Post by Eternity on Sept 26, 2021 14:56:51 GMT
Abigail: Daisy…meet Eternity. Eternity…meet Daisy. The friend I told ya ‘bout.
I greet Abby’s friend with the greatest forgotten respect, a small curtsy, before returning to one knee for the excited puppies. They jumped around me, tails wagging.
Charmed. Thanks for looking out for Abby. She’s told me so much.
Daisy: I’ve heard so much about ya, too, but even our dear friend Abby neglected ta mention how much animals seem ta like ya. You’ve certainly brought them ta life.
Abigail: Yeah, she does that. I haven’t quite figured out how yet.
Abigail beamed her breathtaking smile at me.
Oh, it’s no secret really. I love animals, more than most people. They’re wonderfully non judgmental, in a way humans can never be.
Daisy: I hear that.
Abigail: I’ve always believed that they’re wonderful moral barometers ‘cause they can see a person’s true soul. If they take ta ya, it means ya must be special. If they don’t, well then ya must be a jerk.
Lucky me then.
Abigail giggled, Daisy watched her with some interest before pulling out her phone, checking it quickly.
Daisy: Uh, Abs? Chuck needs my help, will ya two be alright here?
Abigail: I don’t know, what’d ya think, E? Think we can manage?
Oh, I’m sure we can.
Daisy: Great, if ya need anythin’, just shoot me a text, Abs.
Abigail: I will. Thanks.
Daisy whispers something to Abby, briefly hugging her. Then she moved beyond us both and out of the room.
Daisy: Look after each other, you two.
Daisy looked over her shoulder and winked at me before she was gone, shutting the door behind her, leaving us alone together in the small cream coloured room.
Alone, at last.
I removed my hat and veil, setting it on the floor, as Abigail skipped over to me and the dogs. I shook my luminous pink hair free as Abigail fell to a knee in front of me and pet one of the terriers again.
Abigail: Thanks for comin’. It means a lot an’ I really appreciate it.
Anything for you, my love.
Abigail smiled again. It took my breath away. Again.
Abigail: So, listen. I’ve been thinkin’, about a lot of things actually. About us, our relationship. I know ya don’t open up ta people often an’ all.
Best way. Less chance of being hurt or misunderstood. Life’s toughest lesson learned over an’ over again. A vicious never endin’ circle. As our lives have always been.
Abigail: Right. I get that. I do. Believe me. I know the last time ya tried, it scared Warren an’ all he wanted ta do was leave in the end.
And I let him go. I set him free. I’m not a monster. I’m just drawn that way.
Abigail: I know hun, I know. I know ya helped him. Ya took away some of his most painful memories.
I was only trying to help. Him and Dawn. They need each other. Everyone needs somebody.
Abigail: Yes, they do. That’s why I need ya. I need your help. Do you think ya could help me? Like ya helped Warren? There are some things about my past I’d rather forget. Some memories that are too painful. Some experiences therapy brought up that I’m afraid will always get in the way of what I want out of this life. Does that make sense?
It does. But I can’t help you. Not like that. Never again. I’ll do anything for love, but I can’t, I won’t do that. Please don’t ask me to make the same mistakes all over again. I’m trying to be better.
Abigail: Why? Why won’t ya help me, help us both? I won’t leave if that’s what you’re worried about. I won’t forget ya I won’t leave you all alone again. I swear. All I want is ta be better. I want to go back to the way things were, when I didn’t have the nightmares an’ flashbacks quite as much. Therapy was supposed ta help but all it really did was shine light on some of the darkest memories I have. It was easier ta live when they were just vague shadows, now they have a face. I won’t tell anybody, if ya do this for me. Please. I just want ta feel whole again.
Abigail had tears in her eyes now, as she touched my hand on one of the dogs, squeezing it softly.
I wish I could. But I can’t. I know you won’t believe me but demons are a lot easier to exorcise than shadows or ghosts of our past. They’re a lot easier to live with though, it just takes time, care and patience. I believe you are stronger than you think you are Abby. I know it. They won’t rule you much longer, I promise.
Abigail: I wish I could believe ya. It’s just so hard. It’s why I needed this break from IWF. It was all gettin’ too much. Dr Blackbourne also suggested a complete disconnect an’ disassociation from social media, fearin’ it might be exasperatin’ some very wrong, very toxic beliefs about myself. I think she was right. I needed the reset. Only problem is I don’t think I want ta go back ta that locker room jock mentality anymore. I had enough of people’s snide judgments in high school. I don’t need it in my adult life. Most wrestlers are just overgrown bullies. Thankfully, Verona understood. I’m surprised he let ya come with me though, with how important you’ve always been as a cornerstone of the company.
After several years of dutiful service, he owed me a favour. Probably more than one, figured you were worth a cash in. Finally.
Abigail: Wait, ya asked ta come with me? Why? I never wanted ta take ya away from what you love, the career you’ve built. The legacy. I’m sorry. I feel responsible for knockin’ ya off course.
Don’t. You didn’t. All you did was help me rediscover a new one. It’s nice to be away for something other than failing a mental evaluation, for once in my life. And I can’t thank you enough. I might like honouring Spike’s memory in the ring, but I don’t want to be shackled to his ghost outside it. He gave his life to the only adulation he could ever rely on, the emotional investment of a million faceless shadows. That’s no way to live and it’s an even more tragic way to die. I don’t want to die as an exhibition, I want to die surrounded by loved ones. I just didn’t think I had any left.
A tear rolls down both our cheeks now. Mirrored dams burst. Abigail swallowed hard. Her gaze never left mine. She leant even closer and whispered.
Abigail: Oh but you do, hun. I promise. Stop lookin’ an’ start seein’. I’m right here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Neither am I. Not without you. If you don’t want to go back to wrestling, we won’t.
Abigail: Really? As much as I’d love that, I couldn’t ask ya ta do that. I won’t ask ya ta give up your career for me. I’m not worth that much.
That’s not for you to decide, love. There’s nothing to give up. I can make money anywhere. I have before. I’m resourceful. I can survive. I don’t need wrestling as much as it needs me. Verona always calls on me to bring something unique back to the business, something they apparently can’t replicate or replace very well. But if he had to, he’d find another more reliable prospect to make money from. He’s a smart businessman. I won’t be missed, given enough time. Everything fades, even everything I’ve come to represent in IWF. I made peace with that. I’m almost out of roads to pave, maybe it’s time to let others walk the well worn roads, whilst we find another. Together. A brand new adventure. It’ll be fun!
Abigail: Or we could just say fuck it, and really embrace all the shit they throw at us. Imagine the shit we’d get for runnin’ as a fully fledged tag team. Not somethin’ either of us have really done, an’ there’s less pressure an’ expectation as the women don’t have any championships, so we’d mostly be runnin’ for fun. What’d ya think? Not tryin’ ta undercut the Dark Triad or anythin’, but I think a new perspective could do us both some good.
The Dark Triad isn't really a tag team thing. I know Rowan doesn’t think of it with the same sense of loyalty that she imbued within The Pack, which is good, because I’d rather have no family at all than a highly dysfunctional one. One I know I can count on, the other I can’t.
Abigail: I feel that too, honestly.
Besides I only agreed to it to protect you from Rowan. I thought I had no other choice. I couldn’t let her hurt you again. But I don’t think we have to worry anymore, especially with Tara Fenix being around, vying for her attention still, I think. Let me think about it, I don’t want to rush either of us. For now, I think we’re both leaning towards never going back, and I’m not sure if it’s worth it myself.
Abigail: We are, but if we do decide ta go back together, I can handle myself against Rowan, an’ Tara too, if I need ta, I have before. But it’s sweet ya care so much ta try lookin’ out for me. Even if I don’t mean as much to you as Warren, apparently.
You’re right, you don’t. You never have.
Abigail looked down, tried to pull her hand back and withdraw at the admission, but I held on tighter. My life depended on it.
I needed her to understand. Please understand.
More than anything. Please.
You’ve always meant so much more. More than you realise. Warren taught me many things in our brief time together. He made me appreciate the difference between naturally letting things go and ripping them away by force. One wound bleeds so much more than the other. I bled Spike Kane out of him as much as I could, but it wasn’t the only thing I took from him that it wasn’t my place to take. I can’t, I won’t risk that with you, Abby. I hope to God you understand. I never want to see you bleed, certainly not from a wound I caused. Please understand, you’re asking too much. Some things are beyond my capacity to control. How much a person bleeds because of me for example, tell me you understand. Please.
Abigail kissed me on the cheek, whispered in my ear. Stopped trying to pull away. Did she understand? Please.
Abigail: I think I understand. I’m sorry. I misunderstood. I’ll try an’ get better at listenin’ ta what you’re tryna say. I shouldn’t have asked. It was unfair . Selfish. You’re right, I’m stronger than this, I’m still alive, I’m still breathin’ after all. I made it this far, right? I can cope with this…with you by my side.
Finally, something I can do! Always!
I kissed her cheek and we squeezed the last of the warmth out of each other’s hands.
Our bond, stronger now. Our wounds still ran deeper. Mutual pain, shared and halved.
Deeper than our flesh and blood, but there was something that ran even deeper as we looked into each other’s eyes. We saw it, even if we couldn’t say it yet. The time wasn’t right still, but each day the moment grew closer. The perfect moment that would change everything forever. I knew it. I felt it.
The look of love was in her eyes, and I’d not felt this alive or this thankful for anything else in my entire life. God had granted me another chance and I wouldn’t waste it. Not this time and never again.
Not now that I knew she still loved me too, even after all the time that had passed.
I guess it was true.
True love never died.
Thank God.
I greet Abby’s friend with the greatest forgotten respect, a small curtsy, before returning to one knee for the excited puppies. They jumped around me, tails wagging.
Charmed. Thanks for looking out for Abby. She’s told me so much.
Daisy: I’ve heard so much about ya, too, but even our dear friend Abby neglected ta mention how much animals seem ta like ya. You’ve certainly brought them ta life.
Abigail: Yeah, she does that. I haven’t quite figured out how yet.
Abigail beamed her breathtaking smile at me.
Oh, it’s no secret really. I love animals, more than most people. They’re wonderfully non judgmental, in a way humans can never be.
Daisy: I hear that.
Abigail: I’ve always believed that they’re wonderful moral barometers ‘cause they can see a person’s true soul. If they take ta ya, it means ya must be special. If they don’t, well then ya must be a jerk.
Lucky me then.
Abigail giggled, Daisy watched her with some interest before pulling out her phone, checking it quickly.
Daisy: Uh, Abs? Chuck needs my help, will ya two be alright here?
Abigail: I don’t know, what’d ya think, E? Think we can manage?
Oh, I’m sure we can.
Daisy: Great, if ya need anythin’, just shoot me a text, Abs.
Abigail: I will. Thanks.
Daisy whispers something to Abby, briefly hugging her. Then she moved beyond us both and out of the room.
Daisy: Look after each other, you two.
Daisy looked over her shoulder and winked at me before she was gone, shutting the door behind her, leaving us alone together in the small cream coloured room.
Alone, at last.
I removed my hat and veil, setting it on the floor, as Abigail skipped over to me and the dogs. I shook my luminous pink hair free as Abigail fell to a knee in front of me and pet one of the terriers again.
Abigail: Thanks for comin’. It means a lot an’ I really appreciate it.
Anything for you, my love.
Abigail smiled again. It took my breath away. Again.
Abigail: So, listen. I’ve been thinkin’, about a lot of things actually. About us, our relationship. I know ya don’t open up ta people often an’ all.
Best way. Less chance of being hurt or misunderstood. Life’s toughest lesson learned over an’ over again. A vicious never endin’ circle. As our lives have always been.
Abigail: Right. I get that. I do. Believe me. I know the last time ya tried, it scared Warren an’ all he wanted ta do was leave in the end.
And I let him go. I set him free. I’m not a monster. I’m just drawn that way.
Abigail: I know hun, I know. I know ya helped him. Ya took away some of his most painful memories.
I was only trying to help. Him and Dawn. They need each other. Everyone needs somebody.
Abigail: Yes, they do. That’s why I need ya. I need your help. Do you think ya could help me? Like ya helped Warren? There are some things about my past I’d rather forget. Some memories that are too painful. Some experiences therapy brought up that I’m afraid will always get in the way of what I want out of this life. Does that make sense?
It does. But I can’t help you. Not like that. Never again. I’ll do anything for love, but I can’t, I won’t do that. Please don’t ask me to make the same mistakes all over again. I’m trying to be better.
Abigail: Why? Why won’t ya help me, help us both? I won’t leave if that’s what you’re worried about. I won’t forget ya I won’t leave you all alone again. I swear. All I want is ta be better. I want to go back to the way things were, when I didn’t have the nightmares an’ flashbacks quite as much. Therapy was supposed ta help but all it really did was shine light on some of the darkest memories I have. It was easier ta live when they were just vague shadows, now they have a face. I won’t tell anybody, if ya do this for me. Please. I just want ta feel whole again.
Abigail had tears in her eyes now, as she touched my hand on one of the dogs, squeezing it softly.
I wish I could. But I can’t. I know you won’t believe me but demons are a lot easier to exorcise than shadows or ghosts of our past. They’re a lot easier to live with though, it just takes time, care and patience. I believe you are stronger than you think you are Abby. I know it. They won’t rule you much longer, I promise.
Abigail: I wish I could believe ya. It’s just so hard. It’s why I needed this break from IWF. It was all gettin’ too much. Dr Blackbourne also suggested a complete disconnect an’ disassociation from social media, fearin’ it might be exasperatin’ some very wrong, very toxic beliefs about myself. I think she was right. I needed the reset. Only problem is I don’t think I want ta go back ta that locker room jock mentality anymore. I had enough of people’s snide judgments in high school. I don’t need it in my adult life. Most wrestlers are just overgrown bullies. Thankfully, Verona understood. I’m surprised he let ya come with me though, with how important you’ve always been as a cornerstone of the company.
After several years of dutiful service, he owed me a favour. Probably more than one, figured you were worth a cash in. Finally.
Abigail: Wait, ya asked ta come with me? Why? I never wanted ta take ya away from what you love, the career you’ve built. The legacy. I’m sorry. I feel responsible for knockin’ ya off course.
Don’t. You didn’t. All you did was help me rediscover a new one. It’s nice to be away for something other than failing a mental evaluation, for once in my life. And I can’t thank you enough. I might like honouring Spike’s memory in the ring, but I don’t want to be shackled to his ghost outside it. He gave his life to the only adulation he could ever rely on, the emotional investment of a million faceless shadows. That’s no way to live and it’s an even more tragic way to die. I don’t want to die as an exhibition, I want to die surrounded by loved ones. I just didn’t think I had any left.
A tear rolls down both our cheeks now. Mirrored dams burst. Abigail swallowed hard. Her gaze never left mine. She leant even closer and whispered.
Abigail: Oh but you do, hun. I promise. Stop lookin’ an’ start seein’. I’m right here. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Neither am I. Not without you. If you don’t want to go back to wrestling, we won’t.
Abigail: Really? As much as I’d love that, I couldn’t ask ya ta do that. I won’t ask ya ta give up your career for me. I’m not worth that much.
That’s not for you to decide, love. There’s nothing to give up. I can make money anywhere. I have before. I’m resourceful. I can survive. I don’t need wrestling as much as it needs me. Verona always calls on me to bring something unique back to the business, something they apparently can’t replicate or replace very well. But if he had to, he’d find another more reliable prospect to make money from. He’s a smart businessman. I won’t be missed, given enough time. Everything fades, even everything I’ve come to represent in IWF. I made peace with that. I’m almost out of roads to pave, maybe it’s time to let others walk the well worn roads, whilst we find another. Together. A brand new adventure. It’ll be fun!
Abigail: Or we could just say fuck it, and really embrace all the shit they throw at us. Imagine the shit we’d get for runnin’ as a fully fledged tag team. Not somethin’ either of us have really done, an’ there’s less pressure an’ expectation as the women don’t have any championships, so we’d mostly be runnin’ for fun. What’d ya think? Not tryin’ ta undercut the Dark Triad or anythin’, but I think a new perspective could do us both some good.
The Dark Triad isn't really a tag team thing. I know Rowan doesn’t think of it with the same sense of loyalty that she imbued within The Pack, which is good, because I’d rather have no family at all than a highly dysfunctional one. One I know I can count on, the other I can’t.
Abigail: I feel that too, honestly.
Besides I only agreed to it to protect you from Rowan. I thought I had no other choice. I couldn’t let her hurt you again. But I don’t think we have to worry anymore, especially with Tara Fenix being around, vying for her attention still, I think. Let me think about it, I don’t want to rush either of us. For now, I think we’re both leaning towards never going back, and I’m not sure if it’s worth it myself.
Abigail: We are, but if we do decide ta go back together, I can handle myself against Rowan, an’ Tara too, if I need ta, I have before. But it’s sweet ya care so much ta try lookin’ out for me. Even if I don’t mean as much to you as Warren, apparently.
You’re right, you don’t. You never have.
Abigail looked down, tried to pull her hand back and withdraw at the admission, but I held on tighter. My life depended on it.
I needed her to understand. Please understand.
More than anything. Please.
You’ve always meant so much more. More than you realise. Warren taught me many things in our brief time together. He made me appreciate the difference between naturally letting things go and ripping them away by force. One wound bleeds so much more than the other. I bled Spike Kane out of him as much as I could, but it wasn’t the only thing I took from him that it wasn’t my place to take. I can’t, I won’t risk that with you, Abby. I hope to God you understand. I never want to see you bleed, certainly not from a wound I caused. Please understand, you’re asking too much. Some things are beyond my capacity to control. How much a person bleeds because of me for example, tell me you understand. Please.
Abigail kissed me on the cheek, whispered in my ear. Stopped trying to pull away. Did she understand? Please.
Abigail: I think I understand. I’m sorry. I misunderstood. I’ll try an’ get better at listenin’ ta what you’re tryna say. I shouldn’t have asked. It was unfair . Selfish. You’re right, I’m stronger than this, I’m still alive, I’m still breathin’ after all. I made it this far, right? I can cope with this…with you by my side.
Finally, something I can do! Always!
I kissed her cheek and we squeezed the last of the warmth out of each other’s hands.
Our bond, stronger now. Our wounds still ran deeper. Mutual pain, shared and halved.
Deeper than our flesh and blood, but there was something that ran even deeper as we looked into each other’s eyes. We saw it, even if we couldn’t say it yet. The time wasn’t right still, but each day the moment grew closer. The perfect moment that would change everything forever. I knew it. I felt it.
The look of love was in her eyes, and I’d not felt this alive or this thankful for anything else in my entire life. God had granted me another chance and I wouldn’t waste it. Not this time and never again.
Not now that I knew she still loved me too, even after all the time that had passed.
I guess it was true.
True love never died.
Thank God.