Monday Night Sacrifice
April 6th 2020
3Arena Dublin Republic of Ireland
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SEGMENT
Heroes Deserve a Prize
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{A siren goes off on the camera feed}
Have you missed her? I have her.
You'll never get her back.
You took what I wanted.
Now you get
W̘͚̱͂̍̚ḥ̀͑ͅa͓̗͐̎͜͞t̙̮̀̔ ̹̈́İ̮͍̳̅͌ ̖͚̐̽Ḋ̝͎̮̰̒̐̚ė̺̪͋s̞̭̜̉̕͘e̞̪̝̹̔̃̚͠r̹̥̰̗̻͂͂͌͋̕v͎͊e̹̥̭̍̐͛̒͟͜͞
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SINGLES MATCH
On Location at the Sayed Estate
Almir Sayed vs Gavin Crossdale
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LIVE FROM THE SAYED ESTATE!
{ “Snake Charmer” by Annon Domini begins to play as Haseem steps out through the curtain onto the personal stage at Almir’s lavish estate with the title above his head “SAYED WORLD WRESTLING!” Haseem smiles and waves to several dozen cardboard cutouts of Haseem that surround the ring with piped in cheers. }
Haseem: It is my honor, my privilege, my sacred duty to introduce to you the MONEY MAKER!!! ALMIR!!! SAYED!!!
{ With that, Almir steps out through the curtain with arms thrown out and his head held back. The faux crowd cheers him like crazy as he looks out with a smile. Together the two men head down the steps and toward the ring. Haseem runs ahead to hold down the second rope for his companion. Almir enters the ring and drops to his knees in the center, arms out as Haseem demands the crowd respect him! }
Live via screen in screen, Vasco Dias and Terri Morasco!
Terri Morasco: This is weird.
Vasco Dias: What’s weird?
Terri Morasco: That Almir is wrestling from his home.
Vasco Dias: There’s a pandemic outside, Terri!
Terri Morasco: Not according to Roberto Verona or the IWF News Network.
Vasco Dias: Well according to Almir there is and the wonderful Eddie D. granted Almir’s request to wrestle from home for the foreseeable future.
Terri Morasco: Insanity.
{ Gavin Crossdale is already in the ring as Almir walks around waving and blowing kisses at the faux crowd. Almir stops at Gavin and extends an elbow for a bump. Gavin raises his own elbow and Almir hits him with a left cross! Haseem, the referee apparently, calls for the bell! }
Vasco Dias: Almir lured in the incredible Gavin Crossdale with the elbow dap!
Terri Morasco: The what?
Vasco Dias: Elbow dap, it’s safer than a fist bump!
Terri Morasco: Not for Gavin it wasn’t!
Vasco Dias: Good one!
{ Almir begins to stomp Gavin in the corner who is fighting to reach his feet but Almir will not let him. Haseem casually looks around as opposed to making a five count as Gavin screams that he has the ropes. }
Vasco Dias: Do you think Haseem is a classically trained referee?
Terri Morasco: Doesn’t appear to be.
{ Almir backs off and holds his arms up as Haseem claps wildly for his friend. Gavin pulls himself up to his feet and spins Almir around but Sayed kicks him in the gut and hits Gavin with Pay Dirt! Almir covers but immediately pulls Gavin back up at 1! }
Vasco Dias: Almir is giving Gavin a fighting chance, very courageous of him!
Terri Morasco: Incredulous is more like it.
Vasco Dias: I agree, Almir is incredible!
{ Almir pulls Gavin up to his feet just to scoop Crossdale’s legs out from under him and spin him around the ring in the Silicon Swing! Almir lets loose after ten rotations and Gavin hits hard. Almir heads to the ring apron and again waves at the faux crowd. }
Vasco Dias: The fans are really eating this up tonight.
Terri Morasco: They are a captive audience…
{ Almir slingshots himself back into the ring hitting Gavin with the High Rise! Almir goes for the cover again but once again pulls Gavin’s head back up at the 1 count. }
Vasco Dias: A show of respect there by Almir.
Terri Morasco: What the hell are you talking about!?
{ Almir pulls Gavin up to his feet and pats him on the shoulder for his effort before pulling Gavin in and releasing him for the MONEY MAKER!!! Gavin is down and Almir makes the cover but also kicks his feet up on the ropes for more leverage!!! Haseem slides down at an angle he can’t see Almir’s feet and it’s ONETWOTHREE!!!!!! }
Terri Morasco: HOLY FAST COUNT!
Vasco Dias: What a great showing by Almir!
{ Almir pops off and Haseem is happy to raise his friends hand. }
Terri Morasco: Did he really need to cheat?
Vasco Dias: It was a hard fought match, sometimes you have to play dirty to put a tough opponent down.
Terri Morasco: You can’t be serious.
{ Haseem gets back on a mic. }
Haseem: YOUR WINNER! THE CHOSEN ONE! THE MAN OF A THOUSAND WAYS TO WIN!!! ALMIR SAYED!!!!
{ Almir bows as the piped in cheers get louder. }
Vasco Dias: Haseem taking a little shot at Nighthawk there.
Terri Morasco: I’m thinking Almir should put his money where his mouth is and invite Nighthawk out to his estate for a match?
Vasco Dias: And risk letting that filthy bird bring a pandemic into his home! How dare you Terri!
{ Almir continues to celebrate as we head to a commercial break. }
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SEGMENT
Virginia Stepanov: First Imperial Diamond Champion
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{The camera pans over the view from the top of Dublin castle, taking in the sights for a moment before it focuses on Virgina Stepanova as she paces along the ramparts. A cocky smile is on her face and she has her hair up in a pair of buns on either side of her head. She is wearing a pair of torn up black jeans with combat boots, and a black corsetted asymmetrical coat that frames the Imperial Diamond Championship belt she is wearing rather well. She dusts her hand across the front plate of the title and bumps her eyebrows with a smirk.}
“I said I was going to do it, and I did. I tore my way through that tournament and beat everyone that came across my path. Now, I’m the first Imperial Diamond Champion. I have cemented my position in this company in my third ever match. I am just that good.”
{She lifts her shoulders in a ‘what can ya do’ sort of shrug.}
“I never had any doubt with it. But I know plenty of other people did. That I was just a loudmouth who was full of herself. Never mind that any ring I enter I own. Just like I own this shiny new belt.”
{She moves to lean against the side of the castle, giving the backdrop of the scenery behind her as the camera moves to keep her in frame.}
“So what’s next for the youngest Imperial Diamond Champion ever? It’s a good question. What should I do now. The whole of the world is laid out before me. Well I will tell you what I’ll do. It’s what I’ve been doing. Dominating my way through this company. Put whoever you want in front of me and I’ll kick their damn head off. I’m not gonna sit back and hide. I’ll make sure you all know where to find me.”
{She grins, draping her arms across the stone behind her, lounging in place in an image of relaxed confidence.}
“So form a line, ladies. Get real hungry. I want you at your best so that when I buckle you up and put you on that Final Ride I know it was against the best. What else would you expect from the oldest Imperial Diamond champion that there has ever been?”
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SINGLES MATCH
Nick Knight vs Jack Ferriman
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Alison Valance: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Terri Morasco: We have an interesting match up here.
Vasco Dias: If you say so.
{What's Up Danger begins to play as the lights in the arena dim. A black and white image of Jack appears on the Imperatron as Jack slowly steps out onto the ramp, adjusting thelong black coat he is wearing over his ring gear and cracking his neck. He slowly turns his head as he gazes around the arena before setting his eyes on the ring, slowly walking down the ramp and stepping easily through the ropes. He flexes his shoulders as he turns in a slow circle before settling into his corner, tilting his head Michael Meyers style as he stares down the referee.}
Alison Valance: First down to the ring… Jack Ferriman!
Terri Morasco: Jack has recently been pretty angry lately.
Vasco Dias: He’s been improving though. So maybe anger is a good thing?
{The opening chords of “Momma Said Knock You Out” hits over the arena sound system as Nick Knight steps onto the entrance ramp. “The Hollywood Butcher” is showered with boos from the fans that at another time in another place adored him. Dressed in old school black trunks with and blackt-shirt that reads Uber Heel in purple . Nick slowly moves towards the ring some fans on the aisle still reach to high five the once fan favorite, but they do not exist in Knight’s world. He is 100% focused on the battle ahead of him and never looks out from beneath the trademark towel draped over his head.
“The Hollywood Butcher” reaches ring side and climbs onto the apron. Out of respect for the hollowed ground that his the squared circle he wipes his feet before stepping between the top and middle ropes. Ripping away the towel his stares (either across the ring or down the entry ramp) at his opponent as he bounces from foot to foot waiting for the action to start.}
Alison Valance: Next down to the ring is Nick Knight!
Terri Morasco: Nick had some pretty harsh things to say about IWF management leading up to this match.
Vasco Dias: I get it. IWF acts like all new talent is fresh out of the gym but he has a career before this. He deserves the recognition.
{Jack and Nick view each other across the ring until the bell goes off Nick hits Jack with a German suples followed by a dragon suplex. Jack gets up and hits him with a snapmare and a headbutt.}
Terri Morasco: This match is going back and forth.
Vasco Dias: Like most matches do, Terri.
{Jack hits Nick with a big boot and a rear naked slam. Nick responds with a snap sito suplex and a hard headbutt.}
Terri Morasco: Nick is not going down easy here.
{Nick hits Jack with some heavy chops and an eye rake.}
Vasco Dias: Nick getting some advantage here.
{Nick hits Jack with a Non-Dairy Creamer followed by a LA LA LAND! Jack struggles for a moment before tapping out.}
Alison Valance: And your winner… Nick Knight!
{Nick lets go of Jack and gets his hand raised above his head as his music plays.}
Terri Morasco: Nick really showed his skills here.
Vasco Dias: He really did.
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SEGMENT
The world needs a little more chaos
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{ Inside of a crowded Western saloon, the noise resonated from the many patrons that filled the area. There were people in one corner playing pool; people on the dancefloor partaking in line dancing for the country atmosphere this bar was known for; the bar of course, but the camera panned until it fell on the primary subject: Locke. He was sitting at a table with five others, all playing Texas Hold ‘Em, wearing his signature hat lowered so that his eyes were not visible to the camera. His fingers bent the cards that laid face down on the table slightly up to see what his two cards were; he had the usual smirk on his face. The game continued at a standard pace.}
Locke (Voiceover): I’ve been around this world many times… many people know my name. Many people praise my name. I told all y’all last week that you were in for a real treat when I signed my contract with the IWF, and ain’t nothin’ changed ‘bout that statement! The first sac-ree-fice given to me was some cowlicker called Adel-- and I am ready for my next challenger!
{ The game was now set. Five cards laid facing up: the ace of hearts, ace of diamonds, jack of spades, three of clubs, and seven of clubs. Locke withdrew his cards to himself giving them one more look--unbeknownst to the other players, he used a sleight of hand to switch one of the cards out. Locke pushed all of his chips into the middle of the table, and the entire table began eyeing him to determine whether he was bluffing or not. The next person chose to call, but the next two folded; the fourth called, and the fifth folded. Locke licked his lips as he laid his cards down… }
Locke: Read ‘em and weep, boys!
{ Locke laid down the ace of spades and jack of spades indicating that he had a full house-- a couple others threw their cards down in frustration, and Locke reached forward to pull back all the chips but one person reached out and grabbed his arm… }
Man: You cheat!
Locke: How dare you accuse me of such an action!
{ The man threw down his own ace of spades. }
Locke: Wha’?
Man: Show me what’s up your sleeves!
{ Locke showed his sleeves revealing nothing… }
Locke: Now you show us all yours!
{ The man seemed proud knowing that he was not cheating, pulled his sleeves up and a bunch of cards came falling out; shock and surprise filled his face, but Locke didn’t seem surprised… as if he had done something of magic to place the cards up his sleeves. The other people at the table grabbed the man and began dragging him away while Locke collected his chips. }
Locke: How dare you! HOW! DARE! YOU! No good yellowbelly…
{ With his chips in hand, Locke walked to the cashier that had the players money while they played the game to collect his winnings… upon getting his cash he began counting it and watched a few of the other games being played-- with a snap of his fingers chaos seemed to ensue. One man tripped into another, who took it personally and so took a swing at him-- the brawl began, and like a tornado, seemed to gather everyone. The bartender was calling for security to help break up the fighting, as it all took place following Locke’s steps, who seemed to pay no mind to what was happening. But still smirking. }
Locke (Voiceover): I am ready to show y’all more of what I can do. More cards I can bring to the table. And I’ll tell ya: you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
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SINGLES MATCH
500 Word Limit
Caleb Lockwood vs Nighthawk
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Alison Valance: “This next contest is scheduled for one fall with a 60-minute time limit.”
{As the opening lines of “Are You Ready (Island Style Intro)” by Minmi boom out over the sound system, Nighthawk walks out carefully with his face covered by an orange-and-white hood and looks at the sold-out crowd with a happy smile on his face that slowly fades as he gets himself into the zone. Walking to the ring carefully, his hands hitting the outstretched hands of the fans in the front row, the Honolulan calmly ascends the top turnbuckle on the outside before removing his hood and raising one finger above his head and then moving to his corner where he removes his jacket and allows the referee to check him for foreign objects.}
Alison Valance: “Introducing first, from Honolulu, Hawaii and weighing in at 205 pounds…. ‘The Master of 1000 Holds’…. ‘The Wrestling Genius’ Nighthawk!”
{"Sorry to disappoint you..."
The whispered, guttural intro of "Dead Man Walking" echoes over the PA, the lights beginning to strobe, and Caleb Lockwood stalks out from the back, twirling a lead pipe in his hands as he glares out at the crowd for a moment, stalking down towards the ring. After his initial glance, he seems to completely ignore the crowd, focused solely on the ring in front of him as he advances with purpose in his eyes. Caleb slides into the ring, pushing himself up to his feet, and twirls the pipe in his hand, idly handing it to the referee before walking to a corner and grabbing the ropes, leaning forward and letting his grip arrest his momentum, bouncing back with a manic energy in his movements as the lights come up and the music fades.}
Alison Valance: “And his opponent, from Oakland, California and weighing in at 168 pounds…. Caleb Lockwood!”
Terri Morasco: “In a possible preview of the finals of the IWF World Television Title Tournament, Nighthawk and Caleb Lockwood battle in a one-on-one singles match loaded with history and meaning. Former friends, former hated enemies, and now they stand in each other’s way.”
Vasco Dias: “The interesting thing here, if you’re both of them, is that no one knows what the opening round matches are. How much of what you have in the bag do you want to show your opponent?”
{As the referee moves to check both men for foreign objects the tension between both men begins to ramp up ever higher as Caleb screams angrily across the ring that he will “make Nighthawk a monster” to which the Honolulan responds with nothing but a smile and a one-word response of “try”. Ringing the bell the referee steps into the center of the ring and strongly encourages both men to keep it clean before they go to a collar-and-elbow lockup and Nighthawk smoothly slips through into an attempt at a standing facelock, trying to lock the fingers together before Caleb uses his quickness to get out of the hold before it is even a quarter of the way applied. Taking off the rubberband holding his shoulder-length hair in place and throwing it into the crowd Nighthawk turns around and goes back to the collar-and-elbow lockup, the Honolulan bluffing going back to the standing facelock before instead locking in a tight standing armwringer as the Oaklander tries desperately to roll through the armwringer only to find himself on the mat in an armbar as somehow he has managed to make things worse for himself. Banging his forearm on the mat in frustration at having fallen into this trap Caleb exhales noticeably as he tries to counter out of the armbar with a headscissors which he gets with the aid of grinding the point of his elbow into the notoriously balky knees of Nighthawk, dragging the head of the “Wrestling Genius” down just enough to where the headscissors can get hooked in. Keeping calm when the referee checks to see if he wants to quit Nighthawk slowly moves into a perfect headstand while slowly using his strong hands and fingers to pry the headscissors loose enough to where he can get a flash prawn hold for a 2-count as Caleb Lockwood grumbles to himself as to how the match is going.}
Terri Morasco: “For someone who has always worn his heart on his sleeve, Caleb Lockwood is looking noticeably annoyed at the degree to which Nighthawk has walked him into traps. In only his 2nd singles match since the Roulette, it honestly looks as though Nighthawk has never lost a singular step.”
Vasco Dias: “If I was Nighthawk, I’d be working on putting together quick pinning combinations and getting out of here quick as I could. With the TV title tournament coming up soon, he cannot afford to be drawn into an absolute brawl of the sort I think Caleb Lockwood is itching to have. Caleb, while a capable technician, has allowed those skills to drop to the background and instead focused on being a brawler. And he is ALWAYS looking for a fight. Nighthawk, while someone who hits harder than you think he does, is not the sort of person who can really win a wild brawl. He has to do whatever he can to keep the heat down and prevent Caleb from boiling over.”
{Moving back into the center of the ring, Caleb again goes for a lockup and finds Nighthawk quickly passing through into a hammerlock before turning that into a wraparound armdrag followed by a tilt-a-whirl version before hitting a wheelbarrow armdrag which the Honolulan quickly holds onto for an armbar as he continues to stay focused on the arm of the Oaklander. Pushing himself up to his feet Caleb slips out of the standing armbar and then lands a forearm only to have Nighthawk look at him with amusement before Caleb lands another forearm as Nighthawk stands in the center of the ring and simply says “Are you kidding me?” before blasting him with a gigantic European uppercut that wobbles him three-quarters of the way across the ring. Going for the Concussion on Demand Nighthawk finds himself alley-ooped onto the ring apron where Caleb quickly hits a Beast of War that sends Nighthawk into the guardrail head-first. Taking advantage of the situation that is in front of him, with a half-mad snarl on his face, Caleb lands a Russian legsweep in the guardrail as his plan to go after the head of the “Wrestling Genius” begins to bear fruit. Dragging his man back in the ring, covering with the aid of a forearm across the orbital bone, Caleb nonetheless shoots a glare of hatred at the referee when informed that Nighthawk kicked out at 2. Pulling Nighthawk up to a seated position Caleb lands a shotgun basement dropkick to the back of the head and then one to the face, before pulling him up into a seated position and landing heavy crossfaces with his one good arm.}
Terri Morasco: “And this match, which started as a tense technical match, has turned into a fight. A brutal fight that you would have expected to see Caleb Lockwood drag Nighthawk into, but Nighthawk held his ground better than we would have expected. The question now is this: Can Nighthawk take these blows, and more, the longer this match goes?”
Vasco Dias: “We heard Alison Valance at the start of the match announce that Nighthawk weighed in this morning at 205 pounds, as opposed to Caleb Lockwood’s 168. That extra weight, and muscle mass, is both a positive and a negative. The positive: When Nighthawk hits Caleb, as we saw with that European uppercut, he flew. The negative: We don’t know if that muscle mass means less conditioning, even slightly. The longer this goes, the more we will find the answer to that question.”
{Rolling Nighthawk to a neutral corner Caleb lands a trio of facewashes before hitting a basement version of the Concussion on Demand, ending up going between the bottom and middle turnbuckle before he turns around and simply lands a cracking right hand right to the cheekbone which echoes throughout the arena and even lands a wince from the referee. Sliding back in the ring Caleb picks Nighthawk up going for a STO only to see the Honolulan step out of the way and land a barrage of knife-edge chops to the chest before going for a roaring elbow which is quickly countered into a Fading Hope, leaning in the corner as he tries to catch his breath before going for a cover. Kicking the bottom rope in frustration Caleb lands a running double-knee strike in the corner before going for a sit-out facebuster only to see the “Wrestling Genius” land a glancing enzuigiri that sends the Oaklander to the floor where he is quickly followed down with an attempt at a moonsault press to the floor, only to walk right into a leg lariat on the rebound. Rolling Nighthawk into the ring Caleb lands a slingshot somersault senton before going for another long 2-count. Losing his mind completely that this match isn’t over already Caleb begins to rip at the nose and mouth, screaming “JUST QUIT ALREADY” with utter rage and hatred before landing another heavy basement dropkick to the face and then going right back to ripping at the nose and mouth until the referee threatens disqualification. Going for a Curb Stomp Caleb is popped up in the air by the “Master of 1000 Holds” right into a Michinoku Driver, before both men collapse onto the mat.}
Terri Morasco: “Nighthawk’s tremendous powers of resilience once again on display. He took a serious beating and somehow managed to find an opening to land a pop-up Michinoku Driver to give himself some more time to think. But the question remains: Can a man who is noted for his technical prowess fight? Because, Vasco, to win this, he’s going to have to.”
Vasco Dias: “I think he can, Terri. We underestimate Nighthawk’s toughness. This is a man who gave Spike Kane and Angel Blake all they could handle in some of the most brutal matches we’ve ever seen. Nighthawk can fight, and fight hard, if he has to.”
{Pulling himself to his feet Nighthawk ducks a wild swing from Caleb and lands a lungblower to the arm followed by a backflip enzuigiri to the arm, his intent on setting up for the Hangman’s Clutch now readily apparent as Caleb staggers into a neutral corner holding his arm limply at his side. Letting out a war cry Nighthawk goes for, and gets, a Concussion on Demand right into a bridging tiger suplex that gets a very long 2-count. Rolling through the tiger suplex into the Road to Hana Special the Honolulan continues to crank on the hold as Caleb crawls towards the ropes, finally forcing a break of the hold. Carefully measuring Caleb as he crawls to his feet, Nighthawk goes for a bridging dragon suplex only for the Oaklander to land a well-timed back elbow right to the nose that appears to bloody it and send Nighthawk to one knee. Seeing his opening, Caleb charges in for a Curb Stomp.}
{But as Caleb goes in for the Curb Stomp Nighthawk ducks out of the way and hits a gorgeous flying armbar takedown right but the bell rings.}
Alison Valance: The match is a draw!
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SEGMENT
Is Rob Diamond cleared to compete?
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"Is Rob cleared to compete?"
{ We come back from commercial on a close up of the announce table. }
Terri Morasco: Two weeks ago at High Stakes we saw the return of Ethan King who proceeded to assault Rob Diamond in a vicious beat down.
{ We are taken to two weeks ago and a replay shot of Ethan King driving a steel chair into the side of Rob Diamond’s head and opening a large wound. After a slowmo replay and a close up of the pool of blood around Rob’s head we come back to the booth. }
Vasco Dias: It was a disturbing sight, indeed, I still have a hard time watching it.
Terri Morasco: Rob Diamond hasn’t been cleared for action since the attack but Vasco was able to talk to him earlier today via Skype.
{ We cut to earlier in the day and Vasco sitting besides a television screen with Rob Diamond’s visibly angry face on it. }
Vasco Dias: Rob, thank you for your time.
Rob Diamond: It’s what I do.
Vasco Dias: Let’s go ahead and get right to the meat of the situation, are you cleared to compete after what Ethan King did to you?
Rob Diamond: Am I cleared to compete?
{ Rob asks in a mocking tone. }
Rob Diamond: What kind of question is that? How about asking me if the doctors think I’ll ever be able to wrestle again? Or ask me what I think about what that asshat had to say for himself? Or ask me literally anything with more than two seconds of thought behind it!?
{ Vasco is taken back. }
Vasco Dias: Well it’s clear you heard what Ethan had to say for himself, what are your thoughts?
Rob Diamond: My thoughts, and to answer your first question and the question you didn’t think to as are this. WHEN I am cleared to compete, AND I WILL BE, I am going to hunt Ethan King down like a fucking dog and put him out of his misery like the rabid fucking animal he is.
Vasco Dias: So doctors think you should be fine?
Rob Diamond: The word fine is relative. I suffered a concussion because of that chair shot, 17 stitches. The doctors said an inch over in any direction could have caused some serious mental issues. And truth be told, they aren’t sure I won’t suffer from some down the road. But they told me, HOPEFULLY by Spring Knockout I should be cleared to compete.
Vasco Dias: I assume if you’re cleared you will be there to challenge Ethan King?
Rob Diamond: You bet your fucking ass I will be. That muppet looking mother fucker thinks he can just walk back into IWF and target me? And then act like it ain’t some personal vendetta? That’s fine. But while that straight to Shudder version of the Joker is off playing psychopath I’m gonna be getting ready to bury his bitch ass.
{ Rob gets a little closer. }
Rob Diamond: That is what everyone thinks I do around here anyway, right? Well no time to start like the present. By the time I’m done with Ethan King he’ll be so fucking buried even the Ex Haitch Jobber network won’t wanna sign him!
{ Rob leans forward and closes the laptop he was speaking into as we head back to the booth with Terri and Vasco. }
Vasco Dias: I’m not sure who I’m more worried about, Rob or Ethan?
Terri Morasco: It’s going to be an absolute war when those two get in the same ring at the same time.
Vasco Dias: A war? It’s going to be a blood bath.
{ We head to commercial break. }
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SINGLES MATCH
With Dirk Manly on commentary
500 Word Limit
Abraxes vs James Gilmore
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{ The IWFN logo appears on the screen as “American Idiot” begins to play at the entire arena erupts into rapturous boos as Dirk Manly emerges from behind the curtain onto the stage. Dirk is quickly followed by a cameraman and a personal assistant. As Dirk makes his way over to commentary, his PA passes him a flask which he tosses back at them nonchalantly as he sneers at the nearby fans. Drik takes a seat next to Vasco Dias. }
Vasco Dias: For the following match we will be joined by the incredible, Dirk Manly!
Dirk Manly: Vasco, it is an absolute honor to be seated next to a man as legendary as you in the broadcast world.
Terri Morasco: Welcome, Dirk, it’s good to have you!
Dirk Manly: Terri.
Terri Morasco: So it’s going to be like that?
Vasco Dias: Don’t harangue the man, he’s our guest Terri!
Dirk Manly: I am most gracious, Vasco.
Vasco Dias: We’ve got a big one coming up next, two of the World Television title contender battling for some momentum going into Spring Knockout!
Terri Morasco: James Gilmore against Abraxes!
Dirk Manly: It is an absolute insult to the paying crowd I am not among the combatants in the World Television title match!
Terri Morasco: You were eliminated pretty early on in the Roulette, maybe you should have spent less time messing around and more time fighting?
Dirk Manly: Vasco, why is this woman spreading outlandish lies about me on the air? I was concudting investigative journalism and was ruthlessly assaulted!
Vasco Dias: I will talk to management about.
Dirk Manly: Good.
{ The lights in the arena flicker and die as if there were some kind of power outage. As the light sounds of an acoustic guitar play, the high pitched laughter of children fills the air. A red spotlight shines on the stage as heavy smoke rolls across the floor. As opening lyrics of Monster (Under my Bed) by Call me Karizma starts to sing Abraxes rises from the center of the stage, his eyes burning out from under his mask as he stares down at the ring.
The rhythm of the song changes from a twisted lullaby do a grinding rock song just as he rises to his full height. Abraxes glares around at the audience before he walks down the ramp, focused on the ring in front of him. He crawls into the ring, exaggerated movements of his hands and legs to appear more like a creepy spider then a man. He rolls to his feet, holding his arms into the air as the lullaby starts anew. }
Terri Morasco: Abraxes has to be an odds on favorite to become the first World Television Champion!
Dirk Manly: If you consider being a horror movie villain from the eighties a skill in professional wrestling then yes, but in the real world? Absolutely not. This man is a war criminal.
Vasco Dias: I’ve got to agree with Dirk here.
Terri Morasco: You would.
{ An instrumental with hook version of "Shell Shocked" by Juicy J, featuring Wiz Khalifa and Ty Dolla $ign, begins to play, and a video package begins to play stock footage of waves crashing, followed by bolts of cloud-to-cloud lightning. }
"Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked
Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked
Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked
Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked..."
{ As jets of water shoot out from all directions, we tsee James Gilmore stepping out onto the stage, posing along to the hip-hop tune, before high-fiving the crowd and walking down to the ring. }
"(All for one when we fight together)
Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked
(All for one when we ride together)
Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked
(All for one when we fight together)
Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked
(This family can bear any weather)
Knock, knock, you about to get shell shocked..."
{ Once inside the ring, the Islander alum points heavenward, taking in the moments as he waits for his opponent. }
Terri Morasco: So Dirk, I assume you’re rooting for James here tonight?
Dirk Manly: Why would I be rooting for the one eyed wonder who speaks only in cliches?
Terri Morasco: Because of your obvious beef with Abraxes?
Dirk Manly: This is why you are not supposed to assume, Terri. It makes an ass out of you.
Terri Morasco: And me.
Dirk Manly: That’s what I said.
Vasco Dias: Jesus, Terri, just call the match!
{ We’ve got Johnny Walker refereeing the match tonight and he calls for the bell! Abraxes storms out of his corner but James rolls out of the way as Abraxes crashes into the corner! }
Terri Morasco: Abraxes is looking to mow James down!
Dirk Manly: But he’s too big and slow and incompetent to do even that!
Vasco Dias: HAH!
{ Abraxes turns as James comes in with a running drop kick in the corner! James back rolls to his feet and runs across the ring, bouncing off the opposing turnbuckles and hits another running dropkick on Abraxes. James goes for it a third time but Abraxes swats James out of the sky like a bug! }
Vasco Dias: James went to the well one too many times!
Dirk Manly: And Abraxes went to the vat of Kool Aid one too many times if you ask my professional opinion.
Terri Morasco: We didn’t.
Dirk Manly: Was someone speaking to you?
Terri Morasco: Are you implying because I’m a woman I should speak when spoken to??
Dirk Manly: Uh… N… NO! Stop putting words into my mouth! I will not be entrapped! #CancelTerri
{ James gets to his feet but Abraxes comes off with the ropes with a big shoulder block! James tries to nip up but Abraxes is there with a running big boot. James rolls to the apron but Abraxes grabs him by the hair, pulls him up to his feet and chokeslams James onto the ring apron! }
Dirk Manly: You may not know this Vasco but as a professional wrestler it is important to remember the apron is the single hardest part of the ring.
Vasco Dias: That is fascinating.
Terri Morasco: We literally say that every week!
Vasco Dias: Terri, please stop trying to one up Dirk.
{ James rolls off the apron and Abraxes follows him out. Abraxes grabs for Gilmore but James grabs him by the shirt and pulls Abraxes down and shoulder first into the ring steps. James pulls himself up and climbs onto the apron. James walks down the side of the apron and turns. Abraxes stands. James runs down the side of the apron and dives into Abraxes sending both men crashing into the steps! }
Vasco Dias: James just took down the big man!
Dirk Manly: That was almost impressive.
Terri Morasco: I’d like to see you do better against Abraxes!
Dirk Manly: I’m sure you would but I don’t come for free.
{ James is slow to get to his feet. Johnny Walker is counting. James pulls Abraxes up and rolls him into the ring. James climbs to the top rope now as Abraxes stands up. James leaps off the top and hits the missile dropkick! James goes for a cover but Johnny only counts Two! }
Dirk Manly: Obviously a missile dropkick isn’t going to finish anyone.
Vasco Dias: Obviously.
Terri Morasco: This is unbearable.
Dirk Manly: For me too, Terri, we finally agree watching Abraxes is unbearable.
Terri Morasco: Not that!
{ James gets to his feet and runs to the ropes, Abraxes is up now, James comes running in for another spear but Abraxes grabs James with a powerslam and a cover for Two! Abraxes pulls James up to his feet and throws him into the corner with a two handed choke toss. Abraxes runs in with a splash in the corner and then rips James out with a huge urinagi! Abraxes covers James but it’s only a two count again! }
Terri Morasco: James got his shoulder up!
Dirk Manly: Are you narrating for the blind, we all saw that?
Vasco Dias: Yeah Terri!
Terri Morasco: I’m calling the match, that’s literally our job.
Dirk Manly: You should find a new one, maybe as a weather girl, you know maybe you could help out on our show?
{ Abraxes pulls James off the mat and lifts him up for Consign to Dream but James wiggles free. Abraxes turns as James comes in from the apron with the Power Wave! Abraxes goes down and James covers for two. James heads to the top rope now and comes off with a flying headbutt and a cover! Again it’s only two. James stands and waits for Abraxes. Gilmore comes in with Shellshocker!!! James covers Abraxes again but it’s still only two! }
Terri Morasco: James can’t keep Abraxes down!
Vasco Dias: The guy is kind of a monster.
Dirk Manly: From the Dark Universe universe… So a bad one.
{ James is up and readies himself for the Wipeout. Abraxes gets up and James comes in but Abraxes stops him with a shoulder block and a nasty headbutt that causes James to bleed from his nostrils. James is staggered and Abraxes grabs him for CONSIGN TO DREAM! James and down and Abraxes covers for the ONE! TWO! THREE!!! }
Dirk Manly: Good evening.
{ Abraxes rises up and Dirk bolts toward the ring. }
Terri Morasco: I should have known!
{ Dirk slides in but Abraxes knew he was coming and whips around so fast that Dirk literally slides on his feet and falls before quickly rolling back out of the ring. Abraxes welcomes him to come in but Dirk mouths “Maybe later” as he backs up. }
Terri Morasco: What a chicken shit.
Vasco Dias: Terri, please, I’m sure he was just going congratulate Abraxes.
Terri Morasco: Okay.
{ Dirk backs up the ring as Abraxes watches him. }
------------------------------------
SEGMENT
Nighthawk faces a new threat
------------------------------------
{ As Nighthawk finishes putting on a pair of blue-and-gold wave-pattern MMA gloves, slipping his black leather trenchcoat on, he turns his head and sees Haseem, the mono-named manager of Almir Sayed, wearing a military style respirator standing in his front door. Rolling his eyes until they are almost in his skull, the "Wrestling Genius" nonetheless sits down and finishes his final preparations. }
Haseem: "Well this is a distinct displeasure. I am Haseem, and I represent the man of a thousand ways to win, Almir Sayed. I am here with a challenge."
Nighthawk: "Let me get this right. Almir's not here. he's at home in California, and you decided to travel here and challenge me on his behalf? Are you suddenly an emissary? If Almir wants me, tell him to come and see me himself. I don't take challenges from emissaries."
{ And with that, Nighthawk walks off leaving an infuriated Haseem alone with his thoughts. }
------------------------------------
SINGLES MATCH
Fiona Mcfly Vs Brittany Williams
------------------------------------
{ “Jump by Kriss Kross” begins to blast across the speakers. As it does Brittany Williams begins to emerge from behind the curtain being accompanied by her mother Crystal. Brittany offers a wide grin as Crystal’s paparazzi following begin to snap photos of the two girls. Brittany grins taking in all the boos as she walks down the aisle wearing her tiara with a cape around her back. Her attire a glittering red and black mix. She slides into the ring moving her hands through her curly (nappy) hair. She takes off her tiara, and her cape. As she waits for the match to begin. }
Terri Morasco: Brittany Williams came within a millisecond of becoming the first-ever Imperial Diamond Champion!
Vasco Dias: Hopefully, she can build on the effort she put in throughout the entire series…
Terri Morasco: Her opposition tonight ain’t no slouch out there…
{ A video package begins playing to a rock-remix version of Rachel Platten's "Fight Song," showing a montage of Fiona McFly at various stages of her life including home movie footage of the famous 1994 go-kart race in the Texas Hill Country. We see photos of Fiona from her high school and college graduation ceremonies until we finally see an image of her standing next to the late Jack Gaither on their wedding day. The black-and-white photo fades down into a distorted image as the initial tune becomes slowed down, like a phonograph. Then... }
"ONE! TWO!!
ONE-TWO!!!
ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!!!!"
{ ...a blast of pyro goes off as the Halestorm song "Love Bites (So Do I) kicks into high gear. We see Fiona hopping onto the stage with a rugged smile on her face, looking around at the cheering crowd as she twirls a replica of her trusty bullwhip around and around. }
"Don't listen what your girlfriend says
She reads those magazines
That say you fail the test
You don't have what she needs
I'll slither like a viper
And get you by the neck
I know a thousand ways to help you forget about her
That chick can eat her heart out
Love bites, but so do I, so do I
Love bites, but so do I, so do I
Love bites..."
{ She strolls down the rampway, hugging and high-fiving folks along the way before handing the replica whip to a child as a souvenir. }
Terri Morasco: We do understand that Fiona will be Virginia Stepanov’s first Imperial Diamond title challenger!
Vasco Dias: That’s next week, Terri--OH!!!
{ Before Blue Shoes can even call for the bell, Fiona jumps a dancing Brittany from behind! }
[DING-DING-DING!!!]
{ Fiona starts clubbing Brittany with some hard lefts and rights that reel her into the corner! She sends her opponent crunching hard into the opposite set of buckles; Brittany favors her lower back as Fiona delivers with a trio of standing dropkicks, followed by a huge exploding suplex -- prompting Williams to roll out of the ring! }
Terri Morasco: Fiona ain’t wastin’ any time here!
Vasco Dias: She’s in Beast Mode!
Terri Morasco: That means somebody’s gonna be learnin’ REAL quick about being prepared to go to work!
{ Fiona follows Brittany to the outside, where the two women start trading punches as Blue Shoes begins a dual-count! The Northern Irishwoman puts a stop to that in a hurry by ramming Williams into the steel ringpost shoulder-first before dumping her back inside the ring. Brittany tries to fight back by throwing a wild haymaker, only for Fiona to turn her sideways, drag her back to the corner, and plant her to the mat with a running bulldog! }
Vasco Dias: Somebody stop this! Poor Brittany’s getting slaughtered out there!
Terri Morasco: It’s about to get a WHOLE lot worse! Look!!
{ Fiona places her right arm around Brittany’s neck, and before the latter can ever react to the surprise move...the former gator rolls to the right and uses her left arm -- with both hands clasped together -- to tighten up the pressure on Brittany’s neck! The bloodthirsty crowd roars in sickening approval for the new move! }
Terri Morasco: Good God, man! What the hell is THAT one called!?!
Vasco Dias: It’s called a D’arce choke, Terri -- a lethal MMA move!
{ Brittany has no choice but to submit to the hold, causing Blue Shoes to call for the bell! }
[DING-DING-DING!!!]
Alison Valance: Here is your winner, by submission...FIOOOOONAAAA MCFLYYYY!!!
{ Fiona lets go of the hold, celebrating her victory as “Love Bites (So Do I)” begins to play! }
Terri Morasco: What a dominating performance from Fiona!
Vasco Dias: If we see her do that D’arce choke against Virginia next week, we are gonna have a new Imperial Diamond Champion!
Terri Morasco: If I were Stepanov, that’s one move I’d like to avoid at all costs!
------------------------------------
SEGMENT
Warren Kane wants to be the first Tv Champion
------------------------------------
{The camera comes on to Warren standing in a gym, clearly after a work out.}
Warren Kane: Did I feel disappointed not to win the Roulette? Yeah, course I did.
{Warren takes a drink from a water bottle.}
Warren Kane: But getting a chance to be the first TV Champion? That’s got some prestige to it. I think that could be something I could feel proud about.
{Warren smiles.}
Warren Kane: Also admit I like the idea of keeping Caleb from getting it.
------------------------------------
SINGLES MATCH
Dawn Halliwell vs Nancy Paulson-Carlson
------------------------------------
Alison Valance: The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Terri Morasco: This will be an interesting match to see.
Vasco Dias: Someone is going to get maimed.
{As soon as the music starts she marches down the ramp and gets into the ring, marching back and forth like a wild woman until the bell rings.}
Alison Valance: First down to the ring is Nancy Pailson-Carlson
Terri Morasco: Nancy said some really awful things leading up to this match.
Vasco Dias: Dawn is a big girl, she can handle it.
{Lights dim as the opening riffs to Shoot to Thrill hit, and flashes of white light begin to pulse along with the music as it picks up pace. The stage fills with dry ice as Dawn steps out from backstage, smiling manically and rocking out to the music. She points to the crowd and tries to get them pumped up. When the chorus hits, she raises her fists in the air as she lets out a shout of excitement punctuated by a blast of simple white pyro around her. She holds that pose until the second iteration of "Shoot to Thrill" in the chorus, at which point she charges into the ring and slides in, spinning with the momentum to her feet as she urges the crowd to get to their feet and rock along with her. After a few moments she will settle into her corner.}
Alison Valance: Next down to the ring… Dawn Halliwell!
Terri Morasco: Dawn made pretty clear she doesn’t have time for Nancy’s negativity.
Vasco Dias: Dawn is going to choke her out.
{As soon as the bell rings Dawn hits Nancy with a German Suplex. Nancy hits the mat hard. Dawn kicks her then gets her into an armbar.}
Terri Morasco: Not looking good for Nancy here.
Vasco Dias: I’m enjoying watching her struggle.
{Nancy struggles to get out of it and hooks the bottom rope with her foot. Dawn lets her go, picks her up and hits her with a couple may thai knees.}
Terri Morasco: Dawn not letting up at all.
Vasco Dias: Nor should she.
{Dawn gets Nancy in the LIVING DEAD GIRL.}
Vasco Dias: Yessss.
{Nancy taps out.}
Alison Valance: Your winner… DAWN HALLIWELL!
{Dawn lets Nancy go and gets a fist bump from her half brother Warren Kane as her music plays. And the feed ends.}