Post by Caroline Machado on Feb 9, 2023 9:11:50 GMT
In the latest round of meditation, Caroine Machado envisioned herself gazing at the studios at KDFW-TV, Fox 4, on Griffon Street in downtown Dallas. It was on a Monday morning back in 2021, and IWF was supposed to have its Sacrifice show play out inside the American Airlines Center. The foggy image of a proud James Gilmore can be seen standing next to her, patting her on the back with a fatherly smile on his face.
"So...you're gonna talk to Tim and Lauren, huh?"
At the time, Tim Ryan and Lauren Pryzybyl anchored Good Day, one of the highest-rated morning news programs in the Metroplex. Understandably, Caroline was bouncing up and down -- feeling happy for the occasion, but also quite shaky. After all, this was her first time in front of a major mainstream audience, and she was about to make that first impression to the region.
"How're ya feelin', kiddo? You're gonna be seen by a few million folks today...!"
"I feel...hehehe, nervous!!"
"Felt the same way you did the first time I went on Good Day. A lot of people are watchin' as they get ready for work or school..."
In her meditative state, Caroline heard the quivering tone of her own voice as she felt her body tremble from head to toe.
"How did you handle the moment...?"
"Just bein' myself..."
Caroline raised her brow, trying to draw up a question but got nothing instead.
"Ya see, the other big mistake people make in their lives is pretendin' to be someone they're not..."
JJ's voice was deadly serious, like a father talking to his child about the birds and the bees.
"Don't try to be like me, or Fi, or anyone else. You be you..."
He paused.
"...you be you..."
As if on some sort of cue, Caroline's alarm went off -- ending her round of meditation on the spot. On a cool and damp Scottish morning, she took a deep breath as she opened her eyes, her gaze focused on her laptop's 19-inch monitor. She nodded warmly as she clicked on the button that started her livestream on Twitch. She smiled, taking a sip from a bottle of peach tea.
"A alegria de ganhar e a agonia de perder.
It's moments like those that make you want to put this life into perspective.
I know what it feels like to be crowned Women's World Champion. I feel the excitement when the music hits, when you realize that the work and sacrifice you put in has finally paid off. I feel the thrill that only be felt when fifty thousand people are happy-jumping up and down, clamoring to get that coveted autograph before they go home. I feel the wonder inside of my heart, knowing that for the first time in my life, I went out to an arena and proved that I was more than just some garota de vôlei brasileira saltitante who always laughs or smiles, even when times are bad.
At the same time...?
I know what it feels like to lose that title. I feel...sadness...every time I vision Jennie walking away from the ring with that belt. I feel a sense of disappointment, knowing that I came so close to retaining but didn't pan out how I would have wanted it. I feel this...dreadful...when reporters and other news people write about whether or not I'll have the strength to get it all back. It's times like these that help me understand that...well, you never stop learning! You never stop evaluating what's happened so you can apply yourself better?
I know, I know...hehehe, it's cliche!!! Hehehehe...!!!!!!
It's easy for people to appreciate it when they've achieved something that they've struggled so mightily for; you feel like...you're invincible, that you're playing offense and everyone else is on defense. The hardest part of this life, however...is learning to appreciate it more when you DON'T have that achievement, when you're NOT in control of the game. In sports, you learn that while offense always scores the points, the defense never gives up.
Never."
The Brazilian's tone of voice grew earnest with each beat.
"Whether you're a Champion or not, you never give up.
After all, the IWF Galaxy is watching closely!!!
They know what they want to see. They want to see Shelly Diamond reclaim her place as Women's World Champion. They want to see her prove to the whole world that, after everything involving the Work, she can go out to that arena and reclaim her status as 'the best ever' -- even when the critics will point out how deluded she became the last time she was Champion.
They want to see Jennie Fenix do better than anything her older sister Tara ever did in her own career. They want to see the 2022 Heroine of the Year overcome being hit by a car not once, but twice, and prove to the world that she can be more than just her last name. They want to see her go out into that arena and become one of the 'fighting' Champions in this promotion.
Yet...they IWF Galaxy wonders one thing: what about me?
What about me...?
Every day, I find myself thinking about the things JJ had taught me early on, and...one of the biggest things I ever learned was never to be somebody I'm not. I cannot emulate or replicate the career Shelly has had. I cannot try and duplice the brand name of Fenix and their accomplishments. I can only be Caroline Machado -- and ONLY that name.
I will never allow the Women's WOrld title to define my life as a person.
I will never lose focus on the road ahead of me -- even at the expense of the here and now.
And I will never give up -- even when I feel as if I'm not in control of the game.
Sometimes I hear a lot of things from people -- that I brim with too much confidence or don't show enough of it. To me, though...this is not just about this sport. In my mind, it feels...easy...to be confident whenever I'm executing my strikes in the ring. Yet the hardest thing...is feeling confident whenever I'm getting beat up! In that arena, we tend to think that we're fighting to see who 'the best' is.
But what matters to me...is bringing out THE BEST...in not just myself, but Shelly and Jennie too!
Never being caeless -- but never being TOO careful either!
And never being afraid to lose..."
"So...you're gonna talk to Tim and Lauren, huh?"
At the time, Tim Ryan and Lauren Pryzybyl anchored Good Day, one of the highest-rated morning news programs in the Metroplex. Understandably, Caroline was bouncing up and down -- feeling happy for the occasion, but also quite shaky. After all, this was her first time in front of a major mainstream audience, and she was about to make that first impression to the region.
"How're ya feelin', kiddo? You're gonna be seen by a few million folks today...!"
"I feel...hehehe, nervous!!"
"Felt the same way you did the first time I went on Good Day. A lot of people are watchin' as they get ready for work or school..."
In her meditative state, Caroline heard the quivering tone of her own voice as she felt her body tremble from head to toe.
"How did you handle the moment...?"
"Just bein' myself..."
Caroline raised her brow, trying to draw up a question but got nothing instead.
"Ya see, the other big mistake people make in their lives is pretendin' to be someone they're not..."
JJ's voice was deadly serious, like a father talking to his child about the birds and the bees.
"Don't try to be like me, or Fi, or anyone else. You be you..."
He paused.
"...you be you..."
As if on some sort of cue, Caroline's alarm went off -- ending her round of meditation on the spot. On a cool and damp Scottish morning, she took a deep breath as she opened her eyes, her gaze focused on her laptop's 19-inch monitor. She nodded warmly as she clicked on the button that started her livestream on Twitch. She smiled, taking a sip from a bottle of peach tea.
"A alegria de ganhar e a agonia de perder.
It's moments like those that make you want to put this life into perspective.
I know what it feels like to be crowned Women's World Champion. I feel the excitement when the music hits, when you realize that the work and sacrifice you put in has finally paid off. I feel the thrill that only be felt when fifty thousand people are happy-jumping up and down, clamoring to get that coveted autograph before they go home. I feel the wonder inside of my heart, knowing that for the first time in my life, I went out to an arena and proved that I was more than just some garota de vôlei brasileira saltitante who always laughs or smiles, even when times are bad.
At the same time...?
I know what it feels like to lose that title. I feel...sadness...every time I vision Jennie walking away from the ring with that belt. I feel a sense of disappointment, knowing that I came so close to retaining but didn't pan out how I would have wanted it. I feel this...dreadful...when reporters and other news people write about whether or not I'll have the strength to get it all back. It's times like these that help me understand that...well, you never stop learning! You never stop evaluating what's happened so you can apply yourself better?
I know, I know...hehehe, it's cliche!!! Hehehehe...!!!!!!
It's easy for people to appreciate it when they've achieved something that they've struggled so mightily for; you feel like...you're invincible, that you're playing offense and everyone else is on defense. The hardest part of this life, however...is learning to appreciate it more when you DON'T have that achievement, when you're NOT in control of the game. In sports, you learn that while offense always scores the points, the defense never gives up.
Never."
The Brazilian's tone of voice grew earnest with each beat.
"Whether you're a Champion or not, you never give up.
After all, the IWF Galaxy is watching closely!!!
They know what they want to see. They want to see Shelly Diamond reclaim her place as Women's World Champion. They want to see her prove to the whole world that, after everything involving the Work, she can go out to that arena and reclaim her status as 'the best ever' -- even when the critics will point out how deluded she became the last time she was Champion.
They want to see Jennie Fenix do better than anything her older sister Tara ever did in her own career. They want to see the 2022 Heroine of the Year overcome being hit by a car not once, but twice, and prove to the world that she can be more than just her last name. They want to see her go out into that arena and become one of the 'fighting' Champions in this promotion.
Yet...they IWF Galaxy wonders one thing: what about me?
What about me...?
Every day, I find myself thinking about the things JJ had taught me early on, and...one of the biggest things I ever learned was never to be somebody I'm not. I cannot emulate or replicate the career Shelly has had. I cannot try and duplice the brand name of Fenix and their accomplishments. I can only be Caroline Machado -- and ONLY that name.
I will never allow the Women's WOrld title to define my life as a person.
I will never lose focus on the road ahead of me -- even at the expense of the here and now.
And I will never give up -- even when I feel as if I'm not in control of the game.
Sometimes I hear a lot of things from people -- that I brim with too much confidence or don't show enough of it. To me, though...this is not just about this sport. In my mind, it feels...easy...to be confident whenever I'm executing my strikes in the ring. Yet the hardest thing...is feeling confident whenever I'm getting beat up! In that arena, we tend to think that we're fighting to see who 'the best' is.
But what matters to me...is bringing out THE BEST...in not just myself, but Shelly and Jennie too!
Never being caeless -- but never being TOO careful either!
And never being afraid to lose..."
Well howdy there pardner.