Being InFamous: The final hype

[Rob Diamond]

With the Roulette only days away we find the InFamous One himself, Rob Diamond, hard at work preparing his mind and his body.

{ Rob Diamond is sat in front of a computer screen observing the current active male roster of the IWF. }

Rob Diamond - Feverishly preparing
”I’ve gotta be ready for anything and anyone. Roulette is well known for surprise returns and debuts, I touched on that last time. But I’ve also gotta prepare for the jack asses on the active roster.”

Mama Spike - Doesn’t know if this is a joke or not
”He’s literally been staring at that computer for days now.

Rob Diamond always says he’s the hardest working man in professional wrestling but one has to wonder if the recent trauma in his life is causing him to lose a step?

{ Rob, still sat in front of the computer screen is now eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s “Cherry Garcia.” }

Rob Diamond - Possibly losing it?
”I’ve gotta carbo load, this is a big match, a long match and I’m gonna have to go in hard and fast and out last everyone else. This isn’t the sort of thing where you wanna pump and dump. You gotta be able to really work it, tease out the climax so we can bring this thing to a satisfying conclusion and go home with a bang.”

Mama Spike - Shaking her head
”Was that just one long innuendo?”

Chris Diamond - Rob’s older and more serious brother
”I’ve seen Rob at some real hard moments in his life. Like that time everyone thought he had sex with a goat and that time he was dating that really large girl and any number of times Spike Kane betrayed him or any number of other times Steve Awesome betrayed him or that time he had a finger cut off. But this latest go round? Between the Being InFamous stuff and that Cipher cunt killing off all the other Jet Li’s? Rob’s really cracking under the pressure. I thought all the other Rob’s dying would make the remaining Rob’s stronger but it turns out it just makes them weirder.”

{ The ice cream now finished we see Rob shadow boxing the active roster list on his computer screen. }

Rob Diamond - Clearly being effected
”Is everything getting to me? I don’t think so. In fact I think I’m more focused and prepared than ever and everyone questioning whether or not I’ve still got it is gonna have to choke on it.”

Mama Spike - Somewhat worried
”Look, I’m not going to sit here and lie to your faces and say Rob is totally fine. Truth is, I think if one more thing goes wrong for him he’s going to absolutely go into a manic rage and kill someone. Which would be totally hot because, after all, I am a version of Spike Kane and blood and violence is sexy to me but at the same time… I kind of like Rob being all noble and shit.”

Falcon - Once wrestled Rob for the love of a teenage girl (Also much older than Rob so it was sort of creepy at the time)
”Change that graphic.”

Due to the corona virus we are unable to re enter post and change the graphic.

Falcon - Kind of a creep
”Fine… Rob has always had one foot squarely set in crazy town. I think the multi verse traversing is enough proof of that. But even then, dude works harder than anyone I know and just because you don’t see him putting in the reps doesn’t mean he isn’t.”

With Rob’s remaining friends and family clearly worried, one has to wonder if his attempt to win the Roulette is nothing more than a fool’s errand?

Rob Diamond - A fool?
”I get it. Making it seem like I’m a french fry short of a happy meal going into this match sells tickets. Everyone wants to think Being InFamous is done, that my tenure at the top is a one and done deal and IWF is just going to move on with their new and not as sexy as he thinks he is champion.”

{ Rob Diamond is still sat at his computer screen, only now there is a picture of Steve Awesome, naked, with the World title covering his privates and the other two belts over his shoulders. “

Rob Diamond - Has weird screen savers
”Thing is, no one ever thought I’d become the World Champion. No one ever thought I’d win the Joker in the Pack. No one ever thought I’d beat Ethan King’s ass so bad he’d fucking quit professional wrestling and turn to male prostitution, allegedly. But I did all those fucking things! I climbed to the top of this mother fucker with nothing more than raw determination and a fucking sense of humor!”

{ Rob straight up puts his fist through his computer screen. }

Yeesh, that was a mac book…

Rob Diamond - Has money to burn, apparently
”So Steve Awesome wants to pretend like he actually fucking accomplished something!? Well guess what asshole? Not only do I fucking promise to throw your ass out of the Roulette, I promise to win this mother fucker and go on to Night of Immortals and prove to the whole damn world you’re a one hit wonder just re releasing the same fucking song for the last ten years!”

Brutal but honest.

Rob Diamond - A little fired up
”And I know Cipher is coming for me in the Roulette. I know he’s got some grand plan to make a big debut and eliminate the top guy in the promotion. But guess what ass clown? Shit is gonna blow up in your fucking face. You may have ‘killed’ off some of my doppelgangers, committing several hate crimes along the way, but you ain’t never squared off with the one and only O.G. Rob Diamond. And you’re gonna fucking regret stepping to me when I toss your ass faster than a pregnancy kit at Steve Awesome’s trailer!”

Perhaps Rob Diamond isn’t as distracted and forlorn as we like to think? Perhaps he is more focused than ever? Perhaps the IWF is about to be reminded of just how goddamn good Rob Diamond really is.

Rob Diamond - Has two words for ya
”SUCK IT!”