Post by Mickey Jones on Mar 19, 2022 5:16:35 GMT
The camera comes to a scraped and battered door that may have once been painted red. Cheaper reflective stickers like you buy from Walmart have been hung showing that this is room number fourteen. Apprehensively the camera man knocks and a voice on the other side tells him to come on in it’s open. Slowly the door swings open to reveal a motel room that had not been remodeled since the early seventies complete with shag carpet that you stuck to in some ungodly color and faded furniture that may have once had giant marigolds on it. The feature attraction of the room however is a shirtless Mickey Jones sitting beneath the covers smoke an unfiltered Pall Mall red and sipping on a tall boy of Steel Reserve.
Don’t worry there’s no drugs laying out or naked women around just like I agreed. I can’t believe you guys are making me do another fucking promo before the show. No one gives a shit what I have to say and it’s really cutting into my partying. I had to take like half an hour to hide everything like the fucking po po was knocking on the door and I had six bitches in here until like an hour ago and now I’m sitting here with a hardon from all of the blue chew. So what do you want me to talk about?
“Ummm…how about why you think you’re going to win The Roulette,” the camera man answers.
I don’t think I’m going to win The Roulette and I’m not even going to try to win it. Can you imagine how fucked IWF would be if I was main eventing Night of the Immortals? I’m not fit to main event an outlaw mud show ran by a carny piece of shit named Three Fingers Jimmy, let alone the biggest show for the biggest company in the world.
Look I’m not like most professional wrestlers that you know. I don’t spend all of my time in the gym, in fact the most I ever do is some push ups, pull ups, and dips just like I learned in prison. My tan comes from the neon lights at my old man’s tavern, not a spray can. Hell I fuck up a headlock half of the time I try to do one. Honestly the only thing I’m good at is taking an ass whipping and giving one back. Does that sound like a guy that deserves to be in the same ring as the IWF World Champion?
Then why are you here?
They offered me money and a plane ticket out of Chicago. Do you know how fucking cold it is in Chicago this time of year?
You’re here because you wanted to take a vacation? Do you know how many guys would give up everything for this opportunity?
You act like I give a fuck about what other guys would give. The only person I ever gave a shit about was my worthless whore of a mother and she ran off with her best friends husband when I was six. No I look out for number one and number one only, which meant that I gladly jumped at an opportunity to go somewhere warm for a few days.
Mickey, who are you talking to? A naked woman walked out of the bathroom with a towel around her head. Who the fuck is this guy? I told you that I wasn’t into any freaky shit!”
It’s nothing like that Precious, this is a work thing. Go back into the bathroom for a couple of minutes while I finish up,
The woman stomps off and slams the door behind her
You can edit that out right? I totally forgot that she was in there.
I won’t have time to edit it, but it was an accident, so they shouldn’t get too pissed about it.
Alright, just as long as they don’t try to take away any of my money. I am already in pretty deep with a coke dealer named Cisco and a pimp named Shawty G, or some shit like that. I really don’t want to get my knee caps broken before Sunday. I mean it wouldn’t be a good look if I have to make my way to the ring on one of those scooters like they have at the grocery store.
I think you’ll be alright.
If I’m not I’m going to send Cisco and Shawty to look for you. I mean you’re driving that fancy IWF van out there, you can’t be too hard to find. Especially given Cisco’s connections in the Houston Police He’s also pretty connected in the Texas Athletic Commission, so don’t even try -to rat me out to the office.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Good now get the fuck out before this blue chew wears off.
Don’t worry there’s no drugs laying out or naked women around just like I agreed. I can’t believe you guys are making me do another fucking promo before the show. No one gives a shit what I have to say and it’s really cutting into my partying. I had to take like half an hour to hide everything like the fucking po po was knocking on the door and I had six bitches in here until like an hour ago and now I’m sitting here with a hardon from all of the blue chew. So what do you want me to talk about?
“Ummm…how about why you think you’re going to win The Roulette,” the camera man answers.
I don’t think I’m going to win The Roulette and I’m not even going to try to win it. Can you imagine how fucked IWF would be if I was main eventing Night of the Immortals? I’m not fit to main event an outlaw mud show ran by a carny piece of shit named Three Fingers Jimmy, let alone the biggest show for the biggest company in the world.
Look I’m not like most professional wrestlers that you know. I don’t spend all of my time in the gym, in fact the most I ever do is some push ups, pull ups, and dips just like I learned in prison. My tan comes from the neon lights at my old man’s tavern, not a spray can. Hell I fuck up a headlock half of the time I try to do one. Honestly the only thing I’m good at is taking an ass whipping and giving one back. Does that sound like a guy that deserves to be in the same ring as the IWF World Champion?
Then why are you here?
They offered me money and a plane ticket out of Chicago. Do you know how fucking cold it is in Chicago this time of year?
You’re here because you wanted to take a vacation? Do you know how many guys would give up everything for this opportunity?
You act like I give a fuck about what other guys would give. The only person I ever gave a shit about was my worthless whore of a mother and she ran off with her best friends husband when I was six. No I look out for number one and number one only, which meant that I gladly jumped at an opportunity to go somewhere warm for a few days.
Mickey, who are you talking to? A naked woman walked out of the bathroom with a towel around her head. Who the fuck is this guy? I told you that I wasn’t into any freaky shit!”
It’s nothing like that Precious, this is a work thing. Go back into the bathroom for a couple of minutes while I finish up,
The woman stomps off and slams the door behind her
You can edit that out right? I totally forgot that she was in there.
I won’t have time to edit it, but it was an accident, so they shouldn’t get too pissed about it.
Alright, just as long as they don’t try to take away any of my money. I am already in pretty deep with a coke dealer named Cisco and a pimp named Shawty G, or some shit like that. I really don’t want to get my knee caps broken before Sunday. I mean it wouldn’t be a good look if I have to make my way to the ring on one of those scooters like they have at the grocery store.
I think you’ll be alright.
If I’m not I’m going to send Cisco and Shawty to look for you. I mean you’re driving that fancy IWF van out there, you can’t be too hard to find. Especially given Cisco’s connections in the Houston Police He’s also pretty connected in the Texas Athletic Commission, so don’t even try -to rat me out to the office.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
Good now get the fuck out before this blue chew wears off.
Well howdy there pardner.