Post by Abigail on Apr 19, 2021 23:26:29 GMT
To be a wrestler was to embrace a certain nomadic way of life. Always moving, never settling in one place for too long. It was a unique lifestyle, certainly not for everyone but one Abigail had always managed to settle back into relatively quickly, no matter how long she had been away from it.
Several weeks into this international tour, the first major tour since her return, and though she had anticipated some apprehension and homesickness, much to her surprise it had yet to manifest. Perhaps, a lifetime moving between foster homes and psychiatric institutions had prepared her for this life much better than she ever realised, or perhaps it was the company she’d chosen to keep on this tour in particular.
Nobody else Abigail knew embraced the life of a perpetual gypsy quiet like Eternity. She wandered through the hills around Belfast as if she had known them her whole life, it was a remarkably intimate familiarity that should have unnerved Abigail, but she held onto the absolute trust she’d placed in her guide through the world she was born into but had never come to know.
Eternity kneeled onto the grassy heath, taking in not only the breathtaking view of the bustling city in the distance, but also to absorb the mid Spring sunshine. Abigail knelt down next to Eternity on the right.
“Welcome home,” Eternity said. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Gotta admit, there’s a certain romance ta it I never anticipated,” Abigail smiled, “At least from here. Spike always described it in such bloody an’ violent terms, I was almost expecting a degenerate hellscape.”
“I’d never bring you to the home he knew,” Eternity shook her head firmly. “Michael grew up here but he never allowed himself to take a step back and see the bigger picture. He never saw the beauty in anything. Not like I know you do, you see the beauty in everything.”
“I do,” Abigail smiled, tucking hair behind her ear as she held Eternity’s gaze. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“For bein’ here with me. For doin’ this. I know it ain’t easy for ya ta be out an’ about like this. It means a lot that you’re tryin’. Ya shouldn’t lock yourself away from the world all the time. Ya have just as much right ta be out here, ta experience the simple things in life the rest of us take for granted as anybody else. Ya don’t have ta live in the shadows, E.”
“But it’s safer, and it makes everyone feel safer,” Eternity said. “Safer from another devil child like Rowan.”
Abigail puts a hand on Eternity’s in the grass. “Oh darlin’, listen ta me, you’re NOTHING like her, okay? Do ya really think I’d be here with you now if I thought ya were anythin’ like that bitch?”
“I don’t know,” Eternity said softly, looking down at Abigail’s hand on top of her own, “I’ve hurt people too...just like her. So they keep telling me, never letting me forget.”
“No,” Abigail said firmly. She reached out and curled a single forefinger under Eternity’s chin, gently lifting her head until their eyes met once more. “You’ve made mistakes, we all have. Because we are human. Ya learned from them in a way Rowan never has, an’ doesn’t want ta. She enjoys hurtin’ people, ya don’t. It brings ya pain, sorrow an’ regret. Emotions that are unknown ta Rowan. Ya try ta help, Rowan tries ta destroy.”
“Are we really that different?”
“You’re a world of difference ta me,” Abigail smiled softly. “I don’t know what ya an’ Jess are doin’ in the Triad, but if there’s one thing I want ya ta hold onta the next time ya feel like they’re your only friends in this world, it’s knowin’ they’re not. Not so long as I am here.”
“I could never hurt you.”
“I believe you.”
Abigail takes a deep breath as she came to terms with being on the grounds that had such significance to wrestling fans of the late nineties, the Kane family home in Belfast. The Graceland of the God of Xtreme, Spike had told her all about this place and how the most hardcore of his fans considered it almost a sacred pilgrimage to visit the quaint Belfast home where Spike, Brad and Freya had been brought up, way back before any of them understood how truly fucked up their lives had always been.
There was little comfort in the fact that Abigail remembered almost none of it, and this place offered so little that she held onto that small mercy for what it was.
“Are you sure?” Eternity whispered.
Abigail looked down and took Eternity’s hand in her own. “No, but if I don’t deal with this whilst we are here, I never will. I’ve been haunted by the ghost of who I am supposed ta be, long enough. One way or another, it ends here. I need my life back, whatever it takes.” She took a deep breath and squeezed Eternity’s cold hand tightly, before she rang the doorbell.
A few moments passed, some shuffling behind the door, somebody was home. Shame, Abigail briefly hoped that nobody would be so she could reconsider this fool’s errand, but Eternity and fate itself had brought her this far for a reason. It was time to draw on some of that remarkable strength of will and bury the untidy parts of herself once and for all.
And then, she’d never feel the need to come here again, and they could all move on with their damned lives.
A young brunette answered the door with a bright smile, and a soft Irish accent. “Freya, I presume? Thanks for coming.”
“Actually, it’s Abigail.”
“Oh right, ya go by your adopted name now, sorry.”
“Her real name,” Eternity interjected softly. “Please remember it.”
Abigail smiled at Eternity, kissing her lightly on the cheek, touched by the sentiment and respect Eternity demonstrated.
“Right, right, sorry. Well, I’m Amy Kane. Christian couldn’t be here.” Amy stepped aside to let them in to the small property. An obvious mausoleum, a tourist trap more than a house that anybody would want to live in. “Can’t say I blame him, I mean what do ya say to a half-sister ya never knew even existed?”
“Yeah well, it ain’t like I asked for cousin Freya ta take her identity an’ live out a whole other life for her,” Abigail said coldly. “Christian never knew me, only the person he thought was me. That sorta thing runs in this family, don’t it? Christopher spent a number of years with multiple aliases, didn’t he?”
“Christian never knew that side of his father.”
“Oh I’m sure that’s what he told ya,” Abigail said. “A lot easier ta forgive all kinds of shit, if ya can plead ignorance, I guess.”
“Yeah, well, I have no reason ta doubt the man I love. I don’t know the details exactly. I only know Christian loved his father in a way Spike an’ I’m guessin’ ya never did. But I assume ya wanna start ta rebuild that bridge, that is why you’re here, right? Reconnect with the family you never knew. It’s noble, and I’m sure Christian will come around eventually. But this is a positive start for the healin’ to begin.”
Amy closed the door behind them. Abigail said nothing, she owed nothing to the wife of her half-blood Christian, and more than that she didn’t know exactly what she was here for yet. It obviously wasn’t a family reunion since Christian couldn’t even be bothered to be here.
A coward. Like father, like son, Abigail thought.
Christopher Kane, bastard that he was, had used Mary’s death as a licence to charm his slimy way into some other poor deluded woman’s bed who bought his crap and fathered a son six years younger than Freya, Christian. In that sense, both Spike and Brad were more their father’s sons than Spike ever felt comfortable admitting. Fathering children to delude themselves and the women they bedded into believing their was more to their relationship than sex.
Having kids was second nature for the Kane men, it was raising them that was the mystery. Still, it seemed that maybe Christian was different, as far as Abigail knew he and Amy didn’t have any kids.
Probably for the best, Christopher’s legacy had done enough damage as far as Abigail was concerned and didn’t deserve to have any more added to it.
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need, it is your home too,” Amy said, leading them both to the living space. “Both of you.”
“Oh, that’s very kind of you, but unnecessary,” Abigail said, “We couldn’t possibly impose.”
“Nonsense, it’s no imposition, you are family. Besides Christian and I, we don’t live here, we just look after the place in accordance with Michael’s wishes. It was him who inherited this place, not us. Michael always suspected that it was Christopher’s attempt to make up for things.”
“Ya mean like the lifetime of emotional, mental an’ physical abuse?” Abigail said, “Yeah, not sure that’s how any of this works.”
“Like I said, I don’t know the details,” Amy said. “Michael was a very private man when it came to family. You know that, you worked with him for a time, right? Can I get you a drink?”
“No, thank you,” Abigail said, sitting down, opposite Amy.
Eternity shook her head politely and went over to admire the ornate old fireplace, and the assault rifle that hung above it. Christopher’s, no doubt, the man had been a domestic terrorist in his life with the IRA. Just the kind of man you’d expect to put a gun in pride of place, central to his home. And it was his home, because he was the man of the house.
Spike didn’t share many memories of their birth father with Abigail, mainly because he couldn’t. Trauma and years of concussions and head injuries due to wrestling his signature hardcore style had left a significantly detrimental impact on his memory, even though he rarely acknowledged it. But the one thing Spike was never allowed to forget about his father was that he was the man of the house, and apparently he never had.
“So, I’m guessing the reason ya guys don’t live here is the private burial ground around the back of this place,” Abigail said.
“Partly yeah, I guess it’s kinda sweet that Christopher’s buried out there next to Mary, but it’s also kind of unnerving, you know? Christian thinks I’m too superstitious, but also he considers it a slap in the face to his mother. I get that, you know? It can’t be easy to hear that your father’s last wish is to be laid ta rest next ta the love of his life on the site of the home they built together, and that person not be your mother.”
“Yeah, well, I think it’s disgustin’” He put her in the ground, went off and had a love child with his mistress, and then in a fit of guilt decides that no actually, I want to be buried next ta my wife when I die. Fuck outta here with that bullshit.”
“Is that what Michael told you?” Amy asked. “I don’t think that’s the whole story. But yeah, Chris did suggest that maybe we’d be better off just selling it, but who’d want a place with such a macabre personal touch?”
Eternity then skipped over to Abigail, leant over and whispered something in her ear. Abigail nodded, solemnly. Eternity excused herself, walking out of the room. The old lights flicker briefly, unnoticed by Amy as Eternity left.
“Is everything okay?” Amy asked.
“Yeah, yeah. She just needs some air. Not used ta bein’ indoors that one, total free spirit, if ya get what I mean,” Abigail said.
“Yeah, I kinda had a feelin’ she was. Ya don’t dye your hair a luminous pink if you’re not. I wish I could be that brave,” Amy laughed. “So how long you two been seein’ each other?”
“Oh we’re not. We’re just friends.”
“Oh sorry, I just assumed because of the pride pin,” Amy gestured to the lesbian pride flag pin on Abigail’s black leather jacket. “Didn’t mean to offend.”
“None taken,” Abigail said, taking a moment to adjust the spider lily in her hair. “So you were saying, you don’t think it’s the whole story?”
“Yeah, I don’t know how much you know about Christopher’s past, but fact is he got himself into...debt...with the wrong people. The kind of debt that is always collected in the end, and though it was never proven officially, I think Christian’s mother paid the price.”
“Ya think the IRA murdered her to send him a message?” Abigail said.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s the kind of thing they do, isn’t it? She died under very suspicious circumstances and if ya ask me the police dropped the investigation a little too quickly. Ruling it an accident. I think Christopher blamed himself for her death, right up until his own.”
“Doesn’t sound like the man I know, I mean...he felt no guilt when his wife, Mary, died.”
“I think that was easier for him to accept because of the...you know, mental problems your mother had, so he felt less directly responsible.”
“Yeah, well, maybe if he’d been a bit more directly responsible for her mental care, she’d not have killed herself,” Abigail said bitterly, clenching her jaw tight and trying to keep the sudden torrent of emotions bubbling up inside her firmly in check. None of Christopher’s transgressions were Amy’s fault, Abigail reminded herself.
“Hey, I’m not saying what he did was right. Could he have handled what your mother was going through better? Absolutely, but it is what it is. Ya can’t change the past, only learn from it and try not to make the same mistakes.”
“That was some good eatin,” Abigail smiled.
“Thank you. My husband often jokes that my cookin’ is the only reason he married me,” Amy laughed.
“Well, I’ve heard of worse reasons people get married,” Abigail smiled.
The jovial atmosphere was interrupted as Eternity entered the kitchen from outside, a big smile on her face as she put her plate in the sink.
“It’s a beautiful house, Amy,” Eternity grinned.
“Thank you,” Amy smiled.
“Name your price, how much do you want for it?”
“You’re not serious,” Amy said.
“E, no. Don’t do this, please,” Abigail said.
“Why not? It’s perfect for...it’s a great honour to own a place with such a rich history. A monument of where you come from Abby, we both know he should have left it to you. You’re his daughter, he owes you something, why not this house?”
“No,” Abigail shook her head firmly, “I ain’t doin’ this with you right now. This is not what we came here for.” Abigail got up from the table and marched over to Eternity taking her by the hand and leading her outside again. She didn’t want this discussion in public.
“Ow, you’re hurting me, what’s wrong Abby? Why are we here?” Eternity said.
Abigail loosened her grip on Eternity slightly, took a deep breath to calm herself down. To try and rationalise with Eternity without giving too much away, without showing her weakness or vulnerability. She needed to be strong for her.
“I don’t fuckin’ know honestly, but it ain’t ta buy this fuckin’ place, alright?” Abigail whispered.
“Why not? I can afford it.”
“It ain’t about money.”
“No, it’s about the memories, the monument. Something to remember your dad by. To keep him in your heart always.”
“Yeah, well, what if I don’t fucking wanna, okay? Ya ever think of that whilst you’re bein’ selfish. Some things are bigger than death okay? Not every Goddamn body who dies deserves to be fucking remembered.”
“But he’s your daddy. Surely you loved him?”
“Is that really all I am to you? A fuckin’ Kane? Christ, E...I thought you were different, I thought you’d understand. But no, you’re just like everybody else. Well, I ain’t playin’ this game with ya anymore. Ya wanna buy the house? Go nuts, I’m outta here!”
Abigail turns to leave, but Eternity clasps Abigail’s wrist in a death grip of her own, preventing her from leaving.
“No,you can’t leave. If you leave, I’ll be all alone again, I don’t want to be all alone again. Please stay, Abby.”
“Okay, on one condition, we’re not buying this house,” Abby said firmly.
“We’re not buying this house,” Eternity echoed, softly.
Abigail didn’t want to sleep in Freya’s old room, and she could not bring herself to sleep in Spike or Brad’s room either, so she opted for the couch downstairs, but not before helping Eternity to bed in the old Kane master bedroom, Eternity’s choice because it had the biggest, bounciest bed in the whole house.
Abigail diligently checked the drawers, closets and cupboards in the room to make sure there was nothing Eternity could hurt herself with, and she was glad she did because under the bed she found a dusty old tin. Inside which was a Colt 1911 handgun and some rounds of ammunition.
Eternity insisted on keeping the gun, saying she felt drawn to it. Something which terrified Abigail to the point where she checked it was unloaded and confiscated all of the ammunition she could find in the room before she relinquished the empty weapon to Eternity. As an extra precaution, she even removed the firing pin. She was taking no chances.
Her Pa had taught her a fair bit about guns, mostly for self defence, lessons she seldom had use for until now.
“Impressive,” Eternity’s eyes sparkled as she watched Abigail handle the weapon with ease.
“Thanks. Growin’ up with four brothers in Texas, Pa thought it was important ta know these things. Of course, Ma never approved, but I’d be lyin’ if I said knowin’ what I know ain’t save my life on a few occasions.”
“I’m glad it did, I’m glad you’re still here.”
Abigail smiled as she handed Eternity the now useless weapon back. Eternity immediately tucked it under a pillow as Abigail left. “I’ll be just downstairs if you need me, sleep tight.”
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Eternity said softly before Abigail closed the door and left Eternity where she was most comfortable, alone in the darkness.
Several weeks into this international tour, the first major tour since her return, and though she had anticipated some apprehension and homesickness, much to her surprise it had yet to manifest. Perhaps, a lifetime moving between foster homes and psychiatric institutions had prepared her for this life much better than she ever realised, or perhaps it was the company she’d chosen to keep on this tour in particular.
Nobody else Abigail knew embraced the life of a perpetual gypsy quiet like Eternity. She wandered through the hills around Belfast as if she had known them her whole life, it was a remarkably intimate familiarity that should have unnerved Abigail, but she held onto the absolute trust she’d placed in her guide through the world she was born into but had never come to know.
Eternity kneeled onto the grassy heath, taking in not only the breathtaking view of the bustling city in the distance, but also to absorb the mid Spring sunshine. Abigail knelt down next to Eternity on the right.
“Welcome home,” Eternity said. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Gotta admit, there’s a certain romance ta it I never anticipated,” Abigail smiled, “At least from here. Spike always described it in such bloody an’ violent terms, I was almost expecting a degenerate hellscape.”
“I’d never bring you to the home he knew,” Eternity shook her head firmly. “Michael grew up here but he never allowed himself to take a step back and see the bigger picture. He never saw the beauty in anything. Not like I know you do, you see the beauty in everything.”
“I do,” Abigail smiled, tucking hair behind her ear as she held Eternity’s gaze. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“For bein’ here with me. For doin’ this. I know it ain’t easy for ya ta be out an’ about like this. It means a lot that you’re tryin’. Ya shouldn’t lock yourself away from the world all the time. Ya have just as much right ta be out here, ta experience the simple things in life the rest of us take for granted as anybody else. Ya don’t have ta live in the shadows, E.”
“But it’s safer, and it makes everyone feel safer,” Eternity said. “Safer from another devil child like Rowan.”
Abigail puts a hand on Eternity’s in the grass. “Oh darlin’, listen ta me, you’re NOTHING like her, okay? Do ya really think I’d be here with you now if I thought ya were anythin’ like that bitch?”
“I don’t know,” Eternity said softly, looking down at Abigail’s hand on top of her own, “I’ve hurt people too...just like her. So they keep telling me, never letting me forget.”
“No,” Abigail said firmly. She reached out and curled a single forefinger under Eternity’s chin, gently lifting her head until their eyes met once more. “You’ve made mistakes, we all have. Because we are human. Ya learned from them in a way Rowan never has, an’ doesn’t want ta. She enjoys hurtin’ people, ya don’t. It brings ya pain, sorrow an’ regret. Emotions that are unknown ta Rowan. Ya try ta help, Rowan tries ta destroy.”
“Are we really that different?”
“You’re a world of difference ta me,” Abigail smiled softly. “I don’t know what ya an’ Jess are doin’ in the Triad, but if there’s one thing I want ya ta hold onta the next time ya feel like they’re your only friends in this world, it’s knowin’ they’re not. Not so long as I am here.”
“I could never hurt you.”
“I believe you.”
*****
Abigail takes a deep breath as she came to terms with being on the grounds that had such significance to wrestling fans of the late nineties, the Kane family home in Belfast. The Graceland of the God of Xtreme, Spike had told her all about this place and how the most hardcore of his fans considered it almost a sacred pilgrimage to visit the quaint Belfast home where Spike, Brad and Freya had been brought up, way back before any of them understood how truly fucked up their lives had always been.
There was little comfort in the fact that Abigail remembered almost none of it, and this place offered so little that she held onto that small mercy for what it was.
“Are you sure?” Eternity whispered.
Abigail looked down and took Eternity’s hand in her own. “No, but if I don’t deal with this whilst we are here, I never will. I’ve been haunted by the ghost of who I am supposed ta be, long enough. One way or another, it ends here. I need my life back, whatever it takes.” She took a deep breath and squeezed Eternity’s cold hand tightly, before she rang the doorbell.
A few moments passed, some shuffling behind the door, somebody was home. Shame, Abigail briefly hoped that nobody would be so she could reconsider this fool’s errand, but Eternity and fate itself had brought her this far for a reason. It was time to draw on some of that remarkable strength of will and bury the untidy parts of herself once and for all.
And then, she’d never feel the need to come here again, and they could all move on with their damned lives.
A young brunette answered the door with a bright smile, and a soft Irish accent. “Freya, I presume? Thanks for coming.”
“Actually, it’s Abigail.”
“Oh right, ya go by your adopted name now, sorry.”
“Her real name,” Eternity interjected softly. “Please remember it.”
Abigail smiled at Eternity, kissing her lightly on the cheek, touched by the sentiment and respect Eternity demonstrated.
“Right, right, sorry. Well, I’m Amy Kane. Christian couldn’t be here.” Amy stepped aside to let them in to the small property. An obvious mausoleum, a tourist trap more than a house that anybody would want to live in. “Can’t say I blame him, I mean what do ya say to a half-sister ya never knew even existed?”
“Yeah well, it ain’t like I asked for cousin Freya ta take her identity an’ live out a whole other life for her,” Abigail said coldly. “Christian never knew me, only the person he thought was me. That sorta thing runs in this family, don’t it? Christopher spent a number of years with multiple aliases, didn’t he?”
“Christian never knew that side of his father.”
“Oh I’m sure that’s what he told ya,” Abigail said. “A lot easier ta forgive all kinds of shit, if ya can plead ignorance, I guess.”
“Yeah, well, I have no reason ta doubt the man I love. I don’t know the details exactly. I only know Christian loved his father in a way Spike an’ I’m guessin’ ya never did. But I assume ya wanna start ta rebuild that bridge, that is why you’re here, right? Reconnect with the family you never knew. It’s noble, and I’m sure Christian will come around eventually. But this is a positive start for the healin’ to begin.”
Amy closed the door behind them. Abigail said nothing, she owed nothing to the wife of her half-blood Christian, and more than that she didn’t know exactly what she was here for yet. It obviously wasn’t a family reunion since Christian couldn’t even be bothered to be here.
A coward. Like father, like son, Abigail thought.
Christopher Kane, bastard that he was, had used Mary’s death as a licence to charm his slimy way into some other poor deluded woman’s bed who bought his crap and fathered a son six years younger than Freya, Christian. In that sense, both Spike and Brad were more their father’s sons than Spike ever felt comfortable admitting. Fathering children to delude themselves and the women they bedded into believing their was more to their relationship than sex.
Having kids was second nature for the Kane men, it was raising them that was the mystery. Still, it seemed that maybe Christian was different, as far as Abigail knew he and Amy didn’t have any kids.
Probably for the best, Christopher’s legacy had done enough damage as far as Abigail was concerned and didn’t deserve to have any more added to it.
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need, it is your home too,” Amy said, leading them both to the living space. “Both of you.”
“Oh, that’s very kind of you, but unnecessary,” Abigail said, “We couldn’t possibly impose.”
“Nonsense, it’s no imposition, you are family. Besides Christian and I, we don’t live here, we just look after the place in accordance with Michael’s wishes. It was him who inherited this place, not us. Michael always suspected that it was Christopher’s attempt to make up for things.”
“Ya mean like the lifetime of emotional, mental an’ physical abuse?” Abigail said, “Yeah, not sure that’s how any of this works.”
“Like I said, I don’t know the details,” Amy said. “Michael was a very private man when it came to family. You know that, you worked with him for a time, right? Can I get you a drink?”
“No, thank you,” Abigail said, sitting down, opposite Amy.
Eternity shook her head politely and went over to admire the ornate old fireplace, and the assault rifle that hung above it. Christopher’s, no doubt, the man had been a domestic terrorist in his life with the IRA. Just the kind of man you’d expect to put a gun in pride of place, central to his home. And it was his home, because he was the man of the house.
Spike didn’t share many memories of their birth father with Abigail, mainly because he couldn’t. Trauma and years of concussions and head injuries due to wrestling his signature hardcore style had left a significantly detrimental impact on his memory, even though he rarely acknowledged it. But the one thing Spike was never allowed to forget about his father was that he was the man of the house, and apparently he never had.
“So, I’m guessing the reason ya guys don’t live here is the private burial ground around the back of this place,” Abigail said.
“Partly yeah, I guess it’s kinda sweet that Christopher’s buried out there next to Mary, but it’s also kind of unnerving, you know? Christian thinks I’m too superstitious, but also he considers it a slap in the face to his mother. I get that, you know? It can’t be easy to hear that your father’s last wish is to be laid ta rest next ta the love of his life on the site of the home they built together, and that person not be your mother.”
“Yeah, well, I think it’s disgustin’” He put her in the ground, went off and had a love child with his mistress, and then in a fit of guilt decides that no actually, I want to be buried next ta my wife when I die. Fuck outta here with that bullshit.”
“Is that what Michael told you?” Amy asked. “I don’t think that’s the whole story. But yeah, Chris did suggest that maybe we’d be better off just selling it, but who’d want a place with such a macabre personal touch?”
Eternity then skipped over to Abigail, leant over and whispered something in her ear. Abigail nodded, solemnly. Eternity excused herself, walking out of the room. The old lights flicker briefly, unnoticed by Amy as Eternity left.
“Is everything okay?” Amy asked.
“Yeah, yeah. She just needs some air. Not used ta bein’ indoors that one, total free spirit, if ya get what I mean,” Abigail said.
“Yeah, I kinda had a feelin’ she was. Ya don’t dye your hair a luminous pink if you’re not. I wish I could be that brave,” Amy laughed. “So how long you two been seein’ each other?”
“Oh we’re not. We’re just friends.”
“Oh sorry, I just assumed because of the pride pin,” Amy gestured to the lesbian pride flag pin on Abigail’s black leather jacket. “Didn’t mean to offend.”
“None taken,” Abigail said, taking a moment to adjust the spider lily in her hair. “So you were saying, you don’t think it’s the whole story?”
“Yeah, I don’t know how much you know about Christopher’s past, but fact is he got himself into...debt...with the wrong people. The kind of debt that is always collected in the end, and though it was never proven officially, I think Christian’s mother paid the price.”
“Ya think the IRA murdered her to send him a message?” Abigail said.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s the kind of thing they do, isn’t it? She died under very suspicious circumstances and if ya ask me the police dropped the investigation a little too quickly. Ruling it an accident. I think Christopher blamed himself for her death, right up until his own.”
“Doesn’t sound like the man I know, I mean...he felt no guilt when his wife, Mary, died.”
“I think that was easier for him to accept because of the...you know, mental problems your mother had, so he felt less directly responsible.”
“Yeah, well, maybe if he’d been a bit more directly responsible for her mental care, she’d not have killed herself,” Abigail said bitterly, clenching her jaw tight and trying to keep the sudden torrent of emotions bubbling up inside her firmly in check. None of Christopher’s transgressions were Amy’s fault, Abigail reminded herself.
“Hey, I’m not saying what he did was right. Could he have handled what your mother was going through better? Absolutely, but it is what it is. Ya can’t change the past, only learn from it and try not to make the same mistakes.”
*****
An awkward dinner followed, one Abigail regretted, not because the meal or the host was unsatisfactory but because she’d chosen to eat inside with Amy whilst Eternity had taken her plate outside to eat on the grass of the garden, under the stars. Still for the sake of being polite, Abigail polished off her plate with a smile.“That was some good eatin,” Abigail smiled.
“Thank you. My husband often jokes that my cookin’ is the only reason he married me,” Amy laughed.
“Well, I’ve heard of worse reasons people get married,” Abigail smiled.
The jovial atmosphere was interrupted as Eternity entered the kitchen from outside, a big smile on her face as she put her plate in the sink.
“It’s a beautiful house, Amy,” Eternity grinned.
“Thank you,” Amy smiled.
“Name your price, how much do you want for it?”
“You’re not serious,” Amy said.
“E, no. Don’t do this, please,” Abigail said.
“Why not? It’s perfect for...it’s a great honour to own a place with such a rich history. A monument of where you come from Abby, we both know he should have left it to you. You’re his daughter, he owes you something, why not this house?”
“No,” Abigail shook her head firmly, “I ain’t doin’ this with you right now. This is not what we came here for.” Abigail got up from the table and marched over to Eternity taking her by the hand and leading her outside again. She didn’t want this discussion in public.
“Ow, you’re hurting me, what’s wrong Abby? Why are we here?” Eternity said.
Abigail loosened her grip on Eternity slightly, took a deep breath to calm herself down. To try and rationalise with Eternity without giving too much away, without showing her weakness or vulnerability. She needed to be strong for her.
“I don’t fuckin’ know honestly, but it ain’t ta buy this fuckin’ place, alright?” Abigail whispered.
“Why not? I can afford it.”
“It ain’t about money.”
“No, it’s about the memories, the monument. Something to remember your dad by. To keep him in your heart always.”
“Yeah, well, what if I don’t fucking wanna, okay? Ya ever think of that whilst you’re bein’ selfish. Some things are bigger than death okay? Not every Goddamn body who dies deserves to be fucking remembered.”
“But he’s your daddy. Surely you loved him?”
“Is that really all I am to you? A fuckin’ Kane? Christ, E...I thought you were different, I thought you’d understand. But no, you’re just like everybody else. Well, I ain’t playin’ this game with ya anymore. Ya wanna buy the house? Go nuts, I’m outta here!”
Abigail turns to leave, but Eternity clasps Abigail’s wrist in a death grip of her own, preventing her from leaving.
“No,you can’t leave. If you leave, I’ll be all alone again, I don’t want to be all alone again. Please stay, Abby.”
“Okay, on one condition, we’re not buying this house,” Abby said firmly.
“We’re not buying this house,” Eternity echoed, softly.
*****
Dispute settled, at least for now, Amy had left them for the night, alone together. Said she’d be back in a couple of days with Christian hopefully, since they still had so much to discuss as a family on the verge of making amends.Abigail didn’t want to sleep in Freya’s old room, and she could not bring herself to sleep in Spike or Brad’s room either, so she opted for the couch downstairs, but not before helping Eternity to bed in the old Kane master bedroom, Eternity’s choice because it had the biggest, bounciest bed in the whole house.
Abigail diligently checked the drawers, closets and cupboards in the room to make sure there was nothing Eternity could hurt herself with, and she was glad she did because under the bed she found a dusty old tin. Inside which was a Colt 1911 handgun and some rounds of ammunition.
Eternity insisted on keeping the gun, saying she felt drawn to it. Something which terrified Abigail to the point where she checked it was unloaded and confiscated all of the ammunition she could find in the room before she relinquished the empty weapon to Eternity. As an extra precaution, she even removed the firing pin. She was taking no chances.
Her Pa had taught her a fair bit about guns, mostly for self defence, lessons she seldom had use for until now.
“Impressive,” Eternity’s eyes sparkled as she watched Abigail handle the weapon with ease.
“Thanks. Growin’ up with four brothers in Texas, Pa thought it was important ta know these things. Of course, Ma never approved, but I’d be lyin’ if I said knowin’ what I know ain’t save my life on a few occasions.”
“I’m glad it did, I’m glad you’re still here.”
Abigail smiled as she handed Eternity the now useless weapon back. Eternity immediately tucked it under a pillow as Abigail left. “I’ll be just downstairs if you need me, sleep tight.”
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” Eternity said softly before Abigail closed the door and left Eternity where she was most comfortable, alone in the darkness.
Well howdy there pardner.