Post by Alexis Caffrey on Feb 26, 2018 4:43:06 GMT
There’s a duality in this profession. We enter an arena and we’re expected to be someone that perhaps is totally different from the person we are in everyday life. Two weeks ago, I looked into a camera and I told you all that I couldn’t do that.
We see Alexis in front of me her face buried in her knees, a hood covering her head. It’s a gloomy day, and an overall somber tone that can’t be ignored. She slowly lifts her head, her narrow gaze peeking through the opening in the hood.
That was an understatement. I was so ravaged with pain, so filled with sorrow that it just wasn’t possible. I think back on the time I had with the one woman on this planet that understood me better than anyone else and I don’t focus on the bad, but on the good. We had holidays that others would look at as “trash”, I viewed as a blessing.
Very similar to my career ups and downs, and I remember every time that something bad would happen she would be the one to bring me to a new promise. I had my first attempts at glory here in the IWF and they didn’t go my way. When I thought I had tried everything and should go back to simply accompanying my husband to the ring, it was my mother who brought me back to my senses, and what happened next? The highest of highs...the best year of my career, winning the Iron Maiden, and winning the Diamonds Title on two separate occasions, which would then lead to the Hall of Fame status that I enjoy today.
There was a sigh that was only slightly audible.
Then I got hurt, and what I once loved was taken from me. While rehabbing, and getting myself fit again, it was my mother who was there to push me. She made me stick to the track, and it was her who made sure I wouldn’t sit there in sorrow, wallowing in my own misery. She made sure I was fueled to go farther than I have before, and it was her who pointed me to this very moment, a moment to rise above the competition once more and once more claim that lovely little championship...as mine.
Rather than a sigh, the next breath is deep but controlled. That breath is concentrated as is her focus.
So I came back. I didn’t know how much time I’d have with my mother, but this run, this situation I find myself in is all because of her, and now I deem it as all for her. It starts at Danger Zone, it starts with this Gauntlet and it doesn’t matter if I enter first, or enter last, once that dust settles, there is but one who will remain in that ring, her hand raised in victory, a shot at glory on the line, and that one person will be…me.
She crosses her legs beneath her, reaching up and slowly moving the hood back from her head, revealing her dark straightened hair and her cold brown eyes. She holds that hand in front of her with four fingers stuck up toward the sky.
Three of the four women, who haven’t been to the top of the almighty mountain. You three have never tasted the sweet nectar of success. Try and try as you might, you’ll never be able to replicate it. So instead, you fight for it. Whether you be the loud mouth that is Gabriela Luna, who was shut up nicely a couple of weeks back, or you’re the outsider brought into a group of misfit toys, or a viking princess, you all have the same goal, the same craving, only because you don’t know what it is you’re hoping for.
Sometimes, it’s not the size of the competitor, I’ve proven that all of my life. Who would have thought that a slender little twig like me could hold the Diamonds Title and defend it for as long as I did? That’s why people like Maxine and Astrid don’t bother me.
I mean, what if they’re the ones who start this thing? Do the two of you really see yourselves having the stamina to last the entire way? Do you really think you have what it takes to get to the end?
She shakes her head.
I don’t.
You’ll throw your punches, and use your sizes and your strengths until you can’t do so anymore, then what?
She cocks her head to the side, a smile on her face.
Nothing...not a single thing because that’s when I’m going to strike! For the littlest dog in this fight has the most heart, and I assure you all, the most sinister of bites.
She stands up.
So bring your size, because trust me when I tell you, I’m not going to treat you lightly. Trust me when I tell you that I know every single thing you’re capable of. Also ladies, trust me when I tell you...I’m not afraid of either of you. For as good as you portray yourselves to be, as much bravado and warrior paint as you hide behind...I’ve been there, and I’ve done that, and trust me when I tell you...I can’t wait to do it all over again.
**********************************
”February 25, 2018”
I’m sitting on the bed in the hotel room, and as I go through the things in my bag, my eyes are drawn upward toward a picture stuck in the band of the netting of my suitcase. I flip the lid back over and sit back into the throw pillows. As I gaze down on the printed memory, a picture of my mother and I at a young age, I can’t help but let a tear trickle down my cheek.
I stare and know that I was only five years old in that picture, and the picture itself while representing a memory, also represented a tough time when it came down to capturing this memory or some other opportunity. My mother turned that opportunity down and chose to be able to live with that memory forever.
My mother did so much for me that quantifying it is impossible, and it’s why I miss her so much to this day.
One though can only let that show for so long. Eventually, the mourning has to get a little easier, and life has to resume as normal as possible with that one important piece missing out of it. I take a deep sigh and pull the picture in, kissing it before leaning forward and replacing it in the spot from which I took it. I then scoot back into the pillows, pulling my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them as I stare out the window.
I was in such a trance that I didn’t even notice Mike walk into the room.
Mike Laszlo: You okay?
I didn’t answer, I just kept my gaze aimed out the window.
Mike Laszlo: Lexi?
Still no answer as he walked over and I felt the bend of the mattress as he sat down and moved in closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
Mike Laszlo: It’s okay to miss her still. It’s only been a couple weeks, and obviously that is one of the biggest pieces of your life.
I slowly shook my head from one side to the other.
Alexis Caffrey: That’s just it...I don’t.
He pulled away from me for a moment, and as I turned my head, I noticed the look of confusion on his face.
Alexis Caffrey: I miss being near her. I miss talking to her on the phone. I miss getting advice from her. I don’t miss her though because she’s never gone, and will always be looking down on me with that infectious smile. I know that she still wishes me the best, it just…
I turn to the window again…
Alexis Caffrey: It just sucks that I won’t get to physically hear it again.
I feel his grasp tighten a bit.
Mike Laszlo: It’s a hard road to travel. I’ve lost both of my parents now, as you know, and while with my dad I just wish things were different, I miss my mother every single moment of every single day. I wish she could see the man I’ve become. I wish she could see all of my accomplishments, meet my daughter, meet you. There’s just so much that I didn’t get to share with her, and that’s one thing that I think you can take some comfort in. Your mother saw you achieve your dream. She saw you fight your battles both in life, and professionally, and she was able to tell you she’s proud of you. So now, any time that you’re feeling down, or you’re feeling like you can’t do something, you can replay that voice, you can hear her say she’s proud of you and a piece of you can feel that warm sensation deep in your heart. You have something to hold onto, and honestly, that’s all you can ask for. And…
He pulls me in to the point where I simply fall into his chest.
Mike Laszlo: If you need a little bit more...you always have me.
I closed my eyes, a smirk crawling across my face. I grabbed at his arms wrapped around me and squeezed as the scene fades.
**********************************
I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting Pandora.
The scene opens back up and we see my wife sitting on the steps of a building in the city. Her jeans, torn at various points, her tank top exposing her tanned arms, and her sunglasses shielding her eyes from the rays of the sun that barrels down from the sky above as she points to the side.
The two earlier could be crumbled up in a big giant ball because honestly they’re similar, but I felt like focusing on you because you HAVE been there. You defeated my protege at Night of the Immortals, the same show I won at, and like me, you lost rather quickly...then things changed. When you had a chance to regain your glory...unlike me...you went nowhere. Your biggest claim to fame nowadays is being the arm candy on Spike Kane.
She shakes her head.
I’m sure a lot of people had higher aspirations for you. Some might have made the comparison to me, someone who’s not quite the “size” that people look for, or the attitude that people look for. You’re a little weird, and trust me of all people, there’s nothing wrong with that. Then the comparisons fell to the wayside, and that there’s plenty wrong with.
She pulls her hair back behind her ears, her eyebrows raising above her sunglasses as she dismissively shrugs her shoulders.
And you have nobody to blame but yourself.
She points into the lens of the camera.
You had the whole world in your hands, and what did you do? You tossed it to the side like a piece of trash, and quite frankly, as a competitor, as a former champion, as a hall of famer, it kinda disgusts me.
She points to herself.
So allow me to introduce myself. I’m Alexis Caffrey, and at Danger Zone, I’m going to show you what a real champion looks like.
She stands up from the stairs and pulls up her jeans, the breeze blowing through her hair as she looks around from side to side. She holds out her hands.
Then there’s one more to go. She’s the one who called me out at Open Fight Night. She’s the one who puffed out her chest and said she’s going to beat me down for costing her a title shot months ago. So now, here we are. We’re in your country, and girl you’ve got the big huge hometown advantage.
Gabriela, this is your chance to shine on what might be the biggest stage you can get right now. This is the time for you to take all those words that you spout off on a weekly basis and make them mean something. This is your chance to put up and shut up, because, well, at least, when it comes to you and me, you’re just not able to do that.
She holds out her hands and just spins in place.
Maybe this will help you out? Maybe being around your native people will give you that extra little boost you need to finally get over the hump.
She shrugs.
Or maybe, it’s just the opposite. Maybe, you’re going to step into that arena, walk down that ramp, and enter the ring, and the bad part of being in your hometown is the part that nobody wants to talk about. It’s the pressure of performing in front of all your family sitting at ringside. It’s the weight of the world on your shoulders as the eyes of your friends gaze upon you. Then the doubt creeps in and one has to wonder, “What if?” What if you lose? Can you handle that sort of failure Gabriela?
She tucks her hands in the pockets of her jeans.
I dunnooooo. I don’t think you can.
She leans toward the camera.
Gabby, Astrid, Maxine, and yes, even you Pandora...that’s not a “What if” question after Danger Zone. It’s a question you’re all going to have to ask yourself after the winner is announced...trust me.
She walks away from the camera as the scene fades to black.
We see Alexis in front of me her face buried in her knees, a hood covering her head. It’s a gloomy day, and an overall somber tone that can’t be ignored. She slowly lifts her head, her narrow gaze peeking through the opening in the hood.
That was an understatement. I was so ravaged with pain, so filled with sorrow that it just wasn’t possible. I think back on the time I had with the one woman on this planet that understood me better than anyone else and I don’t focus on the bad, but on the good. We had holidays that others would look at as “trash”, I viewed as a blessing.
Very similar to my career ups and downs, and I remember every time that something bad would happen she would be the one to bring me to a new promise. I had my first attempts at glory here in the IWF and they didn’t go my way. When I thought I had tried everything and should go back to simply accompanying my husband to the ring, it was my mother who brought me back to my senses, and what happened next? The highest of highs...the best year of my career, winning the Iron Maiden, and winning the Diamonds Title on two separate occasions, which would then lead to the Hall of Fame status that I enjoy today.
There was a sigh that was only slightly audible.
Then I got hurt, and what I once loved was taken from me. While rehabbing, and getting myself fit again, it was my mother who was there to push me. She made me stick to the track, and it was her who made sure I wouldn’t sit there in sorrow, wallowing in my own misery. She made sure I was fueled to go farther than I have before, and it was her who pointed me to this very moment, a moment to rise above the competition once more and once more claim that lovely little championship...as mine.
Rather than a sigh, the next breath is deep but controlled. That breath is concentrated as is her focus.
So I came back. I didn’t know how much time I’d have with my mother, but this run, this situation I find myself in is all because of her, and now I deem it as all for her. It starts at Danger Zone, it starts with this Gauntlet and it doesn’t matter if I enter first, or enter last, once that dust settles, there is but one who will remain in that ring, her hand raised in victory, a shot at glory on the line, and that one person will be…me.
She crosses her legs beneath her, reaching up and slowly moving the hood back from her head, revealing her dark straightened hair and her cold brown eyes. She holds that hand in front of her with four fingers stuck up toward the sky.
Three of the four women, who haven’t been to the top of the almighty mountain. You three have never tasted the sweet nectar of success. Try and try as you might, you’ll never be able to replicate it. So instead, you fight for it. Whether you be the loud mouth that is Gabriela Luna, who was shut up nicely a couple of weeks back, or you’re the outsider brought into a group of misfit toys, or a viking princess, you all have the same goal, the same craving, only because you don’t know what it is you’re hoping for.
Sometimes, it’s not the size of the competitor, I’ve proven that all of my life. Who would have thought that a slender little twig like me could hold the Diamonds Title and defend it for as long as I did? That’s why people like Maxine and Astrid don’t bother me.
I mean, what if they’re the ones who start this thing? Do the two of you really see yourselves having the stamina to last the entire way? Do you really think you have what it takes to get to the end?
She shakes her head.
I don’t.
You’ll throw your punches, and use your sizes and your strengths until you can’t do so anymore, then what?
She cocks her head to the side, a smile on her face.
Nothing...not a single thing because that’s when I’m going to strike! For the littlest dog in this fight has the most heart, and I assure you all, the most sinister of bites.
She stands up.
So bring your size, because trust me when I tell you, I’m not going to treat you lightly. Trust me when I tell you that I know every single thing you’re capable of. Also ladies, trust me when I tell you...I’m not afraid of either of you. For as good as you portray yourselves to be, as much bravado and warrior paint as you hide behind...I’ve been there, and I’ve done that, and trust me when I tell you...I can’t wait to do it all over again.
**********************************
”February 25, 2018”
I’m sitting on the bed in the hotel room, and as I go through the things in my bag, my eyes are drawn upward toward a picture stuck in the band of the netting of my suitcase. I flip the lid back over and sit back into the throw pillows. As I gaze down on the printed memory, a picture of my mother and I at a young age, I can’t help but let a tear trickle down my cheek.
I stare and know that I was only five years old in that picture, and the picture itself while representing a memory, also represented a tough time when it came down to capturing this memory or some other opportunity. My mother turned that opportunity down and chose to be able to live with that memory forever.
My mother did so much for me that quantifying it is impossible, and it’s why I miss her so much to this day.
One though can only let that show for so long. Eventually, the mourning has to get a little easier, and life has to resume as normal as possible with that one important piece missing out of it. I take a deep sigh and pull the picture in, kissing it before leaning forward and replacing it in the spot from which I took it. I then scoot back into the pillows, pulling my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them as I stare out the window.
I was in such a trance that I didn’t even notice Mike walk into the room.
Mike Laszlo: You okay?
I didn’t answer, I just kept my gaze aimed out the window.
Mike Laszlo: Lexi?
Still no answer as he walked over and I felt the bend of the mattress as he sat down and moved in closer, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
Mike Laszlo: It’s okay to miss her still. It’s only been a couple weeks, and obviously that is one of the biggest pieces of your life.
I slowly shook my head from one side to the other.
Alexis Caffrey: That’s just it...I don’t.
He pulled away from me for a moment, and as I turned my head, I noticed the look of confusion on his face.
Alexis Caffrey: I miss being near her. I miss talking to her on the phone. I miss getting advice from her. I don’t miss her though because she’s never gone, and will always be looking down on me with that infectious smile. I know that she still wishes me the best, it just…
I turn to the window again…
Alexis Caffrey: It just sucks that I won’t get to physically hear it again.
I feel his grasp tighten a bit.
Mike Laszlo: It’s a hard road to travel. I’ve lost both of my parents now, as you know, and while with my dad I just wish things were different, I miss my mother every single moment of every single day. I wish she could see the man I’ve become. I wish she could see all of my accomplishments, meet my daughter, meet you. There’s just so much that I didn’t get to share with her, and that’s one thing that I think you can take some comfort in. Your mother saw you achieve your dream. She saw you fight your battles both in life, and professionally, and she was able to tell you she’s proud of you. So now, any time that you’re feeling down, or you’re feeling like you can’t do something, you can replay that voice, you can hear her say she’s proud of you and a piece of you can feel that warm sensation deep in your heart. You have something to hold onto, and honestly, that’s all you can ask for. And…
He pulls me in to the point where I simply fall into his chest.
Mike Laszlo: If you need a little bit more...you always have me.
I closed my eyes, a smirk crawling across my face. I grabbed at his arms wrapped around me and squeezed as the scene fades.
**********************************
I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting Pandora.
The scene opens back up and we see my wife sitting on the steps of a building in the city. Her jeans, torn at various points, her tank top exposing her tanned arms, and her sunglasses shielding her eyes from the rays of the sun that barrels down from the sky above as she points to the side.
The two earlier could be crumbled up in a big giant ball because honestly they’re similar, but I felt like focusing on you because you HAVE been there. You defeated my protege at Night of the Immortals, the same show I won at, and like me, you lost rather quickly...then things changed. When you had a chance to regain your glory...unlike me...you went nowhere. Your biggest claim to fame nowadays is being the arm candy on Spike Kane.
She shakes her head.
I’m sure a lot of people had higher aspirations for you. Some might have made the comparison to me, someone who’s not quite the “size” that people look for, or the attitude that people look for. You’re a little weird, and trust me of all people, there’s nothing wrong with that. Then the comparisons fell to the wayside, and that there’s plenty wrong with.
She pulls her hair back behind her ears, her eyebrows raising above her sunglasses as she dismissively shrugs her shoulders.
And you have nobody to blame but yourself.
She points into the lens of the camera.
You had the whole world in your hands, and what did you do? You tossed it to the side like a piece of trash, and quite frankly, as a competitor, as a former champion, as a hall of famer, it kinda disgusts me.
She points to herself.
So allow me to introduce myself. I’m Alexis Caffrey, and at Danger Zone, I’m going to show you what a real champion looks like.
She stands up from the stairs and pulls up her jeans, the breeze blowing through her hair as she looks around from side to side. She holds out her hands.
Then there’s one more to go. She’s the one who called me out at Open Fight Night. She’s the one who puffed out her chest and said she’s going to beat me down for costing her a title shot months ago. So now, here we are. We’re in your country, and girl you’ve got the big huge hometown advantage.
Gabriela, this is your chance to shine on what might be the biggest stage you can get right now. This is the time for you to take all those words that you spout off on a weekly basis and make them mean something. This is your chance to put up and shut up, because, well, at least, when it comes to you and me, you’re just not able to do that.
She holds out her hands and just spins in place.
Maybe this will help you out? Maybe being around your native people will give you that extra little boost you need to finally get over the hump.
She shrugs.
Or maybe, it’s just the opposite. Maybe, you’re going to step into that arena, walk down that ramp, and enter the ring, and the bad part of being in your hometown is the part that nobody wants to talk about. It’s the pressure of performing in front of all your family sitting at ringside. It’s the weight of the world on your shoulders as the eyes of your friends gaze upon you. Then the doubt creeps in and one has to wonder, “What if?” What if you lose? Can you handle that sort of failure Gabriela?
She tucks her hands in the pockets of her jeans.
I dunnooooo. I don’t think you can.
She leans toward the camera.
Gabby, Astrid, Maxine, and yes, even you Pandora...that’s not a “What if” question after Danger Zone. It’s a question you’re all going to have to ask yourself after the winner is announced...trust me.
She walks away from the camera as the scene fades to black.
Well howdy there pardner.