Post by Trent Helms on Aug 24, 2013 2:35:18 GMT
So if you’re watching this, This means that you totally love me, and wish for me to slide my Sparkle Motion into a very uncomfortable place, and I’m not talking about the back of a Volkswagen.
Welcome to the Trent Helms cutting room throw, where I show you all the shit, that didn’t go into my promo, like me going on a rant how Xander Famularo is a piece of shit, Why didn’t this segment make it into my promo, Well one….IWF Management is a bunch of cheap bastards, who only want to give me five minutes of Air Time….And considering this rant went on for like way too long.
I also talked about Mike Laszlo beating me, You know what, let’s just cut that out, No one want to hear about it, most of you saw the match, You saw me being like your Jake Keetons and your Spike Kanes, working the holds, Telling a story.
I also smoked weed too, I know….you like saying….TRENT, You can’t air that, You will get arrested, and I will say….Why do you think, I don’t fly into the shows until six hours before? Because I live in Canada, it’s totally legal here.
That didn’t happen, I just wanted to draw some eyebrows, thru I’m sure there will be a cup waiting for me to piss in, once I alive at Sacrifice.
I also, may, or may not of had Anal Sex with my Fiance’e, while the cameras were rolling.
Spoiler Alerts….
I did….
So I’m spending my own money, I may not be a Billionaire like Simon and Verona, cause the bastards totally outbidded me when it came to controlling NCW, I guess my 47.3 million dollars that I’m worth wasn’t enough, but I’m spending my own money to totally shoot promos on my own dime, cause I have been deemed, Too Risky for what IWF want you to see.
So Xander and Sense have totally done, what they said they would do, my question is too Sense….What fucking too you so long? I mean for Christ sake, It’s Joe Everyman, Are you really telling me, That you, Mister Englishman, standing seven feet tall and weighing more then my Ex Wife’s titties, couldn’t beat Joe Everyman, that you had to form a nifty little click with Xander Famularo and bully poor defenseless Joe Everyman?
And you Xander, You really are a one trick pony aren’t you? It’s like each six months, You have to form some super group, and run around, using strength in numbers to push people around, Aren’t you supposed to be Xander Famularo, The Destroyer, and not Xander Famularo, The Little Bitch who like to compete in Circle Jerks.
Because you know, people totally tuned in to their televisions when Hierachy, Version 1 happened, Now here we are, with the same group, doing the same thing.
Are you really that hell-bent, on ruining another wrestling promotion?
You are trying so, so hard to be The Big Bad of the Wrestling World, but truth be told, I don’t buy it, maybe it’s because your promos lack production values, maybe it’s because you’re married to a woman who is more retarded then me, or maybe it’s because you’re the scared little bitch Quarterback, hiding behind his Offensive Line.
Why am I spending so much time, talking about you, When I have Alex Jones and Davey Ortega as opponents this week? I really don’t know, I tend to talk about anything that I want, and go off-topic, because I have ADHD, that people can’t seem to grasp. I don’t care, you can totally kick Joe Everyman and Xavier Cross asses all you want, I’m not buying into the hype, and it showed thru, when by Brother Spike, and the most badass sith lord this galaxy has ever seen, totally made the two of you, look like giant overgrown bitches who took way too long to get off your momma’s teet.
There is a reason to this madness that is a long-winded Trent Helms promo, Do I know what it is, Not likely, because I’m blazed out of my mind…
Just Kidding.
I’m tired of this shit, I’m tired of people like Alex Jone, Davey Ortega, Doc, and the rest of the Cruiserweight Division, going out there each week, stealing the show, proving to everyone, who really is the most talented wrestlers in this company, I’m tired of seeing you striking the defenseless, and then standing there with the veins popping out your neck, acting like you’re the big shit.
I just took a big Shit Xander….It looked nothing like you.
You want to beat up on poor defenseless Joe Everyman and Xavier Cross, why don’t you try that shit on someone, who isn’t afraid of you, Because Xander, I have stood in the ring with you a few times, and considering the great Xander Famularo has never put a loss on my stat sheet, Well outside of the time, You made us lose a Tag Team Match against your buddy and Jimmy Zane, Yes you battered me, Yes you made me question my commitment to Sparkle Motion, but each time, that your fist connected with my face, I survived….
I think you remember the last time we were in the ring, in what you consider the blackest day of your career, when I helped Andrew Jacobsen defeat the Mighty Xander Famularo.
I’m not afraid of you, and If I have to pop a erection, so that I get over the weight limit to compete in the Heavyweight Division, So be it, I have fought men, as big as you and defeated them, There isn’t a legend in this business that I haven’t defeated, Angel, the toughest son of a bitch this business has ever produced, Spike Kane, a God in every sense of the word, Even your mentor and Trainer, Adam Knite has been outclassed by Trent Helms, You sit there, acting like the Big Bad, thinking that we are all quivering in our boots, The same guys to Sense, and all the other so called Heavy Hitters of IWF.
You try that shit on us….And we will crush you, you may be big, you may be bad, but are you a Omega level mutant with Class 10 Luck Powers? The truth of the matter is, you and Sense….Aren’t the true champions of this promotion, we are….This Division is really what IWF is all about.
Let’s do a Roll Call shall we?
There’s Rob Diamond. The most bad-ass holder of a Lightsaber, This side of me, and a man, who has beaten you on the biggest stage at A Night To Remember.
There is Alex Jones, A Grand Slam Winner, and the man who totally made your so-called rival look like a chump at the last ever show in NCW.
Then there is some guy, with Purple Hair, who has beaten the best of the best, Who was so dominate against Cruiserweights, That he begin to fight your type for fun, I believe he beat 3 World Champions in one night to become the first Cruiserweight in NCW History to become World Champion.
So you can keep doing what you’re doing, boring all the primates to sleep with your same four moves of Doom, and we’re going to keep doing what we do best, Stealing The Fucking Show…
God I feel like Robert Downey Jr right now….Maybe I should go down to Hollywood with some blow and pick up some hookers to really send the point home.
The same can be said for all Heavyweights, You mess with my brothers, You mess with my children, and you will personally get a Close Encounter of the Six Hundred and Thirty Kind….
Try Me Primates
Welcome to the Trent Helms cutting room throw, where I show you all the shit, that didn’t go into my promo, like me going on a rant how Xander Famularo is a piece of shit, Why didn’t this segment make it into my promo, Well one….IWF Management is a bunch of cheap bastards, who only want to give me five minutes of Air Time….And considering this rant went on for like way too long.
I also talked about Mike Laszlo beating me, You know what, let’s just cut that out, No one want to hear about it, most of you saw the match, You saw me being like your Jake Keetons and your Spike Kanes, working the holds, Telling a story.
I also smoked weed too, I know….you like saying….TRENT, You can’t air that, You will get arrested, and I will say….Why do you think, I don’t fly into the shows until six hours before? Because I live in Canada, it’s totally legal here.
That didn’t happen, I just wanted to draw some eyebrows, thru I’m sure there will be a cup waiting for me to piss in, once I alive at Sacrifice.
I also, may, or may not of had Anal Sex with my Fiance’e, while the cameras were rolling.
Spoiler Alerts….
I did….
So I’m spending my own money, I may not be a Billionaire like Simon and Verona, cause the bastards totally outbidded me when it came to controlling NCW, I guess my 47.3 million dollars that I’m worth wasn’t enough, but I’m spending my own money to totally shoot promos on my own dime, cause I have been deemed, Too Risky for what IWF want you to see.
So Xander and Sense have totally done, what they said they would do, my question is too Sense….What fucking too you so long? I mean for Christ sake, It’s Joe Everyman, Are you really telling me, That you, Mister Englishman, standing seven feet tall and weighing more then my Ex Wife’s titties, couldn’t beat Joe Everyman, that you had to form a nifty little click with Xander Famularo and bully poor defenseless Joe Everyman?
And you Xander, You really are a one trick pony aren’t you? It’s like each six months, You have to form some super group, and run around, using strength in numbers to push people around, Aren’t you supposed to be Xander Famularo, The Destroyer, and not Xander Famularo, The Little Bitch who like to compete in Circle Jerks.
Because you know, people totally tuned in to their televisions when Hierachy, Version 1 happened, Now here we are, with the same group, doing the same thing.
Are you really that hell-bent, on ruining another wrestling promotion?
You are trying so, so hard to be The Big Bad of the Wrestling World, but truth be told, I don’t buy it, maybe it’s because your promos lack production values, maybe it’s because you’re married to a woman who is more retarded then me, or maybe it’s because you’re the scared little bitch Quarterback, hiding behind his Offensive Line.
Why am I spending so much time, talking about you, When I have Alex Jones and Davey Ortega as opponents this week? I really don’t know, I tend to talk about anything that I want, and go off-topic, because I have ADHD, that people can’t seem to grasp. I don’t care, you can totally kick Joe Everyman and Xavier Cross asses all you want, I’m not buying into the hype, and it showed thru, when by Brother Spike, and the most badass sith lord this galaxy has ever seen, totally made the two of you, look like giant overgrown bitches who took way too long to get off your momma’s teet.
There is a reason to this madness that is a long-winded Trent Helms promo, Do I know what it is, Not likely, because I’m blazed out of my mind…
Just Kidding.
I’m tired of this shit, I’m tired of people like Alex Jone, Davey Ortega, Doc, and the rest of the Cruiserweight Division, going out there each week, stealing the show, proving to everyone, who really is the most talented wrestlers in this company, I’m tired of seeing you striking the defenseless, and then standing there with the veins popping out your neck, acting like you’re the big shit.
I just took a big Shit Xander….It looked nothing like you.
You want to beat up on poor defenseless Joe Everyman and Xavier Cross, why don’t you try that shit on someone, who isn’t afraid of you, Because Xander, I have stood in the ring with you a few times, and considering the great Xander Famularo has never put a loss on my stat sheet, Well outside of the time, You made us lose a Tag Team Match against your buddy and Jimmy Zane, Yes you battered me, Yes you made me question my commitment to Sparkle Motion, but each time, that your fist connected with my face, I survived….
I think you remember the last time we were in the ring, in what you consider the blackest day of your career, when I helped Andrew Jacobsen defeat the Mighty Xander Famularo.
I’m not afraid of you, and If I have to pop a erection, so that I get over the weight limit to compete in the Heavyweight Division, So be it, I have fought men, as big as you and defeated them, There isn’t a legend in this business that I haven’t defeated, Angel, the toughest son of a bitch this business has ever produced, Spike Kane, a God in every sense of the word, Even your mentor and Trainer, Adam Knite has been outclassed by Trent Helms, You sit there, acting like the Big Bad, thinking that we are all quivering in our boots, The same guys to Sense, and all the other so called Heavy Hitters of IWF.
You try that shit on us….And we will crush you, you may be big, you may be bad, but are you a Omega level mutant with Class 10 Luck Powers? The truth of the matter is, you and Sense….Aren’t the true champions of this promotion, we are….This Division is really what IWF is all about.
Let’s do a Roll Call shall we?
There’s Rob Diamond. The most bad-ass holder of a Lightsaber, This side of me, and a man, who has beaten you on the biggest stage at A Night To Remember.
There is Alex Jones, A Grand Slam Winner, and the man who totally made your so-called rival look like a chump at the last ever show in NCW.
Then there is some guy, with Purple Hair, who has beaten the best of the best, Who was so dominate against Cruiserweights, That he begin to fight your type for fun, I believe he beat 3 World Champions in one night to become the first Cruiserweight in NCW History to become World Champion.
So you can keep doing what you’re doing, boring all the primates to sleep with your same four moves of Doom, and we’re going to keep doing what we do best, Stealing The Fucking Show…
God I feel like Robert Downey Jr right now….Maybe I should go down to Hollywood with some blow and pick up some hookers to really send the point home.
The same can be said for all Heavyweights, You mess with my brothers, You mess with my children, and you will personally get a Close Encounter of the Six Hundred and Thirty Kind….
Try Me Primates