Post by Perseus Kennedy on Oct 26, 2013 13:13:37 GMT
The battle at Greywater Watch didn’t last longer than two hours, it would have been done sooner if Ser Machado didn’t send the men out into hunting parties to gather what was left of the Mountain Clan who believed they could be brought into service by Lord Kane. It was the first victory on the march of Lord Cross’s forces, and it was nice to see how well a battle plan could come into play.
The army kept South, the battle seemed to only be a hiccup in the road. Night was falling soon, though they were only a stone throw away from The Twins, home of Lord Simon De Monte, and his..extended...family. Cross spurred his horse to the front, signally Ser Machado to set the men, and camp for the night.
Within moments, Cross was surrounded by his generals.
“We’ll take camp tonight. In the morrow, I’ll take a convoy of Machado, Landon, and Myself, with a few armed men…”
Lord Cross looks around.
“You sure you want me to go?”
Cross brow raised, as his attentioned turned to Machado, who looked nervous.
“What’s wrong Mountain?”
“I...er...The DeMonte’s have been know to...marry off their daughters like they were animals…”
“And?”
“I don’t want to get married.”
“You’re too ugly, even for one of De Monte’s girls!”
“Shut up Jones!”
Mountain Machado rose up, Jones didn’t back away, but he didn’t look too pleased.
“Enough you two….”
His voice was calm,
“Save some for the enemy…not each other. Machado, you shall not worry about disappointing the whores you bed, the only person who shall be married off is my son, Landon..”
Cross turned to the boy, putting his hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry...I truly am..”
“Duty, Realm, Family?”
“That is correct.”
Cross patted the boys shoulder, before exiting, his eyes towards the sky, his missed the warm embrace of his wife, however, this were tasks that needed to be done. No word had came South from Diamond, nor word on Joseph Everyman’s fate. He was a good man, but he offered nothing for either Spike nor Cross, his life would be a tragic loss, but provided no positive or negative.
The winter was cold, but the calculations of a man’s life seemed to be colder, at least in his eyes. But the measurements, the numbers, they had to be done, or else more would suffer.
Cross at in his tent planning, looking, and strategizing. It would be easy to squash the Kane rebellion, Diamond would arrive in the South West, they could march upwards and sandwich Castle Chaos, cutting the body from the head of the Snake. However, in order to take the Throne, getting the old King Knite back home would be vital, and Cross knew an army of slaves would provide the numbers, number won wars. Whether it was gold, weapons, or men.
The tent flap opened, and stood Lord Burns.
“The King of the North….”
“I am no King yet, I have no crown, nor a throne...What can I do for you old friend?”
“If Lord DeMonte agrees to give you passage, and you marry little lord Landon off, we will have to leave forces here. I recommend we leave your son and the back forces….but also, we received a crow a few moments ago...It’s about...well everything...…”
Cross’s attention quickly rose, as did he on his feet.
*****
The message was received with bitterness.
King Verona has granted Joseph Everyman with the lesser of punishment, sending him North to the wall, to take the Black. However, Spike Kane’s army had marched within a night’s ride of King’s Landing. Everyman held in shackles. News reported that Kane and Blade took Everyman to the view of the Lion’s Gate, gaining the King and his court’s attention. Announcing Traitors will receive the same fate as false kings. Blade would proceed to impale Everyman through the back, it seemed to be his new way of killing. As Everyman kneeled, dying, bleeding out. Spike Kane declared his quest for the throne would start with Everyman’s head, and end with Verona’s. Before taking the poor man’s head.
The next bit of news were more troubling.
The night following, Verona prepared for this war. Kane sent troops, as a show of power. At first they overwhelmed the Gold Clocks and Soldiers who waited at the outskirts of the gates. When it seemed the force would proceed forward, a horn blew. It was a trap.
The Reckless One, Brad Kane, and a force of 30,000 men hit from the right, and Lord David Ortega of Dorne hit from the left with a force of 20,000. It was a slaughter, the show of strength from Lord Verona, and his endless pockets.
Cross sat, looking at a map of the realm, various pieces laid, showing where who resided in what. Verona controlled the south, southeast, and east. Kane controlled the entire center of the realm, Cross and his army controlled the North. Steve and Rob would rise from the southwest. Though Spike Kane was surrounded, his force was the largest, and the new rumors floating around, was that he was the Stranger incarnated. Death walking.
“Ser Machado….”
The large man bowed his head, his terrifying smile stretched across his lips.
“Your homeland of Dorne marches with the King. I will grant you leave with your men, I will not fire at your backs. I have my honor, I will not tell a man he could not stand with his neighbors and brothers if that is his wish. Though I do pray you stay on my side.”
“Dorne is nothing but land. Land of a thoughtless lord.”
“Thoughtless for now. When I take the throne, you will be Lord Machado of Dorne, you will squire your sons in any corner of the realm.”
“I am a southern man, born. bred. Yet I march with men with snow on their heads. Silly little snow men.”
Machado's laugh sends a chill up his spine.
“But you are my men. You are my brothers, in battle. I will ride alongside you till the death of all of us.”
“I sure do not hope that comes.”
“I do not plan on dying against such pitiful, honorless enemies. How do you plan on dying Lord Machado?”
“Lord? Ha...well I’d much rather prefer to be drunk, in bed at the age of 80, with a woman’s mouth on my cock.”
Cross could not control his laughter.
“That surprises me. I always imagined your death being a daring battle with the Stranger himself. Burying your battle axe into his faceless skull.”
“I find no joy in fighting men when I cannot see their eyes.”
“and why is that?”
“I am a man of many jokes Ice King...but a man’s life ending is no joke, I see his eyes to carry with me. They say when you kill a man in battle, his ghost follows you around, waiting to battle you when your time comes. I have many ghosts surrounding me. I like to keep them aware that there will be a long line in the afterlife to fight me.”
Cross is a little surprised, the man of many words, that were usually inappropriate humor, spoke deeply. A growing respect would rise more and more each time he was able to speak to the future Lord Machado.
“Now if you’ll excuse me Ice King, I must not let my men get too drunk without me.”
and there it was..
“Thank you, Machado, you’re a good ally, and a better friend.”
“I’m a pretty fantastic dancer also.”
The large man makes his exit, as Cross’s eyes move back to the map, eyeing Spike’s force placement, his stomach was unsettling.
******
The court of the Twins always felt unusual, the smell was horrid. Children ran left and right, all some form of offspring of DeMonte. It was true, Simon was the oldest lord in the realm, he had taken the seat of the Twins after killing his father, this happened while Xavier’s great-great grandfather was Lord of the North. The more unique part about Simon De Monte, was the fact that even in his old age, his cock worked like a man in his prime. It was almost terrifying, he had more bastards than even the great drunk King Vice, who said to have a bastard from the Wall to the walls of Dorne.
But now Cross stood, his son to his right, little Landon, who had grown into such a man. His hair dark like his mother’s, but his eyes were the same Cross brown. He had grown a light stubble on his face since the beginning of the march. Here he stood, a man ready to accept duty. This boy would lose his heir to the throne if Cross were to take Iron Throne, however, he would take the Twins for the North, he would rule from the Twins to the Wall, a powerful piece of land.
Machado stood still, his eyes locked on the wall in front of them. Cross giving him a smile.
“Relax my friend. We’re not here to find you a wife.”
“Alas my King, I fear that the floors are sticky..”
Cross looked down at their feet, frowning, as the attention is drawn to the center of the room, where Lord De Monte is slowly making his way to his wooden throne of Twins. He was a walking corpse, as a strange odor sunk into the room as the man entered. It took a moment, but he took his chair, for a moment he didn’t realize who was standing in front of him, as De Monte took wine from one of his servants. His cracked lips smiled, revealing missing, broken, and yellowed teeth.
Hearing Machado make an audible ‘yuck’ noise almost made Cross laugh, however he maintained composure.
“False King? What do you want? Bringing war upon my home, upon my wives and children.”
It was known, De Monte took many wives when the others stopped producing heirs.
“I come with an offer. I require passage through the Twins. You are the only man in the realm who can grant that to me. So I come bearing a gift of friendship….”
“Friendship, you bring the man-giant, and your boy to my court. You bring a hundred thousand armed men to my gates, and you offer friendship? You’re not much like your father.”
“My father is dead. I understand you granting me passage will bring you into this war, however.”
“However? Why should I grant you passage, if I say no, what is to stop you from burning the twins, taking what you want, killing what you don’t need?”
“I am not a ruthless rider. It will be extra days of travel, wear on my soldiers. It could cost me the war, my life, and the life of my soldiers, but I refuse to run roughshot on this realm. This is my Kingdom…”
“A nonruthless king...interesting...so what do you propose?”
“If my passage is granted, I will leave a sted of 10,000 men at your sted. To protect the Twins from any of our enemies attempts to retaliate. I’m willing to clear any debts you have to not only the North, but to the Realm. I will grant you Protector of the Gate, allowing you to control the strip of Northern Lands up to Greywater Watch. My lady Zelda commands the north, I only ask for you to let me pass and move my troops and trade through the Twins, and to not allow any man not holding my banners, but to take his life.”
“It sounds like you ask me to be your guard dog…”
“I ask for you to stand with me. I will squire any of your sons in the North.”
“But yet, you bring your eldest boy? Is he betrothed…”
Landon’s heart sunk at the old man’s words, as Cross stepped forward his voice calm, it almost felt like a shield to Landon.
“I offer you my eldest son. To be married to the daughter of De Monte of your choosing. He is the heir to Wintercrest, and the next Lord of the North.”
“I would to marry my daughter to your son.”
“Marrying into the North has it’s advantages, and when I take the Iron Throne, you will be brother to the King...I offer you much De Monte…”
“You have yourself a deal….Cross...you will take my son Bernard as your squire, do not send him North, I’d rather him ride with you. Learn the tides of war. I will also send him a small force, sending a little lordling without soldiers makes the Twins seem weak. The only trade that will be allowed through the Twins and King’s Road will hold only Cross banners. No one will enter the North without your approval, or their lives will be the toll to pay. Our children will be married in a fortnight.”
“Alas. I will continue you my march in the morning. Though I’ve heard of some of the De Monte celebrations, you’ll give my son a grand wedding.”
De Monte’s smile twisted a bit, but he shook his head.
“Off with you then. Your marches to war mean nothing. Bernard, go! Gather your men, and meet with Lord Cross’s forces. The Twins are yours Ice King.”
Cross nods his head, turning to his son, his hands placed on either of his shoulders.
“One day you’ll make a great Lord of the North my boy. After you are wed to De Monte’s daughter, you will take men back North with you, protect your mother, our family, our home..Start your life as Lord of the North. Start your family.”
“I’d rather ride with you…”
“I cannot have my heir riding behind me. I fear for your life, I fear for everything I love. I will not put you in risk. If anything happens to me, raise banners and take my place.”
He kisses his son’s forehead, the boy had grown so much.
“Lord Machado. Come, before you end up finding yourself married.”
Machado hops to it, as the large man leads the way out of the hall.
*****
The army kept South, the battle seemed to only be a hiccup in the road. Night was falling soon, though they were only a stone throw away from The Twins, home of Lord Simon De Monte, and his..extended...family. Cross spurred his horse to the front, signally Ser Machado to set the men, and camp for the night.
Within moments, Cross was surrounded by his generals.
“We’ll take camp tonight. In the morrow, I’ll take a convoy of Machado, Landon, and Myself, with a few armed men…”
Lord Cross looks around.
“You sure you want me to go?”
Cross brow raised, as his attentioned turned to Machado, who looked nervous.
“What’s wrong Mountain?”
“I...er...The DeMonte’s have been know to...marry off their daughters like they were animals…”
“And?”
“I don’t want to get married.”
“You’re too ugly, even for one of De Monte’s girls!”
“Shut up Jones!”
Mountain Machado rose up, Jones didn’t back away, but he didn’t look too pleased.
“Enough you two….”
His voice was calm,
“Save some for the enemy…not each other. Machado, you shall not worry about disappointing the whores you bed, the only person who shall be married off is my son, Landon..”
Cross turned to the boy, putting his hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry...I truly am..”
“Duty, Realm, Family?”
“That is correct.”
Cross patted the boys shoulder, before exiting, his eyes towards the sky, his missed the warm embrace of his wife, however, this were tasks that needed to be done. No word had came South from Diamond, nor word on Joseph Everyman’s fate. He was a good man, but he offered nothing for either Spike nor Cross, his life would be a tragic loss, but provided no positive or negative.
The winter was cold, but the calculations of a man’s life seemed to be colder, at least in his eyes. But the measurements, the numbers, they had to be done, or else more would suffer.
Cross at in his tent planning, looking, and strategizing. It would be easy to squash the Kane rebellion, Diamond would arrive in the South West, they could march upwards and sandwich Castle Chaos, cutting the body from the head of the Snake. However, in order to take the Throne, getting the old King Knite back home would be vital, and Cross knew an army of slaves would provide the numbers, number won wars. Whether it was gold, weapons, or men.
The tent flap opened, and stood Lord Burns.
“The King of the North….”
“I am no King yet, I have no crown, nor a throne...What can I do for you old friend?”
“If Lord DeMonte agrees to give you passage, and you marry little lord Landon off, we will have to leave forces here. I recommend we leave your son and the back forces….but also, we received a crow a few moments ago...It’s about...well everything...…”
Cross’s attention quickly rose, as did he on his feet.
*****
So here it is, I’m supposed to trust Rob Diamond, and Alex Jones. Awesome. Yeah, sure Rob paid his price, he has done this, he has done that. But is that supposed to matter to me? I mean really? It seems each man here has a price for their loyalty, for some it’s protecting the gold they cling to around their waist. To some it’s money, to other’s the ability to satisfy some masochistic desire.
Regardless.
So maybe Diamond is a guy I can trust….
But Alex Jones?
This dude wants to put a dagger in my back, I’d say more than Ryan Blade, but the kid already managed to stab me in the back. Let me remind everyone who has been under a rock. When NCW closed, I was the one who ruined Alex’s shining moment. I took everything he worked so hard for, and I pissed on it. All over it.
It was Zelda Knite standing tall that night, Alex Jones got his 15 seconds of fame. I took it from it, all over some stupid grudge I held so long ago.
But AJ is a changed man right? Maybe? Though I feel he’ll eventually stub his toe and change sides. Dude flip flops more than John Kerry. Regardless, these are the men I am going to battle with, and maybe my weakness is, I’m going to have to fight back to back with someone, then I’ll trust you. I’ll give you my everything, expecting it in return.
Maybe I am a fool for trusting these two.
*****The message was received with bitterness.
King Verona has granted Joseph Everyman with the lesser of punishment, sending him North to the wall, to take the Black. However, Spike Kane’s army had marched within a night’s ride of King’s Landing. Everyman held in shackles. News reported that Kane and Blade took Everyman to the view of the Lion’s Gate, gaining the King and his court’s attention. Announcing Traitors will receive the same fate as false kings. Blade would proceed to impale Everyman through the back, it seemed to be his new way of killing. As Everyman kneeled, dying, bleeding out. Spike Kane declared his quest for the throne would start with Everyman’s head, and end with Verona’s. Before taking the poor man’s head.
The next bit of news were more troubling.
The night following, Verona prepared for this war. Kane sent troops, as a show of power. At first they overwhelmed the Gold Clocks and Soldiers who waited at the outskirts of the gates. When it seemed the force would proceed forward, a horn blew. It was a trap.
The Reckless One, Brad Kane, and a force of 30,000 men hit from the right, and Lord David Ortega of Dorne hit from the left with a force of 20,000. It was a slaughter, the show of strength from Lord Verona, and his endless pockets.
Cross sat, looking at a map of the realm, various pieces laid, showing where who resided in what. Verona controlled the south, southeast, and east. Kane controlled the entire center of the realm, Cross and his army controlled the North. Steve and Rob would rise from the southwest. Though Spike Kane was surrounded, his force was the largest, and the new rumors floating around, was that he was the Stranger incarnated. Death walking.
“Ser Machado….”
The large man bowed his head, his terrifying smile stretched across his lips.
“Your homeland of Dorne marches with the King. I will grant you leave with your men, I will not fire at your backs. I have my honor, I will not tell a man he could not stand with his neighbors and brothers if that is his wish. Though I do pray you stay on my side.”
“Dorne is nothing but land. Land of a thoughtless lord.”
“Thoughtless for now. When I take the throne, you will be Lord Machado of Dorne, you will squire your sons in any corner of the realm.”
“I am a southern man, born. bred. Yet I march with men with snow on their heads. Silly little snow men.”
Machado's laugh sends a chill up his spine.
“But you are my men. You are my brothers, in battle. I will ride alongside you till the death of all of us.”
“I sure do not hope that comes.”
“I do not plan on dying against such pitiful, honorless enemies. How do you plan on dying Lord Machado?”
“Lord? Ha...well I’d much rather prefer to be drunk, in bed at the age of 80, with a woman’s mouth on my cock.”
Cross could not control his laughter.
“That surprises me. I always imagined your death being a daring battle with the Stranger himself. Burying your battle axe into his faceless skull.”
“I find no joy in fighting men when I cannot see their eyes.”
“and why is that?”
“I am a man of many jokes Ice King...but a man’s life ending is no joke, I see his eyes to carry with me. They say when you kill a man in battle, his ghost follows you around, waiting to battle you when your time comes. I have many ghosts surrounding me. I like to keep them aware that there will be a long line in the afterlife to fight me.”
Cross is a little surprised, the man of many words, that were usually inappropriate humor, spoke deeply. A growing respect would rise more and more each time he was able to speak to the future Lord Machado.
“Now if you’ll excuse me Ice King, I must not let my men get too drunk without me.”
and there it was..
“Thank you, Machado, you’re a good ally, and a better friend.”
“I’m a pretty fantastic dancer also.”
The large man makes his exit, as Cross’s eyes move back to the map, eyeing Spike’s force placement, his stomach was unsettling.
******
Honorbound. Or as I like to call them now, Spike’s testicles.
So let’s start with lefty, and new cruiserweight champion. G-man himself, because honestly at this point you’re really not worth spelling your name our, or even pronouncing it. Because honestly. I don’t care, matter of fact, I could care less about anyone in this match. But congrats on beating Alex for the championship, I’m sure he’s going to have a few stiff shots for you.
Actually, it’s about time you did...well anything? I mean you keep pairing yourself up with Cable, and you find failure, but look at you. On your own. Winning titles. I said this once before, and maybe it’s finally revealing itself to you G-man. But you’re better without him, and eventually Cable Arcane will be your downfall.
And as for you righty. Good job, you beat up Mike Laszlo, join the club, or as many people like to say it. The rest of the roster. I mean you, what are you, who do you think you are. You walk with a strut in Spike’s shadow like you actually matter. You’ve got a couple of wins, one against me, but like...Cable, what the hell are you trying to do?
Suck at Spike’s golden tit and hope you get something? Or are you the runt of the litter. Blade is the man of steel champion, G-man is the cruiserweight champ, Spike is a douche, and Killian is the rising young star. You’re the runt of the god damn herd.
Get your shit together young man.
******The court of the Twins always felt unusual, the smell was horrid. Children ran left and right, all some form of offspring of DeMonte. It was true, Simon was the oldest lord in the realm, he had taken the seat of the Twins after killing his father, this happened while Xavier’s great-great grandfather was Lord of the North. The more unique part about Simon De Monte, was the fact that even in his old age, his cock worked like a man in his prime. It was almost terrifying, he had more bastards than even the great drunk King Vice, who said to have a bastard from the Wall to the walls of Dorne.
But now Cross stood, his son to his right, little Landon, who had grown into such a man. His hair dark like his mother’s, but his eyes were the same Cross brown. He had grown a light stubble on his face since the beginning of the march. Here he stood, a man ready to accept duty. This boy would lose his heir to the throne if Cross were to take Iron Throne, however, he would take the Twins for the North, he would rule from the Twins to the Wall, a powerful piece of land.
Machado stood still, his eyes locked on the wall in front of them. Cross giving him a smile.
“Relax my friend. We’re not here to find you a wife.”
“Alas my King, I fear that the floors are sticky..”
Cross looked down at their feet, frowning, as the attention is drawn to the center of the room, where Lord De Monte is slowly making his way to his wooden throne of Twins. He was a walking corpse, as a strange odor sunk into the room as the man entered. It took a moment, but he took his chair, for a moment he didn’t realize who was standing in front of him, as De Monte took wine from one of his servants. His cracked lips smiled, revealing missing, broken, and yellowed teeth.
Hearing Machado make an audible ‘yuck’ noise almost made Cross laugh, however he maintained composure.
“False King? What do you want? Bringing war upon my home, upon my wives and children.”
It was known, De Monte took many wives when the others stopped producing heirs.
“I come with an offer. I require passage through the Twins. You are the only man in the realm who can grant that to me. So I come bearing a gift of friendship….”
“Friendship, you bring the man-giant, and your boy to my court. You bring a hundred thousand armed men to my gates, and you offer friendship? You’re not much like your father.”
“My father is dead. I understand you granting me passage will bring you into this war, however.”
“However? Why should I grant you passage, if I say no, what is to stop you from burning the twins, taking what you want, killing what you don’t need?”
“I am not a ruthless rider. It will be extra days of travel, wear on my soldiers. It could cost me the war, my life, and the life of my soldiers, but I refuse to run roughshot on this realm. This is my Kingdom…”
“A nonruthless king...interesting...so what do you propose?”
“If my passage is granted, I will leave a sted of 10,000 men at your sted. To protect the Twins from any of our enemies attempts to retaliate. I’m willing to clear any debts you have to not only the North, but to the Realm. I will grant you Protector of the Gate, allowing you to control the strip of Northern Lands up to Greywater Watch. My lady Zelda commands the north, I only ask for you to let me pass and move my troops and trade through the Twins, and to not allow any man not holding my banners, but to take his life.”
“It sounds like you ask me to be your guard dog…”
“I ask for you to stand with me. I will squire any of your sons in the North.”
“But yet, you bring your eldest boy? Is he betrothed…”
Landon’s heart sunk at the old man’s words, as Cross stepped forward his voice calm, it almost felt like a shield to Landon.
“I offer you my eldest son. To be married to the daughter of De Monte of your choosing. He is the heir to Wintercrest, and the next Lord of the North.”
“I would to marry my daughter to your son.”
“Marrying into the North has it’s advantages, and when I take the Iron Throne, you will be brother to the King...I offer you much De Monte…”
“You have yourself a deal….Cross...you will take my son Bernard as your squire, do not send him North, I’d rather him ride with you. Learn the tides of war. I will also send him a small force, sending a little lordling without soldiers makes the Twins seem weak. The only trade that will be allowed through the Twins and King’s Road will hold only Cross banners. No one will enter the North without your approval, or their lives will be the toll to pay. Our children will be married in a fortnight.”
“Alas. I will continue you my march in the morning. Though I’ve heard of some of the De Monte celebrations, you’ll give my son a grand wedding.”
De Monte’s smile twisted a bit, but he shook his head.
“Off with you then. Your marches to war mean nothing. Bernard, go! Gather your men, and meet with Lord Cross’s forces. The Twins are yours Ice King.”
Cross nods his head, turning to his son, his hands placed on either of his shoulders.
“One day you’ll make a great Lord of the North my boy. After you are wed to De Monte’s daughter, you will take men back North with you, protect your mother, our family, our home..Start your life as Lord of the North. Start your family.”
“I’d rather ride with you…”
“I cannot have my heir riding behind me. I fear for your life, I fear for everything I love. I will not put you in risk. If anything happens to me, raise banners and take my place.”
He kisses his son’s forehead, the boy had grown so much.
“Lord Machado. Come, before you end up finding yourself married.”
Machado hops to it, as the large man leads the way out of the hall.
*****
Here is a history lesson for you Spike, since you seem to enjoy talking about the past.
As powerful as an Empire’s rise is, what is the most glorious part of it all. The fall. You’re sitting on a throne of lies and dick moves. You’ve betrayed the one man who trusted you, your Brother from another lover, Rob Diamond. What makes these men that follow you any better than him? The guy who was willing to follow you to the end.
You betrayed him.
What will stop you from cutting their throats to keep that title around your waist just a little longer?
Your false courage, your inane egotistical desires, obviously your humble beginings didn’t mean shit. In fact, it’s all lost in this false glory you pursue. Because you were not the only person to end the Juggarnauts. That belt Blade has stolen from me, proves something.
I killed the other half of the giants. And if we look back, I think we both know that I had a tougher challenge. Wink, wink, nudge nudge.
Now, I could talk this, and that. But I really don’t want to waste my breath, because I don’t care about you, or your little empire gang of fluffers. What I care about is Ryan Blade. You’re corrupting him, leading him down a path of inevitable self destruction. I once prided myself as a savior, but that was something self absorbed, a tough pill to swallow.
So don’t worry about how pissed Brad Kane is at you. The only blood you need to concern yourself, is your blood that I’ll use as lube, when I shove my foot so far up your ass you’ll be picking rubber out of your teeth for a month.
King of the Empire.
God of Chaos.
That means nothing to a nonbeliever.
#HailtoTheCross
Well howdy there pardner.