Post by Rob Diamond on Mar 10, 2020 23:04:33 GMT
{ Hit me with your best shot is playing as we open on Rob Diamond not training for the Roulette at the moment but instead making himself, his daughter and Mama Spike Kane breakfast on this Wednesday morning between meet and greets and public appearances. }
Had Rob Diamond lost a step? Was the loss of his championship and possibly his friends too much to take?
But aren’t we always filming a hype video? Isn’t every minute of your daily routine constantly filmed and cataloged by the powers that be at IWF corporate for future exploitation and monetization?
Oh, it most certainly is.
{ Rob suddenly got worried as he began to rip through his kitchen looking for where the IWF had hidden all the cameras that were watching him. }
The stress was getting to him. The Roulette may be his last chance to reclaim glory. And the ever lurking threat of Cipher weighed heavy on his mind.
Of course Rob had to talk a big game, it was expected of him. But with his best friend as World Champion and his other best friend not talking to him and the Council of Robs seemingly all dead, what else could he do?
The bravado was appreciated but we all know Rob was just over compensating…
{ Rob waved his hands angrily as Mama Spike took Hope to get breakfast because clearly this was going to take a while. }
It would go a long way to show you care about winning the Roulette.
Even his doppelgangers had lost faith in him.
Original.
And if we are lucky, burn that ugly Hawaian shirt in the process.
It goes without saying, most of those are deep cuts.
Finally he’s taking this seriously. The IWF roster better be shaking in their boots.
{ Rob Diamond goes back to aggressively making breakfast for just himself as the many cameras continue to record… Ever watching… EVER. WATCHING. }
Had Rob Diamond lost a step? Was the loss of his championship and possibly his friends too much to take?
Rob Diamond - Confused
”What the hell is going on? We aren’t filming a hype video right now!?”
”What the hell is going on? We aren’t filming a hype video right now!?”
But aren’t we always filming a hype video? Isn’t every minute of your daily routine constantly filmed and cataloged by the powers that be at IWF corporate for future exploitation and monetization?
Rob Diamond - Suddenly checking for hidden cameras
”Wait… Is it?”
”Wait… Is it?”
Oh, it most certainly is.
{ Rob suddenly got worried as he began to rip through his kitchen looking for where the IWF had hidden all the cameras that were watching him. }
The stress was getting to him. The Roulette may be his last chance to reclaim glory. And the ever lurking threat of Cipher weighed heavy on his mind.
Rob Diamond - Getting annoyed
”Male mystery Eternity can go fuck themselves!”
”Male mystery Eternity can go fuck themselves!”
Of course Rob had to talk a big game, it was expected of him. But with his best friend as World Champion and his other best friend not talking to him and the Council of Robs seemingly all dead, what else could he do?
Rob Diamond - Dead pans the only camera he could find
”I could beat your fucking ass, Clarence, like I’m going to beat Cipher’s fucking ass and everyone elses fucking ass before I win the goddamn Roulette.”
”I could beat your fucking ass, Clarence, like I’m going to beat Cipher’s fucking ass and everyone elses fucking ass before I win the goddamn Roulette.”
The bravado was appreciated but we all know Rob was just over compensating…
Mama Spike - Already fed up with this
”Rob is perfectly adequate and I seriously don’t have time for this bullshit right now.”
Rob Diamond - Perfectly adequate
”What the hell do you want me to do, cut a promo from my kitchen on all the possible people who will enter the Roulette?”
”Rob is perfectly adequate and I seriously don’t have time for this bullshit right now.”
Rob Diamond - Perfectly adequate
”What the hell do you want me to do, cut a promo from my kitchen on all the possible people who will enter the Roulette?”
{ Rob waved his hands angrily as Mama Spike took Hope to get breakfast because clearly this was going to take a while. }
It would go a long way to show you care about winning the Roulette.
Rob Diamond - Offended
”You over paid sack of shit. How dare you imply I don’t care about winning the Roulette! It’s the only goddamn thing on my mind!”
Canadian Rob Diamond - Last remaining Council of Rob member alive
”It would be nice if my continued survival was also on his mind, eh?”
Rob Diamond - Heard that
”Shut up!”
”You over paid sack of shit. How dare you imply I don’t care about winning the Roulette! It’s the only goddamn thing on my mind!”
Canadian Rob Diamond - Last remaining Council of Rob member alive
”It would be nice if my continued survival was also on his mind, eh?”
Rob Diamond - Heard that
”Shut up!”
Even his doppelgangers had lost faith in him.
Rob Diamond - Currently looking for a new narrator
”FINE! You want me to cut a promo on the Roulette and prove I care about winning then I will! But I’m not gonna stand here like all the other lame asses and trash talk everyone on the roster! NO! I’m going to go on a tirade of rampant speculation about the possible surprise returns!”
”FINE! You want me to cut a promo on the Roulette and prove I care about winning then I will! But I’m not gonna stand here like all the other lame asses and trash talk everyone on the roster! NO! I’m going to go on a tirade of rampant speculation about the possible surprise returns!”
Original.
Rob Diamond - Very original
”First of all! NIGHTHAWK! Not even a surprise really because you legit showed yourself on camera like six seconds into the promo! Regardless! You’re technically a surprise return and while it’s totally cool to see you back or whatever I am absolutely throwing your ass over the top rope!”
”First of all! NIGHTHAWK! Not even a surprise really because you legit showed yourself on camera like six seconds into the promo! Regardless! You’re technically a surprise return and while it’s totally cool to see you back or whatever I am absolutely throwing your ass over the top rope!”
And if we are lucky, burn that ugly Hawaian shirt in the process.
Rob Diamond - Rampantly speculating
”Who else is gonna drag their ass back for a world title shot? Angel? Well fuck him because his ass ain’t even God anymore so that means my priesthood in his church is null and void and I want my $40 back!”
“Who else? Ace? Probably too busy over analyzing Picard to drag his tired ass back again even though I totally love him and Jake still hasn’t returned my phone calls!”
“Kristoff Liam Bates? Pretty sure he’s in jail for a double homicide or something but if he gets his release in time for the Roulette you better believe I’ll toss him like it’s my perfectly normal business!”
“Lex Sense? Imagine if that flash in the pan found his balls long enough for me to kick them into oblivion?”
“Xavier Cross? Title shots are about the only reason he ever tries to come back to IWF so he may just show up! And you know what!? I’d love to send him packing right back to the XHF network where all the other jack offs hang out because the big boys in IWF hurt their feels too bad!”
“Maybe Joe Everyman or Sexy Jason or even the great Adam Knite himself will turn up! That would be great. I’ve been dying to punch them all square in the face.”
“What other jackasses we got in the former talent roster who could turn up? Kole Kaos? JFK? Fuck those guys. Alex *Redacted* or Renee *Redacted*!? It’d be my pleasure to bury them. Maybe Jason Sandman or one of the Keeton boys? Some other fucking loser from PWA trying to make it in IWF for the tenth time? I’ll kick all of your asses. Hell, find Captain Howdy so I can finally give him a receipt for that tag team title loss that no one else but me remembers!”
”Who else is gonna drag their ass back for a world title shot? Angel? Well fuck him because his ass ain’t even God anymore so that means my priesthood in his church is null and void and I want my $40 back!”
“Who else? Ace? Probably too busy over analyzing Picard to drag his tired ass back again even though I totally love him and Jake still hasn’t returned my phone calls!”
“Kristoff Liam Bates? Pretty sure he’s in jail for a double homicide or something but if he gets his release in time for the Roulette you better believe I’ll toss him like it’s my perfectly normal business!”
“Lex Sense? Imagine if that flash in the pan found his balls long enough for me to kick them into oblivion?”
“Xavier Cross? Title shots are about the only reason he ever tries to come back to IWF so he may just show up! And you know what!? I’d love to send him packing right back to the XHF network where all the other jack offs hang out because the big boys in IWF hurt their feels too bad!”
“Maybe Joe Everyman or Sexy Jason or even the great Adam Knite himself will turn up! That would be great. I’ve been dying to punch them all square in the face.”
“What other jackasses we got in the former talent roster who could turn up? Kole Kaos? JFK? Fuck those guys. Alex *Redacted* or Renee *Redacted*!? It’d be my pleasure to bury them. Maybe Jason Sandman or one of the Keeton boys? Some other fucking loser from PWA trying to make it in IWF for the tenth time? I’ll kick all of your asses. Hell, find Captain Howdy so I can finally give him a receipt for that tag team title loss that no one else but me remembers!”
It goes without saying, most of those are deep cuts.
Rob Diamond - Going for the gold
”Fact of the matter is I don’t care who returns at the Roulette. I don’t care who Roberto offers some money to for a one off appearance. I don’t care who finds the time in their not so busy schedule to give IWF one more shot.”
“I’ll be here when it’s over.”
“Win or lose.”
“Not a damn one of the surprise returns is going to be able to say that. As for all the boys currently on the roster looking to the Roulette to cement their legacy in this company? I got super bad news for all ya’ll. I’m winning the goddamn Roulette. I’m going to Night of the Immortals. And I’m prying my title out of Steve Awesome’s proverbial cold, dead hands!”
”Fact of the matter is I don’t care who returns at the Roulette. I don’t care who Roberto offers some money to for a one off appearance. I don’t care who finds the time in their not so busy schedule to give IWF one more shot.”
“I’ll be here when it’s over.”
“Win or lose.”
“Not a damn one of the surprise returns is going to be able to say that. As for all the boys currently on the roster looking to the Roulette to cement their legacy in this company? I got super bad news for all ya’ll. I’m winning the goddamn Roulette. I’m going to Night of the Immortals. And I’m prying my title out of Steve Awesome’s proverbial cold, dead hands!”
Finally he’s taking this seriously. The IWF roster better be shaking in their boots.
{ Rob Diamond goes back to aggressively making breakfast for just himself as the many cameras continue to record… Ever watching… EVER. WATCHING. }
Well howdy there pardner.