Post by James Gilmore on Mar 11, 2019 6:01:18 GMT
”DREAMS TO DREAM”
JAMES’ PERSONAL LOG
Stardate: 47634.44 (March 7, 2019 - NIGHT ENTRY)
I dunno what I was thinkin’ with that second log entry.
Maybe it’s ‘cuz I wanted to get certain things outta my system, but now...I’m payin’ the price for it. I did a lot of runnin’ around after leavin’ the coffee shop in town, mostly grabbin’ groceries to fill up the fridge ‘cuz Fiona left us with virtually nothin’. Perhaps it’s Karma that I had to spend close to $150 in groceries at the local Aldi’s; after all, we forget to bring our goodies up to the ranch from our villa in Corpus.
Oh well, what else can I say except...c’est la vie!
Admittedly, my body’s tellin’ me to go to sleep, but my mind’s thinkin’ about somethin’ else, somethin’ much more important than gettin’ the full eight hours. So...what could be more important than catchin’ some Zs?!
Lots of things, to be honest--especially when you’re listenin’ to one of your favorite movie soundtrack tunes. I’m out on the front porch of the ranch house, lookin’ up at the starry skies and takin’ in the spring-like weather, and as I’m doin’ so...I’ve found myself thinkin’ about a lot of people.
About Jack, the man who brought me into wrestlin’ to begin with. About Fiona, who--other than Rob Diamond or Steve Awesome--has been the only rock in a world that only wants to eat me alive. About Yulia, the woman I’ll be sayin’ ‘I do’ to this comin’ May.
And most importantly...as I let the "Fievel Goes West" theme song's lyrics do the talkin’...I’m thinkin’ about my mother, who gave me the gift of life.
She’s been dead for almost five years now.
Yet the memories I gained from the last time I saw her alive...they’ve stuck with me to this day.
It was around this time, five years ago. I was workin’ an outdoor indy show in Midlothian for charity against a local dude. It was nice and warm, my mind was goin’ nuts, and I was about to step into MISD Stadium in front of...I’d say a thousand people, many of whom were sittin’ on the football field. As The Offspring was playin’--’Nitro (Youth Energy)’ was my original theme--I caught a glimpse my mom, sittin’ in her wheelchair with a smile on her face.
While it did give me extra motivation to work that night...it still made me sad.
My mom was so full of life and energy, it was unmistakable. She’d go outta her way to make sure my brother and I were well taken care of when we was kids, and seein’ how Stage-IV breast cancer robbed her of her strength..it tore me to pieces on the inside. Yet I was comforted in knowin’ that the one thing she never lost was her smile.
That, and her dry wit...plus her disdain for all things related to the Dallas Cowboys!
“I lose my way
No one cares
The words I say
No one hears
My life it seems is a world of dreams
Deep in the night
You'll find me
Dream and you're right behind me
Stay...if you will stay
We'll dream the night away”
I’ll never forget meetin’ up after the show, when she razzed me ‘cuz I was wearin’ a Romo jersey.
Truth is, every time my mom ade it to a wrestlin’ show I was in, I wanted to beat the opponent so bad just to make her happy. Win at all costs...ya know, that mess. I’d spend the course of an entire match bein’ a nervous wreck, my stomach would be in knots. That’s how anyone would feel when their parents showed up at a wrestlin’ event they were in.
Before she died...my mom told me that the happiest times she had were the ones when she watched me arm-wrestle with my brother Johnny when we was younger, and I...well, I never, ever beat him in arm-wrestling. I’d always hang my head, never lettin’ him pat me on the back for tryin’. When I look back at it now, I realize that there’s somethin’ more important than winnin’ at all costs.
I didn’t need to beat my opponents in the ring just to make her smile.
“Dreams to dream
In the dark of the night
When the world goes wrong
I can still make it right
I can see so far in my dreams
I'll follow my dreams until they come true”
My mother was proud of me…’cuz I was her son.
‘Cuz I went out into the world, had fun, and tried my best.
That was what she told me when I hugged her so tightly that my arms started turnin’ blue. I didn’t wanna think, not for a moment, that this was gonna be the last time I’d see her in the land of the livin’. Yet I had to go back on tour, and even though we kept textin’ and Facebook Messagin’ for the next few weeks. Yet when a road agent called me on May 5th, 2014, to tell me my mom had passed away…
...my whole body shook.
After all, she had GIVEN ME THE GIFT OF LIFE AND SO MUCH MORE!
“There is a star
Waiting to guide us
Shining inside us
When we close our eyes
Come with me
You will see what I mean
There's a world inside
No one else ever sees
You will go so far in my dreams
Somewhere in my dreams
Your dreams will come true”
All I wondered after she passed away was ‘what in the fuck do I have to do in order to give back for what my mom did for me!?!’
I’ve spent the past five years of my life mullin’ that question, and honestly...that’s the part where depression sits in, where ya start to scramble for answers like winnin’ titles or kickin’ the crap outta everybody. I didn’t wanna let go of the fact she was gone, and I...I started to lose all hope again, the very thing Jack Gaither once gave me back in 2011 when I worked my first match--a charity match at that. I began to screw up.
I was goin’ nowhere once again. I tried to hide it, but I couldn’t. I realized I had to go seek out help, searchin’ for someone who could show me a thing or two about this gig and how it truly operated.
Yulia came into my life, became my conscience...and we’ll be hitched in a few months. So did Fiona, who gave me a good kick in the butt for my complacency! Yet there’s two men who, other than Jack Gaither, I consider a ‘real brother’ to me…
...and their names are Rob Diamond and Steve Bates, a.k.a ‘Steve Awesome.
“Don't let go
If you stay close to me
In my dreams tonight
You will see what I see
Dreams to dream
As near as can be
Inside you and me
Will always come true”
Now I've had the pleasure of meetin' some cool cats along in my travels, but I'm very selective when it comes to friends. Some were college slackers while others were studious classmates. Some were jocks while others read books! No matter who they were though...they kept my course true and steady when I was sloggin' through college at Texas A&M-Corpus Christi!
Wrestlin' shouldn't be any different, right!?!
I hate bein’ blunt, but...I will NOT stand for people who lecture me on my choice of friends!
Especially when said lecture is comin’ from Andrew Jacobsen, who’s supposed to be a shinin’ example of what wrestlin’ is supposed to be about.
Lemme be straight-up here...that bothers me to no end. It really, really does. Rob has just come to terms with losin’ his best buddy, and InFamous partner-in-crime, Spike Kane. Steve was brought back by some Make-a-Wish request and is tryin’ his damndest to deal with his personal demons, and to hear a Hall-of-Famer--who I won’t deny is one of the best I’ve ever seen--chastise me ‘cuz I started trainin’ with them makes me sick.
Truth is, I know he wants to mean well and all that hot mess, but for him to play the victim when he used Twitter to demean Rob and dismiss what he’s done to help BUILD IMPERIAL from day one! For God's sakes, he's had HIS FINGER CHOPPED OFF in the service of this business!!!
That makes me EVEN SICKER!
It makes HIM look like an pious asshole...and surely, he can be a better dude than that!
At the end of the day, while I’m tryin’ to understand where Andrew’s comin’ from, that he's fightin' for IWF--to which I won't deny, the fact of the matter...is that just 'cuz they did somethin' bad to him in the past doesn’t mean they’re gonna do the same thing to me! So far, things have been goin’ really well. I'm havin' the best fun I've had with my career in a long, long time, but when it all boils down to it...Andrew Jacobsen has gotta do what he’s gotta do and worry about his own affairs.
And I gotta do what I gotta do...and worry about my own business.
“Inside you and me
That always come true…”
And I gotta keep on havin’ fun!
‘Cuz THAT is what my mother wanted me to do above anything else!
I don’t mean to hurt people, okay?! I don’t mean to offend anyone ‘cuz I support Mr. Trump as a moderate, pro-life Republican who wants to keep the bad guys from bargin’ into my home and startin’ crap! Yet I want people of all colors, races, and creeds to be able to enjoy a good wrestlin’ product and the work I put into it! I want to keep on tourin’ and takin’ on new challenges, creatin’ as much excitement as I can so that future generations of boys and girls can learn from what I do for a livin’ and live out their dreams!
That’s the only thing I can give back to a sports-entertainment that’s given me a shot to flourish. After all...wrestlin' should be about bringin' people together from all walks of life so they could watch a helluva good show from a cast of talented, gifted men and women.
As I finish drinkin’ a can of Orange-Vanilla Coke, as I stretch my arms and prep myself to get some shut-eye, I remember the very last thing my mother texted me before she died.
It’s become the REAL reason why I’m a pro wrestler.
“Go West, young man--for love of the game! Momma loves you…”
-Entry 3 of 3-
The end…
---
”Dare to dream.”
That ain’t just a kitsch phrase I decided to stick on T-shirts so I could make big bucks. It ain’t just another motto I use for the sake of usin’ it. Nah dudes, it’s supposed to represent somethin’ bigger than anything I’ve ever done in my career or, to a greater extent, my life in general.
Much bigger.
Let’s not kid ourselves...wrestlin’ has given me more than anything I could ever have wanted. Wrestlin’ has given me the chance to flourish when others laughed at me, it has given me the chance to travel across continents and meet people from all walks of life. It’s given me the opportunity to train with some of the best superstars on the planet; yet...as March 24th, 2019--my 37th birthday--approaches, I don’t want to keep thinkin’ about what I’m gonna get.
‘Cuz...I wanna make this day about what I can GIVE BACK to a gig that’s given me more than just a steady paycheck! All I can say...is that pushin’ myself to go far in the Roulette would be the best return of ‘em all. If I win the darn thing, yay!
If I don’t...I’ll pick myself back up again as I’ve done plenty of times before!
But let’s be clear, this contest ain’t about me, Rob Diamond, or Steve Awesome--a.k.a. Bein’ InFamous. This ain’t even about tryin’ the same old song-and-dance routine about stoppin’ the Pack or the Clergy.
This is about IWF...as a family!
Specifically, this is about the men and women who came before--or after in some cases--me and made an impact on the place in some fashion, and yeah...that includes the dude who, at this time last year, called out his own roster--myself included--as useless. ‘Cuz here’s the deal...while bein’ an almighty remorseless bastard was Spike Kane’s favorite thing in the world, honestly...he showed somethin’ far bigger than what he was lettin’ on in my opinion. The same could be said for Bob Pooler and Devlin Raine; they were good-meanin’ dudes who could be snarky at times to those that disagreed with ‘em, they each had great careers in their own right, but again...they had somethin’ in common. You got the dudes and dudettes who couldn’t quite live up to the hype, but if there was one thing that truly stood out among the IWF family in general, it’s this one simple thing:
They all put their bones--and in some cases, lives--into matches like the Roulette...not for the mere sake of winnin’ accolades or trophies, but for love of the game.
Nothin’ more, nothin’ less.
When I signed on the Imperial dotted line back in 2016, all I wanted to do was have fun with the work I did, but...I knew what I was gettin’ into. I wasn’t the fastest and certainly not the strongest, and most times--just like every new city I’ve seen in my travels--I’d find myself surrounded by those who prolly wanted to kick my butt. Some meant well, others were dicks, but in theory...they ALL loved this business as much as I did. Yet what scared me the most, and perhaps in an ironic way, was that ya had dudes like Warren Kane, who’s claimed to hate his old man’s guts with a passion, yet spews out his old man’s venom in a thinly-veiled diatribe that essentially--albeit with a lot less COWBELL than Spike--calls the entire roster “useless pieces of shit” for not goin’ with the grain, as it were. In his mindset, and in the minds of some others, ya had a choice:
Pick a side...and be subjugated by the other!
Don’t pick a side...and be destroyed by both of ‘em!
That’s the kind of sentiment I’ve seen espoused by, say, Rowan, Spike, or Angel Blake, and to me...that kind of mentality is what’s been destroyin’ the world we live in, both inside AND outside the ring, from the halls of Congress to our very own locker room! That’s what’s VERY scary about the pickle IWF has found itself in, and honestly...I have no idea on how to handle that kind of fear. It’s the same kind of fear I experienced when Stage IV breast cancer, and its treatments, robbed MY MOTHER of her life in a three-month span! It’s the worry I felt when Warren Kane’s boy toy Dean Harper took Yulia from me, or when Rowan lit Fiona on fire!
And I, for one, cannot live like that no more!
In hindsight, from my experiences with Rob Diamond and especially Steve Awesome...in the latter’s case, even the biggest of dicks can turn out to be bodacious buddies. That’s why I started hangin’ and bangin’ with them guys--’cuz they represented the best of BOTH sides of what Humanity has to offer, the light and the dark! ‘Cuz we just wanted to be ourselves and not pretend to be someone we ain’t; we didn’t wanna worry about chainin’ ourselves to hypocritical religious doctrine or well-intentioned, but Draconian, Bushido-like codes of honor.
‘Cuz we wanted to prove to a divided world that, just like the lovable but loudmouthed Del Griffith, what you see is what you get!
That’s why Bein’ InFamous was created...to send a loud and clear message to the Imperial Wrestlin’ Family as a whole, that we are sick and tired of the spooky, demonic crap bein’ force-fed into our minds every stinkin’ week! We don’t wanna march out to that ring ridin’ high horses and thinkin’ we’re better than anyone else; ‘cuz...we know we ain’t, nor do we wanna be that way! We all, just like the Flintstones or Jetsons dudes next door, wanna have FUN with our work again! We all wanna tackle the biggest challenges by travelin’ from city to city, country to country! Win or lose, we wanna wrestle the greatest and brightest stars out there WITHOUT BEIN’ SCARED that some demon’s gonna do the things we’ve seen in the past two years!
It don’t matter if I’m number twenty-five or number one in the Roulette, it don’t matter whether I’m champ or not...THAT is why I wanna keep pushin’ myself to do what I love doin’...so that I wouldn’t have to feel scared no more!
I ain’t changin’ a darn thing about that--even though this is gonna be a case of every man for himself, even though Steve or Rob have just as much of a chance to win this sucker as everyone else!
After all, the Roulette should be a showcase of talented superstars with a common goal, to provide audiences with non-stop thrills and give the future generations of l’il dudes and dudettes can be inspired to someday step into that ring themselves! That’s what this gig should stand for; it’ should NEVER, EVER be about bein’ forced to pick sides in a never-endin’ cycle of war and destruction caused by a select few that truly despise the very principles unto which Imperial Wrestling was founded upon!!!
So to those who wanna treat us like their own personal pawns, who threaten IWF’s very foundation as a company or plan to follow in the current bullies’ footsteps, I say to you now...LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD!!!
IWF is supposed to an excitin’ joint that belongs to everyone! It belongs to the people who come out to see us perform in the arena or watch us from the comforts of home! It belongs to the men and women who spill blood and put their necks on the line every week so that future fans can be inspired by what we do! It belongs to the personnel whose duty it is to make sure everything runs smoothly, from the folks doin’ the setup to the folks in the truck!
No one side controls our overall destiny!
No one faction can tell us what we can and can’t do!
No angel, demon, or impish prince will make us bow to them again!
The score is really simple...thirty men are gonna compete to see who gets on IWF’s biggest stage, but the Roulette ain’t about choosin’ alliances or stickin’ with your brotherhood at all costs. It’s about puttin’ your body on the line so you can earn respect, it’s about givin’ it your very best against those that wanna kick your teeth in! In this contest of skill dudes...the only choice that REALLY matters is this credo from one of my favorite flicks, one that STILL applies to this very day, that’s inscribed on a memorial plaque that honors the very man who brought me into this industry nine years ago:
”Get busy livin’...or get busy dyin’.”
Step up to the plate...or grab some pine!
I, for one, am feelin’ pretty froggy about this match--and for good reason--’cuz I dunno if I’m gonna be the last dude standin’ or not. Yet if there’s anything I’ve learned from bein’ in this grand gig with the likes of a Rob Diamond or Steve Awesome, on a personal and professional level, it’s that when we’re out in that ring, we gotta push ourselves to the very limit ‘cuz that’s how we give the fans a good thrill and leave ‘em beggin’ for more. We gotta sacrifice our bodies week in and week out ‘cuz this is our livelihood, our way of livin’! We gotta ride the waves together ‘cuz the alternative...would be to cower in our fears and suffer a gnarly wipeout as a consequence!
That’s what “dare to dream” is really all about!
That’s what bein’ a REAL Champion truly represents!
That’s what gives us hope...and we gotta give that hope back to the people!
I’ve got just one message for Rowan, Xavier, Leviathan, or any other ghastly Satanic wannabe that wishes to do this company harm: we’re takin’ Imperial back, we’re makin’ it FUN again, and there ain’t a darn thing you’re gonna be able to do to stop it!
I’ve been--no, WE’VE been--waitin’ two years for this...and now, it’s OUR turn to say “enough is enough, let’s bring the JOY back into the joint!”
No matter what side you’re on, no matter who you are, no matter how things pan out, the result is gonna be the same. You will be made, you will be measured, you will be tested, and you will all be left…
#Shellshocked!
JAMES’ PERSONAL LOG
Stardate: 47634.44 (March 7, 2019 - NIGHT ENTRY)
I dunno what I was thinkin’ with that second log entry.
Maybe it’s ‘cuz I wanted to get certain things outta my system, but now...I’m payin’ the price for it. I did a lot of runnin’ around after leavin’ the coffee shop in town, mostly grabbin’ groceries to fill up the fridge ‘cuz Fiona left us with virtually nothin’. Perhaps it’s Karma that I had to spend close to $150 in groceries at the local Aldi’s; after all, we forget to bring our goodies up to the ranch from our villa in Corpus.
Oh well, what else can I say except...c’est la vie!
Admittedly, my body’s tellin’ me to go to sleep, but my mind’s thinkin’ about somethin’ else, somethin’ much more important than gettin’ the full eight hours. So...what could be more important than catchin’ some Zs?!
Lots of things, to be honest--especially when you’re listenin’ to one of your favorite movie soundtrack tunes. I’m out on the front porch of the ranch house, lookin’ up at the starry skies and takin’ in the spring-like weather, and as I’m doin’ so...I’ve found myself thinkin’ about a lot of people.
About Jack, the man who brought me into wrestlin’ to begin with. About Fiona, who--other than Rob Diamond or Steve Awesome--has been the only rock in a world that only wants to eat me alive. About Yulia, the woman I’ll be sayin’ ‘I do’ to this comin’ May.
And most importantly...as I let the "Fievel Goes West" theme song's lyrics do the talkin’...I’m thinkin’ about my mother, who gave me the gift of life.
She’s been dead for almost five years now.
Yet the memories I gained from the last time I saw her alive...they’ve stuck with me to this day.
It was around this time, five years ago. I was workin’ an outdoor indy show in Midlothian for charity against a local dude. It was nice and warm, my mind was goin’ nuts, and I was about to step into MISD Stadium in front of...I’d say a thousand people, many of whom were sittin’ on the football field. As The Offspring was playin’--’Nitro (Youth Energy)’ was my original theme--I caught a glimpse my mom, sittin’ in her wheelchair with a smile on her face.
While it did give me extra motivation to work that night...it still made me sad.
My mom was so full of life and energy, it was unmistakable. She’d go outta her way to make sure my brother and I were well taken care of when we was kids, and seein’ how Stage-IV breast cancer robbed her of her strength..it tore me to pieces on the inside. Yet I was comforted in knowin’ that the one thing she never lost was her smile.
That, and her dry wit...plus her disdain for all things related to the Dallas Cowboys!
“I lose my way
No one cares
The words I say
No one hears
My life it seems is a world of dreams
Deep in the night
You'll find me
Dream and you're right behind me
Stay...if you will stay
We'll dream the night away”
I’ll never forget meetin’ up after the show, when she razzed me ‘cuz I was wearin’ a Romo jersey.
Truth is, every time my mom ade it to a wrestlin’ show I was in, I wanted to beat the opponent so bad just to make her happy. Win at all costs...ya know, that mess. I’d spend the course of an entire match bein’ a nervous wreck, my stomach would be in knots. That’s how anyone would feel when their parents showed up at a wrestlin’ event they were in.
Before she died...my mom told me that the happiest times she had were the ones when she watched me arm-wrestle with my brother Johnny when we was younger, and I...well, I never, ever beat him in arm-wrestling. I’d always hang my head, never lettin’ him pat me on the back for tryin’. When I look back at it now, I realize that there’s somethin’ more important than winnin’ at all costs.
I didn’t need to beat my opponents in the ring just to make her smile.
“Dreams to dream
In the dark of the night
When the world goes wrong
I can still make it right
I can see so far in my dreams
I'll follow my dreams until they come true”
My mother was proud of me…’cuz I was her son.
‘Cuz I went out into the world, had fun, and tried my best.
That was what she told me when I hugged her so tightly that my arms started turnin’ blue. I didn’t wanna think, not for a moment, that this was gonna be the last time I’d see her in the land of the livin’. Yet I had to go back on tour, and even though we kept textin’ and Facebook Messagin’ for the next few weeks. Yet when a road agent called me on May 5th, 2014, to tell me my mom had passed away…
...my whole body shook.
After all, she had GIVEN ME THE GIFT OF LIFE AND SO MUCH MORE!
“There is a star
Waiting to guide us
Shining inside us
When we close our eyes
Come with me
You will see what I mean
There's a world inside
No one else ever sees
You will go so far in my dreams
Somewhere in my dreams
Your dreams will come true”
All I wondered after she passed away was ‘what in the fuck do I have to do in order to give back for what my mom did for me!?!’
I’ve spent the past five years of my life mullin’ that question, and honestly...that’s the part where depression sits in, where ya start to scramble for answers like winnin’ titles or kickin’ the crap outta everybody. I didn’t wanna let go of the fact she was gone, and I...I started to lose all hope again, the very thing Jack Gaither once gave me back in 2011 when I worked my first match--a charity match at that. I began to screw up.
I was goin’ nowhere once again. I tried to hide it, but I couldn’t. I realized I had to go seek out help, searchin’ for someone who could show me a thing or two about this gig and how it truly operated.
Yulia came into my life, became my conscience...and we’ll be hitched in a few months. So did Fiona, who gave me a good kick in the butt for my complacency! Yet there’s two men who, other than Jack Gaither, I consider a ‘real brother’ to me…
...and their names are Rob Diamond and Steve Bates, a.k.a ‘Steve Awesome.
“Don't let go
If you stay close to me
In my dreams tonight
You will see what I see
Dreams to dream
As near as can be
Inside you and me
Will always come true”
Now I've had the pleasure of meetin' some cool cats along in my travels, but I'm very selective when it comes to friends. Some were college slackers while others were studious classmates. Some were jocks while others read books! No matter who they were though...they kept my course true and steady when I was sloggin' through college at Texas A&M-Corpus Christi!
Wrestlin' shouldn't be any different, right!?!
I hate bein’ blunt, but...I will NOT stand for people who lecture me on my choice of friends!
Especially when said lecture is comin’ from Andrew Jacobsen, who’s supposed to be a shinin’ example of what wrestlin’ is supposed to be about.
Lemme be straight-up here...that bothers me to no end. It really, really does. Rob has just come to terms with losin’ his best buddy, and InFamous partner-in-crime, Spike Kane. Steve was brought back by some Make-a-Wish request and is tryin’ his damndest to deal with his personal demons, and to hear a Hall-of-Famer--who I won’t deny is one of the best I’ve ever seen--chastise me ‘cuz I started trainin’ with them makes me sick.
Truth is, I know he wants to mean well and all that hot mess, but for him to play the victim when he used Twitter to demean Rob and dismiss what he’s done to help BUILD IMPERIAL from day one! For God's sakes, he's had HIS FINGER CHOPPED OFF in the service of this business!!!
That makes me EVEN SICKER!
It makes HIM look like an pious asshole...and surely, he can be a better dude than that!
At the end of the day, while I’m tryin’ to understand where Andrew’s comin’ from, that he's fightin' for IWF--to which I won't deny, the fact of the matter...is that just 'cuz they did somethin' bad to him in the past doesn’t mean they’re gonna do the same thing to me! So far, things have been goin’ really well. I'm havin' the best fun I've had with my career in a long, long time, but when it all boils down to it...Andrew Jacobsen has gotta do what he’s gotta do and worry about his own affairs.
And I gotta do what I gotta do...and worry about my own business.
“Inside you and me
That always come true…”
And I gotta keep on havin’ fun!
‘Cuz THAT is what my mother wanted me to do above anything else!
I don’t mean to hurt people, okay?! I don’t mean to offend anyone ‘cuz I support Mr. Trump as a moderate, pro-life Republican who wants to keep the bad guys from bargin’ into my home and startin’ crap! Yet I want people of all colors, races, and creeds to be able to enjoy a good wrestlin’ product and the work I put into it! I want to keep on tourin’ and takin’ on new challenges, creatin’ as much excitement as I can so that future generations of boys and girls can learn from what I do for a livin’ and live out their dreams!
That’s the only thing I can give back to a sports-entertainment that’s given me a shot to flourish. After all...wrestlin' should be about bringin' people together from all walks of life so they could watch a helluva good show from a cast of talented, gifted men and women.
As I finish drinkin’ a can of Orange-Vanilla Coke, as I stretch my arms and prep myself to get some shut-eye, I remember the very last thing my mother texted me before she died.
It’s become the REAL reason why I’m a pro wrestler.
“Go West, young man--for love of the game! Momma loves you…”
-Entry 3 of 3-
The end…
---
”Dare to dream.”
That ain’t just a kitsch phrase I decided to stick on T-shirts so I could make big bucks. It ain’t just another motto I use for the sake of usin’ it. Nah dudes, it’s supposed to represent somethin’ bigger than anything I’ve ever done in my career or, to a greater extent, my life in general.
Much bigger.
Let’s not kid ourselves...wrestlin’ has given me more than anything I could ever have wanted. Wrestlin’ has given me the chance to flourish when others laughed at me, it has given me the chance to travel across continents and meet people from all walks of life. It’s given me the opportunity to train with some of the best superstars on the planet; yet...as March 24th, 2019--my 37th birthday--approaches, I don’t want to keep thinkin’ about what I’m gonna get.
‘Cuz...I wanna make this day about what I can GIVE BACK to a gig that’s given me more than just a steady paycheck! All I can say...is that pushin’ myself to go far in the Roulette would be the best return of ‘em all. If I win the darn thing, yay!
If I don’t...I’ll pick myself back up again as I’ve done plenty of times before!
But let’s be clear, this contest ain’t about me, Rob Diamond, or Steve Awesome--a.k.a. Bein’ InFamous. This ain’t even about tryin’ the same old song-and-dance routine about stoppin’ the Pack or the Clergy.
This is about IWF...as a family!
Specifically, this is about the men and women who came before--or after in some cases--me and made an impact on the place in some fashion, and yeah...that includes the dude who, at this time last year, called out his own roster--myself included--as useless. ‘Cuz here’s the deal...while bein’ an almighty remorseless bastard was Spike Kane’s favorite thing in the world, honestly...he showed somethin’ far bigger than what he was lettin’ on in my opinion. The same could be said for Bob Pooler and Devlin Raine; they were good-meanin’ dudes who could be snarky at times to those that disagreed with ‘em, they each had great careers in their own right, but again...they had somethin’ in common. You got the dudes and dudettes who couldn’t quite live up to the hype, but if there was one thing that truly stood out among the IWF family in general, it’s this one simple thing:
They all put their bones--and in some cases, lives--into matches like the Roulette...not for the mere sake of winnin’ accolades or trophies, but for love of the game.
Nothin’ more, nothin’ less.
When I signed on the Imperial dotted line back in 2016, all I wanted to do was have fun with the work I did, but...I knew what I was gettin’ into. I wasn’t the fastest and certainly not the strongest, and most times--just like every new city I’ve seen in my travels--I’d find myself surrounded by those who prolly wanted to kick my butt. Some meant well, others were dicks, but in theory...they ALL loved this business as much as I did. Yet what scared me the most, and perhaps in an ironic way, was that ya had dudes like Warren Kane, who’s claimed to hate his old man’s guts with a passion, yet spews out his old man’s venom in a thinly-veiled diatribe that essentially--albeit with a lot less COWBELL than Spike--calls the entire roster “useless pieces of shit” for not goin’ with the grain, as it were. In his mindset, and in the minds of some others, ya had a choice:
Pick a side...and be subjugated by the other!
Don’t pick a side...and be destroyed by both of ‘em!
That’s the kind of sentiment I’ve seen espoused by, say, Rowan, Spike, or Angel Blake, and to me...that kind of mentality is what’s been destroyin’ the world we live in, both inside AND outside the ring, from the halls of Congress to our very own locker room! That’s what’s VERY scary about the pickle IWF has found itself in, and honestly...I have no idea on how to handle that kind of fear. It’s the same kind of fear I experienced when Stage IV breast cancer, and its treatments, robbed MY MOTHER of her life in a three-month span! It’s the worry I felt when Warren Kane’s boy toy Dean Harper took Yulia from me, or when Rowan lit Fiona on fire!
And I, for one, cannot live like that no more!
In hindsight, from my experiences with Rob Diamond and especially Steve Awesome...in the latter’s case, even the biggest of dicks can turn out to be bodacious buddies. That’s why I started hangin’ and bangin’ with them guys--’cuz they represented the best of BOTH sides of what Humanity has to offer, the light and the dark! ‘Cuz we just wanted to be ourselves and not pretend to be someone we ain’t; we didn’t wanna worry about chainin’ ourselves to hypocritical religious doctrine or well-intentioned, but Draconian, Bushido-like codes of honor.
‘Cuz we wanted to prove to a divided world that, just like the lovable but loudmouthed Del Griffith, what you see is what you get!
That’s why Bein’ InFamous was created...to send a loud and clear message to the Imperial Wrestlin’ Family as a whole, that we are sick and tired of the spooky, demonic crap bein’ force-fed into our minds every stinkin’ week! We don’t wanna march out to that ring ridin’ high horses and thinkin’ we’re better than anyone else; ‘cuz...we know we ain’t, nor do we wanna be that way! We all, just like the Flintstones or Jetsons dudes next door, wanna have FUN with our work again! We all wanna tackle the biggest challenges by travelin’ from city to city, country to country! Win or lose, we wanna wrestle the greatest and brightest stars out there WITHOUT BEIN’ SCARED that some demon’s gonna do the things we’ve seen in the past two years!
It don’t matter if I’m number twenty-five or number one in the Roulette, it don’t matter whether I’m champ or not...THAT is why I wanna keep pushin’ myself to do what I love doin’...so that I wouldn’t have to feel scared no more!
I ain’t changin’ a darn thing about that--even though this is gonna be a case of every man for himself, even though Steve or Rob have just as much of a chance to win this sucker as everyone else!
After all, the Roulette should be a showcase of talented superstars with a common goal, to provide audiences with non-stop thrills and give the future generations of l’il dudes and dudettes can be inspired to someday step into that ring themselves! That’s what this gig should stand for; it’ should NEVER, EVER be about bein’ forced to pick sides in a never-endin’ cycle of war and destruction caused by a select few that truly despise the very principles unto which Imperial Wrestling was founded upon!!!
So to those who wanna treat us like their own personal pawns, who threaten IWF’s very foundation as a company or plan to follow in the current bullies’ footsteps, I say to you now...LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD!!!
IWF is supposed to an excitin’ joint that belongs to everyone! It belongs to the people who come out to see us perform in the arena or watch us from the comforts of home! It belongs to the men and women who spill blood and put their necks on the line every week so that future fans can be inspired by what we do! It belongs to the personnel whose duty it is to make sure everything runs smoothly, from the folks doin’ the setup to the folks in the truck!
No one side controls our overall destiny!
No one faction can tell us what we can and can’t do!
No angel, demon, or impish prince will make us bow to them again!
The score is really simple...thirty men are gonna compete to see who gets on IWF’s biggest stage, but the Roulette ain’t about choosin’ alliances or stickin’ with your brotherhood at all costs. It’s about puttin’ your body on the line so you can earn respect, it’s about givin’ it your very best against those that wanna kick your teeth in! In this contest of skill dudes...the only choice that REALLY matters is this credo from one of my favorite flicks, one that STILL applies to this very day, that’s inscribed on a memorial plaque that honors the very man who brought me into this industry nine years ago:
”Get busy livin’...or get busy dyin’.”
Step up to the plate...or grab some pine!
I, for one, am feelin’ pretty froggy about this match--and for good reason--’cuz I dunno if I’m gonna be the last dude standin’ or not. Yet if there’s anything I’ve learned from bein’ in this grand gig with the likes of a Rob Diamond or Steve Awesome, on a personal and professional level, it’s that when we’re out in that ring, we gotta push ourselves to the very limit ‘cuz that’s how we give the fans a good thrill and leave ‘em beggin’ for more. We gotta sacrifice our bodies week in and week out ‘cuz this is our livelihood, our way of livin’! We gotta ride the waves together ‘cuz the alternative...would be to cower in our fears and suffer a gnarly wipeout as a consequence!
That’s what “dare to dream” is really all about!
That’s what bein’ a REAL Champion truly represents!
That’s what gives us hope...and we gotta give that hope back to the people!
I’ve got just one message for Rowan, Xavier, Leviathan, or any other ghastly Satanic wannabe that wishes to do this company harm: we’re takin’ Imperial back, we’re makin’ it FUN again, and there ain’t a darn thing you’re gonna be able to do to stop it!
I’ve been--no, WE’VE been--waitin’ two years for this...and now, it’s OUR turn to say “enough is enough, let’s bring the JOY back into the joint!”
No matter what side you’re on, no matter who you are, no matter how things pan out, the result is gonna be the same. You will be made, you will be measured, you will be tested, and you will all be left…
#Shellshocked!
Well howdy there pardner.