Post by Abigail on Jan 27, 2021 9:42:09 GMT
Abigail swiped the keycard to enter her hotel room after Metamorphosis. The duffel bag slung over her right shoulder, still contained the IWF Women’s World Championship, but somehow it felt even heavier after her indecisive contest with her toughest opponent yet, Virginia Stepanov.
Abigail felt burdened, weighed down and unhappy with the end result. It was not the way she had pictured the contest going down at all. She’d been mentally prepared to fight to a clean finish, to win or lose and to definitively put Virginia behind her. But apparently she was not good enough to get the job done.
Now there was still doubt in her mind, a thick cloud of smoke gathering in her head. Anxiety choking logic and reason out of her mind, and leaving only more questions about how good she really was. Maybe she’d pushed herself too hard in training...or not hard enough. Either way, just as she was proving that she could go toe to toe, match Virginia strike for strike, her body gave out on her.
Her blood was still pumping, her heart was still beating, but her flesh and bones were weak. Too weak not to succumb to absolute exhaustion right in the moment she couldn’t afford to give in most.
Abigail closed the hotel room door behind her, lightly head-butted the door three times and took a deep breath. As she exhaled slowly against the door, she felt...him...in the room with her. Watching her, judging her. She closed her eyes tight, she couldn’t face Spike Kane right now.
”I know what you’re going to say,” Abigail whispered to herself.
”Not good enough, Freya,” Spike’s words came through loud and clear, the loudest and clearest the dead bastard had ever been inside her head. “Not fucking good enough!”
Abigail mouthed the words as Spike yelled them. She then whipped herself around quickly, back against the door. She opened her eyes and saw Spike loom over her, larger than she remembered.
”Shouldn’t have gone to the top rope, we Kanes aren’t naturally high flyers, that was your first mistake. Your second was not exploiting the most obvious target. Bones never heal the same way, you could have ended this match much sooner and much more decisively if you’d snapped her fucking ankle. Taught her a fucking lesson for all the shit she’s been talking about your reign as World Champion. You show her too much mercy when she deserves none, and look where it’s gotten you. You’ve given her even more excuses now.”
”Virginia’s words mean nothin’ ta me. They’re just hot air. I wanted ta prove that I was more than that, better than that,” Abigail said. “I wanted ta prove I was better than you, more than just a typical Kane.”
”Liar. You wanted to show off, you wanted to impress...Her. You wanted to show Her that there was always another way. That She didn’t have to hurt anybody like Rowan does. And for what? What did you really expect from all this? That Eternity would watch your match, be inspired and reconsider her position in The Dark Triad? You can’t save her, Freya. Nobody can, not from herself, so let her burn. You’re still Women’s World Champion, and that means you’ve still got far more important things to worry about, like protecting our legacy.”
“Fuck YOUR legacy. It is not worth my fuckin’ soul. Nothin’ is worth that. Nothin’ is more important than savin’ a wayward soul, Spike...Eternity is lost an’ alone, an’ she needs my help. I’m the only one ‘round here who gives a damn enough even ta try. I will not give up on her, I will not abandon her...not for retainin’ all the fuckin’ titles in the world.”
” And that’s the fucking problem, isn’t it? Okay, ask yourself this, whilst you’re on your little salvation crusade for Her soul...do you really think she’d do the same for you? Do you really think she gives a damn about you or your soul?”
”I know what you’re tryna do, Spike.”
”So do I. I’m trying to protect you, Freya. I’m trying to make sure my baby sister doesn’t get hurt anymore than she already has been. Haven’t you been through enough shit? Isn’t it just as important to look out for yourself as it is to look out for others?”
Abigail closed her eyes, took a deep breath, a single rogue tear rolls down her cheek as the whirlwind of conflicting emotions inside her threatened to undo everything she believed about herself, her place in life and the direction of her entire career. When she opened her eyes again, Spike was gone and she was still World Champion but she was also still so utterly alone. Still so desperately lonely.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
She’d gone through a metamorphosis, yet still failed to emerge as a butterfly.
Because she was still not good enough to be who she needed to be in this life.
Whoever the fuck that was...
Abigail felt burdened, weighed down and unhappy with the end result. It was not the way she had pictured the contest going down at all. She’d been mentally prepared to fight to a clean finish, to win or lose and to definitively put Virginia behind her. But apparently she was not good enough to get the job done.
Now there was still doubt in her mind, a thick cloud of smoke gathering in her head. Anxiety choking logic and reason out of her mind, and leaving only more questions about how good she really was. Maybe she’d pushed herself too hard in training...or not hard enough. Either way, just as she was proving that she could go toe to toe, match Virginia strike for strike, her body gave out on her.
Her blood was still pumping, her heart was still beating, but her flesh and bones were weak. Too weak not to succumb to absolute exhaustion right in the moment she couldn’t afford to give in most.
Abigail closed the hotel room door behind her, lightly head-butted the door three times and took a deep breath. As she exhaled slowly against the door, she felt...him...in the room with her. Watching her, judging her. She closed her eyes tight, she couldn’t face Spike Kane right now.
”I know what you’re going to say,” Abigail whispered to herself.
”Not good enough, Freya,” Spike’s words came through loud and clear, the loudest and clearest the dead bastard had ever been inside her head. “Not fucking good enough!”
Abigail mouthed the words as Spike yelled them. She then whipped herself around quickly, back against the door. She opened her eyes and saw Spike loom over her, larger than she remembered.
”Shouldn’t have gone to the top rope, we Kanes aren’t naturally high flyers, that was your first mistake. Your second was not exploiting the most obvious target. Bones never heal the same way, you could have ended this match much sooner and much more decisively if you’d snapped her fucking ankle. Taught her a fucking lesson for all the shit she’s been talking about your reign as World Champion. You show her too much mercy when she deserves none, and look where it’s gotten you. You’ve given her even more excuses now.”
”Virginia’s words mean nothin’ ta me. They’re just hot air. I wanted ta prove that I was more than that, better than that,” Abigail said. “I wanted ta prove I was better than you, more than just a typical Kane.”
”Liar. You wanted to show off, you wanted to impress...Her. You wanted to show Her that there was always another way. That She didn’t have to hurt anybody like Rowan does. And for what? What did you really expect from all this? That Eternity would watch your match, be inspired and reconsider her position in The Dark Triad? You can’t save her, Freya. Nobody can, not from herself, so let her burn. You’re still Women’s World Champion, and that means you’ve still got far more important things to worry about, like protecting our legacy.”
“Fuck YOUR legacy. It is not worth my fuckin’ soul. Nothin’ is worth that. Nothin’ is more important than savin’ a wayward soul, Spike...Eternity is lost an’ alone, an’ she needs my help. I’m the only one ‘round here who gives a damn enough even ta try. I will not give up on her, I will not abandon her...not for retainin’ all the fuckin’ titles in the world.”
” And that’s the fucking problem, isn’t it? Okay, ask yourself this, whilst you’re on your little salvation crusade for Her soul...do you really think she’d do the same for you? Do you really think she gives a damn about you or your soul?”
”I know what you’re tryna do, Spike.”
”So do I. I’m trying to protect you, Freya. I’m trying to make sure my baby sister doesn’t get hurt anymore than she already has been. Haven’t you been through enough shit? Isn’t it just as important to look out for yourself as it is to look out for others?”
Abigail closed her eyes, took a deep breath, a single rogue tear rolls down her cheek as the whirlwind of conflicting emotions inside her threatened to undo everything she believed about herself, her place in life and the direction of her entire career. When she opened her eyes again, Spike was gone and she was still World Champion but she was also still so utterly alone. Still so desperately lonely.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
She’d gone through a metamorphosis, yet still failed to emerge as a butterfly.
Because she was still not good enough to be who she needed to be in this life.
Whoever the fuck that was...
Well howdy there pardner.