An Apple A Day

[Nick Knight]

Nick Knight stood at the window of his hotel room looking out over the field of the Rogers Centre. The ring crew is doing one final check of everything before calling it a day, and the stadium staff was busy setting up chairs for the floor seats. The dirt sheets were all saying that it could possibly be the biggest crowd that the stadium had ever seen, which was amazing for a regular TV show.

He had to admit to himself that it all made him a little bit nervous. It wasn’t the largest crowd he had ever performed in front of, but it was the first time he had ever been the one with his name on the marquee. The last thing he wanted to do was to have fans walk away feeling like they hadn’t got their moneys worth, because they were the lifeblood of IWF.

A knock on the door brought Nick back to Earth and he opened it to find the camera crew that he had requested. They quickly and professionally set up and within a couple of minutes the camera was rolling and Knight began to speak.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

That is what the old lady that lived next door when I was little used to tell me. When my Mom spent the grocery money on crack again I could always count on Ms. Lottie to feed me, and she always sent me to school with an an apple. Every time I eat an apple I think of her, and honestly it’s one of the few happy memories I have growing up.

A smile comes onto Nick’s face, but it almost instantly fades.

This time eating an apple isn’t going to keep the doctor away though. No, I could eat a thousand Granny Smiths or Red Delicious and it isn’t going keep “The Dr. of Thuganomics” away. It was just a matter of time before Wish Eminem was going to get a chance at the most prestigious championship in all of professional wrestling. After all there are only so many men on the IWF roster, and I’m quickly checking them off one by one.

Nick Danger-Check

Pax Stormcrow-Check

R.A. Marshall-Check

Knight makes a checkmark in the air with each name.

I am going to be frank in saying I’m not sure I should even be having this match. It’s not because I need a weeks rest, because I’ve told you that I’m not going to be that kind of champion. No it’s just that if you add my opponents name to the list of other men that I have faced at it’s pretty plain to see that one of them is not like the others. One of them is not the name of one of the fastest rising stars in the professional wrestling, or a young star that is just one big win from breaking out. One of them does not belong to the longest reigning IWF World Television Champion in history.

When you look at yourself in the mirror do you really think you measure up, John? I get it, your a confident kid, and you called me out last week. The problem is you didn’t handle your business, and Clay Kovar damn near kicked your head off your shoulders. That’s one Hell of a way to learn a very valuable lesson, always slay the dragon in front of you. Or in Kovar’s care it’s more like giant, because he’s a great big bastard, but I’m sure you know that after taking a size seventeen boot to the cranium.

This week you get to learn a couple more very valuable lesson. Starting with be very careful what you wish for. You wanted to call me out, well because the best this company has to offer is in the tournament for the Invictus Championship, you got me. Something inside of that little brain of yours thinks you’ve got what it takes to be the big swinging dick around IWF, well climb inside my ring and prove it. No talking tough to female interviewers, no Dollar Tree Beastie Boys rhymes, just you and me in the fucking ring.

That is where I am going to teach you one more free lesson, humility. The sport of professional wrestling will beat you down and humble you at every turn, but you haven’t seemed to learn that yet, John. Even in defeat you come back talking shit like you’re the fucking World Champion, when you should be swallowing that pill and learning from it. The only way that you’ll ever get to the level of an Angel Blake, Caroline Machado, or even me is by getting your ass kicked a thousand time and taking something away from every single beating.

Take young RAM for example, he lost last week, and this week he’s not on the card because he’s back in Texas working his ass off to get better. Caroline is right there with him teaching him to be a better submission fighter, but guess what she’s honing her craft too. You can even bet your ass that in some freaky dungeon somewhere Angel and Wraith are busting their asses getting ready for the upcoming ladder match.

I guess my question to you John, is what have you been doing to get better? Sitting down writing some rhymes that your wife and all of your fans in junior high will just love. No doubt going into the weight room and doing a lot of curls to make those biceps really bulge to make the little girls with your posters on their wall swoon. Maybe you even made a trip to the dry cleaners to make sure that your jorts are pressed just right.

A predators grin comes onto Nick’s face.

What ever it is you did I guarantee that it did not prepare you for what’s coming. You think that you’re a brawler, but you’ve never been in a fight with a sick son of a bitch like “The Hollywood Butcher.” I am a walking talking horror show villain once I get inside of that ring, John. I love to hurt people more than just about anything in the whole wide world. There is nothing that gets my motor running quite like making someone bleed. I get off on their screams as I do one of a thousand ways I know to hurt them.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Not when you’re inside the ring with Nick Knight.