Post by Zasshu II on Feb 25, 2018 21:04:26 GMT
To say my life has been a roller coaster ride lately would be the understatement of the year. I’ve won, lost and won again my first ever singles championship. I’ve faced the single toughest opponent I’ve ever had the honor to share a ring with three times, lost twice and beat her finally. I’ve exposed a sick and disgusting person for the vile vermin that he is and now dozens of other women have stepped forward.
I’ve also lost the woman I love…
Through all of that I have endured, you could even say I have thrived inside of the squared circle but if I’m being perfectly honest I’ve never been so tired in my entire life. I feel like if I allowed myself I could sleep for an entire year. My knees scream with every squat, my back aches regardless if I stand or sit and my mind?
It feels like the worst hangover I’ve ever had.
But I can’t stop. I can’t rest on my laurels. I can’t ease up because the second I do everything I’ve accomplished will be taken away from me. And I’m not just talking about the Shieldmaiden Championship. I’m talking about the cause I’ve taken up. I need to be an example for all the women out there who are too afraid or hurt to stand up and point a finger at those who’ve harmed them.
I can’t stop.
So I won’t stop.
No matter how much it hurts, no matter how horrible I feel I will continue to fight, I will continue to endure, I will continue to thrive until it kills me. And it likely will. But I can’t rest knowing there are still women out there who look to me for help.
This Sunday Night I am stepping into a match where the odds of me winning are against me. I’m stepping into a match with two of the best wrestlers on the roster, male or female, and one woman I know better than the back of my hand. I know it’s unlikely for me to pin or submit anyone in this match. I know it’s an almost certainty I will lose the Shieldmaiden Championship for the second. I know we may well have another new champion crowned.
But that won’t slow me down.
I will be stepping into that ring with the intent to walk out with my Shieldmaiden Championship. I will push my doubts, my fears and my pain aside and I will wrestle my goddamn heart out. If I’m lucky, I will retain this championship and live to call myself a champion for another day.
I know you all feel the same way.
I’m not delusional, I know my determination isn’t unique. I just have to hope my willpower is just a little bit stronger than yours, that you all are just a little under prepared, that my years inside the professional wrestling ring will give me the advantage to find and exploit an opening when one presents itself.
I just have to hope I’m better.
That’s a tall order when I look across the ring and see Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer. I’m not going to bore you with character outlines but you are both amazing competitors. You’re both every bit as good or better than some of the best wrestlers the IWF has ever known. You’re both future legends in the making. I know you’re both going to give me the fight of my life, perhaps you’ll be even more challenging than Astrid Hall. You have that potential. That ability. You will be champions someday.
But not Sunday.
I have to remain confident going into this match, I have to think that I am just that little bit better than the both of you. I have to say I am going to win because if I doubt myself for even a second I may as well lay my championship at your feet and head back to the locker room. You’re both very good but are you better than me? That is the question you need to ask yourselves. I already know the answer though.
No, you aren’t.
I’ve been doing this longer than either of you have been alive. I’ve faced insurmountable odds before. I’ve overcome them. I know what it takes to survive a match like this. I know how to pick my spots. I know how to isolate the weakest opponent and wait for the opportunity to defeat them. That’s the key in a match like this, you don’t fight everyone, you find just one person, the one you know is going to stumble the most and you exploit them.
You probably think I’m foolish for giving away my game plan but it is the duty of the old to teach the young. One day Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer will be the veterans in a big match and it is with that thought in mind that I impart my knowledge on you.
You may have noticed I haven’t mentioned Crystal Millar yet.
That is on purpose.
Crystal Millar doesn’t belong in this match. She doesn’t belong near the Shieldmaiden Championship. She doesn’t deserve to stand shoulder to shoulder with Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer as my competition. I’m sorry Crystal, I know you so badly want to be my best friend again and maybe one day we will get there but it isn’t my job to stand here and praise you. My job is to step inside a professional wrestling ring and kick your ass. My job is to stand here and tell you why you’re not going to take this Shieldmaiden Championship away from me. And that part is simple.
I’m better than you.
I know everything about you, your strengths, your glaring weaknesses. I’ve beaten you several times over the last few months and I will beat you again. I will separate you from Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer, I will break you down and when the time is right I will pin your shoulders to the mat again and walk out of this match victorious.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Crystal, you don’t belong in IWF. You’ve never been a great wrestler, you never will be. I respect your determination to keep trying but at the end of the day Crystal Millar is just another face in the crowd. You bring nothing to the table. You’re unexceptional in every way imaginable. Essentially you’re cannon fodder for the real professional wrestlers in this company.
The truth hurts.
I’ve overcome greater obstacles than this fatal four way but not many. One way or the other I will endure.
Kayden: Where Mama?
{ The voice of her toddler broke Rayne out of her depressive silence as she sat up on the couch and looked down at the boy playing with blocks on the floor. }
Rayne: Mama is…
{ Rayne went silent, this wasn’t the first time Kayden asked where Ayla was but everytime he asked she found it harder and harder to lie to him. Usually she says Ayla went on a little vacation but weeks had passed now and the toddler wasn’t a moron. He knew something was wrong. He’s seen Rayne crying at night. }
Rayne: Mama-
{ Rayne was cut off by the sound of the front door unlocking. Both her and Kayden turned their attention to the door where Ayla now stepped through. }
Kayden: MAMA!
{ The toddler popped up from his blocks and ran around the couch as fast as he possibly could and all but leapt into the waiting arms of Ayla who was both happy and crying as she hugged him tight. }
Ayla: Hey baby.
Kayden: I miss you.
Ayla: I missed you too.
{ Ayla cradled Kayden in her arms as she made eye contact with Rayne. Rayne was a storm of emotions as she looked at the woman she loves. She was angry that she’d been gone so long but happy to see her again. }
Ayla: Hey.
Rayne: Hey.
{ Both women were at a loss for words. Ayla was still incredibly upset and hurt. Rayne more than anything wanted to hold her but neither woman knew what to do in this moment. }
Rayne: Ayla, I’m-
Ayla: Don’t.
{ Ayla slowly walked around the couch and sat down near Rayne but not next to her. }
Ayla: Just let me hold our son for a while.
Rayne: Ok.
{ Ayla turned her attention back to Kayden who was still holding her as tightly as he possibly could. Rayne on the other hand just looked at the floor, a jumble of emotions, she wanted to pour her heart out to the woman who asked for a divorce but she knew pressing the matter wasn’t going to make things better. }
Kayden: Mama stay?
{ Rayne looked over at the two as Ayla just looked into the little boys eyes. }
Ayla: Yeah baby… Mama isn’t going anywhere.
{ Ayla hesitated and looked over to Rayne who was hopeful that meant the whole divorce thing was over but the look in Ayla’s eyes told a different story. Ayla was just telling Kayden what he wanted to hear. }
Rayne: I-
{ Rayne paused. }
Ryane: Are you going to be around for a while, I have a match?
Ayla: Yeah.
{ Ayla sounded cold, uncaring and hurt Rayne but she couldn’t sit around here and feel sorry for herself. For the moment Ayla was back and taking care of their son and Rayne did have a match to prepare for. No matter what happens next she knew she had to endure. }
I’ve also lost the woman I love…
Through all of that I have endured, you could even say I have thrived inside of the squared circle but if I’m being perfectly honest I’ve never been so tired in my entire life. I feel like if I allowed myself I could sleep for an entire year. My knees scream with every squat, my back aches regardless if I stand or sit and my mind?
It feels like the worst hangover I’ve ever had.
But I can’t stop. I can’t rest on my laurels. I can’t ease up because the second I do everything I’ve accomplished will be taken away from me. And I’m not just talking about the Shieldmaiden Championship. I’m talking about the cause I’ve taken up. I need to be an example for all the women out there who are too afraid or hurt to stand up and point a finger at those who’ve harmed them.
I can’t stop.
So I won’t stop.
No matter how much it hurts, no matter how horrible I feel I will continue to fight, I will continue to endure, I will continue to thrive until it kills me. And it likely will. But I can’t rest knowing there are still women out there who look to me for help.
This Sunday Night I am stepping into a match where the odds of me winning are against me. I’m stepping into a match with two of the best wrestlers on the roster, male or female, and one woman I know better than the back of my hand. I know it’s unlikely for me to pin or submit anyone in this match. I know it’s an almost certainty I will lose the Shieldmaiden Championship for the second. I know we may well have another new champion crowned.
But that won’t slow me down.
I will be stepping into that ring with the intent to walk out with my Shieldmaiden Championship. I will push my doubts, my fears and my pain aside and I will wrestle my goddamn heart out. If I’m lucky, I will retain this championship and live to call myself a champion for another day.
I know you all feel the same way.
I’m not delusional, I know my determination isn’t unique. I just have to hope my willpower is just a little bit stronger than yours, that you all are just a little under prepared, that my years inside the professional wrestling ring will give me the advantage to find and exploit an opening when one presents itself.
I just have to hope I’m better.
That’s a tall order when I look across the ring and see Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer. I’m not going to bore you with character outlines but you are both amazing competitors. You’re both every bit as good or better than some of the best wrestlers the IWF has ever known. You’re both future legends in the making. I know you’re both going to give me the fight of my life, perhaps you’ll be even more challenging than Astrid Hall. You have that potential. That ability. You will be champions someday.
But not Sunday.
I have to remain confident going into this match, I have to think that I am just that little bit better than the both of you. I have to say I am going to win because if I doubt myself for even a second I may as well lay my championship at your feet and head back to the locker room. You’re both very good but are you better than me? That is the question you need to ask yourselves. I already know the answer though.
No, you aren’t.
I’ve been doing this longer than either of you have been alive. I’ve faced insurmountable odds before. I’ve overcome them. I know what it takes to survive a match like this. I know how to pick my spots. I know how to isolate the weakest opponent and wait for the opportunity to defeat them. That’s the key in a match like this, you don’t fight everyone, you find just one person, the one you know is going to stumble the most and you exploit them.
You probably think I’m foolish for giving away my game plan but it is the duty of the old to teach the young. One day Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer will be the veterans in a big match and it is with that thought in mind that I impart my knowledge on you.
You may have noticed I haven’t mentioned Crystal Millar yet.
That is on purpose.
Crystal Millar doesn’t belong in this match. She doesn’t belong near the Shieldmaiden Championship. She doesn’t deserve to stand shoulder to shoulder with Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer as my competition. I’m sorry Crystal, I know you so badly want to be my best friend again and maybe one day we will get there but it isn’t my job to stand here and praise you. My job is to step inside a professional wrestling ring and kick your ass. My job is to stand here and tell you why you’re not going to take this Shieldmaiden Championship away from me. And that part is simple.
I’m better than you.
I know everything about you, your strengths, your glaring weaknesses. I’ve beaten you several times over the last few months and I will beat you again. I will separate you from Vivienne Rodgers and Abigail Spencer, I will break you down and when the time is right I will pin your shoulders to the mat again and walk out of this match victorious.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Crystal, you don’t belong in IWF. You’ve never been a great wrestler, you never will be. I respect your determination to keep trying but at the end of the day Crystal Millar is just another face in the crowd. You bring nothing to the table. You’re unexceptional in every way imaginable. Essentially you’re cannon fodder for the real professional wrestlers in this company.
The truth hurts.
I’ve overcome greater obstacles than this fatal four way but not many. One way or the other I will endure.
Kayden: Where Mama?
{ The voice of her toddler broke Rayne out of her depressive silence as she sat up on the couch and looked down at the boy playing with blocks on the floor. }
Rayne: Mama is…
{ Rayne went silent, this wasn’t the first time Kayden asked where Ayla was but everytime he asked she found it harder and harder to lie to him. Usually she says Ayla went on a little vacation but weeks had passed now and the toddler wasn’t a moron. He knew something was wrong. He’s seen Rayne crying at night. }
Rayne: Mama-
{ Rayne was cut off by the sound of the front door unlocking. Both her and Kayden turned their attention to the door where Ayla now stepped through. }
Kayden: MAMA!
{ The toddler popped up from his blocks and ran around the couch as fast as he possibly could and all but leapt into the waiting arms of Ayla who was both happy and crying as she hugged him tight. }
Ayla: Hey baby.
Kayden: I miss you.
Ayla: I missed you too.
{ Ayla cradled Kayden in her arms as she made eye contact with Rayne. Rayne was a storm of emotions as she looked at the woman she loves. She was angry that she’d been gone so long but happy to see her again. }
Ayla: Hey.
Rayne: Hey.
{ Both women were at a loss for words. Ayla was still incredibly upset and hurt. Rayne more than anything wanted to hold her but neither woman knew what to do in this moment. }
Rayne: Ayla, I’m-
Ayla: Don’t.
{ Ayla slowly walked around the couch and sat down near Rayne but not next to her. }
Ayla: Just let me hold our son for a while.
Rayne: Ok.
{ Ayla turned her attention back to Kayden who was still holding her as tightly as he possibly could. Rayne on the other hand just looked at the floor, a jumble of emotions, she wanted to pour her heart out to the woman who asked for a divorce but she knew pressing the matter wasn’t going to make things better. }
Kayden: Mama stay?
{ Rayne looked over at the two as Ayla just looked into the little boys eyes. }
Ayla: Yeah baby… Mama isn’t going anywhere.
{ Ayla hesitated and looked over to Rayne who was hopeful that meant the whole divorce thing was over but the look in Ayla’s eyes told a different story. Ayla was just telling Kayden what he wanted to hear. }
Rayne: I-
{ Rayne paused. }
Ryane: Are you going to be around for a while, I have a match?
Ayla: Yeah.
{ Ayla sounded cold, uncaring and hurt Rayne but she couldn’t sit around here and feel sorry for herself. For the moment Ayla was back and taking care of their son and Rayne did have a match to prepare for. No matter what happens next she knew she had to endure. }
Well howdy there pardner.