Post by Eddie D. on May 20, 2013 16:50:13 GMT
You know what sucks about a bitter sweet celebration?
It's bitter sweet.
Everybodies backstage drinking champagne, celebrating, saying their goodbyes or see you laters or whatever. Cept me. I'm not playing that game. Mostly because I don't like or care about most of these mother truckers. So I'm just blowing past them, headed to my locker room, trying to avoide my "partner" like the plague because I'm pretty goddamn upset with him.
I come round a corner and there she is, the raven black haired beauty that just had the greatest night of her life, celebrating with the latest love of her life. I try to block the flood of memories that crash against the storm door of my brain but it's pretty damn hard. She waves me over, I try to pretend like I don't see her but she breaks free of her friends and family...
"ROB! ROB DID YOU SEE! DID YOU SEE WHAT XAVIER DID FOR ME!?"
Kinda hard not to see your ex girl friend's boy friend gift wrap her a world title she isn't supposed to be eligable for...
"Hell yeah I saw it!"
"OHMYGODOHMYGOD! How awesome was it!? Did you see the look on Alex's face? Best freaking night ever!"
"Yeah, I bet, looks like you're having a great time."
I'm trying pretty damn hard to stay all broody but this girl was the love of my life and she's the happiest I've seen her in a pretty damn long time, it's kind hard to stay pissed.
"Adam and Kelly and everyone is heading out to celebrate, you wanna come with?"
I take a peak over her shoulder at a collection of people I'd love to watch burn in a tire fire minus her father Gib, because Gib is one cool mother trucker.
"Think I'm gonna pass Zee. Think Spike said something about making sure he didn't kill Angel too bad. Probably gonna tag along for that."
"Oh..."
And there I go spoiling the night of her life like a true asshole.
"You sure? We'd love to have you."
Bullshit.
"Maybe I'll catch up with you guys later. Text me the name of where ever you end up."
"Sweet! I'll do it right now."
Her amazingly delicate hands punch in the name of the joint and she sends it my way. I quick check it, forget the name and stuff the phone back in my pocket.
"Cool, so maybe I'll see you later."
"You better not blow me off Rob."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"Kay. Cya there."
"You bet."
She rushes back to her friends and family, giddy as hell again. I walk a little too close to them and feel their hatred burning through me like Superman's lazer eyes. I swing a little close to Cross and whisper a little warning in his ear...
"Don't fuck this up..."
He shoots me a glance that I casually ignore because I'm a pimp and I get the hell out of there. Spike and I meet up outside, he's got his stuff, I've got mine. He looks like absolute shit. Angel really did a number on him. I laugh.
"Damn dude."
"Shut it."
"I'm just saying."
"So where we headed?"
"Chicago."
The both of us smirk. It's the dawn of a new day for InFamous, for Spike and I. tonight we closed the door on our long history with NCW, a history that will be remembered for a very long time. Today a we start new. Fresh. And this time we plan a being a lot more InFamous.
When I to record on my phone I'm standing outside of the United Center, brandishing my new tee, a hot pink with a Superman "S" on the front and the word "IT!" written below that. Looking pretty damn hot if I do say so myself. Even my beard gets more epic by the day.
"Wassup IWF? Name's Rob Diamond, most of ya'll know me as one of the most InFamous mother truckers on the whole damn planet. And for those of you who don't know me, ya'll better start doing some research because ISH is about to get real."
I love using slang that most people hate.
"Generally first impressions last a life time and you only get one shot to make em, that's why Spike and I plan on making a real damn bloody painful one on Sacrifice this week. A damn appropriate name if I ever heard one because the sorry sacks across the ring from us are going to have to sacrifice their souls to the devil to win this match."
And we all know how that worked out for Johnny Blaze.
"Now I know what you're thinking, big bad Rob Diamond and the God of Xtreme Spike Kane are going to make a bunch of sorted promises of pain and agony and things getting Xtreme and lives possibly being ended, careers brought to a bone crushing conclusion, perhaps even STD's being used in weaponized form and maybe even in that order because their are enough opponents to do such a thing. And you would be absolutely right that is exactly what we are going to talk about mostly because I have no idea who you people are. Granted, I've heard of Gen... Jen?... Ggggenray? Before and he ended up being my feathered friend Falcon in a lucha mask. However I'm pretty sure he isn't boring enough to pull the same stunt twice..."
Fingers crossed anyway.
"And if he were then he should no better because I've looked over his medical records pretty extensively, don't ask why, and I know exactly where he's weakest... Pretty much his whole spinal cord and or anything attached to it. One good shot to that baby and he crumples like a 36 year old man with a shit ton of medical history... Which... Is... Exactly... What he is... Now on the chance that Ganray or whatever isn't Kyle Braddock in a mask again then all I have to say is this..."
Close up.
"I don't like you. I don't like your stupid face. And if you so much as TRY to win this match I may just have to cripple you for the fun of it. Kay sunshine?"
Pan back to take in all my awesomesauceness.
"Of course that leaves his partner Cable Arcane, the guy whose name invokes so many awesome comic references it's not even funny. I mean I don't know if I should lead with the X-Men joke and then move into Swamp Thing or if I should go for something really obscure and make a necromancy/incest joke..."
You'd have to of read Alan Moore's Swamp Thing to smell what I'm cooking.
"Or if I should just skip right over all of that because you will probably play it off like that's your real name and I should just respect the fact that your awesome. WELL I DON'T! I don't even respect the fact that you've got balls enough to stand there with that name and act all surprised when a dick head like me wants to make fun of the size of your balls. But look Cable, I did a little digging, I know a thing or two about you. I know we hung around the same dive last year, wrestled some of the same people and I know I made a bigger impact my first week in that place than you did the whole time you were there. In fact, from what I remember of you you were too busy doing your best Angel impersonation. Let me tell you something, after the beating Spike gave him, he's the last person you wanna be like. So don't cross us."
I'm sure if Angel were capable of speaking he'd give you the same advise but he's probably too busy drinking his lunch through a straw this week.
"That leaves the new kids on the block... Well... We're all new... To IWF... But whatever! That leaves the James Gang. A brother pair who are looking to make it big in the big time. Well kids, I'm sure you've got some talent because IWF hired ya. I'm sure you've made some waves and earned your stripes on the indy's. I'm sure I don't give a rats smelly turd. I'm sorry. I wish I were capable of respecting the men across the ring from me but it's just not my thing. I'm too much of a heel for my own good and sometimes it costs me. However what I can tell you is this. Spike and I, we like to win gentlemen. And I don't mean like you guys. I don't mean we like to go out there, wrestle a solid match, best man wins and shakes hands afterward. Spike and I..."
I shoot one of my lovely, yet evil grins.
"We like to hurt people to win. We like to break bones. We like to shed blood. We like to hear grown men scream. And yeah, you can take that in a homo erotic way, I don't give a damn because it makes my trouser snake rock hard to hear a couple of grown ass men beg me to stop. But guess what kids? I don't stop until that bell rings and my name is being declared the winner... Mostly... And even then it's only because I feel a little bit sad for you. So please, do yourselves a favor and wipe the dream like glisten out of your freaking eyes and wake up to the fact that you are about to get hurt. Bad. Like soon. And that is an absolute promise. See, InFamous isn't just a clever marketing campaign on my part, it's exactly what we are, what we do and how we live."
Pan down to my sweet ass new tee just do they get the point.
"Suck it."
R Dizzle out.
It's bitter sweet.
Everybodies backstage drinking champagne, celebrating, saying their goodbyes or see you laters or whatever. Cept me. I'm not playing that game. Mostly because I don't like or care about most of these mother truckers. So I'm just blowing past them, headed to my locker room, trying to avoide my "partner" like the plague because I'm pretty goddamn upset with him.
I come round a corner and there she is, the raven black haired beauty that just had the greatest night of her life, celebrating with the latest love of her life. I try to block the flood of memories that crash against the storm door of my brain but it's pretty damn hard. She waves me over, I try to pretend like I don't see her but she breaks free of her friends and family...
"ROB! ROB DID YOU SEE! DID YOU SEE WHAT XAVIER DID FOR ME!?"
Kinda hard not to see your ex girl friend's boy friend gift wrap her a world title she isn't supposed to be eligable for...
"Hell yeah I saw it!"
"OHMYGODOHMYGOD! How awesome was it!? Did you see the look on Alex's face? Best freaking night ever!"
"Yeah, I bet, looks like you're having a great time."
I'm trying pretty damn hard to stay all broody but this girl was the love of my life and she's the happiest I've seen her in a pretty damn long time, it's kind hard to stay pissed.
"Adam and Kelly and everyone is heading out to celebrate, you wanna come with?"
I take a peak over her shoulder at a collection of people I'd love to watch burn in a tire fire minus her father Gib, because Gib is one cool mother trucker.
"Think I'm gonna pass Zee. Think Spike said something about making sure he didn't kill Angel too bad. Probably gonna tag along for that."
"Oh..."
And there I go spoiling the night of her life like a true asshole.
"You sure? We'd love to have you."
Bullshit.
"Maybe I'll catch up with you guys later. Text me the name of where ever you end up."
"Sweet! I'll do it right now."
Her amazingly delicate hands punch in the name of the joint and she sends it my way. I quick check it, forget the name and stuff the phone back in my pocket.
"Cool, so maybe I'll see you later."
"You better not blow me off Rob."
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"Kay. Cya there."
"You bet."
She rushes back to her friends and family, giddy as hell again. I walk a little too close to them and feel their hatred burning through me like Superman's lazer eyes. I swing a little close to Cross and whisper a little warning in his ear...
"Don't fuck this up..."
He shoots me a glance that I casually ignore because I'm a pimp and I get the hell out of there. Spike and I meet up outside, he's got his stuff, I've got mine. He looks like absolute shit. Angel really did a number on him. I laugh.
"Damn dude."
"Shut it."
"I'm just saying."
"So where we headed?"
"Chicago."
The both of us smirk. It's the dawn of a new day for InFamous, for Spike and I. tonight we closed the door on our long history with NCW, a history that will be remembered for a very long time. Today a we start new. Fresh. And this time we plan a being a lot more InFamous.
When I to record on my phone I'm standing outside of the United Center, brandishing my new tee, a hot pink with a Superman "S" on the front and the word "IT!" written below that. Looking pretty damn hot if I do say so myself. Even my beard gets more epic by the day.
"Wassup IWF? Name's Rob Diamond, most of ya'll know me as one of the most InFamous mother truckers on the whole damn planet. And for those of you who don't know me, ya'll better start doing some research because ISH is about to get real."
I love using slang that most people hate.
"Generally first impressions last a life time and you only get one shot to make em, that's why Spike and I plan on making a real damn bloody painful one on Sacrifice this week. A damn appropriate name if I ever heard one because the sorry sacks across the ring from us are going to have to sacrifice their souls to the devil to win this match."
And we all know how that worked out for Johnny Blaze.
"Now I know what you're thinking, big bad Rob Diamond and the God of Xtreme Spike Kane are going to make a bunch of sorted promises of pain and agony and things getting Xtreme and lives possibly being ended, careers brought to a bone crushing conclusion, perhaps even STD's being used in weaponized form and maybe even in that order because their are enough opponents to do such a thing. And you would be absolutely right that is exactly what we are going to talk about mostly because I have no idea who you people are. Granted, I've heard of Gen... Jen?... Ggggenray? Before and he ended up being my feathered friend Falcon in a lucha mask. However I'm pretty sure he isn't boring enough to pull the same stunt twice..."
Fingers crossed anyway.
"And if he were then he should no better because I've looked over his medical records pretty extensively, don't ask why, and I know exactly where he's weakest... Pretty much his whole spinal cord and or anything attached to it. One good shot to that baby and he crumples like a 36 year old man with a shit ton of medical history... Which... Is... Exactly... What he is... Now on the chance that Ganray or whatever isn't Kyle Braddock in a mask again then all I have to say is this..."
Close up.
"I don't like you. I don't like your stupid face. And if you so much as TRY to win this match I may just have to cripple you for the fun of it. Kay sunshine?"
Pan back to take in all my awesomesauceness.
"Of course that leaves his partner Cable Arcane, the guy whose name invokes so many awesome comic references it's not even funny. I mean I don't know if I should lead with the X-Men joke and then move into Swamp Thing or if I should go for something really obscure and make a necromancy/incest joke..."
You'd have to of read Alan Moore's Swamp Thing to smell what I'm cooking.
"Or if I should just skip right over all of that because you will probably play it off like that's your real name and I should just respect the fact that your awesome. WELL I DON'T! I don't even respect the fact that you've got balls enough to stand there with that name and act all surprised when a dick head like me wants to make fun of the size of your balls. But look Cable, I did a little digging, I know a thing or two about you. I know we hung around the same dive last year, wrestled some of the same people and I know I made a bigger impact my first week in that place than you did the whole time you were there. In fact, from what I remember of you you were too busy doing your best Angel impersonation. Let me tell you something, after the beating Spike gave him, he's the last person you wanna be like. So don't cross us."
I'm sure if Angel were capable of speaking he'd give you the same advise but he's probably too busy drinking his lunch through a straw this week.
"That leaves the new kids on the block... Well... We're all new... To IWF... But whatever! That leaves the James Gang. A brother pair who are looking to make it big in the big time. Well kids, I'm sure you've got some talent because IWF hired ya. I'm sure you've made some waves and earned your stripes on the indy's. I'm sure I don't give a rats smelly turd. I'm sorry. I wish I were capable of respecting the men across the ring from me but it's just not my thing. I'm too much of a heel for my own good and sometimes it costs me. However what I can tell you is this. Spike and I, we like to win gentlemen. And I don't mean like you guys. I don't mean we like to go out there, wrestle a solid match, best man wins and shakes hands afterward. Spike and I..."
I shoot one of my lovely, yet evil grins.
"We like to hurt people to win. We like to break bones. We like to shed blood. We like to hear grown men scream. And yeah, you can take that in a homo erotic way, I don't give a damn because it makes my trouser snake rock hard to hear a couple of grown ass men beg me to stop. But guess what kids? I don't stop until that bell rings and my name is being declared the winner... Mostly... And even then it's only because I feel a little bit sad for you. So please, do yourselves a favor and wipe the dream like glisten out of your freaking eyes and wake up to the fact that you are about to get hurt. Bad. Like soon. And that is an absolute promise. See, InFamous isn't just a clever marketing campaign on my part, it's exactly what we are, what we do and how we live."
Pan down to my sweet ass new tee just do they get the point.
"Suck it."
R Dizzle out.
Well howdy there pardner.