Post by Dean Harper on Mar 17, 2022 3:52:03 GMT
The camera comes on to Dean sitting, in the same black room with the candlelight flickering.
“For a lot of people, it’s much easier when they have something to prove, someone to fight. But this company doesn’t thrive on that kind of chaos anymore. 3 women, hall of farmers, declared themselves the best of the best and nothing happened. No one really rose up to fight them.”
“Sure, they all got bored and took their ball and went home. But it is something of note. That no one cares enough anymore. It is interesting that this is the first year the company has opened the doors to outsiders to get a shot at the world title at our biggest show of the year.”
Dean leans back.
“On the one hand, it is nice to see fresh meat to play with. It is something to be said that there is a distinct disadvantage to the normal have-nots.”
“And you could be upset that I cam just brushing so many off but let’s be honest, how many of the other guys even tried to pump themselves up? It’s like they’ve already given up. Already assumed the check is going to bounce and it’s better to just sit back and zone out.”
“For fuck’s sake, would it kill you idiots to act as if you care?”
Dean huffs.
“Because right now it’s insulting.”
“And that’s kind of what this feels like for a lot of people. Couldn’t get to the main event any other way. This is a big time. The last hurrah. It’s like the lottery, you cash in your body and hope to above and below it gets you where you need to be.”
“And you’ve all decided that it isn’t enough. That it doesn’t matter if you enter at 20. You aren’t going to win.”
“It’s pathetic. Do you really think that things are just too out of your league to give even a solid fuck? Seriously?”
“You should just stay home then. Buy out your contracts and quit. You fucking disgrace. You can’t even pretend to care about a shot at the world title? You are willing to let some fucker who doesn’t even know the history of the company a chance so you never have to try?”
Dean gets to his feet and starts pacing.
“Have some fucking pride. FUCK.”
“You know what this reminds me of… Everyone talks about Icarus because he flew too high to the sun and his wings of wax melted and he drowned. But no one remembers that they were warned him not to fly too close to the ocean either. Because the mist of the water would have undone his wings too. Everyone thinks the myth is about not setting your sights too high, accepting your place, and keeping your head down. When the fucking myth is about setting realist goals.”
“Do you feel realistic goals with half-assing your way through this company? Leo? Jason? Danger? Alek? Do you feel like you are doing your goddamned best?”
“No. I can tell you for a fact you are not putting your whole ass into giving a fuck about your career.”
“But you know what? You know what? It’s fine. It’s fine… because when I see you in that ring come roulette time you won’t have to worry about pissing your life away. I’m going to fucking bury you. I’m going to break every FUCKING bone in your body and put you on the shelf permanently. Because I refuse to let pissants stand in my way when they half-ass their way through every day of their life even get a good showing in the match that could change the course of this company’s fucking legacy.”
Dean takes a deep breath.
“So make your peace boys. Because if I find you if I catch you. You’re dead. Promise.”
Damien sat at the kitchen table across from Dean. Dean loved his son more than anything else in his life. The way Damien smiled sometimes almost broke his heart, Maxine’s smile. But he tried not to project too much of his heartbreak of Maxine onto the kid’s head. Damien was weird, Dean knew that. Damien worshiped his grandfather, talked about putting bootheels to people’s throats, and giggled at violence.
It was like a mirror but Dean had kept most of those kinds of thoughts inside his own head. He was trying to be a better person, in a small way. He didn’t regret the things he’d done in his career but he did want life to be better for Damien.
Damien was a good kid, a sweet boy. A little deranged and sometimes Dean wondered if people were right. If he really was a poor example for Damien. If he should have let Maxine’s family or foster care take Damien. If he should have let someone normal and well adjusted. Someone who knew how to be a good person. Someone who could be a normal Dad, someone who wasn’t so fucked up in the head.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“You’re sad.”
“I am.”
Dean had hated his father for not being there to save him from the nightmare that had been his childhood. Would Damien hate him for not giving him a normal childhood? Had Dean fucked him up beyond all measure? Should he have wrapped him in a towel and left him on someone like Devlin or Jacobsen’s doorstep? Someone good?
Dean felt Damien’s arms around his arm. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too Damien.”
“Don’t be sad.”
Dean leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll try.”
“Want to go to the zoo?”
“Don’t you want to wait for Edward to come back?”
“Just me and you. Us.”
“You sure?”
Damien nodded eagerly. “Zoo!”
Dean smiled, “Alright. Grab your stuff. I’ll clean up the kitchen and write a note to pepaw, okay?”
“Zoo!” Damien rushed from the room.
Damien wasn’t perfect. He’d never be perfect. But Dean would love him anyway.
“For a lot of people, it’s much easier when they have something to prove, someone to fight. But this company doesn’t thrive on that kind of chaos anymore. 3 women, hall of farmers, declared themselves the best of the best and nothing happened. No one really rose up to fight them.”
“Sure, they all got bored and took their ball and went home. But it is something of note. That no one cares enough anymore. It is interesting that this is the first year the company has opened the doors to outsiders to get a shot at the world title at our biggest show of the year.”
Dean leans back.
“On the one hand, it is nice to see fresh meat to play with. It is something to be said that there is a distinct disadvantage to the normal have-nots.”
“And you could be upset that I cam just brushing so many off but let’s be honest, how many of the other guys even tried to pump themselves up? It’s like they’ve already given up. Already assumed the check is going to bounce and it’s better to just sit back and zone out.”
“For fuck’s sake, would it kill you idiots to act as if you care?”
Dean huffs.
“Because right now it’s insulting.”
“And that’s kind of what this feels like for a lot of people. Couldn’t get to the main event any other way. This is a big time. The last hurrah. It’s like the lottery, you cash in your body and hope to above and below it gets you where you need to be.”
“And you’ve all decided that it isn’t enough. That it doesn’t matter if you enter at 20. You aren’t going to win.”
“It’s pathetic. Do you really think that things are just too out of your league to give even a solid fuck? Seriously?”
“You should just stay home then. Buy out your contracts and quit. You fucking disgrace. You can’t even pretend to care about a shot at the world title? You are willing to let some fucker who doesn’t even know the history of the company a chance so you never have to try?”
Dean gets to his feet and starts pacing.
“Have some fucking pride. FUCK.”
“You know what this reminds me of… Everyone talks about Icarus because he flew too high to the sun and his wings of wax melted and he drowned. But no one remembers that they were warned him not to fly too close to the ocean either. Because the mist of the water would have undone his wings too. Everyone thinks the myth is about not setting your sights too high, accepting your place, and keeping your head down. When the fucking myth is about setting realist goals.”
“Do you feel realistic goals with half-assing your way through this company? Leo? Jason? Danger? Alek? Do you feel like you are doing your goddamned best?”
“No. I can tell you for a fact you are not putting your whole ass into giving a fuck about your career.”
“But you know what? You know what? It’s fine. It’s fine… because when I see you in that ring come roulette time you won’t have to worry about pissing your life away. I’m going to fucking bury you. I’m going to break every FUCKING bone in your body and put you on the shelf permanently. Because I refuse to let pissants stand in my way when they half-ass their way through every day of their life even get a good showing in the match that could change the course of this company’s fucking legacy.”
Dean takes a deep breath.
“So make your peace boys. Because if I find you if I catch you. You’re dead. Promise.”
Damien sat at the kitchen table across from Dean. Dean loved his son more than anything else in his life. The way Damien smiled sometimes almost broke his heart, Maxine’s smile. But he tried not to project too much of his heartbreak of Maxine onto the kid’s head. Damien was weird, Dean knew that. Damien worshiped his grandfather, talked about putting bootheels to people’s throats, and giggled at violence.
It was like a mirror but Dean had kept most of those kinds of thoughts inside his own head. He was trying to be a better person, in a small way. He didn’t regret the things he’d done in his career but he did want life to be better for Damien.
Damien was a good kid, a sweet boy. A little deranged and sometimes Dean wondered if people were right. If he really was a poor example for Damien. If he should have let Maxine’s family or foster care take Damien. If he should have let someone normal and well adjusted. Someone who knew how to be a good person. Someone who could be a normal Dad, someone who wasn’t so fucked up in the head.
“Daddy?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“You’re sad.”
“I am.”
Dean had hated his father for not being there to save him from the nightmare that had been his childhood. Would Damien hate him for not giving him a normal childhood? Had Dean fucked him up beyond all measure? Should he have wrapped him in a towel and left him on someone like Devlin or Jacobsen’s doorstep? Someone good?
Dean felt Damien’s arms around his arm. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too Damien.”
“Don’t be sad.”
Dean leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll try.”
“Want to go to the zoo?”
“Don’t you want to wait for Edward to come back?”
“Just me and you. Us.”
“You sure?”
Damien nodded eagerly. “Zoo!”
Dean smiled, “Alright. Grab your stuff. I’ll clean up the kitchen and write a note to pepaw, okay?”
“Zoo!” Damien rushed from the room.
Damien wasn’t perfect. He’d never be perfect. But Dean would love him anyway.
Well howdy there pardner.