One (Family Effort)

[The Spencers]

Stood under a giant IWF Performance Centre banner, left to right, from oldest to youngest are a band of brothers, often overlooked by company management - The Spencers. The oldest, Spencer stood next to coolest Bucky, who stood next to the most visually distinct, Jebediah and last but not least the smallest youngest and most geeky, Ricky.

Ricky surprisingly was the first to speak, brimming with a rarely seen confidence, which may or may not have everything to do with his girlfriend Birdie Winston recently having agreed to go public with their relationship.

Another year, another Roulette is almost upon us and though the official company line has always been that this is the one time of year that is a wide open field of play and that this is the one time of year that it can be anybody’s time of year ta really step up to the plate and shine, one need only take a few minutes ta look at the history of this match ta see the truth is actually quite different. The stark reality of the situation is that for each of the ten years that this match has been happening, only a handful of truly unestablished new stars have ever won the thing, and even fewer of that elite group actually managed to leave any kind of lastin’ legacy after they won the giant annual free for all…


Bucky was next to step forward, in his leather vest and shades, he spoke with a much more pronounced Southern accent and with decidedly less eloquence than his youngest brother.

Nah, see, before Ricky loses himself too much in the facts an’ figures of this match breakin’ it all down for ya’ll like the little lovable nerd he is, l ain’t here ta give all y’all a history lesson, except ta say that for half a decade now we’ve been caught up an’ lost in the Devo system. Forgotten almost, ‘an why? First it was ‘cause we ain’t fit the head honcho Spike’s idea of a formidable unit or maybe he just couldn’t come ta terms with supportin’ an’ nurturin’ a true blue brotherly bond….

Jebediah interjected, distinct from his brothers through virtue of being the most groomed, clearly he was somebody who took pride in his appearance and appeared at least on the surface to be the one who embraced the traditional masculine aesthetic the least.

Now that ain’t really all that surprisin’ is it? I mean the man spent two decades havin’ all kinds of relatives crawl out from under all sorts of rocks before he had the good graces just ta go kick the big one himself an’ rather than look out for any of them, all he ever wanted ta do was kick the shit out of them and if he couldn’t, well then ya got ignored altogether, least until he found himself desperate enough ta need a younger star’s relevancy ta leech off of an’ stave off obscurity a little bit longer. Of course, we can’t put all the piss poor management decisions on the shoulders of a dead man, can we? As fun as it is ta dunk on Spike Kane an’ Heaven knows some have made quite a lucrative career outta it, some of the accountability has ta fall on the livin’ embodiment of the old adage, “Those who can’t do, teach”, Bob Pooler…

The biggest and most well built of the brood, Spencer Spencer took up the baton to say his piece next, the steely look etched in his stone face foreshadowed a beast who spoke only for purpose and for maximum impact, an extension of his natural physical disposition and imposition.

More fool us for actually believin’ things would be different with The Queen City Saint shepherdin’ the next generation of supposed IWF superstars, but now I think we are far enough removed ta see just how full of shit an’ hot air the glorified twitch streamer who very occasionally moonlights as a pro wrestler really is. For years, we attended his classes where he fed us all the wild promises about how things would be different now and that we were all a family an’ all that Grade A premium horse shit…yet look around ya. In the year of our Lord 2023, which of proud Papa Pooler’s fabled kids have actually made it? How many originals from his class have ya ever seen get TV time or any kind of real opportunity at all?

Nah, see, we gave him every opportunity. We trusted the process an’ instead of takin’ advantage of the home grown talent right under their noses, the Powers That Be decided that they needed ta cast their net wider, promotin’ themselves on Twitter under a new open door policy ta come an’ be a big deal in the most major of all western promotions instead…an’ why? ‘Cause a few of the established boys with the most pull spoke the loudest an’ got their way. But here’s the bitter pill nobody wants ta take, this company’s problem has never been a social media one…

Bucky shook his head, removed his shades.

Naw, the real problem is an’ always has been a legacy hire problem…

[The Spencers]

See, as much as we love our sister an’ God knows we would die for her, the truth is she only got the chances she did AFTER she discovered the truth of who she born ta be. A truth that even now eats away at her an’ ta be honest, we ain’t sure she’ll ever fully come ta terms with it. An’ as fun as it was ta celebrate some of her record setting achievements at the time, a couple years of reflection later an’ we can’t help but wonder if she would have ever made it in this company if she was a full blooded first generation Spencer, without all the pomp an’ circumstance of bein’ of Kane blood. Look, we know y’all only pay attention ta the royal families of professional ‘rasslin’ or who they’re fuckin’, like the Kanes, the Blakes, the Keetons an’ The Dochertys, whilst the rest of us who lost out on each of those particular lotteries of life ain’t ever gonna be considered worth spit, but enough is enough ain’t it?

Ain’t it time for a change?

Ain’t it time ta really shake up the status quo?

Ain’t it time for the Gods who laud over us ta be reminded that they would be nothin’ without the men who define their significance?

Surely even an idol as false an’ fallible as Angel Blake must realise that God only has power so long as there are Men who have faith…an’ whilst we cannot speak for anybody else who may turn up in this match, we are a family of heretics as far as Angel is concerned ‘cause we have never pledged ourselves ta anybody save ourselves. We’ve never believed in the Blake prophecy ‘cause we believe in an even handed, just and lovin’ Lord first an’ foremost an’ really y’all only need ta take five minutes an’ really judge Angel by his body of work in this company an’ you’ll see he only pops back in when he sees an opportunity ta seize power or relevance.

The only people Angel has ever truly blessed an’ looked out for are the direct product of his widely scattered seed. Even now he clings ta both his sons, it is a safety blanket for him ta know that Dean an’ Sabin are both in this match an’ so long as they are, the Blake dominion is set ta continue ta overshadow the tenth anniversary of  this company in the most important event of the year - Night of the Immortals.

The rest of us are practically NPCs around here an’ have been ta some form of the Blake regime for years now, whether directly or indirectly, the most successful men in this company have always made it a point ta never be more than six degrees of separation from Angel Blake.

Well, as somebody who has assured his longevity by pickin’ his spots in this business, we sure hope the entire Blake family won’t begrudge us for pickin’ ours this year. We might not be able ta guarantee we will play spoiler in this match, but we damn sure ain’t in it ta make up the stats or pad somebody else’s elimination stats either.

Not this time, not this year.

Naw, see we will do what we’ve always done best. Stick together. Strength in numbers, one of us might not be a threat in this match much less a threat ta the iron grip of a false prophet like Angel Blake, but together…well, that’s a different proposition all together now, aint it?

Spencer punctuates his words with a smile.

Individuals have tried ta wrestle the power an’ privilege away from the self proclaimed powers of this company for a long time now an’ the history books show that even in cases where they succeeded it was really only in the short term. No wonder Angel considers himself above all y’all when none of ya have proven ta be a sustainable opposition even in the months where he has been put on the shelf. Nah, y’all watch somebody else beat him back inta semi retirement an’ then rest on your laurels, until he inevitably pops up ta make everythin’ about him or his damned family again…

Well, this year, we are here ta show the world that for every Blake family around here, there is another they relegate ta obscurity simply through ignorance. Ten years of the Kanes and Blakes bein’ the only recognised families around here worth anythin’ is more than enough, don’t ya think?

It is time for a new family ta step up. It is time for new blood to shine. It is time for new names ta be immortalised.

Our family.

Our blood.

Our name.

We are the Spencers an’ we are all in this together. All for one an’ one for all. See it ain’t gonna matter which one of us does it, but when one of us makes our mark in this match comin’ out of this match, all y’all will have no other choice but ta acknowledge a band of brothers y’all didn’t even know still went here ‘cause The Powers That Be saw fit ta shuffle us away quietly inta the Devo system in favour of more easily intimidated Southerners they could push around an’ exploit like James Gilmore an’ Fiona McFly.

We ain’t here ta be the good ol’ boys no more, the nice but dim Texan caricature. No sir, we are here ta earn more than the respect of our fellow competitors, we are here ta redefine everythin’ ya think ya know about us, our culture and our lifestyle.

We are here ta take back Texas pride and in the process reclaim our own…

[The Spencers]

We came inta this company on the back of a promise. The kinda unbreakable promise that family only makes ta family. A promise ta look out for each other, a promise ta watch each other’s backs no matter what, an’ most of all, a promise ta always keep in mind that nothin’ - not a single damn thing in this business - was or ever would be bigger or more important than family.

This year’s Roulette, the potential shot at Night of the Immortals changes none of that. See, some of our more ego-driven competitors would say that that sort of unwaverin’ loyalty and absolute devotion ta somethin’ or someone is a weakness ta be exploited an’ taken advantage of, but such ignorance only exposes all y’all’s short sightedness headin’ inta one of the most important matches of the year.

Do somethin’ long enough in life an’ it’s only a matter of time before it becomes second nature, an’ the nature of our family is one of protection. Growin’ up with four siblin’s, each of us grew up fast, we grew up fightin’, but most of all we grew up always havin’ someone in our corner. That kind of security cannot be taught, bought, or found anywhere outside family. Five years ago, we entered the Devo system as a unit, an’ when we are done, we will leave this company as a unit. In short, we intend ta approach this match the very same way we approach life - as one glorious whole.

As Pa is often quick ta remind us, if it ain’t broke, it don’t need fixin’…

An’ there ain’t nothin’ broke in our family, let me tell all y’all.

Even more than that, we know all there is ta know about havin’ an unshakeable faith in our one true Lord an’ Saviour, the one true God, the one who will carry the four of us inta the biggest match of our careers an’ reward us for our stand against the blasphemous false prophet Angel and his misguided an’ lost sons who long ta turn away from true salvation an’ falter in the path of sin as they walk the path of Man. In knowin’ our God as intimately as we do, we know that He shall bless us with the strength ta confront the Man who evokes divinity without any respect for the weight of his terrible blasphemy.

When you’ve spent a lifetime with your literal brothers in arms, the bond we have is impossible ta break. The trust, the chemistry, and the comradarie is irreplicable an’ irreplaceable. There is simply no substitute for it, an’ that is and will be our greatest advantage goin’ inta this match. When ya have spent a not insignificant amount of your formative years learnin’ not ta let ambition cloud moral value, ya gain a remarkable sense of perspective. We have coveted the same thing on more than one occasion, we have fought each other, but we have never lost sight of the greater good or the grander purpose. We know the inherent value of supreme an’ selfless sacrifice.

We’ve fought each over our favourite toys, our mutual crushes, an’ almost everythin’ in between an’ through it all we have never let anythin’ come between us, ‘cause with a bit of perspective ya learn ta look at things from a different angle. Ya learn that some things are bigger than the individual, and for those things ya learn ta see beyond yourself.

Like this year’s Roulette match.

Almost all y’all look upon this match strictly through an individualist lens, we look at it through a collective one. This ain’t about one of us risin’ above the rest, nah, it’s about elevatin’ us all, the family as equals.

We don’t have ta all outlast all y’all, so long as one of us does.

An’ the real advantage of that mindset is that we have all the power ta invert the typical mindset of everyone else in this match. Ta truly neutralise us in this match, y’all have ta eliminate not only us as individuals but as a team. Ya have ta divide your efforts an’ while all y’all are divided, my brothers an’ I will be as united as we’ve ever been in provin’ that this year’s match is bigger than any one of us individually.

An’ why shouldn’t it be?

It only makes sense if ya think about it. Winnin’ here means more than a guaranteed main event match at Night of the Immortals, winnin’ here means a World Championship shot at the most prestigious Night of The Immortals since the very first, damn near a decade ago.

A landmark show.

A historic event.

The Golden Ticket will be upgraded to Platinum this year, an’ really with so much on the line, much more so than in any previous year, why shouldn’t the honor of headlinin’ go ta someone who has really paid their dues an’ worked their way up in THIS company exclusively?

What better way ta celebrate the milestone is there?

For half a decade we have been allowed ta do nothin’, but sow our seeds in IWF. At High Stakes 2023, it is harvest time, and in the Roulette, we will finally reap our just rewards as the Good Lord has always intended for us to.

Together, as one.