Post by Eddie D. on Oct 30, 2013 1:50:43 GMT
Trent: This is a bad idea.
Rod: Dude, shut it.
Halloween, 2013, Rob Diamond is dressed as his hero Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead, his daughter Hope is dressed as Zombie Judith (SPOILER ALERT THE BABY DIES IN THE COMICS!!!!!) and the apparition of Trent Helms is of course dressed as Lori.
Trent: All I’m saying is you and Alex need to mend the bridge first.
Rob glares at the man only he can see, the man who is dressed as a woman as the two of them approach the door of the Jones family.
Rob: Yeah, that’s the whole point of tonight.
Trent: It’s going to take more than trick or treating together to form a bond that can take down Spike Kane and the Empire.
Rob: What the hell do you know about taking down Empires?
Trent takes a deep breath as he is about to answer.
Rob: NOPE! Shut it, I don’t wanna know.
Rob walks up to the door and adjusts his daughter in his arms as he knocks, the door almost immediately opens as Shelly answers, she’s dressed as the bride of Frankenstein.
Shelly: OH MY GOD HOPE LOOKS ADORABLE!!!!
Rob: We know.
Shelly: Humble much?
Rob: Pfft, we know we look good.
Shelly plants a quick kiss on the cheek of her brother and quickly steals the baby from his arms.
Shelly: MINE!
Rob: HEY!
Shelly disappears into the house. Rob walks in to a fully decked out Halloween living room, the Jones are taking this party thing seriously, there’s some games, creepy music and CLASSIC horror movies on the big screen. Rob laughs as he looks around and spots Trent spiking the punch, of course he isn’t really there so it’s only spiked to him.
Rob: You’re an idiot.
Trent: Pfft, time to get this party started.
Shelly hurries by chasing Dylan who is dressed as Eddie Munster and they head off into the kid’s room. Rob laughs as he walks passed them and heads out onto the back porch where Alex Jones is currently leaning over the railing, complete in his Frankenstein costume.
Rob: Hey man,.
Alex: Sup.
The two stand in somewhat awkward silence for a few moments.
Rob: I’m sorry…
Both men wait for the world to come to an abrupt halt but it doesn’t, eventually Alex turns and looks at his brother in law.
Alex: For?
Rob: For not believing in you man. I know what it’s like to want to be better than who you were yesterday. I should of given you the benefit of the doubt.
Alex: It’s not like I’ve ever given you a reason too.
Rob: True, you’re kind of a dick.
The Trent that only Rob can see or feel elbows him in the ribs.
Alex: That’s almost insulting coming from the biggest asshole in IWF.
Rob: Asshole? I’m not the one who jerked everyone’s chain for weeks on end.
Trent: Rob, shut it please.
Alex: No, you’re right. You’re the guy who helped Spike take over the damn company and THEN decided it was time to turn on him. Atleast I had the common decency to stay out of it.
Rob: Atleast I’ve never been pinned by a woman.
Alex: Fuck you
Rob: No, fuck you.
Alex: You wanna take this outside?
Rob: We’re already outside.
Alex: Then let’s do this.
Rob: Alright dick breath.
Rob and Alex suddenly move a whole lot closer to each other when suddenly Shelly and the children interrupt.
Shelly: Hey! There’s trick or treaters at the door, would you two superstars care to give them candy?
The two of them look at her and smile like nothing happened.
Both: OF COURSE!
Shelly: Good. Oh and I’m ordering pizza, decide what you want on it.
Shelly skips away as happy as can be with all the kids she could ever want. Rob and Alex slowly look at each other and smile.
Alex: Sorry.
Rob: No I’m sorry.
Alex: No seriously, I’m sorry, that was rude.
Rob: So was I, totally rude.
The two head back into the house and toward the front door.
Alex: So what do you want on the pizza.
Rob: Sausage.
Alex: Sausage? Really?
Rob: What?
Alex: I don’t know, why not get something classic like pepperoni?
Rob: Because I’m not a bitch.
Alex: Are you calling me a bitch?
Rob: Yes, yes I am.
The two of them reach for the door at the same time and open it to a bunch of costumed kids.
Kids: TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!
Rob and Alex both look at the kids and smile a rather twisted grin.
Rob and Alex: TRICK!!!!!!
And pull a rip cord that’s hanging conveniently near the door as a huge bucket of blood drops on the kids standing in the door and totally ruins their Halloween costumes and their nights. Rob and Alex immediately break out into laughter.
Rob: AWESOME!
Alex: Yeah it was.
The two of them slam the door in the kids faces and grab the candy for themselves. They both hop over the back of the couch together and switch on the Walking Dead marathon on AMC. Alex busts out a snickers and Rob quickly raids the bowl for the Reeses cups.
Rob: So you think about that thing I talked to you about?
Alex peels back the wrapper as Rick makes his way out of the hospital.
Alex: Yup.
Rob: And?
Trent sits down next to them drunk off his ass from the spiked punch, his pants missing and a bra sitting on top of his head.
Alex: Long live the Rebellion.
The two of them fist bump as Trent passes out besides them…
I wanna make this short and fucking sweet.
I KILLED THE EMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH! WHAT BITCH!!!!!
Rob Diamond, the same man who brought down the Jugs before they even began has now brought down the Empire before they even began, yeah, Spike won that one battle at Revolution but who stood in that ring and beat him along with his team during a FAIR match?
ME! BITCH!
So now what? Oh, oh what? Twitter excuse? Twitter excuses??? Is that what I hear? Bitches say what?
Yeah Spike, you lost, fair and square, take a page out of Mike Laszlo’s book an eat your words because you’re looking fucking pitiful right now.
Oh don’t worry, I know it’s just a battle in a greater war, a war I wholly intend on winning because…
I AM THE DANGER!!!!!
I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!!
So guess what, WATCH YOUR BACK! Check your doors, lock your windows, tuck your kids in at night with a t-rex at the end of the bed just in case I have Freddie Krueger like powers because ROB DIAMOND IS COMING!!!!!
But that’s enough about Spike and his Empire, this week I’m not facing any of them, not a one. Instead I’m facing some new guy, some nearly untested guy, some guy that has apparently wrestled all over the world EXCEPT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!
This guy goes by the name of Eddie Black, he’s got an epic beard and a penchant for taking things to the EXTREME! Well guess what Eddie, you’re in luck. I’m in kind of a froggie mood, I’m kind of feeling like jumping so I’m going to go right ahead and DEMAND this match be made EXTREME RULES!
I know I’ve got nothing to worry about as far as you accepting the terms are concerned, you want this as much as I do. See, the last few weeks I’ve been taking some wicked ass beatings from a man I literally loved….
LIKE A BROTHER!!!
And all of those beatings have been getting to my head, they’ve been making me a little angry, to tell the truth, they’ve been really pissing me off. So I’m looking over your way and I’m seeing a guy who has absolutely nothing to do with anything that’s going on and there for will not take anything I do inside that ring personally.
Awesome.
See this isn’t about whether or not we like each other, respect each other or even give two craps about each other. I don’t give a shit if you’ve followed my career or not and I don’t give a shit how man careers you may have ended before you got here. All I care about this week is being able to goddamn hurt you. I’m in kind of a bad mood Eddie, despite my win this past week my ex best buddy Spike Kane is still riding high on top of IWF and acting like a true to life god.
Fuck that shit.
He doesn’t know what a God is.
Honestly? Every word out of his mouth makes me sick and the sheer fact the man gets to breath the same air as regular people like you and me feels like a war crime. But that’s beyond the point. The point is I’m pissed off, I want to hurt someone, I want to break someone. I want to get inside that ring and just throw the rules the fuck out and beat someone to within an inch of their life.
That’s where you come in.
This week Eddie you get to play the victim. You get to be the Lori Strode to my Michael Myers, the big breasted teenager to my Jason Vorhees, the Tuco to my Heisenberg. You get to be the guy I take my fucking frustrations out on. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen what you an do, I’ve watched your matches. Great job losing to that Mason guy twice and just barely beating Steve Awesome’s side kick. Ya looked good just barely not sucking. But this week you step inside the ring with a FUCKING HALL OF FAME WORLD GODDAMN CHAMPION WHOSE LOOKING TO END YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate you, I don’t not like you, it’s just a simple matter of the wrong fucking place at the wrong fucking time and I’m going to have to break your fucking face.
So you and me Eddie, two grown men who love to fucking hurt people for the sheer enjoyment of hurting people are gonna step inside that ring and we are in fact going to hurt each other.
But me? I’m not going to stop with hurt. I’m going to break. I’m going to crush. I’m going to END. I’m going to make sure the legend of Eddie Black begins and ends within the confines of the same match and then I’m going to carry on with my life feeling a little bit better about it all because I was able to take out some of my pent up aggression on you.
Thanks for being my crash test dummies.
Now be a good boy and SUCK IT!
Rod: Dude, shut it.
Halloween, 2013, Rob Diamond is dressed as his hero Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead, his daughter Hope is dressed as Zombie Judith (SPOILER ALERT THE BABY DIES IN THE COMICS!!!!!) and the apparition of Trent Helms is of course dressed as Lori.
Trent: All I’m saying is you and Alex need to mend the bridge first.
Rob glares at the man only he can see, the man who is dressed as a woman as the two of them approach the door of the Jones family.
Rob: Yeah, that’s the whole point of tonight.
Trent: It’s going to take more than trick or treating together to form a bond that can take down Spike Kane and the Empire.
Rob: What the hell do you know about taking down Empires?
Trent takes a deep breath as he is about to answer.
Rob: NOPE! Shut it, I don’t wanna know.
Rob walks up to the door and adjusts his daughter in his arms as he knocks, the door almost immediately opens as Shelly answers, she’s dressed as the bride of Frankenstein.
Shelly: OH MY GOD HOPE LOOKS ADORABLE!!!!
Rob: We know.
Shelly: Humble much?
Rob: Pfft, we know we look good.
Shelly plants a quick kiss on the cheek of her brother and quickly steals the baby from his arms.
Shelly: MINE!
Rob: HEY!
Shelly disappears into the house. Rob walks in to a fully decked out Halloween living room, the Jones are taking this party thing seriously, there’s some games, creepy music and CLASSIC horror movies on the big screen. Rob laughs as he looks around and spots Trent spiking the punch, of course he isn’t really there so it’s only spiked to him.
Rob: You’re an idiot.
Trent: Pfft, time to get this party started.
Shelly hurries by chasing Dylan who is dressed as Eddie Munster and they head off into the kid’s room. Rob laughs as he walks passed them and heads out onto the back porch where Alex Jones is currently leaning over the railing, complete in his Frankenstein costume.
Rob: Hey man,.
Alex: Sup.
The two stand in somewhat awkward silence for a few moments.
Rob: I’m sorry…
Both men wait for the world to come to an abrupt halt but it doesn’t, eventually Alex turns and looks at his brother in law.
Alex: For?
Rob: For not believing in you man. I know what it’s like to want to be better than who you were yesterday. I should of given you the benefit of the doubt.
Alex: It’s not like I’ve ever given you a reason too.
Rob: True, you’re kind of a dick.
The Trent that only Rob can see or feel elbows him in the ribs.
Alex: That’s almost insulting coming from the biggest asshole in IWF.
Rob: Asshole? I’m not the one who jerked everyone’s chain for weeks on end.
Trent: Rob, shut it please.
Alex: No, you’re right. You’re the guy who helped Spike take over the damn company and THEN decided it was time to turn on him. Atleast I had the common decency to stay out of it.
Rob: Atleast I’ve never been pinned by a woman.
Alex: Fuck you
Rob: No, fuck you.
Alex: You wanna take this outside?
Rob: We’re already outside.
Alex: Then let’s do this.
Rob: Alright dick breath.
Rob and Alex suddenly move a whole lot closer to each other when suddenly Shelly and the children interrupt.
Shelly: Hey! There’s trick or treaters at the door, would you two superstars care to give them candy?
The two of them look at her and smile like nothing happened.
Both: OF COURSE!
Shelly: Good. Oh and I’m ordering pizza, decide what you want on it.
Shelly skips away as happy as can be with all the kids she could ever want. Rob and Alex slowly look at each other and smile.
Alex: Sorry.
Rob: No I’m sorry.
Alex: No seriously, I’m sorry, that was rude.
Rob: So was I, totally rude.
The two head back into the house and toward the front door.
Alex: So what do you want on the pizza.
Rob: Sausage.
Alex: Sausage? Really?
Rob: What?
Alex: I don’t know, why not get something classic like pepperoni?
Rob: Because I’m not a bitch.
Alex: Are you calling me a bitch?
Rob: Yes, yes I am.
The two of them reach for the door at the same time and open it to a bunch of costumed kids.
Kids: TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!
Rob and Alex both look at the kids and smile a rather twisted grin.
Rob and Alex: TRICK!!!!!!
And pull a rip cord that’s hanging conveniently near the door as a huge bucket of blood drops on the kids standing in the door and totally ruins their Halloween costumes and their nights. Rob and Alex immediately break out into laughter.
Rob: AWESOME!
Alex: Yeah it was.
The two of them slam the door in the kids faces and grab the candy for themselves. They both hop over the back of the couch together and switch on the Walking Dead marathon on AMC. Alex busts out a snickers and Rob quickly raids the bowl for the Reeses cups.
Rob: So you think about that thing I talked to you about?
Alex peels back the wrapper as Rick makes his way out of the hospital.
Alex: Yup.
Rob: And?
Trent sits down next to them drunk off his ass from the spiked punch, his pants missing and a bra sitting on top of his head.
Alex: Long live the Rebellion.
The two of them fist bump as Trent passes out besides them…
I wanna make this short and fucking sweet.
I KILLED THE EMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH! WHAT BITCH!!!!!
Rob Diamond, the same man who brought down the Jugs before they even began has now brought down the Empire before they even began, yeah, Spike won that one battle at Revolution but who stood in that ring and beat him along with his team during a FAIR match?
ME! BITCH!
So now what? Oh, oh what? Twitter excuse? Twitter excuses??? Is that what I hear? Bitches say what?
Yeah Spike, you lost, fair and square, take a page out of Mike Laszlo’s book an eat your words because you’re looking fucking pitiful right now.
Oh don’t worry, I know it’s just a battle in a greater war, a war I wholly intend on winning because…
I AM THE DANGER!!!!!
I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!!!!
So guess what, WATCH YOUR BACK! Check your doors, lock your windows, tuck your kids in at night with a t-rex at the end of the bed just in case I have Freddie Krueger like powers because ROB DIAMOND IS COMING!!!!!
But that’s enough about Spike and his Empire, this week I’m not facing any of them, not a one. Instead I’m facing some new guy, some nearly untested guy, some guy that has apparently wrestled all over the world EXCEPT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION!
This guy goes by the name of Eddie Black, he’s got an epic beard and a penchant for taking things to the EXTREME! Well guess what Eddie, you’re in luck. I’m in kind of a froggie mood, I’m kind of feeling like jumping so I’m going to go right ahead and DEMAND this match be made EXTREME RULES!
I know I’ve got nothing to worry about as far as you accepting the terms are concerned, you want this as much as I do. See, the last few weeks I’ve been taking some wicked ass beatings from a man I literally loved….
LIKE A BROTHER!!!
And all of those beatings have been getting to my head, they’ve been making me a little angry, to tell the truth, they’ve been really pissing me off. So I’m looking over your way and I’m seeing a guy who has absolutely nothing to do with anything that’s going on and there for will not take anything I do inside that ring personally.
Awesome.
See this isn’t about whether or not we like each other, respect each other or even give two craps about each other. I don’t give a shit if you’ve followed my career or not and I don’t give a shit how man careers you may have ended before you got here. All I care about this week is being able to goddamn hurt you. I’m in kind of a bad mood Eddie, despite my win this past week my ex best buddy Spike Kane is still riding high on top of IWF and acting like a true to life god.
Fuck that shit.
He doesn’t know what a God is.
Honestly? Every word out of his mouth makes me sick and the sheer fact the man gets to breath the same air as regular people like you and me feels like a war crime. But that’s beyond the point. The point is I’m pissed off, I want to hurt someone, I want to break someone. I want to get inside that ring and just throw the rules the fuck out and beat someone to within an inch of their life.
That’s where you come in.
This week Eddie you get to play the victim. You get to be the Lori Strode to my Michael Myers, the big breasted teenager to my Jason Vorhees, the Tuco to my Heisenberg. You get to be the guy I take my fucking frustrations out on. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen what you an do, I’ve watched your matches. Great job losing to that Mason guy twice and just barely beating Steve Awesome’s side kick. Ya looked good just barely not sucking. But this week you step inside the ring with a FUCKING HALL OF FAME WORLD GODDAMN CHAMPION WHOSE LOOKING TO END YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate you, I don’t not like you, it’s just a simple matter of the wrong fucking place at the wrong fucking time and I’m going to have to break your fucking face.
So you and me Eddie, two grown men who love to fucking hurt people for the sheer enjoyment of hurting people are gonna step inside that ring and we are in fact going to hurt each other.
But me? I’m not going to stop with hurt. I’m going to break. I’m going to crush. I’m going to END. I’m going to make sure the legend of Eddie Black begins and ends within the confines of the same match and then I’m going to carry on with my life feeling a little bit better about it all because I was able to take out some of my pent up aggression on you.
Thanks for being my crash test dummies.
Now be a good boy and SUCK IT!
Well howdy there pardner.