Post by Eddie Black on Sept 27, 2013 0:02:21 GMT
Eddie Black.
The All American Outlaw.
Darling of the IWC.
Independent Hardcore Legend.
Those are some cut nicknames.
I never really gave two shits about ‘em. I didn’t come here to see the smiling faces of the dozens and dozens of fanboys who’ve been dying to see me step in the ring with the world’s elite.
I’m here for one damn reason.
Blood money.
See, this here is the only job in the whole wide world where I can cave in another man’s skull with a barbed wire wrapped, flaming steel chair in front of a few hundred people and GET PAID to do it!
HAH!
Fucking love America.
So sorry kiddies, I know you were expecting me to mellow out or some shit once I got to the big time but Eddie Black doesn’t do mellow, shit tastes terrible. What I do do is some pretty crazy shit for my own personal enjoyment and that ain’t ever going to change.
I know the more ego driven lot of ya would come out here and issue some kind of warning to the roster but I ain’t got no need for that. Ya’ll don’t know me? Fair enough, ya will soon enough.
I ain’t going to needlessly threaten ya, no point in that, most of ya’ll already stopped listening by now anyway. So what I am going to do is this, watch my first match here, just watch it. Don’t analyze or look for weaknesses, just watch it as a fan of the sport and enjoy the kind of sickness I bring to professional wrestling. Because there ain’t nothing professional about what I do and I sure as hell don’t give a damn about wrestling.
I’m here for blood money, remember?
To live the damn American dream and make other people bleed for my own personal enjoyment. Hell, the country was founded on a goddamn ocean of other people’s blood, why stop the blood letting now I say?
So Eye Dubba Ef, just watch and try not to enjoy it too much.
The All American Outlaw.
Darling of the IWC.
Independent Hardcore Legend.
Those are some cut nicknames.
I never really gave two shits about ‘em. I didn’t come here to see the smiling faces of the dozens and dozens of fanboys who’ve been dying to see me step in the ring with the world’s elite.
I’m here for one damn reason.
Blood money.
See, this here is the only job in the whole wide world where I can cave in another man’s skull with a barbed wire wrapped, flaming steel chair in front of a few hundred people and GET PAID to do it!
HAH!
Fucking love America.
So sorry kiddies, I know you were expecting me to mellow out or some shit once I got to the big time but Eddie Black doesn’t do mellow, shit tastes terrible. What I do do is some pretty crazy shit for my own personal enjoyment and that ain’t ever going to change.
I know the more ego driven lot of ya would come out here and issue some kind of warning to the roster but I ain’t got no need for that. Ya’ll don’t know me? Fair enough, ya will soon enough.
I ain’t going to needlessly threaten ya, no point in that, most of ya’ll already stopped listening by now anyway. So what I am going to do is this, watch my first match here, just watch it. Don’t analyze or look for weaknesses, just watch it as a fan of the sport and enjoy the kind of sickness I bring to professional wrestling. Because there ain’t nothing professional about what I do and I sure as hell don’t give a damn about wrestling.
I’m here for blood money, remember?
To live the damn American dream and make other people bleed for my own personal enjoyment. Hell, the country was founded on a goddamn ocean of other people’s blood, why stop the blood letting now I say?
So Eye Dubba Ef, just watch and try not to enjoy it too much.
May 1st, 2000
A couple of kids in their late teens are beating the hell out of each other in a backyard. The heavier set one with the shaved head and the beginnings of a great beard is currently busted wide open across his forehead, the other kid, a little short, thinner, is smiling through a few gaps in his teeth.
Gap Tooth: Come on, bring it!
The bearded kid makes a dash for him and they haphazardly tie up but gap tooth goes for a rear waist lock, something that bearded boy isn’t prepared to block and ends up taking a German suplex right onto the grass. They both get to their feet pretty quickly and bearded boy just hauls off with a mighty clothes line and lays that gap tooth out!
Bearded boy: YEAH!
Off to the side you can hear some clapping as the handi cam that’s filming all this turns to see a small group of teenagers watching. The bearded boy shrugs them off and cracks his neck as gap tooth gets up. Bearded boy runs at him with a boot but gappy gets under it and kicks him right below the belt!
“OOOOOOOOH!”
The bearded kid drops and gappy scoops up a trash can from off the ground. He runs right at beardy but beardy turns around and just right hooks the trash can into gappy’s face. Gapy drops the trash can and bearded boy grabs him around the waist and drops him with a spike pile driver right on top of the trash can!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
The handi cam frantically shakes as the bearded boy rolls over the gap toothed wonder and covers him. There isn’t a real ref so the beard just makes the count.
Bearded boy: ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!! AND YOUR WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW BACKYARD CHAMPION!!!! EDDIE BLACK!!!!!!!!
The handi cam is suddenly placed down as the hands that held it begin to clap wildly. A girl runs out from behind it and wraps her arms around Eddie who is still bleeding quite profusely from his open wound.
“Ya did great babe!”
Eddie: Thanks Rach.
They share a disturbingly intimate kiss as the blood that rushes down his face gets all over hers and runs down onto her partially exposed breasts. The gap tooted wonder starts to get up and taps Eddie on the shoulder, looking for a hand shake. Eddie looks him over before looking to his woman, Rachel.
Eddie: Take out the trash, will ya babe?
Rachel: Anything for you, Eddie.
Rachel turns back to the wonder and lays him out with a right cross, only now do we notice the fist full of rings she’s wearing. The couple head back toward the handi cam as all the other teenagers gather around the gap toothed wonder. She sccops up the cam and looks into the lens, smiling.
Rachel: One day, when ya famous, some idiot is going to pay a lot of money for these matches.
Eddie: Famous? Yeah right.
The two laugh as the handi cam is closed and the scene ends…
A couple of kids in their late teens are beating the hell out of each other in a backyard. The heavier set one with the shaved head and the beginnings of a great beard is currently busted wide open across his forehead, the other kid, a little short, thinner, is smiling through a few gaps in his teeth.
Gap Tooth: Come on, bring it!
The bearded kid makes a dash for him and they haphazardly tie up but gap tooth goes for a rear waist lock, something that bearded boy isn’t prepared to block and ends up taking a German suplex right onto the grass. They both get to their feet pretty quickly and bearded boy just hauls off with a mighty clothes line and lays that gap tooth out!
Bearded boy: YEAH!
Off to the side you can hear some clapping as the handi cam that’s filming all this turns to see a small group of teenagers watching. The bearded boy shrugs them off and cracks his neck as gap tooth gets up. Bearded boy runs at him with a boot but gappy gets under it and kicks him right below the belt!
“OOOOOOOOH!”
The bearded kid drops and gappy scoops up a trash can from off the ground. He runs right at beardy but beardy turns around and just right hooks the trash can into gappy’s face. Gapy drops the trash can and bearded boy grabs him around the waist and drops him with a spike pile driver right on top of the trash can!
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
The handi cam frantically shakes as the bearded boy rolls over the gap toothed wonder and covers him. There isn’t a real ref so the beard just makes the count.
Bearded boy: ONE!!! TWO!!! THREE!!!! AND YOUR WINNER BY PINFALL AND NEW BACKYARD CHAMPION!!!! EDDIE BLACK!!!!!!!!
The handi cam is suddenly placed down as the hands that held it begin to clap wildly. A girl runs out from behind it and wraps her arms around Eddie who is still bleeding quite profusely from his open wound.
“Ya did great babe!”
Eddie: Thanks Rach.
They share a disturbingly intimate kiss as the blood that rushes down his face gets all over hers and runs down onto her partially exposed breasts. The gap tooted wonder starts to get up and taps Eddie on the shoulder, looking for a hand shake. Eddie looks him over before looking to his woman, Rachel.
Eddie: Take out the trash, will ya babe?
Rachel: Anything for you, Eddie.
Rachel turns back to the wonder and lays him out with a right cross, only now do we notice the fist full of rings she’s wearing. The couple head back toward the handi cam as all the other teenagers gather around the gap toothed wonder. She sccops up the cam and looks into the lens, smiling.
Rachel: One day, when ya famous, some idiot is going to pay a lot of money for these matches.
Eddie: Famous? Yeah right.
The two laugh as the handi cam is closed and the scene ends…