Post by Astrid Hall on Feb 25, 2018 19:09:26 GMT
Astrid had been living in the house for several months, now, and had escalated from "visitor" to "permanent resident". As such, Spike and Pandora had weeks ago helped her move all of her belongings into her own room, should the occasion arise where she wanted some privacy. She didn't use the bed in her room often, frequently spending her nights in other rooms of the house, but what free time she spent outside of training was very often spent in this room. When she had first moved in she expected that she would maintain the same sort of spartan lifestyle she'd grown accustomed to while living in her RV - but had surprised herself with how much she was willing to spend on things she'd have once considered unnecessary or superfluous. She owned a notable collection of weapons and suits of armor, and had put them all on display in her room - but after that she had started going out of her way to fill the empty space on the walls. A large shelf was filled with books, containing everything from the biographies of famous wrestlers to a sizable collection of books on runecraft.
Right now, the room was dark - lit only by the small blaze in the fireplace. Astrid herself sat in a chair by the window, gazing out through the gently falling snow in the deepening twilight. The window was open, but she had wrapped herself in a fur blanket to ward away the chill wind. Even she could get cold when she wasn't doing something to keep the blood pumping... and for several days Astrid had been notably still.
The silence of the room was broken by the sound of three gentle knocks on the door. There was a pause of about three seconds before she heard the latch click and the door gently creak open, the newcomer having not bothered to wait for her answer. They both knew that only silence would come from her.
"You missed dinner. Again."
Astrid said nothing, simply sitting and looking out the window as she listened to Pandora's footsteps padding softly across the room. She felt the shift in the air as she came to the side of her chair, kneeling down beside her. Only when Pandora's hand intertwined with her own did her gaze shift from the twilight sky to the sparkling blue of Pandora's eyes.
"Wasn't hungry."
"Liar," Pandora replied, not unkindly. She looked around the room inquisitively before asking: "Have you been taking your meds?"
Astrid was silent for long enough for Pandora to guess the answer. "Astrid..." Pandora shook her head. "It hit you harder than you thought it would, huh?"
"Shortest Shieldmaiden reign on record," Astrid sighed bitterly. "Not a single successful defense. I finally made it, Pan. I finally got what I've been fighting for, the title I've been hungering for since I joined this company. And then before I could do anything with it... gone. Thirteen days, and I lost it to the same woman I won it from. Didn't even have the decency of losing it to someone new. How can I go out there and face them after that? What right do I have to be involved in a match to challenge for the Diamonds belt after such a pathetic performance? Maxine Valentine proved a better Shieldmaiden than I did."
"You're technically tied with Shea," Pandora corrected, "and she's not a failure. It wasn't that bad, Astrid..."
"It was!" she snapped back, anger lighting up her eyes. "I'd beaten her twice, Pandora. Twice. I had no excuse for losing that match, no excuse for losing the title to her like that. At least when Shea lost her first Shieldmaiden reign it wasn't to someone she'd beaten twice in the past month. There's no excuse for it! I wasn't holding back, I wasn't hoping that she'd win to preserve her career. I wanted to win, I fought to win, I wanted to be the one to give Rayne the chance to go out on her shield, and I failed. I failed myself, I failed the Shield Wall, and I failed you."
She sagged in her seat, almost seeming to collapse into herself, voice beginning to shake as she spoke. "You helped bring me back. Convinced me that I deserved to be here. All that effort, all that faith in me, and I let you down. Choked when it mattered, just like they've always said. How can I justify sharing a ring with you and fighting for a belt I don't even come close to deserving?"
Pandora wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tight. "Don't talk like that. Don't. Not ever. You haven't let me down, not even a little. You're still my Valkyr. You still were able to stand strong at Metamorphosis and take it off of her. You had a reign, and you're NOT a failure. You'll rally, because you always do. You'll rally because you're stronger than you let yourself believe you are, and because you'll never have to do it alone. I still believe in you, Astrid. Honestly, after the beating Maxine gave you in that Dog Collar match, you should be proud you were still able to walk without a limp so quickly, much less put on one of the best matches of the year so far..."
Astrid tensed, her muscles all stiffening as her body went rigid. "What did you say?"
Pandora arched an eyebrow. "Just... you know, Maxine ran you through one hell of a beating. You're the only one who was in that match who had to fight just one week later. Everyone else got the week off to recover. You did everything you could..."
"Valentine," Astrid whispered. "She's booked in that gauntlet match, isn't she?"
"I mean... yeah, she is."
"She broke into my home," Astrid hissed slowly. "Beat me in a parking lot with her thugs. Attacked my mind, despoiled the Shieldmaiden belt... and then..."
She rose abruptly to her feet, breathing heavily as she stared once again out into the night sky. Pandora followed her, tentatively resting a hand on her shoulder. "Astrid, are you..."
"I'm fine, Pan," Astrid replied, her voice carrying a razor-sharp edge. "I know what I have to do."
There is no special setting. No armor. No props. No costume. Only Astrid, sitting in simple jeans and a white tank-top, in an empty and featureless room, sitting on a steel chair.
Right now, the room was dark - lit only by the small blaze in the fireplace. Astrid herself sat in a chair by the window, gazing out through the gently falling snow in the deepening twilight. The window was open, but she had wrapped herself in a fur blanket to ward away the chill wind. Even she could get cold when she wasn't doing something to keep the blood pumping... and for several days Astrid had been notably still.
The silence of the room was broken by the sound of three gentle knocks on the door. There was a pause of about three seconds before she heard the latch click and the door gently creak open, the newcomer having not bothered to wait for her answer. They both knew that only silence would come from her.
"You missed dinner. Again."
Astrid said nothing, simply sitting and looking out the window as she listened to Pandora's footsteps padding softly across the room. She felt the shift in the air as she came to the side of her chair, kneeling down beside her. Only when Pandora's hand intertwined with her own did her gaze shift from the twilight sky to the sparkling blue of Pandora's eyes.
"Wasn't hungry."
"Liar," Pandora replied, not unkindly. She looked around the room inquisitively before asking: "Have you been taking your meds?"
Astrid was silent for long enough for Pandora to guess the answer. "Astrid..." Pandora shook her head. "It hit you harder than you thought it would, huh?"
"Shortest Shieldmaiden reign on record," Astrid sighed bitterly. "Not a single successful defense. I finally made it, Pan. I finally got what I've been fighting for, the title I've been hungering for since I joined this company. And then before I could do anything with it... gone. Thirteen days, and I lost it to the same woman I won it from. Didn't even have the decency of losing it to someone new. How can I go out there and face them after that? What right do I have to be involved in a match to challenge for the Diamonds belt after such a pathetic performance? Maxine Valentine proved a better Shieldmaiden than I did."
"You're technically tied with Shea," Pandora corrected, "and she's not a failure. It wasn't that bad, Astrid..."
"It was!" she snapped back, anger lighting up her eyes. "I'd beaten her twice, Pandora. Twice. I had no excuse for losing that match, no excuse for losing the title to her like that. At least when Shea lost her first Shieldmaiden reign it wasn't to someone she'd beaten twice in the past month. There's no excuse for it! I wasn't holding back, I wasn't hoping that she'd win to preserve her career. I wanted to win, I fought to win, I wanted to be the one to give Rayne the chance to go out on her shield, and I failed. I failed myself, I failed the Shield Wall, and I failed you."
She sagged in her seat, almost seeming to collapse into herself, voice beginning to shake as she spoke. "You helped bring me back. Convinced me that I deserved to be here. All that effort, all that faith in me, and I let you down. Choked when it mattered, just like they've always said. How can I justify sharing a ring with you and fighting for a belt I don't even come close to deserving?"
Pandora wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tight. "Don't talk like that. Don't. Not ever. You haven't let me down, not even a little. You're still my Valkyr. You still were able to stand strong at Metamorphosis and take it off of her. You had a reign, and you're NOT a failure. You'll rally, because you always do. You'll rally because you're stronger than you let yourself believe you are, and because you'll never have to do it alone. I still believe in you, Astrid. Honestly, after the beating Maxine gave you in that Dog Collar match, you should be proud you were still able to walk without a limp so quickly, much less put on one of the best matches of the year so far..."
Astrid tensed, her muscles all stiffening as her body went rigid. "What did you say?"
Pandora arched an eyebrow. "Just... you know, Maxine ran you through one hell of a beating. You're the only one who was in that match who had to fight just one week later. Everyone else got the week off to recover. You did everything you could..."
"Valentine," Astrid whispered. "She's booked in that gauntlet match, isn't she?"
"I mean... yeah, she is."
"She broke into my home," Astrid hissed slowly. "Beat me in a parking lot with her thugs. Attacked my mind, despoiled the Shieldmaiden belt... and then..."
She rose abruptly to her feet, breathing heavily as she stared once again out into the night sky. Pandora followed her, tentatively resting a hand on her shoulder. "Astrid, are you..."
"I'm fine, Pan," Astrid replied, her voice carrying a razor-sharp edge. "I know what I have to do."
There is no special setting. No armor. No props. No costume. Only Astrid, sitting in simple jeans and a white tank-top, in an empty and featureless room, sitting on a steel chair.
"The Pack plays a very damn dangerous game. They fight to get under people's skin. They love coaxing the darker elements of people out of them, trying to bring everyone down to their level. They hit people where it hurts the most, making people mad, trying to get people to lose control. They push and they push and they push, heedless of the pain they inflict not just on their victims, but those innocent bystanders around them. They have shown again and again that they see bringing that darkness out of people to be victory in and of itself, that if they make someone mad enough that their usual values don't matter as much as satisfying their rage, then they've somehow managed a victory.
Their reckless short-sightedness will cost them everything they've attained. They will learn that cruelty has a cost... and that there is some darkness, some anger, that is best left untouched.
You should have let sleeping dogs lie, Maxine. After I beat you in that match that ripped the building apart in our wake, you should have left me be. Gone off and done your thing and tried so desperately not to draw my attention. But you just couldn't, could you? You just had to keep pushing. Had to keep coming after me, in the ring, in my home, in your promos... you keep trying to twist the knife, keep trying to play your little mind games and get me to unleash whatever it is you thought was buried deep inside.
Someone like Vivienne Rodgers would tell Maxine that she won't give her the satisfaction. She'd take the noble path, the good path, the path where she chooses to keep her anger in check, to hold true to being good no matter what she was forced to endure. I admire that about Vivienne. Right now, I almost envy it - I almost wish that I was going to say the same thing.
But I'm not. And I know, when this is over, I'm going to regret it... but not as much as Maxine and Brooklyn are going to.
You wanted my rage? You wanted my darkness? You wanted every single one of my inner demons unleashed, thinking that somehow it will make you the 'winner'? You want to see what happens when I let loose, when I stop letting myself care so much about the cost of really taking off the chains and letting myself go?
You have no idea what you're opening yourselves up to.
Alexis. Gabriella. Pan. I'm sorry to all of you, but I'm not going to be giving you what you deserve in this match. You are all great wrestlers capable of very great things, and two of you I haven't even been able to share as much time in the ring as I would like to. All three of you deserve to be Diamonds Champion in your own right. All three of you deserve to have the whole of my focus, the best of my skills. All three of you deserve to be treated equally among the four other women in this match who I will be testing my might against... but the truth is? None of you are my concern. When it comes to the results of this match... I don't care about you. One of you may well win in part because I won't be giving you the attention that by all rights you've earned - and honestly, I'm fine with that. One of you should be the next Diamonds Champion. I'm not in the mood to take that away from you if it means turning my eyes away from what must be done. Because right now?
The destruction of Maxine Valentine and all she holds dear is the only thing that matters to me.
I have had enough. Enough of Maxine Valentine's games, enough of The Pack's mocking laughter. I have had enough of them trying to bring out the worst in this company, and I am definitely sick of their reign of terror over the Diamonds Division since their inception. Since The Pack was formed, there has not been a single day where they haven't held one of either the Diamonds Championship or the Shieldmaiden. Rowan, Maxine and Brooklyn have all been holding the women's division in a stranglehold, and I am sick of them using that power to try to drive all of us into even deeper darkness. I tried to find a way to break that influence by turning the Shieldmaiden into a force of good, a beacon of light that could be used to drive their demons away... but that opportunity has passed.
So now the only choice it seems I have left is to beat them until they are ragged and bloody, no longer able to stand, much less influence the rest of the division to become like them.
Perhaps I am giving them a pyrrhic victory by letting them get to me as much as they have. Maybe Maxine will gloat about how I have let myself go to the place where I long resisted going. Maybe she'd even be right to do so. But I am sick of letting my personal pride in my honor keep me from putting them down with the finality that they demand. Sometimes in order to do the right thing, you have to stop trying to be the hero all the time. Sometimes you have to take a breath, crack your neck, and let the hate flow.
If it takes me briefly becoming a monster to keep them from making innocents suffer... then how can I call myself a hero by refusing to let myself do so?
So Maxine? It doesn't matter that there are three other women in that ring. I'm going to ignore them. I don't care if that means they win. I don't care if that means that one of them wins by pinning ME. As long as I can do everything in my power to make sure that you suffer, that you DON'T win that match... I'm going to walk away happy. If my bloody-minded focus on ripping you limb from limb ends up being what I need to win this match overall? All the better. Because then I get to leave you broken, forced to helplessly watch as I come for your cub's belt.
You see Maxine... in fact, all of the Pack. I made the mistake of treating you people like... people. But now I understand better. Now I understand what this company really needs. It needs someone willing to do whatever needs to be done to put the animals down. Because Maxine was right about one thing - I have been holding back. Ever since I was a child, I've felt like I've been living in a world made of glass. Always having to take special care not to break something - to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone I care about could get seriously hurt. But now you've convinced me that the only thing that I can to to make sure you never hurt anyone again is to cut loose... and show you how dangerous I really am. Doesn't that make you happy? I've finally bought what you've been selling. I'm going to show you what it feels like to be deconstructed. To be the victim. To watch your dreams die.
And no matter what you might think now... I assure you that when its all over, it won't feel like you 'won' by getting me to let that wrath out of its cage. All you will feel agony as I inflict on you everything you've inflicted upon myself and others during your reign of terror. And when its all over, Maxine, I want you to remember one thing as you watch me rip your Pack apart with my bare hands...
YOU ASKED FOR THIS.
I have had enough. Enough of Maxine Valentine's games, enough of The Pack's mocking laughter. I have had enough of them trying to bring out the worst in this company, and I am definitely sick of their reign of terror over the Diamonds Division since their inception. Since The Pack was formed, there has not been a single day where they haven't held one of either the Diamonds Championship or the Shieldmaiden. Rowan, Maxine and Brooklyn have all been holding the women's division in a stranglehold, and I am sick of them using that power to try to drive all of us into even deeper darkness. I tried to find a way to break that influence by turning the Shieldmaiden into a force of good, a beacon of light that could be used to drive their demons away... but that opportunity has passed.
So now the only choice it seems I have left is to beat them until they are ragged and bloody, no longer able to stand, much less influence the rest of the division to become like them.
Perhaps I am giving them a pyrrhic victory by letting them get to me as much as they have. Maybe Maxine will gloat about how I have let myself go to the place where I long resisted going. Maybe she'd even be right to do so. But I am sick of letting my personal pride in my honor keep me from putting them down with the finality that they demand. Sometimes in order to do the right thing, you have to stop trying to be the hero all the time. Sometimes you have to take a breath, crack your neck, and let the hate flow.
If it takes me briefly becoming a monster to keep them from making innocents suffer... then how can I call myself a hero by refusing to let myself do so?
So Maxine? It doesn't matter that there are three other women in that ring. I'm going to ignore them. I don't care if that means they win. I don't care if that means that one of them wins by pinning ME. As long as I can do everything in my power to make sure that you suffer, that you DON'T win that match... I'm going to walk away happy. If my bloody-minded focus on ripping you limb from limb ends up being what I need to win this match overall? All the better. Because then I get to leave you broken, forced to helplessly watch as I come for your cub's belt.
You see Maxine... in fact, all of the Pack. I made the mistake of treating you people like... people. But now I understand better. Now I understand what this company really needs. It needs someone willing to do whatever needs to be done to put the animals down. Because Maxine was right about one thing - I have been holding back. Ever since I was a child, I've felt like I've been living in a world made of glass. Always having to take special care not to break something - to break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone I care about could get seriously hurt. But now you've convinced me that the only thing that I can to to make sure you never hurt anyone again is to cut loose... and show you how dangerous I really am. Doesn't that make you happy? I've finally bought what you've been selling. I'm going to show you what it feels like to be deconstructed. To be the victim. To watch your dreams die.
And no matter what you might think now... I assure you that when its all over, it won't feel like you 'won' by getting me to let that wrath out of its cage. All you will feel agony as I inflict on you everything you've inflicted upon myself and others during your reign of terror. And when its all over, Maxine, I want you to remember one thing as you watch me rip your Pack apart with my bare hands...
YOU ASKED FOR THIS.
Well howdy there pardner.