Post by Kathleen Conway on Oct 17, 2013 23:16:54 GMT
Kathleen Conway stood in the locker-room of a gym, and completed her simple black and white training attire, by slipping her slender hand into the right black leather finger-less glove. The simple, almost routine action took her back five years to the first time she ever had a match in a wrestling ring. Her first ever singles match was in New Championship Wrestling, made even more significant by the fact that it was only the second women's match in the company's history.
I don't remember it too well. It was in the early summer of 2008. It was barely a month after my injury at the hands of Spike Kane, so maybe that's why. I remember it was against Roxi, and I remember it was only the second time I had set foot inside a wrestling ring in an actual match. The first time was against Rob Diamond and Shelly Taylor before she was married to Alex. That match was a mixed tag team match with my husband by my side. This time it was technically a singles encounter, but Jake was never one to be governed by the technicalities of a match. He was out there, in my corner, just as Ricky Johnson was in Roxi's.
Every now and then I watch that match back, and it comes to me in flashes. The training I did, lacing my boots, slipping on the gloves just like now, preparing to fight, just like now. I remember hitting Roxi with the Kat Kall and watching as the darkened ruby roots of her hair splayed out on the canvas. I remember laughing even as I rolled her over for the pin, but the rest of it, well that's just a haze.
I cannot even recall where we were that night without having watched it back, and perhaps it is rather poetic that it is from watching that match back that my favorite moment from it is defined. Jake was on commentary that night and he said something to Willy Carter that has now stuck with me. It has become so ingrained in my memory that it now inspires me to push myself to be just that little bit faster in the ring, to hit my opponents that little bit harder and come back that lttle bit stronger...
Kathy silently mouths the words to herself, even as she recalls them, verbatim. The irony that she had such perfect recall from such a fractured memory was not lost on her. What made the memory even sweeter for her was that every time she reflected on it, all she could hear the words in were her husband's distinctly British accent and that always made her heart flutter and made her go a little weak at the knees.
Even now, five years later, they still didn't understand. They still mocked and ridiculed me for it, they mocked and ridiculed Jake for it too, but considerably less so, probably because unlike me, he was not shy about taking a steel rake and cracking some heads open until they either understood or lay bleeding on the canvas. It was more often the latter, which suited Jake and I just fine. I loved a man who wasn't afraid to take control of a situation and it thrilled me every time I watched him do it.
Jake Conway wasn't my first love, or even my second, but he was the second man in my life who made a point to assert himself when necessary. In that respect, he was just like the first man I had ever known to love just as unconditionally as Jake, albeit on an entirely different level, my father - Police Captain, Robert Jones. Only recently had I begun to show the world the true impact that wonderful man had on me growing up. The police baton I wield as a weapon out there is a beautiful representation of the strength and force of the two most influential and most important men in my life. My two great loves.
My father and my husband.
Two men who took it upon themselves to love me even when I was at my most unlovable. My peers see fit to laugh at my dedication and to call me weak, and once upon a time, it annoyed me. It frustrated me. It drove me mad, until I realised that it was all futile and all wasted energy trying to get my harshest critics with their acid-tipped tongues to understand something they'd never understand, and they'd never understand because they would never know commitment on the level I have come to know it. Jake Conway is a wonderfully committed husband and father, but our lives weren't always so idealic. There was a time when I thought he was just another drifter to wander in and out of my life with all the casual disregard of a fly-by-night lover...
Kathy's thoughts transitioned on the delicate patch work of her life's memories as she balled up her right fist and smacked black leather on the white leather palm on the inside of her left gloved hand. The sound jolted her to her first complete memory of the aftermath of her most intimate encounter with Jake "The Ace" Conway.
It was the morning of January 30th, 2006 as I lay in bed, naked and alone - or so I thought. The sheets were a mess, my hair was wild and fizzy and I could hardly remember any of the night before, even as my senses began to awaken to the cold winter morning. It was quite a shock to discover as I turned my head that the man my sister had brought home to meet the family was now in my bed. He sat up and smiled at me. resting his head on a propped up elbow as he lay on his side. I blinked at him and he smirked, he was the cat and I was the canary.
Kathy: Aren't you my sister's boyfriend?
Jake: I was last night. She brought me home to meet you folk, she said you were very hospitable people, I didn't realise quite how much until just now...
Kathy: Shit...we didn't....did we?
Jake: We did. Don't you remember?
Kathy: I don't remember much to be honest with you, John....
Jake: Jake...
Kathy: What?
Jake: My name. It's Jake. Jake Conway...
Kathy: Shit, sorry...listen Jake, you're either a very nice guy or you just got me very drunk last night and since I haven't decided which yet, I think you should get out of here...
Jake shrugged and swung his legs out of bed as he reached down to collect his discarded jeans from the bedroom floor. He chuckled to himself as I cursed myself.
Kathy: Shit, shit, shit...
Jake turned his head to look at me as he pulled his jeans up over the lower half of his legs.
Kathy: Oh my god! You must think I'm such a slut! I swear I don't usually do this sort of thing..and, hey wait, why am I explaining myself to a guy who gets his girlfriend's sister drunk and then takes advantage of her? This is all your fault, you pig!
Jake: That's not what you said last night.
Jake stood up and pulled his jeans the rest of the way before buckling his belt.
Kathy: Why do I get the feeling you've heard this all before?
Jake sighed.
Jake: More often than I'd like to admit.
Kathy: What kind of man are you to think any of this is okay? IT'S NOT, YOU KNOW! I want to be married to a nice guy one day, have a couple of kids, a nice big house...not this! Not any of this, I want commitment, love...
Jake rolled his eyes.
Jake: Okay, okay calm down, I don't mean to spoil your fantasy here babe, but nice guys don't really exist. Pass my shirt would you, I believe it landed on your side of the bed...
I peered over my side of the bed and sure enough there was a discarded short-sleeved light blue shirt, which I picked up and launched at him and I laughed as it smacked him in the face. Jake can't help but laugh too.
I smiled in spite of myself.
Kathy: Hey, don't you laugh at me, jerk!
Jake buttoned up his shirt with the practiced speed of a prolific womanizer, and then opened the door, winked at me and closed the door behind him, tucking his shirt into his jeans the last thing I heard as he left my room was him greeting my mother as she arrived on the other side of the door...
"Oh hello Mrs Jones."
I giggled to myself. It was all I could do. I should have felt anger, I should have felt some remorse for betraying my sister, all of that would come later, after it finally all sank in. For the moment and what it was, I remember feeling stupidly happy, there was no rhyme, reason or guilt to what I had done. Not yet. Not right away. It was done, and I had two choices for how I looked back on this moment. I could either cry about how stupid I had been, or I could laugh about how stupid I had been, and right then I felt like laughing.
My mom opened the door, and I pulled the sheet up and held it against my chest.
Kathy: Mom! Jeez! A little privacy!
Mom looked at me and the mess in my room and it didn't take long for her to use her authoritative Court Judge voice.
Mom: Kathleen! That was Tiffany's boyfriend! You should be ashamed! What am I going to tell her? It'll break her heart!
Kathy: Please Mom, don't tell her anything, I'll handle it, I promise. Just cover for me with Dad. Okay?
Sylvia: I swear, I was so happy to have the family all over for once even if our family Christmas was a bit late this year after what happened to your Uncle Gerry over the holidays...
Kathy: Please Mom, no more stories about how Uncle Gerry thought he was dying when all it turned out to be was appendicitis, okay?
Mom: It could have been worse...
Kathy: It could have been, but it wasn't. Please will you cover for me with Dad?
Mom shook her head, in defeat and muttered under her breath.
Mom: Lord, give me strength!
Mom looked at me dead in the eyes, her face was stern but not cold.
Mom: This is the last time, Kathleen, I swear. And you better sort it out with Tiffany, I'm not getting involved in that mess. I had enough trying to keep your father from hitting the roof when you went out with that Swanson kid and didn't come home till 3 AM...
Kathy: Mom, seriously...that was nine years ago! This is nothing like that!
Mom folded her arms across her chest.
Mom: Honey, he's a man, they're all like that...
Once upon a time, I believed that, not anymore, Jake Conway really was like no other man I had met before or since...
I don't know about you Ashley, but the more I sit here and think about our match this Sunday, the more I start to count down the days to what could potentially be a turning point in my whole career, a revolution almost, it really is quite amazing isn't it? And when its all said and done, it will be you, young Ashley Mastrangelo and nobody else on the entire Diamonds roster who will be able to say you stepped up when it really mattered and defended your Ruby Championship against the as yet uncrowned Queen of Diamonds...
Or at least tried to anyway.
Isn't that exciting? Doesn't it make you feel all giddy inside? At the very least Ashley, no matter what happens on Sunday, you will be able to hold your head up high, be proud and stand noble in your conviction as you tell the world that you went head to head with a veteran and a pioneer of professional women's wrestling, the Starlet Before Starlets, the Diamond Before Diamonds, Kathleen Conway...
Just close your eyes and imagine it Ashley. I have yet to win a singles title in my career, a lot of people will tell you that I simply don't have what it takes to be any sort of Champion because I'm far too busy with my lips wrapped around my husband's Ace of Spades, and it really is up to you if you want to believe them and take me lightly. Personally I hope you don't, I expect so much more from you, I expect a level of integrity and respect from you that I probably won't get from anybody else because they're all self-entitled little bitches who cannot, for one moment, stand to see anybody else's happiness. You're not like that, are you Ashley?
I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I hope I'm not wrong about you, but I've been disappointed before. Girls I've called friends in this business have all been quite happy to turn around and spit in my face and stick the knife in my back one way or another, so I hope you'll forgive me if I hold my tongue before calling you my friend, Ashley. But just because we aren't necessarily friends, it doesn't mean we have to be enemies either. This Sunday we are simply opponents, two women who just so happen to be stood across the ring from one another as competitive rivals and maybe that's enough.
Maybe that's all we need to be.
This match, it is the biggest one on the card Ashley, we are the equivalent for our Division of Spike Kane versus Rob Diamond. We are the main event for female wrestling at October Revolution, that Ruby Championship around your waist that you wear as your favourite fashion accessory, well it may as well be the Diamonds World Championship. Jessica Reed vs Random Overhyped Mystery Person Number 157 won't be able to follow us. See whilst the IWF Board of Directors amuse themselves by protecting their golden goose and having her fight an overused wrestling troupe, it is you and I Ashley, the Silver Standard, the Second Best, who really have a chance to steal the show here.
Think about it. With my track record in big time Championship matches being what it is, the smart money's all on you Ash. If you beat me like they all expect you to, it will automatically make your career and elevate you to the next level. It will put you on the same level as other mega stars of female wrestling. All of whom who have successfully managed to defend their titles against me at some point in their respective careers. Can you imagine Ashley Mastrangelo actually being mentioned in the same breath as Zelda and Kelly Knite?
A girl can dream, can't she?
Let's face it Ash, for some of us dreams are all we have to get us through the day. A dream house. A dream car. A dream job. A dream guy. A dream wedding. We all have them, and its sad to think that for every one of us who manages to realise our dreams, there are thousands more choking on the sour grapes and being angry at the world for never having realised theirs. I know it irritates my harshest critics to admit that I'm the kind of woman who actually goes out and seizes the day and her dreams. If I want something bad enough, I will get it.
Dream house? Check.
Dream wedding? Check.
Dream Guy? Double Check.
So the question you have to consider now Ashley is, just how badly do I want your Ruby Championship? Is it a dream of mine? Because if it is, you are and will be in trouble come Sunday. You will have your answer soon Ashley, for now I just want you to think about it. Think about the fact that this will be the second time we will meet one on one inside an IWF ring, and the same questions that were unanswered then, remain unanswered now. Eternity denied us both the answer to which one of us wanted it more that night, but now she is behind me, behind us. No more distractions. We will finally give the world the answer they didn't get the first time, this second time around.
Isn't it funny how things tend to work themselves out in life, Ashley? Some people will insist on looking down upon you and that Ruby Championship, chastising you for being "only second best", but not I, because I see the bigger picture. I always have. If holding that Championship truly makes you no better than second best, then let's really look at who you are second best to, shall we?
You, Ashley Mastrangelo, are second best to Jessica Reed. You are second best to a woman who has an unparalleled record in the Diamonds Division, and a woman who even the IWF Board of Directors think has no worthwhile challenges in that female locker-room. When you think of it like that, it really isn't such a bad place to be, is it Ashley? Hell no.
That's why I want your Ruby Championship.
That's why I want to be second best.
My husband spent most of his career being second best in NCW, he was the greatest and last ever National Champion in that company's history, and even in the final months of the company that meant that he was second best to the greatest NCW World Champion that company ever saw - Roberto Verona. There's no shame in that. Absolutely none. So many people have told Jake and myself that we'll never be quite as good as the best power couple in wrestling history, Adam and Kelly Knite, and if that's true and the best Jake and I ever manage to be before we hang up our boots together is second best to the Knites...
I'd be okay with that.
I've never gotten anything in my life right the first time around, but that's the wonderful thing about life Ashley. If you have enough patience, life will give you your second chances, all that matters then is what you choose to do with it. This is my second chance at putting some singles gold around my waist, something I've never had before, but as surely as there are second chances, there is also a first time for everything in life.
This is my second chance at my first time in IWF.
I intend to make the most of it.
Just like I always have with all my second chances.
I never thought I'd get a second chance to get it right with Jake Conway after I woke up cold and alone in my bed on February 1st. I had convinced him to stay an extra day, but no longer. He had his own life and I had mine. He was dedicated to the business of professional wrestling and his life on the road and not to me. I had no reason to keep him, I had no card to play, had I known then that the reason had already begun to form inside of me, I am confident that I would have at least made more of an effort to convince him to stay.
Instead we spent two years apart from each other, trying to move on with our lives and neither of us succeeding. I loved Steve Evans, but I was in love with Jake Conway. It made no sense, it was irrational, I had fallen way too hard way too fast and it was only later that I came to understand that that is how true love often is. It's stupid. It's irrational. It's illogical, but even more frustratingly than all of that....
It's undeniable...
I never thought I'd get a second chance with Jake Conway. But I did. Five years later, here I am still spending every day making the most of it. Even if I have to go through the rest of my life hated by my peers for it, I will never stop. I love him so dearly because he was the only man I have ever met who proved my mom, my sister and me wrong. He was the only man who came back to me even after he had taken what he wanted from me. He was the only man who came back to mend my heart after he had broken it.
After that I was his, and his alone.
Always and forever...
Jake Conway encouraged me to hit harder and hit faster with every blow I rained down on the pads he held in each hand and whilst his style was unorthodox, I could not argue with the effectiveness of his methods. His high pitched and shrill impression of my harshest critic in IWF to date, former Ruby Champion, Amber Richards irritated the hell out of me...
Jake: Ooooh look at me, I'm Amber Richards and I'm so much better than Kathy who will never be a great Ruby Champion like me because she's too busy choking on her husband's big ten inch cock...hmmmm!
Kathy stops, drops her hands and is unable to maintain her defenses any longer.
Kathy: Okay, okay stop!
Kathy couldn't hold it together any longer and bursts out laughing. This only seems to encourage Jake to keep it up.
Jake: Oooh look at that, Kathy can't even keep up with me because I'm Amber Richards and I always wanted to do this. Not like Kathy and Ashley, who the hell are they compared to me and Jessica Reed? Sure I flip flop from week to week depending on my mood but I'm all important now because I'm in league with the man who set my lover's face on fire because...well, so is he for some reason...Empire for life, bitch!
Kathy: Stop it, I'm crying over here!
The couple burst into laughter together. Tears are streaming down Kathy's face.
Jake: I think that just about covers every criticism we're ever going to get in this business, honey. The way I figure it, you may as well channel all that rage you feel every time you hear something stupid like that into something more productive.
Kathy nods as she gets her breath back.
Kathy: I'll say this much, it works a treat to get me all fired up...
Kathy steps closer to her husband as he drops the pads he was holding. Kathy puts a gloved palm flat against his bare chest. Seduced once again, as she often was, by the more playful side of his nature.
Kathy: But then that's not something you've ever had trouble with, is it?
The couple lock eyes, each probing the other for a moment, before inevitably they are drawn closer together, their eyes close as their lips meet and in their kiss, dreams as private and as sweet are shared, hidden from the rest of the world and known only to them.
For those were the kinds of secrets shared only between the most intimate of lovers.
I don't remember it too well. It was in the early summer of 2008. It was barely a month after my injury at the hands of Spike Kane, so maybe that's why. I remember it was against Roxi, and I remember it was only the second time I had set foot inside a wrestling ring in an actual match. The first time was against Rob Diamond and Shelly Taylor before she was married to Alex. That match was a mixed tag team match with my husband by my side. This time it was technically a singles encounter, but Jake was never one to be governed by the technicalities of a match. He was out there, in my corner, just as Ricky Johnson was in Roxi's.
Every now and then I watch that match back, and it comes to me in flashes. The training I did, lacing my boots, slipping on the gloves just like now, preparing to fight, just like now. I remember hitting Roxi with the Kat Kall and watching as the darkened ruby roots of her hair splayed out on the canvas. I remember laughing even as I rolled her over for the pin, but the rest of it, well that's just a haze.
I cannot even recall where we were that night without having watched it back, and perhaps it is rather poetic that it is from watching that match back that my favorite moment from it is defined. Jake was on commentary that night and he said something to Willy Carter that has now stuck with me. It has become so ingrained in my memory that it now inspires me to push myself to be just that little bit faster in the ring, to hit my opponents that little bit harder and come back that lttle bit stronger...
Kathy silently mouths the words to herself, even as she recalls them, verbatim. The irony that she had such perfect recall from such a fractured memory was not lost on her. What made the memory even sweeter for her was that every time she reflected on it, all she could hear the words in were her husband's distinctly British accent and that always made her heart flutter and made her go a little weak at the knees.
"I don't expect anyone to understand what Kat and I share, all I know is men would kill for it women just cry themselves to sleep wishing they had it from their husbands. Bottom line is Kathy gave me a beautiful little daughter and we love each other unconditionally, that's how I knew she was the one who I would spend my life with. She completes me."
Even now, five years later, they still didn't understand. They still mocked and ridiculed me for it, they mocked and ridiculed Jake for it too, but considerably less so, probably because unlike me, he was not shy about taking a steel rake and cracking some heads open until they either understood or lay bleeding on the canvas. It was more often the latter, which suited Jake and I just fine. I loved a man who wasn't afraid to take control of a situation and it thrilled me every time I watched him do it.
Jake Conway wasn't my first love, or even my second, but he was the second man in my life who made a point to assert himself when necessary. In that respect, he was just like the first man I had ever known to love just as unconditionally as Jake, albeit on an entirely different level, my father - Police Captain, Robert Jones. Only recently had I begun to show the world the true impact that wonderful man had on me growing up. The police baton I wield as a weapon out there is a beautiful representation of the strength and force of the two most influential and most important men in my life. My two great loves.
My father and my husband.
Two men who took it upon themselves to love me even when I was at my most unlovable. My peers see fit to laugh at my dedication and to call me weak, and once upon a time, it annoyed me. It frustrated me. It drove me mad, until I realised that it was all futile and all wasted energy trying to get my harshest critics with their acid-tipped tongues to understand something they'd never understand, and they'd never understand because they would never know commitment on the level I have come to know it. Jake Conway is a wonderfully committed husband and father, but our lives weren't always so idealic. There was a time when I thought he was just another drifter to wander in and out of my life with all the casual disregard of a fly-by-night lover...
Kathy's thoughts transitioned on the delicate patch work of her life's memories as she balled up her right fist and smacked black leather on the white leather palm on the inside of her left gloved hand. The sound jolted her to her first complete memory of the aftermath of her most intimate encounter with Jake "The Ace" Conway.
It was the morning of January 30th, 2006 as I lay in bed, naked and alone - or so I thought. The sheets were a mess, my hair was wild and fizzy and I could hardly remember any of the night before, even as my senses began to awaken to the cold winter morning. It was quite a shock to discover as I turned my head that the man my sister had brought home to meet the family was now in my bed. He sat up and smiled at me. resting his head on a propped up elbow as he lay on his side. I blinked at him and he smirked, he was the cat and I was the canary.
Kathy: Aren't you my sister's boyfriend?
Jake: I was last night. She brought me home to meet you folk, she said you were very hospitable people, I didn't realise quite how much until just now...
Kathy: Shit...we didn't....did we?
Jake: We did. Don't you remember?
Kathy: I don't remember much to be honest with you, John....
Jake: Jake...
Kathy: What?
Jake: My name. It's Jake. Jake Conway...
Kathy: Shit, sorry...listen Jake, you're either a very nice guy or you just got me very drunk last night and since I haven't decided which yet, I think you should get out of here...
Jake shrugged and swung his legs out of bed as he reached down to collect his discarded jeans from the bedroom floor. He chuckled to himself as I cursed myself.
Kathy: Shit, shit, shit...
Jake turned his head to look at me as he pulled his jeans up over the lower half of his legs.
Kathy: Oh my god! You must think I'm such a slut! I swear I don't usually do this sort of thing..and, hey wait, why am I explaining myself to a guy who gets his girlfriend's sister drunk and then takes advantage of her? This is all your fault, you pig!
Jake: That's not what you said last night.
Jake stood up and pulled his jeans the rest of the way before buckling his belt.
Kathy: Why do I get the feeling you've heard this all before?
Jake sighed.
Jake: More often than I'd like to admit.
Kathy: What kind of man are you to think any of this is okay? IT'S NOT, YOU KNOW! I want to be married to a nice guy one day, have a couple of kids, a nice big house...not this! Not any of this, I want commitment, love...
Jake rolled his eyes.
Jake: Okay, okay calm down, I don't mean to spoil your fantasy here babe, but nice guys don't really exist. Pass my shirt would you, I believe it landed on your side of the bed...
I peered over my side of the bed and sure enough there was a discarded short-sleeved light blue shirt, which I picked up and launched at him and I laughed as it smacked him in the face. Jake can't help but laugh too.
I smiled in spite of myself.
Kathy: Hey, don't you laugh at me, jerk!
Jake buttoned up his shirt with the practiced speed of a prolific womanizer, and then opened the door, winked at me and closed the door behind him, tucking his shirt into his jeans the last thing I heard as he left my room was him greeting my mother as she arrived on the other side of the door...
"Oh hello Mrs Jones."
I giggled to myself. It was all I could do. I should have felt anger, I should have felt some remorse for betraying my sister, all of that would come later, after it finally all sank in. For the moment and what it was, I remember feeling stupidly happy, there was no rhyme, reason or guilt to what I had done. Not yet. Not right away. It was done, and I had two choices for how I looked back on this moment. I could either cry about how stupid I had been, or I could laugh about how stupid I had been, and right then I felt like laughing.
My mom opened the door, and I pulled the sheet up and held it against my chest.
Kathy: Mom! Jeez! A little privacy!
Mom looked at me and the mess in my room and it didn't take long for her to use her authoritative Court Judge voice.
Mom: Kathleen! That was Tiffany's boyfriend! You should be ashamed! What am I going to tell her? It'll break her heart!
Kathy: Please Mom, don't tell her anything, I'll handle it, I promise. Just cover for me with Dad. Okay?
Sylvia: I swear, I was so happy to have the family all over for once even if our family Christmas was a bit late this year after what happened to your Uncle Gerry over the holidays...
Kathy: Please Mom, no more stories about how Uncle Gerry thought he was dying when all it turned out to be was appendicitis, okay?
Mom: It could have been worse...
Kathy: It could have been, but it wasn't. Please will you cover for me with Dad?
Mom shook her head, in defeat and muttered under her breath.
Mom: Lord, give me strength!
Mom looked at me dead in the eyes, her face was stern but not cold.
Mom: This is the last time, Kathleen, I swear. And you better sort it out with Tiffany, I'm not getting involved in that mess. I had enough trying to keep your father from hitting the roof when you went out with that Swanson kid and didn't come home till 3 AM...
Kathy: Mom, seriously...that was nine years ago! This is nothing like that!
Mom folded her arms across her chest.
Mom: Honey, he's a man, they're all like that...
Once upon a time, I believed that, not anymore, Jake Conway really was like no other man I had met before or since...
I don't know about you Ashley, but the more I sit here and think about our match this Sunday, the more I start to count down the days to what could potentially be a turning point in my whole career, a revolution almost, it really is quite amazing isn't it? And when its all said and done, it will be you, young Ashley Mastrangelo and nobody else on the entire Diamonds roster who will be able to say you stepped up when it really mattered and defended your Ruby Championship against the as yet uncrowned Queen of Diamonds...
Or at least tried to anyway.
Isn't that exciting? Doesn't it make you feel all giddy inside? At the very least Ashley, no matter what happens on Sunday, you will be able to hold your head up high, be proud and stand noble in your conviction as you tell the world that you went head to head with a veteran and a pioneer of professional women's wrestling, the Starlet Before Starlets, the Diamond Before Diamonds, Kathleen Conway...
Just close your eyes and imagine it Ashley. I have yet to win a singles title in my career, a lot of people will tell you that I simply don't have what it takes to be any sort of Champion because I'm far too busy with my lips wrapped around my husband's Ace of Spades, and it really is up to you if you want to believe them and take me lightly. Personally I hope you don't, I expect so much more from you, I expect a level of integrity and respect from you that I probably won't get from anybody else because they're all self-entitled little bitches who cannot, for one moment, stand to see anybody else's happiness. You're not like that, are you Ashley?
I'd like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I hope I'm not wrong about you, but I've been disappointed before. Girls I've called friends in this business have all been quite happy to turn around and spit in my face and stick the knife in my back one way or another, so I hope you'll forgive me if I hold my tongue before calling you my friend, Ashley. But just because we aren't necessarily friends, it doesn't mean we have to be enemies either. This Sunday we are simply opponents, two women who just so happen to be stood across the ring from one another as competitive rivals and maybe that's enough.
Maybe that's all we need to be.
This match, it is the biggest one on the card Ashley, we are the equivalent for our Division of Spike Kane versus Rob Diamond. We are the main event for female wrestling at October Revolution, that Ruby Championship around your waist that you wear as your favourite fashion accessory, well it may as well be the Diamonds World Championship. Jessica Reed vs Random Overhyped Mystery Person Number 157 won't be able to follow us. See whilst the IWF Board of Directors amuse themselves by protecting their golden goose and having her fight an overused wrestling troupe, it is you and I Ashley, the Silver Standard, the Second Best, who really have a chance to steal the show here.
Think about it. With my track record in big time Championship matches being what it is, the smart money's all on you Ash. If you beat me like they all expect you to, it will automatically make your career and elevate you to the next level. It will put you on the same level as other mega stars of female wrestling. All of whom who have successfully managed to defend their titles against me at some point in their respective careers. Can you imagine Ashley Mastrangelo actually being mentioned in the same breath as Zelda and Kelly Knite?
A girl can dream, can't she?
Let's face it Ash, for some of us dreams are all we have to get us through the day. A dream house. A dream car. A dream job. A dream guy. A dream wedding. We all have them, and its sad to think that for every one of us who manages to realise our dreams, there are thousands more choking on the sour grapes and being angry at the world for never having realised theirs. I know it irritates my harshest critics to admit that I'm the kind of woman who actually goes out and seizes the day and her dreams. If I want something bad enough, I will get it.
Dream house? Check.
Dream wedding? Check.
Dream Guy? Double Check.
So the question you have to consider now Ashley is, just how badly do I want your Ruby Championship? Is it a dream of mine? Because if it is, you are and will be in trouble come Sunday. You will have your answer soon Ashley, for now I just want you to think about it. Think about the fact that this will be the second time we will meet one on one inside an IWF ring, and the same questions that were unanswered then, remain unanswered now. Eternity denied us both the answer to which one of us wanted it more that night, but now she is behind me, behind us. No more distractions. We will finally give the world the answer they didn't get the first time, this second time around.
Isn't it funny how things tend to work themselves out in life, Ashley? Some people will insist on looking down upon you and that Ruby Championship, chastising you for being "only second best", but not I, because I see the bigger picture. I always have. If holding that Championship truly makes you no better than second best, then let's really look at who you are second best to, shall we?
You, Ashley Mastrangelo, are second best to Jessica Reed. You are second best to a woman who has an unparalleled record in the Diamonds Division, and a woman who even the IWF Board of Directors think has no worthwhile challenges in that female locker-room. When you think of it like that, it really isn't such a bad place to be, is it Ashley? Hell no.
That's why I want your Ruby Championship.
That's why I want to be second best.
My husband spent most of his career being second best in NCW, he was the greatest and last ever National Champion in that company's history, and even in the final months of the company that meant that he was second best to the greatest NCW World Champion that company ever saw - Roberto Verona. There's no shame in that. Absolutely none. So many people have told Jake and myself that we'll never be quite as good as the best power couple in wrestling history, Adam and Kelly Knite, and if that's true and the best Jake and I ever manage to be before we hang up our boots together is second best to the Knites...
I'd be okay with that.
I've never gotten anything in my life right the first time around, but that's the wonderful thing about life Ashley. If you have enough patience, life will give you your second chances, all that matters then is what you choose to do with it. This is my second chance at putting some singles gold around my waist, something I've never had before, but as surely as there are second chances, there is also a first time for everything in life.
This is my second chance at my first time in IWF.
I intend to make the most of it.
Just like I always have with all my second chances.
I never thought I'd get a second chance to get it right with Jake Conway after I woke up cold and alone in my bed on February 1st. I had convinced him to stay an extra day, but no longer. He had his own life and I had mine. He was dedicated to the business of professional wrestling and his life on the road and not to me. I had no reason to keep him, I had no card to play, had I known then that the reason had already begun to form inside of me, I am confident that I would have at least made more of an effort to convince him to stay.
Instead we spent two years apart from each other, trying to move on with our lives and neither of us succeeding. I loved Steve Evans, but I was in love with Jake Conway. It made no sense, it was irrational, I had fallen way too hard way too fast and it was only later that I came to understand that that is how true love often is. It's stupid. It's irrational. It's illogical, but even more frustratingly than all of that....
It's undeniable...
I never thought I'd get a second chance with Jake Conway. But I did. Five years later, here I am still spending every day making the most of it. Even if I have to go through the rest of my life hated by my peers for it, I will never stop. I love him so dearly because he was the only man I have ever met who proved my mom, my sister and me wrong. He was the only man who came back to me even after he had taken what he wanted from me. He was the only man who came back to mend my heart after he had broken it.
After that I was his, and his alone.
Always and forever...
Jake Conway encouraged me to hit harder and hit faster with every blow I rained down on the pads he held in each hand and whilst his style was unorthodox, I could not argue with the effectiveness of his methods. His high pitched and shrill impression of my harshest critic in IWF to date, former Ruby Champion, Amber Richards irritated the hell out of me...
Jake: Ooooh look at me, I'm Amber Richards and I'm so much better than Kathy who will never be a great Ruby Champion like me because she's too busy choking on her husband's big ten inch cock...hmmmm!
Kathy stops, drops her hands and is unable to maintain her defenses any longer.
Kathy: Okay, okay stop!
Kathy couldn't hold it together any longer and bursts out laughing. This only seems to encourage Jake to keep it up.
Jake: Oooh look at that, Kathy can't even keep up with me because I'm Amber Richards and I always wanted to do this. Not like Kathy and Ashley, who the hell are they compared to me and Jessica Reed? Sure I flip flop from week to week depending on my mood but I'm all important now because I'm in league with the man who set my lover's face on fire because...well, so is he for some reason...Empire for life, bitch!
Kathy: Stop it, I'm crying over here!
The couple burst into laughter together. Tears are streaming down Kathy's face.
Jake: I think that just about covers every criticism we're ever going to get in this business, honey. The way I figure it, you may as well channel all that rage you feel every time you hear something stupid like that into something more productive.
Kathy nods as she gets her breath back.
Kathy: I'll say this much, it works a treat to get me all fired up...
Kathy steps closer to her husband as he drops the pads he was holding. Kathy puts a gloved palm flat against his bare chest. Seduced once again, as she often was, by the more playful side of his nature.
Kathy: But then that's not something you've ever had trouble with, is it?
The couple lock eyes, each probing the other for a moment, before inevitably they are drawn closer together, their eyes close as their lips meet and in their kiss, dreams as private and as sweet are shared, hidden from the rest of the world and known only to them.
For those were the kinds of secrets shared only between the most intimate of lovers.
Well howdy there pardner.