Post by Kathleen Conway on Aug 6, 2017 12:33:27 GMT
Even up to this point in my life, the path I've taken to get here has never been a straight one, yet I'd like to think that I've done my very best to never stray too far from it. I've done my best to endure every winding turn and embrace every bump along the way - and I'd like to think that I've done all of this with a certain grace and elegance that sets me apart from all of my personal and professional rivals here in the Imperial Wrestling Federation.
It's been almost a decade now since my husband Jake Conway - "The Ace" anointed me his "Queen of Diamonds" - a cutesy moniker, if a little obvious certainly, but then Jake never was one for subtlety. In the early years of my wrestling career, in New Championship Wrestling, that's all it was - a moniker, a label, a wrestling identity borne out of simple association. It was an identity of convenience, an easy way to quickly establish what back then was not only my only reason for being in this business, but also my only claim to fame.
I was The Ace's wife.
A fact that to this day still doesn't get me quite the respect that it should frankly, but I digress. The point is that it is only here now in the Imperial Wrestling Federation that being the "Queen of Diamonds" has become more than a simple point of association.
Who I started out as in this industry and who I am in the business today are worlds apart. Not only has the perception of how the world sees me changed dramatically over the last nine years, but so too has the perception of how I see myself. When I was new to this business, I was also incredibly naive, and it was that wonderful naivety that fostered the sense of contentment that I once found in being defined almost entirely by the man in my life.
It is only now that I've started to appreciate that standing behind my husband does not mean that I also have to stand in his shadow, and that is why I stand here today not in the shadows, but in the spotlight - and it is in that spotlight that I have given not only myself but each of MY Diamonds their opportunities to sparkle, to shine, and to dazzle the watching world.
Some like Paige Garcia have flourished, others like Maxine Valentine have floundered, a select few like Shea O'Hara have even thanked me for every opportunity I ever gave them, every door I opened, and every show of faith I invested in trying to make the Diamonds Division synonymous the world over with the best in female professional wrestling today - but for most of the girls in the back I am not a representative of their best interests, I am simply a target of their deepest resentment.
Somebody they can blame when they're left laying on their back by someone else who wanted it that little bit more on any given night. Somebody they can point to every time they get the loser's paycheck. It is a sad reality of the wrestling business that this business breeds ego in the best of us, and with great talent often comes an even greater ego and with a greater ego comes an even greater fragility.
A fragility that turns vixens into vipers, and right now there is no better example of such abject fragility in this company than the woman I will face at Sacrifice as the winding and bumpy road of my Heiress to the Throne campaign continues - "The Siren" Kate Steele.
A woman who is so utterly uncertain of her place in this business that despite being given every opportunity to succeed in MY Division, almost to the point of excess, would rather take exception to somebody as innocuous as Fiona McFly than capitalise on those opportunities. A woman who would rather nurse a grudge than to put it behind her - a woman who cannot move on with her life so keeps coming back to the same point in her career and her life, like a broken record.
It's almost sad how insistently "The Siren" keeps singing the same old songs over and over again, always promising so much more than she ever delivers. Even now, as Kate Steele sits on the doorstep of another Shieldmaiden opportunity, rather than taking this chance I have given her to show me personally why I was right to still place my faith in her as a legitimate challenge for Shea O'Hara, she instead insists on holding a grudge I myself moved passed when she beat me on June 27th of last year in the Heiress to the Throne - two months after Destiny.
I thought we were well beyond all of this Kate, especially since you have since claimed to understand that you were wrong for mistaking my giving you an opportunity to go down in history as one of the most resilient Shieldmaidens in the company as some sort of convoluted ploy to take your precious title away from you, but if you'd rather live in the past than embrace the future Kate, go right ahead - just don't expect me to continue to believe in you and continue to give you the benefit of the doubt.
Since you've proven that I cannot take you at your word Kate, tell me why I should believe that you will be the next Shieldmaiden?
Better yet, show me.
This Monday at Sacrifice, you have the perfect opportunity to not only make a significant dent in my Heiress to the Throne campaign for the second year in a row, but also to prove your worth as a legitimate contender for the Shieldmaiden once again - and I hope for your sake Kate that you're up to the challenge. If not, then not only will I make sure you regret it, but so too will Shea O'Hara.
Whilst you've been struggling to reclaim your sense of identity from Fiona, Shea has been redefining her own.
Shea O'Hara is everything you will never be, Kate, because rather than find excuses for all of her setbacks like you, she instead found a renewed sense of motivation. A motivation that has driven her to become everything you have only ever dreamed of being - a dragon slayer, a monster hunter, a myth buster and a legend killer.
I know now that it is not enough in this business to simply adopt a moniker and hope that people buy into it without reason, and so if you won't give me a reason to believe in "The Siren" Kate Steele, then come Monday Night I will give you every reason to believe in "The Queen of Diamonds" as I show the world that there is so much more to carrying yourself as professional wrestling royalty - and being a Queen - than simply making proclamations from your throne.
Anybody can carry themselves with grace in victory, Kate.
The real test of character is how you carry yourself in defeat, and in that you have already proven yourself to be utterly graceless. At Lineage I suffered a loss to Helena Sawyer, a fact I could dwell on, deny or seek retribution for, but I haven't and I won't because I respect any of MY Diamonds who are willing to seize every given opportunity to better themselves - even if that opportunity comes at my personal expense.
The self proclaimed Siren may yet give me the match of my life - I hope she does - but I promise you that she will not lure The Queen to her death.
This is not the beginning or the end for either of us Kate, it is just another wave in the tumultuous sea of my life, and I will not be dragged down to the depths in which you have always waded and wallowed for so long, all the while watching the grand ships pass you by.
The Queen Kathleen Elizabeth Conway is already on the horizon.
There was a sense of utter disappointment and absolute failure I felt resonate in my husband as he walked through the curtain, dropped to a knee backstage and embraced his two young daughters.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to Solitaire.
"What for, dad?"
"For letting you guys down, I promised you that I would bring the Imperial Championship home - and I - I couldn't."
"What is it you always tell us, Dad? Being a champion is not about winning every battle, it's about fighting for what you believe in, and believing in something, even when those around you don't, and tonight I saw how much you believed in me Dad, even when Andrew didn't. You fought for me, Dad, you fought because you believed in me - and that is all I asked for, and it is something I will never forget for the rest of my life. You made my wish, my dream come true, Dad. So what if you're not a Champion again? It would have been nice for a little while, but the schedule would have kept you and Mom away longer - and we already don't see you guys as much these days," said Solitaire. "I know its your job, but it still kinda sucks."
Jake locked eyes with me, and for a moment we were mirrors for each other as Solitaire's words hit us both pretty hard. Jake then pulled both his daughters closer, held them tighter.
"Awww, pumpkin, I know it does. It sucks for me too. It really does. So I'll tell you what, this tour will be my last. Once we come home, I'm staying home..."
Solitaire's eyes light up at her father's words.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Mommy too?" Solitaire turned her head expectantly in my direction, as did Jake and Domino.
"Yes, Mommy too," I said, tears in my eyes as I fell into the group hug, surrounded by the only things that mattered to me.
It's been almost a decade now since my husband Jake Conway - "The Ace" anointed me his "Queen of Diamonds" - a cutesy moniker, if a little obvious certainly, but then Jake never was one for subtlety. In the early years of my wrestling career, in New Championship Wrestling, that's all it was - a moniker, a label, a wrestling identity borne out of simple association. It was an identity of convenience, an easy way to quickly establish what back then was not only my only reason for being in this business, but also my only claim to fame.
I was The Ace's wife.
A fact that to this day still doesn't get me quite the respect that it should frankly, but I digress. The point is that it is only here now in the Imperial Wrestling Federation that being the "Queen of Diamonds" has become more than a simple point of association.
Who I started out as in this industry and who I am in the business today are worlds apart. Not only has the perception of how the world sees me changed dramatically over the last nine years, but so too has the perception of how I see myself. When I was new to this business, I was also incredibly naive, and it was that wonderful naivety that fostered the sense of contentment that I once found in being defined almost entirely by the man in my life.
It is only now that I've started to appreciate that standing behind my husband does not mean that I also have to stand in his shadow, and that is why I stand here today not in the shadows, but in the spotlight - and it is in that spotlight that I have given not only myself but each of MY Diamonds their opportunities to sparkle, to shine, and to dazzle the watching world.
Some like Paige Garcia have flourished, others like Maxine Valentine have floundered, a select few like Shea O'Hara have even thanked me for every opportunity I ever gave them, every door I opened, and every show of faith I invested in trying to make the Diamonds Division synonymous the world over with the best in female professional wrestling today - but for most of the girls in the back I am not a representative of their best interests, I am simply a target of their deepest resentment.
Somebody they can blame when they're left laying on their back by someone else who wanted it that little bit more on any given night. Somebody they can point to every time they get the loser's paycheck. It is a sad reality of the wrestling business that this business breeds ego in the best of us, and with great talent often comes an even greater ego and with a greater ego comes an even greater fragility.
A fragility that turns vixens into vipers, and right now there is no better example of such abject fragility in this company than the woman I will face at Sacrifice as the winding and bumpy road of my Heiress to the Throne campaign continues - "The Siren" Kate Steele.
A woman who is so utterly uncertain of her place in this business that despite being given every opportunity to succeed in MY Division, almost to the point of excess, would rather take exception to somebody as innocuous as Fiona McFly than capitalise on those opportunities. A woman who would rather nurse a grudge than to put it behind her - a woman who cannot move on with her life so keeps coming back to the same point in her career and her life, like a broken record.
It's almost sad how insistently "The Siren" keeps singing the same old songs over and over again, always promising so much more than she ever delivers. Even now, as Kate Steele sits on the doorstep of another Shieldmaiden opportunity, rather than taking this chance I have given her to show me personally why I was right to still place my faith in her as a legitimate challenge for Shea O'Hara, she instead insists on holding a grudge I myself moved passed when she beat me on June 27th of last year in the Heiress to the Throne - two months after Destiny.
I thought we were well beyond all of this Kate, especially since you have since claimed to understand that you were wrong for mistaking my giving you an opportunity to go down in history as one of the most resilient Shieldmaidens in the company as some sort of convoluted ploy to take your precious title away from you, but if you'd rather live in the past than embrace the future Kate, go right ahead - just don't expect me to continue to believe in you and continue to give you the benefit of the doubt.
Since you've proven that I cannot take you at your word Kate, tell me why I should believe that you will be the next Shieldmaiden?
Better yet, show me.
This Monday at Sacrifice, you have the perfect opportunity to not only make a significant dent in my Heiress to the Throne campaign for the second year in a row, but also to prove your worth as a legitimate contender for the Shieldmaiden once again - and I hope for your sake Kate that you're up to the challenge. If not, then not only will I make sure you regret it, but so too will Shea O'Hara.
Whilst you've been struggling to reclaim your sense of identity from Fiona, Shea has been redefining her own.
Shea O'Hara is everything you will never be, Kate, because rather than find excuses for all of her setbacks like you, she instead found a renewed sense of motivation. A motivation that has driven her to become everything you have only ever dreamed of being - a dragon slayer, a monster hunter, a myth buster and a legend killer.
I know now that it is not enough in this business to simply adopt a moniker and hope that people buy into it without reason, and so if you won't give me a reason to believe in "The Siren" Kate Steele, then come Monday Night I will give you every reason to believe in "The Queen of Diamonds" as I show the world that there is so much more to carrying yourself as professional wrestling royalty - and being a Queen - than simply making proclamations from your throne.
Anybody can carry themselves with grace in victory, Kate.
The real test of character is how you carry yourself in defeat, and in that you have already proven yourself to be utterly graceless. At Lineage I suffered a loss to Helena Sawyer, a fact I could dwell on, deny or seek retribution for, but I haven't and I won't because I respect any of MY Diamonds who are willing to seize every given opportunity to better themselves - even if that opportunity comes at my personal expense.
The self proclaimed Siren may yet give me the match of my life - I hope she does - but I promise you that she will not lure The Queen to her death.
This is not the beginning or the end for either of us Kate, it is just another wave in the tumultuous sea of my life, and I will not be dragged down to the depths in which you have always waded and wallowed for so long, all the while watching the grand ships pass you by.
The Queen Kathleen Elizabeth Conway is already on the horizon.
There was a sense of utter disappointment and absolute failure I felt resonate in my husband as he walked through the curtain, dropped to a knee backstage and embraced his two young daughters.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to Solitaire.
"What for, dad?"
"For letting you guys down, I promised you that I would bring the Imperial Championship home - and I - I couldn't."
"What is it you always tell us, Dad? Being a champion is not about winning every battle, it's about fighting for what you believe in, and believing in something, even when those around you don't, and tonight I saw how much you believed in me Dad, even when Andrew didn't. You fought for me, Dad, you fought because you believed in me - and that is all I asked for, and it is something I will never forget for the rest of my life. You made my wish, my dream come true, Dad. So what if you're not a Champion again? It would have been nice for a little while, but the schedule would have kept you and Mom away longer - and we already don't see you guys as much these days," said Solitaire. "I know its your job, but it still kinda sucks."
Jake locked eyes with me, and for a moment we were mirrors for each other as Solitaire's words hit us both pretty hard. Jake then pulled both his daughters closer, held them tighter.
"Awww, pumpkin, I know it does. It sucks for me too. It really does. So I'll tell you what, this tour will be my last. Once we come home, I'm staying home..."
Solitaire's eyes light up at her father's words.
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"Mommy too?" Solitaire turned her head expectantly in my direction, as did Jake and Domino.
"Yes, Mommy too," I said, tears in my eyes as I fell into the group hug, surrounded by the only things that mattered to me.
Well howdy there pardner.