Post by Dean Harper on May 26, 2023 18:25:12 GMT
Camera comes on to Dean sitting on the porch of a burned down abandoned house, looking down at his feet.
“This started with JC coming to me. He needed a tag team partner. He said he wanted someone worse then him. Said he needed someone who wasn’t going to cringe at his dark past or his more violent impulses.”
Dean laughs.
“And yeah, that’s me.”
Dean stretches his legs out.
“There isn’t much I haven’t done to win a match. I kidnapped and tortured loved ones. I broke into houses and threatened children. I cheated, I lied, I even slept with someone’s not nearly as ex wife as he wanted her to be. I licked skulls and ended careers. I even pinned a dying man to get the world title. I’m not a good person. And I don’t pretend any of more more noble impulses make me a better man then I was when I first came into this company.”
Dean taps his foot.
“I came into this company as Rowan’s attack dog. I was her most loyal. I was the honey pot and the recruiter for her cult. I antagonized and I recruited. While Rowan was the mastermind I was the one who brought people in. Most of the worst things we did were my idea or my fault for enabling her. Worst of all when Warren left and Mx died, I sold out my family for the chance to keep making money to support my kid.”
Dean shakes his head.
“Then I was Roberto Verona’s attack dog. I put down things in this company that embarrassed him and insulted what he wanted this company to be. Because as much as I preached the love and support The Pack meant to me, money and security for my son meant more. I put my body on the line to beat anyone who needed it. I was a heater. Then I was glorified shadow of my father as he took out competition. Because I wanted to be the Good Son. I wanted his love so desperately I would have killed someone to gain it. He never asked for it but I felt like I was never enough for him.”
Dean sighs.
“And I created my own worst nightmare. With Eddie at my father’s side once more suddenly came Tara, Sabin then Hayleigh, Shelly back from the dead and then Lilith. A true family. Something he could have legitimately that he got to pick, that he got the raise and he got to love. I was jealous. But I didn't blame him for going after what he wanted. I wanted so much myself. I built a life with Warren and got injured, again.”
Dean looks up at the camera.
“Yeah, I’m not the weapon I was. I don’t work myself to the bone anymore. I don’t push myself to be on every show. I don’t pick fights with people and demand a match. I don’t hurt people like I used to. Therapy is a hell of a thing, isn’t it? I don’t feel the need to be the most present, the most seen, the most hated man in the company anymore. I no longer need the sheers like I used to. I don’t have as much rage that needs to be unleashed by trying to kill people who’ve never done anything to me. Maybe I’ve been defanged since I lost the world championship the first time. Maybe its been since I left the pack. Maybe it’s been since Warren came back into my life.”
Dean smirks.
“Hell, who can fucking say? But I wasn’t defanged. I changed. Me. On my own. Of my own choice. I picked my destiny. For fucking once in my goddamned life I decided what I wanted. I didn’t want to be the show dog. I didn’t wat to be the preening pop star who needs to tell everyone how cool I am and why they should love me. They love me or they hate me. I don’t give a fuck. I do what I do for myself.”
Dean winks.
“I came back. I always do. I came here to get back the tag team titles that I had won first with my father and then with my husband. The tag team belts that I used to see as a symbol of the progress I’d made. As the things that made me feel like I had finally proved I was worthy of any thing I had achieved. JC asked and I wanted to. Not because of some grand conspiracy. Because I wanted to.”
Dean laughs.
“I had taken the chance on winning the Roulette. The one thing in Imperial Wrestling Federation I had never done that. I wanted to win. It wasn’t the first year I’d wanted to win. Because I wanted to. I wanted to control what I was remembered for. I wanted to be defined by no family, no master, no name but my own goddamned skill. And that’s what this is about. Am I happy that both the tag team match and the world title match are the same? No. No, I wanted to prove I could beat my father on my own. But … Nobody gets what they want, do they?”
The camera feed cuts and starts again with Dean sitting on a swing.
“Hey Sabin.”
Dean waves.
“I know this isn’t what you had planned for tonight either. You wanted to be the one fighting Dad for the world title belt. You beat puppy for it and you wanted to show you could get it back. You wanted to roll some heads and get to be on top of the mountain again. You wanted the fucking throne and the world.”
Dean nods.
“And I took that from you. I robbed you of that by beating you on the roulette. I beat you one on one a few times. You are a pain in my fucking ass because you are such a good little solider and such a better fucking son then I could ever be. You have parents that love and support you. You even have my father loving and supporting you. You have the whole fucking world. You undid one of my biggest achievements by erasing my legacy as the youngest world champion ever in IWF history. All with your fucking pretty boy looks. All while being one of the most fucking likeable people in the world.”
Dean stands up.
“I miss when I used to fucking hate you. I miss how much I loathed you.”
Dean smiles.
“But I don’t hate you. I don’t even want to take everything from you anymore. Oh, there was a time I would have liked nothing more then to turn your joy into ash. But that’s…that’s not who I am anymore. Not because I lost my edge. But because I wanted to be different.”
Dean plays with his wedding ring.
“You’re my brother. And I love you. I love our little brother and our little sisters. As much as I have felt displaced and replaced by you and them, that doesn’t change the fact that I do care about you. I love your mom. I love your aunt. I love our father. I know hurting you, beating you, will hurt them. I know my ambition since my return has put strain on my relationship with them all.”
Dean drops his hands.
“What I do has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
Dean stares down the camera.
“I mean that, Sabin. This is not some childish lashing out. This is about my place. My ambition. My fucking life. I want to take both of those belt. Because I want to. Nothing personal, just business.”
Dean shrugs.
“You can be cross about that as much as you want. But I am going to beat your fucking skull in if you fuck with me on this, little brother. I will fucking curb stomp you into an early fucking grave if I have to. I don’t assume you will step aside or that you and JC will keep to just fighting each other even though that’s what I’d prefer. But nobody gets what they want. I’ll put you down again if I have to, like the dog you are.”
The camera feed skips and Dean is standing in a park, hands in his pockets.
“Hi Dad. I know we haven’t been speaking much since I got back. There is no blame for that. I’ve been avoiding you just as much as you’ve been avoiding me. Because what the fuck is there to say at this point?”
Dean is silent for a minute.
“I meant everything I said last time we fought. I don’t blame you. I don’t think you are a bad father. I don’t think you not being in my life somehow ruined it. As much of my past is terrible it made me who I am. It brought me to where I am. It gave me Damien and it gave me Warren. I’m not unhappy with that. I have the life I want.”
Dean bit his lower lip.
“I also will likely eat your ashes when you die. Because, yeah I need you to love me. I need your approval like a junkie. Not talking to you, not seeing you and not getting my fix of praise has honestly been the hardest part of this whole journey.”
Dean shakes his head.
“But I’m not backing down from what my goal is. I am going to beat you. I am going to take the world championship from you. Even if I have to kill you to do it. Because I want to.”
Dean licks his teeth.
“I know it’s not the new image or whatever but if we had to pick my sin, I think it’s always been greed. I want it all. I always have. I want to be the obsession. I want to sit on the throne. I want to be the best there ever was. I want all the men and all the women. I want all the money. I want to own it all. Like a fucking dragon, I would love to sleep on a pile of all the fucking gold. I want it all.”
Dean steps up to the camera so only his face is visible.
“And you are going to have to kill me. To keep me from taking what I want from you.”
“I deserve nothing but your unbridled wrath. You call yourself the best there has ever been. You say Nick Knight has been the only one worthy of being your equal. I’ll admit, that burned me deep in the dark places. Because that’s what I wanted to be. I wanted to be the only one you would consider equal to yourself. I wanted to beat you. Because I want to.”
“Loving you as much as I do is a weakness. It’s pathetic. It’s wasteful. You don’t love your servants. You are incapable of loving anyone lesser than yourself. And while I know I am not beneath you, I know I have to pounds that lesson into you. I am going to be unleashing every part of me. I am not going to hold back. I want to kill you. Maybe if I kill you too then I can finally get out of the shadow that’s been cast over me since we became family.”
“I got most of the accomplishments in my career before you even noticed me. I was the fucking thorn in your side before I became the good son. So fuck it. I want to destroy you. I want to rip down the statue of you. I want to burn the home you live in to the fucking ground. I want to tarnish everything thing you have ever accomplished just to rebuild it as my own. I deserve it.”
“I am not a lap dog. I am not an attack dog. I am not the most loyal. I am not the good son. I am Dean fucking Harper. And I am a monster of my own making. And I am going to beat you this time, Angel.”
“Because I fucking can. And everyone is going to fucking see that I am not just as good as you but better.”
Dean smirks.
“And I’m going to take your belts, your reputation, not because it’s owed to me. But simply because I WANT to.”
The camera feed ends.