I know, and know well, Helena, because each of us has come face to face with her in our time here, and when we did we each learned something very valuable about ourselves.
We both learned our limits.
But what you hold in reverence Helena, I hold in resentment.
Whilst I cannot deny the professional value of a woman like Eternity to this business, personally I have more than enough of a problem with what she has come to represent in less than half a decade to so many promising young women wrestlers who are looking to break into this business, to make a real impact - women like you, Helena Sawyer.
I have a serious issue with the fact that ever since this company unwittingly stumbled onto the phenomenon simply known as Eternity, they have tried to replicate it - taking chances on any other young woman with a similar mentality and outlook on life who was willing to sign on the dotted line of a lucrative Imperial Wrestling Federation contract, anybody from Maxine Valentine to Rowan MacDonnough and to even yourself, Helena Sawyer.
Five years ago, each of you would have been hired as nothing more novelty acts, throwbacks to the forgotten carny roots of this profession, twisted exaggerations of society's monumental misunderstanding of REAL mental issues, just like I was in New Championship Wrestling, but now in this post Eternity world, the entire landscape of professional wrestling has been irrevocably changed, and not for the better.
Now I am forced to bite my tongue and sign anybody the IWF brass thinks could be "the next Eternity", and so over the last six months, MY Division has been overrun by certifiable psychopaths like you Helena - women who aren't being hired for their wrestling prowess but for the simple fact that they find both pleasure and purpose in not only their own pain and suffering, but also in the pain and suffering of others.
Until now, until the Board of Directors in another pearl of their infinite wisdom, declared this year's Heiress to the Throne tournament to be open season, my ability to do anything about the plague of insanity sweeping through MY Division personally, was limited to signing off match contracts - and so I used what little power, influence and authority I had to keep you in check as much as I could without risking my position as Head of the Diamonds.
In the rather grandiose lobby of the Hyatt Regency hotel, Solitaire and Domino run up to their mother, who is walking towards them and her in laws as they arrive from England, where they had been staying for much of this European tour.
Kathy Conway scoops up her youngest daughter as she runs into her open arms and kisses her on the cheek, and with one free arm she embraces Solitaire, before turning her attention to her in laws - Thomas and Margaret Conway.
"Thank you so much for looking after them these last few weeks. I hope they weren't too much trouble," said Kathy.
"Not at all, we had fun," said Thomas.
"How was the flight?"
"Good," said Margaret, looking around. "So, where is my son?"
"Training for his big rematch in the fitness centre," said Kathy.
Margaret simply nodded, suppressing a disappointed sigh, as Thomas excused himself to the check in desk. Kathy's intuition told her that Margaret was troubled by something.
"Is everything alright, Margaret? You seem a little...troubled."
"Yes, I suppose I am, dear. I suppose I am. I thought I raised him better, that's all."
"Oh Margaret, not you too. I thought you of all people would have a bit more faith in your own son about all of this. He really is doing this because of Solitaire. Ask her, she wanted to see daddy get a rematch against Andrew, didn't you, sweetie?"
"Yes, I tried to tell her Mom, but she wouldn't believe me. Nobody believes me, not Grandma, not the jerks at the airport, nobody," said Solitaire.
"Jerks at the airport?"
"A couple of teens, about fourteen, recognised her from TV, and gave us some abuse about how her daddy didn't earn his rematch against Andrew. We did our best to ignore them, but you know how kids can be at that age," said Margaret.
"They were real douches, Mom," said Solitaire.
"Unbelievable," said Kathy, "I'm just glad you're okay."
"Yes, well Solitaire has been quite insistent on sticking to her story that this really was all her idea," said Margaret.
"It's not a story Margaret, it's the truth. After their first match, Solitaire told daddy she'd love to see a rematch because of the way it ended," said Kathy.
"And Daddy said I should ask Andy about one myself, and so I did," beamed Solitaire.
"I was there Margaret, the was so coercion, trust me. I wouldn't allow it," said Kathy.
"Yes, well, be that as it may, you can't blame me for having my doubts, given the kind of things my son has been known to pull over the years," said Margaret.
"Oh come on Margaret, you're making him sound like Spike Kane, Jake may have done a lot of questionable things on TV, but he has his limits, limits that I've made sure he sticks to for the better part of nine years now. What kind of mother would I be if I allowed my daughter to be coerced and manipulated on live TV for the world to see?" said Kathy.
"Right ladies, we're all checked in," said Thomas, reappearing at Margaret's side.
"Alright dear, you win, you win. Soli, I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
"Finally! Thank you Grandma, said Solitaire, sharing a hug with the elderly woman.
I thought if I kept people of your particular mental persuasion fighting among yourselves, Helena, eventually something would give and you'd start cancelling each other out and solve my problem for me. In the case of Maxine Valentine, it appears to have worked, at least for now, and for a while after the Diamond Dragon's Den, I thought Eternity had done away with you too Helena, but now I see I was mistaken, because here you are again - thrown back by the pit of obscurity into this world.
My world.
A world I've struggled to maintain as equal in both strength and beauty.
A world in which I would be all too happy to let somebody like Michelle Dearborn pursue all of her dreams, if only I could know with any certainty that she wouldn't still be held hostage by the culmination of all of her nightmares. Michelle could be one hell of a Diamond without you Helena - you know this as well as I do, and it is precisely because you know of her potential and everything she could be in this business without you that you cannot let her go.
As much as you despise the fact that she is a part of you Helena, you also know that without her, you'd quite literally cease to exist, so rather than let her get the psychiatric help she needs to purge herself of you for good, you're hoping to purge yourself of her first.
I know this Helena because I know the struggle that you are both going through right now. After Spike Kane dropped me on my head, for five years of my life I struggled with my own personal demons. I know exactly what its like to look at yourself in the mirror and not recognise the reflection. I know the absolute fear, the sense of dread and the utter terror of not knowing exactly how long you were going to be able to hold on to your sense of self in those rare and oh so precious moments of personal lucidity you are sometimes afforded, if only by the grace of the good Lord above, himself.
That is why I can and do address both you Helena and you Michelle, I implore you both to seek out the help you need, because it wasn't until I found the courage within myself to ask for the help I so desperately needed to escape the strangling duality of a hazy abyss that I found my freedom, my liberation and my new lease on life. And to this day I draw the strength to continue the fight from that courage Michelle, just as you should - and then, maybe just maybe, we will both overcome Helena in our own ways before Lineage comes to a close.
Continue the fight Michelle, not only for your own sake, but for the sake of those you love, for Grace.
She misses you, and she's waiting for you to come home.
You see if this company really wants to make a statement about the state of mental health care in this industry, they need to change their narrative from one of glamorising serious mental health issues to one of championing somebody who overcame them and went on to realise some of her biggest dreams.
Somebody with the proven courage to stand against the darkness without allowing it to consume or control her. Somebody who has already proven her worth as a role model to other aspiring young women, both inside and outside this industry. Somebody who is a loving mother, a devoted wife and a successful businesswoman.
Somebody like me - Kathleen Elizabeth Conway.
When it comes right down to it, the business of professional wrestling is a honey trap for anybody with issues. A haven for the sick and twisted, a playground for the damaged and the deranged, and a circus for the rest of the world that watches every week. It takes a certain strength, not only of the body but of the mind to survive in this industry. In the best cases, that kind of mental strength is presented as an inspiration, but in the worst cases it is twisted and exploited for the sake of entertainment.
Four years ago, the Imperial Wrestling Federation took a complete shot in the dark, when they hired a deeply troubled young woman who was a complete unknown in this business, a freak by anybody's standards, not knowing what they had then or what she would eventually become. That young woman would go on to defy every expectation and preconceived notion they had of both her and her laundry list of issues, and today that young woman is considered something of a pioneer in the world of female professional wrestling, and especially here in the Imperial Wrestling Federation.
That young woman's name is a name you and I know, and know well, Helena, because each of us has come face to face with her in our time here, and when we did we each learned something very valuable about ourselves.
We both learned our limits.
But what you hold in reverence Helena, I hold in resentment.
Whilst I cannot deny the professional value of a woman like Eternity to this business, personally I have more than enough of a problem with what she has come to represent in less than half a decade to so many promising young women wrestlers who are looking to break into this business, to make a real impact - women like you, Helena Sawyer.
I have a serious issue with the fact that ever since this company unwittingly stumbled onto the phenomenon simply known as Eternity, they have tried to replicate it - taking chances on any other young woman with a similar mentality and outlook on life who was willing to sign on the dotted line of a lucrative Imperial Wrestling Federation contract, anybody from Maxine Valentine to Rowan MacDonnough and to even yourself, Helena Sawyer.
Five years ago, each of you would have been hired as nothing more novelty acts, throwbacks to the forgotten carny roots of this profession, twisted exaggerations of society's monumental misunderstanding of REAL mental issues, just like I was in New Championship Wrestling, but now in this post Eternity world, the entire landscape of professional wrestling has been irrevocably changed, and not for the better.
Now I am forced to bite my tongue and sign anybody the IWF brass thinks could be "the next Eternity", and so over the last six months, MY Division has been overrun by certifiable psychopaths like you Helena - women who aren't being hired for their wrestling prowess but for the simple fact that they find both pleasure and purpose in not only their own pain and suffering, but also in the pain and suffering of others.
Until now, until the Board of Directors in another pearl of their infinite wisdom, declared this year's Heiress to the Throne tournament to be open season, my ability to do anything about the plague of insanity sweeping through MY Division personally, was limited to signing off match contracts - and so I used what little power, influence and authority I had to keep you in check as much as I could without risking my position as Head of the Diamonds.
In the rather grandiose lobby of the Hyatt Regency hotel, Solitaire and Domino run up to their mother, who is walking towards them and her in laws as they arrive from England, where they had been staying for much of this European tour.
Kathy Conway scoops up her youngest daughter as she runs into her open arms and kisses her on the cheek, and with one free arm she embraces Solitaire, before turning her attention to her in laws - Thomas and Margaret Conway.
"Thank you so much for looking after them these last few weeks. I hope they weren't too much trouble," said Kathy.
"Not at all, we had fun," said Thomas.
"How was the flight?"
"Good," said Margaret, looking around. "So, where is my son?"
"Training for his big rematch in the fitness centre," said Kathy.
Margaret simply nodded, suppressing a disappointed sigh, as Thomas excused himself to the check in desk. Kathy's intuition told her that Margaret was troubled by something.
"Is everything alright, Margaret? You seem a little...troubled."
"Yes, I suppose I am, dear. I suppose I am. I thought I raised him better, that's all."
"Oh Margaret, not you too. I thought you of all people would have a bit more faith in your own son about all of this. He really is doing this because of Solitaire. Ask her, she wanted to see daddy get a rematch against Andrew, didn't you, sweetie?"
"Yes, I tried to tell her Mom, but she wouldn't believe me. Nobody believes me, not Grandma, not the jerks at the airport, nobody," said Solitaire.
"Jerks at the airport?"
"A couple of teens, about fourteen, recognised her from TV, and gave us some abuse about how her daddy didn't earn his rematch against Andrew. We did our best to ignore them, but you know how kids can be at that age," said Margaret.
"They were real douches, Mom," said Solitaire.
"Unbelievable," said Kathy, "I'm just glad you're okay."
"Yes, well Solitaire has been quite insistent on sticking to her story that this really was all her idea," said Margaret.
"It's not a story Margaret, it's the truth. After their first match, Solitaire told daddy she'd love to see a rematch because of the way it ended," said Kathy.
"And Daddy said I should ask Andy about one myself, and so I did," beamed Solitaire.
"I was there Margaret, the was so coercion, trust me. I wouldn't allow it," said Kathy.
"Yes, well, be that as it may, you can't blame me for having my doubts, given the kind of things my son has been known to pull over the years," said Margaret.
"Oh come on Margaret, you're making him sound like Spike Kane, Jake may have done a lot of questionable things on TV, but he has his limits, limits that I've made sure he sticks to for the better part of nine years now. What kind of mother would I be if I allowed my daughter to be coerced and manipulated on live TV for the world to see?" said Kathy.
"Right ladies, we're all checked in," said Thomas, reappearing at Margaret's side.
"Alright dear, you win, you win. Soli, I'm sorry I didn't believe you."
"Finally! Thank you Grandma, said Solitaire, sharing a hug with the elderly woman.
I thought if I kept people of your particular mental persuasion fighting among yourselves, Helena, eventually something would give and you'd start cancelling each other out and solve my problem for me. In the case of Maxine Valentine, it appears to have worked, at least for now, and for a while after the Diamond Dragon's Den, I thought Eternity had done away with you too Helena, but now I see I was mistaken, because here you are again - thrown back by the pit of obscurity into this world.
My world.
A world I've struggled to maintain as equal in both strength and beauty.
A world in which I would be all too happy to let somebody like Michelle Dearborn pursue all of her dreams, if only I could know with any certainty that she wouldn't still be held hostage by the culmination of all of her nightmares. Michelle could be one hell of a Diamond without you Helena - you know this as well as I do, and it is precisely because you know of her potential and everything she could be in this business without you that you cannot let her go.
As much as you despise the fact that she is a part of you Helena, you also know that without her, you'd quite literally cease to exist, so rather than let her get the psychiatric help she needs to purge herself of you for good, you're hoping to purge yourself of her first.
I know this Helena because I know the struggle that you are both going through right now. After Spike Kane dropped me on my head, for five years of my life I struggled with my own personal demons. I know exactly what its like to look at yourself in the mirror and not recognise the reflection. I know the absolute fear, the sense of dread and the utter terror of not knowing exactly how long you were going to be able to hold on to your sense of self in those rare and oh so precious moments of personal lucidity you are sometimes afforded, if only by the grace of the good Lord above, himself.
That is why I can and do address both you Helena and you Michelle, I implore you both to seek out the help you need, because it wasn't until I found the courage within myself to ask for the help I so desperately needed to escape the strangling duality of a hazy abyss that I found my freedom, my liberation and my new lease on life. And to this day I draw the strength to continue the fight from that courage Michelle, just as you should - and then, maybe just maybe, we will both overcome Helena in our own ways before Lineage comes to a close.
Continue the fight Michelle, not only for your own sake, but for the sake of those you love, for Grace.
She misses you, and she's waiting for you to come home.
You see if this company really wants to make a statement about the state of mental health care in this industry, they need to change their narrative from one of glamorising serious mental health issues to one of championing somebody who overcame them and went on to realise some of her biggest dreams.
Somebody with the proven courage to stand against the darkness without allowing it to consume or control her. Somebody who has already proven her worth as a role model to other aspiring young women, both inside and outside this industry. Somebody who is a loving mother, a devoted wife and a successful businesswoman.
Somebody like me - Kathleen Elizabeth Conway.
Well howdy there pardner.