Post by Jess Fowler on Mar 10, 2020 16:10:03 GMT
Wrestling Assumer Newsletter#1
By Dave Seltzer
It ain’t just a dirt sheet.
It’s THE dirtiest sheet in the game.
That’s right! This is your first stop spot for all your favorite wrestling news and match reviews. That’s right, I Dave Seltzer, have been a long time pro wrestling fan. Since I was six years old. It is fair to say that over time I have acquired a knowledge of the sport that gives me credibility as a pro wrestling analyst even though I never actually have really worked for a wrestling company before. Or actually ever trained to be a wrestler. Although I do have a foot in the door to the business with sources everywhere. I have my finger on the pulse. I’m in on the ebbs and flows behind the curtain. I’m bringing all the latest scoops to you, dear reader.
Since this is the first edition of Wrestling Assumer Newsletter, I just want to say that I’m doing all this for the love of the sport. The love of the art. I want to help educate. I want to help spread my passion and help the business that I love with my contribution of knowledge and insight.
That being said, let’s move into my review of IWF Danger Zone.
What a pile of absolute garbage!
I’m not sure what was worse? The grudge match between Harper and Lockwood or the triple threat main event between the former Being Infamous?
That grudge match, they may have been trying to kill each other, but they definitely were trying to kill the damn business. How many curb stomps do you really need? Excessive violence in wrestling is an absolute turn off in my opinion. Especially when you know Caleb and Dean are capable of much more. All that build up for a spot fest? Total let down.
2 ½ Stars.
And the main event?
Steve Awesome as the IWF world champion is a travesty. It’s also an illustration of how the wrestling business relies solely on washed up stars of the past to carry it into the future. So many upcoming stars and yet the IWF is still sending that half step drunk down to the ring.
Not to mention they totally buried Rob Diamond.
Like he’s done.
No coming back from that loss.
Gilmore was good though.
1 star.
Overall, Danger Zone was a pretty mediocre pay per view. With or without the advantage of hindsight, the show was pretty predictable. Looking back after the fact, I could completely call every match.
Overall I give Danger Zone a C+.
The work rate was kind of sloppy and there was not enough finisher kick outs for my taste.
Rumor and Innuendo:
So I’ve had my sources out in the field reporting every little detail in preparation for the first edition of Wrestling Assumer Newsletter. It’s time to bring you the juicy tidbits. Of course all of this information is allegedly true to my knowledge.
Caleb Lockwood is rumored to be negotiating with a dancing reality show. Apparently he is really good at Salsa dancing.
Sources close to the beat are revealing that the Warren Kane you see each week isn’t the same person he used to be. Some say there was a falling out with the Kane family after IWF treated Patriarch, Spike Kane, like a cash grab after his death.
Rumor has it, Steve Awesome is planning on making a surprise appearance on XHF Network programming. More on that it develops.
Nighthawk has returned for the Roulette. In a more deep conspiracy theory Some say he was pulled back out of the cryogenic baby face deep freezer. It’s the same place they keep all the rest of their personality devoid good guys. Currently, it still holds Andrew Jacobsen and Jayson Matthews.
Speaking of Steve Awesome, I’ve heard from some sources, that James Gilmore was originally supposed to go over at Danger Zone but Steve Awesome went into business for himself and now the company is trying to save face and pretend there are no issues. This rumor doesn’t seem to have much legs until you consider the whole Miles Reyes situation from last year.
Fiona McFly is being called out for having a major crush on the world champion. She acts out a lot in public and claims to really hate Steve, but according to a specific source with a bit of a breathing issue, Fiona actually loves Steve and has built a statue of his likeness out of the champs used bubble gum.
In health issues we have Rob Diamond. I have a source at the tippy top of the IWF hierarchy and they are saying that Rob dropped the belt at Danger Zone because doctors are worried about his mental health. Between believing in Doppelgängers, and his love interest that he claims is the reincarnated Spike Kane, there are a lot of people that are really worried about the former champ. Apparently the pressures are really getting to him. More rumors claim he is also this new “Cipher” character.
It’s either that or Cipher is actually Colonel Sanders and this is all just a long drawn out KFC commercial.
Is Dean Harper and Angel father and son or secret lovers? Or Both!?
Is Abraxes actually a part of the Yakuza?
What is the deal with Wallace?
With all these surprise entrants locking in there place, is there a Falcon soaring high? What about a Phoenix? Might be a nice Valentine, that’s for sure.
Just how important is Roulette Entrant number 17 going to be?
And where the hell has Roberto Verona been lately? Why hasn’t he been backstage?
Find out all this and more on the next edition of Wrestling Assumer Newsletter.
I am Dave Seltzer.
Thanks for reading.
By Dave Seltzer
It ain’t just a dirt sheet.
It’s THE dirtiest sheet in the game.
That’s right! This is your first stop spot for all your favorite wrestling news and match reviews. That’s right, I Dave Seltzer, have been a long time pro wrestling fan. Since I was six years old. It is fair to say that over time I have acquired a knowledge of the sport that gives me credibility as a pro wrestling analyst even though I never actually have really worked for a wrestling company before. Or actually ever trained to be a wrestler. Although I do have a foot in the door to the business with sources everywhere. I have my finger on the pulse. I’m in on the ebbs and flows behind the curtain. I’m bringing all the latest scoops to you, dear reader.
Since this is the first edition of Wrestling Assumer Newsletter, I just want to say that I’m doing all this for the love of the sport. The love of the art. I want to help educate. I want to help spread my passion and help the business that I love with my contribution of knowledge and insight.
That being said, let’s move into my review of IWF Danger Zone.
What a pile of absolute garbage!
I’m not sure what was worse? The grudge match between Harper and Lockwood or the triple threat main event between the former Being Infamous?
That grudge match, they may have been trying to kill each other, but they definitely were trying to kill the damn business. How many curb stomps do you really need? Excessive violence in wrestling is an absolute turn off in my opinion. Especially when you know Caleb and Dean are capable of much more. All that build up for a spot fest? Total let down.
2 ½ Stars.
And the main event?
Steve Awesome as the IWF world champion is a travesty. It’s also an illustration of how the wrestling business relies solely on washed up stars of the past to carry it into the future. So many upcoming stars and yet the IWF is still sending that half step drunk down to the ring.
Not to mention they totally buried Rob Diamond.
Like he’s done.
No coming back from that loss.
Gilmore was good though.
1 star.
Overall, Danger Zone was a pretty mediocre pay per view. With or without the advantage of hindsight, the show was pretty predictable. Looking back after the fact, I could completely call every match.
Overall I give Danger Zone a C+.
The work rate was kind of sloppy and there was not enough finisher kick outs for my taste.
Rumor and Innuendo:
So I’ve had my sources out in the field reporting every little detail in preparation for the first edition of Wrestling Assumer Newsletter. It’s time to bring you the juicy tidbits. Of course all of this information is allegedly true to my knowledge.
Caleb Lockwood is rumored to be negotiating with a dancing reality show. Apparently he is really good at Salsa dancing.
Sources close to the beat are revealing that the Warren Kane you see each week isn’t the same person he used to be. Some say there was a falling out with the Kane family after IWF treated Patriarch, Spike Kane, like a cash grab after his death.
Rumor has it, Steve Awesome is planning on making a surprise appearance on XHF Network programming. More on that it develops.
Nighthawk has returned for the Roulette. In a more deep conspiracy theory Some say he was pulled back out of the cryogenic baby face deep freezer. It’s the same place they keep all the rest of their personality devoid good guys. Currently, it still holds Andrew Jacobsen and Jayson Matthews.
Speaking of Steve Awesome, I’ve heard from some sources, that James Gilmore was originally supposed to go over at Danger Zone but Steve Awesome went into business for himself and now the company is trying to save face and pretend there are no issues. This rumor doesn’t seem to have much legs until you consider the whole Miles Reyes situation from last year.
Fiona McFly is being called out for having a major crush on the world champion. She acts out a lot in public and claims to really hate Steve, but according to a specific source with a bit of a breathing issue, Fiona actually loves Steve and has built a statue of his likeness out of the champs used bubble gum.
In health issues we have Rob Diamond. I have a source at the tippy top of the IWF hierarchy and they are saying that Rob dropped the belt at Danger Zone because doctors are worried about his mental health. Between believing in Doppelgängers, and his love interest that he claims is the reincarnated Spike Kane, there are a lot of people that are really worried about the former champ. Apparently the pressures are really getting to him. More rumors claim he is also this new “Cipher” character.
It’s either that or Cipher is actually Colonel Sanders and this is all just a long drawn out KFC commercial.
Is Dean Harper and Angel father and son or secret lovers? Or Both!?
Is Abraxes actually a part of the Yakuza?
What is the deal with Wallace?
With all these surprise entrants locking in there place, is there a Falcon soaring high? What about a Phoenix? Might be a nice Valentine, that’s for sure.
Just how important is Roulette Entrant number 17 going to be?
And where the hell has Roberto Verona been lately? Why hasn’t he been backstage?
Find out all this and more on the next edition of Wrestling Assumer Newsletter.
I am Dave Seltzer.
Thanks for reading.
Well howdy there pardner.