Post by Mike Machado on Oct 24, 2013 23:38:11 GMT
”I appreciate your desire for fairness in competition, Gerald. Really, I do. It’s just… it was a no-DQ match… and I didn’t even get to do anything that would have gotten me disqualified.”
”I apologize, m’lord. I swear I was ready to run out and assist if Gjenri showed his face, I just had confidence that m’lord would triumph over the evil mage, Cable Arcane. “
Gerald’s words are muffled coming from inside his chainmail helm, but still easily understood. Machado paces in front of Gerald in the locker room, slowly. Machado is still in his wrestling attire, and Gerald is in his full chainmail, as he often is.
”And your confidence was not ill-placed! I was able to best that son-of-a-bitch. I was able to beat him, despite his low blows and cheap shots. I’ve shown the world that I’m Mediocre no longer.”
”Of course not, m’lord! You never were mediocre! You held yourself back all these years!”
”Yes, you’re right Gerald. Now, with you here I’ve found the confidence to live up to my natural talents. I’m tired of holding myself back – tired of people saying that I could be more. I’m ready to actually be more!”
”I’m so glad to be of assistance, m’lord.”
”You always seem to be so glad to be of assistance.”
Machado plops down next to Gerald, a look of curiosity mixed with concern on his face.
”Why is that? Why are you really here?”
Gerald looks away for a moment, and then takes his chainmail helm off, sighing.
”It’s like I said, Mike – I don’t really have anywhere else to go, or anything else to do.”
Gerald stands up now, and walks over to the mirror above the sink.
”Every year when the winter approaches, and the faire ends, I just never want it to end. I want to be that guy, all the time. The guy that walks around with an axe – the guy the children are curiously frightened of – even though I never really pose any danger. But, there just aren’t opportunities like that in the real world. Hell, at my last real job they found out about my ‘extra-curricular activities’ and I never heard the end of it. People constantly asking me if I was going to bring my axe to work, or if I was drinking mead…”
”You were drinking mead, weren’t you?”
”Of course I was. That’s not the point. The point is, I need an escape; and the IWF, this whole partnership with you – it seems like the perfect escape to me.”
Machado gets up off the bench and approaches the giant Gerald, reaching up and gingerly placing his hand on the big man’s shoulder.
”Gerald – I hear you, man. I’m sorry if I struck a chord with you there, I didn’t mean to get all overly emotional.”
”No, it’s fine. M’lord.”
Gerlad and Machado both smile.
”Now – how’s about we go try to find Alex Jones car and wash the windshield inconsistently so there are really bad streaks when the sunlight hits it?”
Well, Embassy… I hate to break it to you, boys; but you were thrown straight into the fire here at IWF.
We will give you no quarter after we have broken your bodies in the ring.
You see Aaron and Kieth, for some reason you were chosen to go up against the hottest tag team in the business.
Undefeated! Champions of the people! Defenders of the Realm!
I mean, sure – technically it’s our first match, too. But since Gerald here has shown up, I’ve beaten both members of the Honorbound.
He is the LORD OF MUSTACHE!
That might not mean much to you, on account of you being completely new to this organization – but it’s actually a pretty big deal. Honorbound had two shots at the tag team titles not long ago. They were the consensus number two tag team in the IWF. Cable and Gjenri are nothing to scoff at; and I beat both of them. Pinned them – one, two, three. No outside interference…
My apologies, m’lord…
No gimmicks, no tricks – just the will to win, and a mustache that you could only dream of.
Endless, sexual, dreams of maidens and mustaches.
…What?
I’m sorry, m’lord. Please, continue.
A tag team is nothing if not the sum of its members. Neither of you have seen singles competition yet, so I can only judge you by what I’ve heard: First and foremost, we have Aaron Frederick Hudson. Is that your real name? When I hear that name, I think of a failed tween pop star.
Have gotten your tickets to the A.F.K show? OMG I’m totes excited!
Are you coming here from the Disney channel, Aaron? Is there a reason that you think you will be successful in the IWF? Your nickname is the Lady Killer – unfortunately for you, there aren’t any ladies in this tag team. Monday night will come, and you are going to have to get into that ring with Mike Machado and Gerald Killingbeck. Gerald Killingbeck – 7 feet of pain and masculinity. The quintessential man if I’ve ever seen one.
Though, admittedly lacking in mustache, m’lord.
It’s a gift and a curse, Gerald. Don’t get so down on yourself. I mean, you could be Kieth Johnson. “The Protégé” – I assume he’s A.F.K’s fluffer.
Truly an apt comparison, m’lord!
I’m not saying that you all don’t have a chance in this match. How could I say that? I’ve never seen either of you in the ring. For all I know you could be the second coming of Infamous! You could be the future of this organization! This match could go down in history as the IWF debut of the greatest tag team in the history of professional wrestling.
Truly a sight to behold! A team the bards will sing songs of!
What I’m saying is this: To beat me and Gerald, you two will have to be great. We aren’t taking this lightly. Hell, we’ve been looking forward to it for two weeks now. You are walking into our moment on Monday night. It’s our spotlight, and our show to steal. IWF is our realm to defend, and we will defend it to our deaths.
DEFENDERS OF THE REALM!
”I apologize, m’lord. I swear I was ready to run out and assist if Gjenri showed his face, I just had confidence that m’lord would triumph over the evil mage, Cable Arcane. “
Gerald’s words are muffled coming from inside his chainmail helm, but still easily understood. Machado paces in front of Gerald in the locker room, slowly. Machado is still in his wrestling attire, and Gerald is in his full chainmail, as he often is.
”And your confidence was not ill-placed! I was able to best that son-of-a-bitch. I was able to beat him, despite his low blows and cheap shots. I’ve shown the world that I’m Mediocre no longer.”
”Of course not, m’lord! You never were mediocre! You held yourself back all these years!”
”Yes, you’re right Gerald. Now, with you here I’ve found the confidence to live up to my natural talents. I’m tired of holding myself back – tired of people saying that I could be more. I’m ready to actually be more!”
”I’m so glad to be of assistance, m’lord.”
”You always seem to be so glad to be of assistance.”
Machado plops down next to Gerald, a look of curiosity mixed with concern on his face.
”Why is that? Why are you really here?”
Gerald looks away for a moment, and then takes his chainmail helm off, sighing.
”It’s like I said, Mike – I don’t really have anywhere else to go, or anything else to do.”
Gerald stands up now, and walks over to the mirror above the sink.
”Every year when the winter approaches, and the faire ends, I just never want it to end. I want to be that guy, all the time. The guy that walks around with an axe – the guy the children are curiously frightened of – even though I never really pose any danger. But, there just aren’t opportunities like that in the real world. Hell, at my last real job they found out about my ‘extra-curricular activities’ and I never heard the end of it. People constantly asking me if I was going to bring my axe to work, or if I was drinking mead…”
”You were drinking mead, weren’t you?”
”Of course I was. That’s not the point. The point is, I need an escape; and the IWF, this whole partnership with you – it seems like the perfect escape to me.”
Machado gets up off the bench and approaches the giant Gerald, reaching up and gingerly placing his hand on the big man’s shoulder.
”Gerald – I hear you, man. I’m sorry if I struck a chord with you there, I didn’t mean to get all overly emotional.”
”No, it’s fine. M’lord.”
Gerlad and Machado both smile.
”Now – how’s about we go try to find Alex Jones car and wash the windshield inconsistently so there are really bad streaks when the sunlight hits it?”
Well, Embassy… I hate to break it to you, boys; but you were thrown straight into the fire here at IWF.
We will give you no quarter after we have broken your bodies in the ring.
You see Aaron and Kieth, for some reason you were chosen to go up against the hottest tag team in the business.
Undefeated! Champions of the people! Defenders of the Realm!
I mean, sure – technically it’s our first match, too. But since Gerald here has shown up, I’ve beaten both members of the Honorbound.
He is the LORD OF MUSTACHE!
That might not mean much to you, on account of you being completely new to this organization – but it’s actually a pretty big deal. Honorbound had two shots at the tag team titles not long ago. They were the consensus number two tag team in the IWF. Cable and Gjenri are nothing to scoff at; and I beat both of them. Pinned them – one, two, three. No outside interference…
My apologies, m’lord…
No gimmicks, no tricks – just the will to win, and a mustache that you could only dream of.
Endless, sexual, dreams of maidens and mustaches.
…What?
I’m sorry, m’lord. Please, continue.
A tag team is nothing if not the sum of its members. Neither of you have seen singles competition yet, so I can only judge you by what I’ve heard: First and foremost, we have Aaron Frederick Hudson. Is that your real name? When I hear that name, I think of a failed tween pop star.
Have gotten your tickets to the A.F.K show? OMG I’m totes excited!
Are you coming here from the Disney channel, Aaron? Is there a reason that you think you will be successful in the IWF? Your nickname is the Lady Killer – unfortunately for you, there aren’t any ladies in this tag team. Monday night will come, and you are going to have to get into that ring with Mike Machado and Gerald Killingbeck. Gerald Killingbeck – 7 feet of pain and masculinity. The quintessential man if I’ve ever seen one.
Though, admittedly lacking in mustache, m’lord.
It’s a gift and a curse, Gerald. Don’t get so down on yourself. I mean, you could be Kieth Johnson. “The Protégé” – I assume he’s A.F.K’s fluffer.
Truly an apt comparison, m’lord!
I’m not saying that you all don’t have a chance in this match. How could I say that? I’ve never seen either of you in the ring. For all I know you could be the second coming of Infamous! You could be the future of this organization! This match could go down in history as the IWF debut of the greatest tag team in the history of professional wrestling.
Truly a sight to behold! A team the bards will sing songs of!
What I’m saying is this: To beat me and Gerald, you two will have to be great. We aren’t taking this lightly. Hell, we’ve been looking forward to it for two weeks now. You are walking into our moment on Monday night. It’s our spotlight, and our show to steal. IWF is our realm to defend, and we will defend it to our deaths.
DEFENDERS OF THE REALM!
Well howdy there pardner.