Post by Dean Harper on Jul 23, 2023 1:28:15 GMT
The camera comes on to Dean sitting with legs across the arms of the throne once more.
“Here is what I love about having a world title. It’s not the money, though it helps. It’s not the extra PR work. It’s not the photos. It’s not just the smell of leather and gold. This is when people come out of the woodwork. Where half the company tries not to make eye contact with me the rest of the time the moment the gold is in my hands they all pop out. Everyone embraces the dark side of themselves as they look at my face next to the gold and tell themselves I don’t deserve it. That they could have it if they were given a shot.” Dean laughs. “I mean it’s like walking into a field and shooting a gun. It draws both the sheep and the wolves.”
“But we all know who the sheep are, don’t we? We all know who doesn’t stand a fucking chance of winning this. The jokes and the failures. The old men chasing glory one last time. And then there are the wolves. My favorite prey.” Dean licks his teeth.
“Because the truth is hunger is what keeps you alive. Hunger to get to the top and destroy anyone who stands in your way is the only way to win this match. Soft words and kind feelings work for getting a title shot, sure. But winning the roulette? That only comes from not giving a single solitary fuck about holding back. Embrace the animal and the beast. It’s the only way to get out alive with me.”
“The unworthy. The weak. The ingrates and the prey don’t deserve to be in that ring with me. They don’t deserve to be in this company. Forget those silly morals and embrace notoriety. When the monster gets to have its day. So come at me with everything you’ve got, I’m hungry.”
Dean had run with Tim a couple of times. They’d met at the autism parents met up he’d taken Damien to a few months back. Tim was married to a nice influencer or was it a youtube content creator? They had three kids together and Damien had a few playdates. Dean wouldn’t consider him a friend. But it was routine enough that if Warren went through Dean’s phone or checked his location it wouldn’t have been out of the normal realm.
Normally their conversations were about their kids or a podcast Tim was listening to. Today… Dean had asked his advice.
“Wait…” Tim leaned against the tree on the path to catch his breath, “He called Damien your son? Not ‘our’ son. But your?”
“Like am I crazy for feeling like that’s a big deal?” Dean asked.
“Have you been keeping him from spending time with Damien?” Tim pulled out his water bottle and poured some on his head to cool down.
“No! Like, do I go out of my way to cater time for them and set up events just for the two of them? No. I make time for our son. I prioritize his well-being and I go out of my way to try not to be the monster at home. Warren can come or not. He usually choices not.”
“Interesting.” Tim nodded.
“And like… he hates my family. I thought it was the whole Blake vs Kane thing. But I thought we’d moved past that. I thought I made it clear enough. All I’ve ever wanted from anyone was love and support. The shit we never had as kids. The stuff I promised Max Damien would always have.” Dean breathed hard. “But it’s not enough. Distancing myself from people I’ve fucked or people I thought about fucking. Stepping away from the ring. We were happy. Things were going well. Then he started to remember more and… it fell apart.”
“You feel like he changed?”
“I think he’s unhappy and blaming me for it. Resenting me for it. Blaming Damien for it.” Dean leaned against the railing on the path, “And I’m not sure what to do about that. At least if he was fucking someone else I’d know what to do.”
“Divorce.”
“He hates it with me. I can feel how unhappy he is all the time. But He is too fucking weak to ask me to let him go. Like an adult. So He stews and he whines. And He resents me and he resents Damien because life didn’t go his way. Because he’s not where your father was at his age. I want to give him dignity. I want to empower him to just come out and ask for it himself. if he is as unhappy as he acts.”
“Not trying to tell you how to handle the marriage problem right now. I mean if he cheated. The answer would be divorce.”
“Mmm, yeah. That’s probably easier than finding someplace to dispose of the body.” Dean smiled like it was a joke, and Tim laughed like he believed him.
“You’ve done the whole counseling thing?”
“No. Warren freaked out when I mentioned it. I’m overreacting. There’s nothing wrong with our marriage. I’m being crazy. He’s already seeing a shrink and I’m seeing like three. Why add another?”
“And he brought up you going back to work?”
“Not just that I went back to work. That I didn’t pick him to come back with me. He’d never mentioned wanting to go back. And yeah, maybe I should have asked. But it’s not like he was cleared anyway.” Dean stretched his legs while he was waiting for Tim to recover.
“Don’t take this the wrong way…”
“Say it.”
“This sounds Toxic.”
“Like, we’ve always been a little fucked up. I liked that about us. His hot and cold a lot. He’d be all over me one minute and hate me the next. He’d disappear and then come back obsessive. I don’t have friends because he’d get super insecure. I’ve hanged, a lot for him. And I know equal partners shouldn’t change blah blah blah. But I love him, I was willing to do anything to make it work. But I’m just so tired now.”
“It sounds like you are both unhappy then. Why do you think it’s coming to a head now?”
“I don’t know. When you love someone you love them all. Assault charges and all.”
“That’s how you get a documentary made about your murder.”
Dean laughed, “But you see why I wanted to talk to you. Off the record or whatever.”
“Do you think he still loves you?”
“Honestly…when this switch flipped…I think he stopped loving me like he used to. I’m sure he loves part of me. But it’s clearly not as much as he used to. I honestly thought we’d go back to where we used to be when he got his shit together. Instead, I get a third different Warren. My least favorite version.” Dean looked up at the sky, “I’m Dean fucking Harper. I don’t just run when shit gets hard usually I double down. But knowing how unhappy it is makes it hard.”
“You wanted my professional opinion.”
“One of the reasons I asked you out here.”
“People have gotten divorced for less valid reasons. The house is in his name. You both kept your finances separated and he never legally adopted Damien. Honestly, yeah, I think it could be a rather clean-cut process. But I wouldn't file until you are ready to actually serve him the papers. Legitimately serve them. Not have someone deliver them on a Jigsaw tricycle on a wrestling show. Private. Damien is young but there is no reason to make him able to find clips on youtube ten years from now to see how this divorce went down. Specifically, if your assumption about his autism is a factor in Warren’s resentment.”
“Would representing me if it comes to that be a conflict of interest?”
“Why? Because Sasha does celebrity gossip on youtube?”
“Because I’ve been to your house.”
“No. Honestly, I know you can afford my rates. If you do go forward I will be adding this time to the bill.”
“Thanks. I’m not set on it yet. Just…wanted my options.”
“Course. Though I may still bill you.”
Dean laughs, “Yeah, bill me.”
“Terella have we fought before? I think it’s been since… the tag team thing hasn’t it? When you were teamed with Brooklyn. And you said you were going to knock me the fuck out for hurting her poor little feelings? Mm, that and the roulette..” Dean tapped his chin as he thought, “That might be it. I’m not sure.”
“I was hoping for another little one-on-one time with you. Really see if you could back up all those things you say when you think no one is listening. All the big talk about being the best motherfucker in the room. I really do want to see what you could do to me. I get all tingly just thinking about it.” Dean laughed.
“Because you are something to be feared, big boy. I know that. You know that. Only idiots don’t. So throw everything you got at me and I won’t back down. That’s a fucking promise. Honesty on the table big boy? I am looking forward to putting your throat under my boot. I am looking forward to leaving you a bloody mess inside that ring. I do want to fuck you up.” Dean leans back on the throne, “Not because of anything you’ve said. I’ve had worse said to me by better. No offense.”
“But after beating my father? Yeah, I want to fight a big motherfucker. I want to face a wolf. I want to test my newfound position back on top against 7 feet of homegrown big man. I want it. I want it bad. So let’s not play any games.” Dean swung to sitting correctly in the throne and looking directly at the camera, “I want all of it. All of i. Come at me with everything you have. EVERYTHING. No half-ass bullshit. Unload all your impulses. Let the intrusive thoughts win. I want it all.”
Dean winks, “And when I kick your ass I want you to remember how I asked for it all. This title, this journey I went on to get it. The relationships I’ve ruined to get back the world title? You are going to have to kill me to take it from me. I’ve worked too damn hard to just let a sheep take it. To prove you are the wolf. Tear my throat out.”
“Here is what I love about having a world title. It’s not the money, though it helps. It’s not the extra PR work. It’s not the photos. It’s not just the smell of leather and gold. This is when people come out of the woodwork. Where half the company tries not to make eye contact with me the rest of the time the moment the gold is in my hands they all pop out. Everyone embraces the dark side of themselves as they look at my face next to the gold and tell themselves I don’t deserve it. That they could have it if they were given a shot.” Dean laughs. “I mean it’s like walking into a field and shooting a gun. It draws both the sheep and the wolves.”
“But we all know who the sheep are, don’t we? We all know who doesn’t stand a fucking chance of winning this. The jokes and the failures. The old men chasing glory one last time. And then there are the wolves. My favorite prey.” Dean licks his teeth.
“Because the truth is hunger is what keeps you alive. Hunger to get to the top and destroy anyone who stands in your way is the only way to win this match. Soft words and kind feelings work for getting a title shot, sure. But winning the roulette? That only comes from not giving a single solitary fuck about holding back. Embrace the animal and the beast. It’s the only way to get out alive with me.”
“The unworthy. The weak. The ingrates and the prey don’t deserve to be in that ring with me. They don’t deserve to be in this company. Forget those silly morals and embrace notoriety. When the monster gets to have its day. So come at me with everything you’ve got, I’m hungry.”
Dean had run with Tim a couple of times. They’d met at the autism parents met up he’d taken Damien to a few months back. Tim was married to a nice influencer or was it a youtube content creator? They had three kids together and Damien had a few playdates. Dean wouldn’t consider him a friend. But it was routine enough that if Warren went through Dean’s phone or checked his location it wouldn’t have been out of the normal realm.
Normally their conversations were about their kids or a podcast Tim was listening to. Today… Dean had asked his advice.
“Wait…” Tim leaned against the tree on the path to catch his breath, “He called Damien your son? Not ‘our’ son. But your?”
“Like am I crazy for feeling like that’s a big deal?” Dean asked.
“Have you been keeping him from spending time with Damien?” Tim pulled out his water bottle and poured some on his head to cool down.
“No! Like, do I go out of my way to cater time for them and set up events just for the two of them? No. I make time for our son. I prioritize his well-being and I go out of my way to try not to be the monster at home. Warren can come or not. He usually choices not.”
“Interesting.” Tim nodded.
“And like… he hates my family. I thought it was the whole Blake vs Kane thing. But I thought we’d moved past that. I thought I made it clear enough. All I’ve ever wanted from anyone was love and support. The shit we never had as kids. The stuff I promised Max Damien would always have.” Dean breathed hard. “But it’s not enough. Distancing myself from people I’ve fucked or people I thought about fucking. Stepping away from the ring. We were happy. Things were going well. Then he started to remember more and… it fell apart.”
“You feel like he changed?”
“I think he’s unhappy and blaming me for it. Resenting me for it. Blaming Damien for it.” Dean leaned against the railing on the path, “And I’m not sure what to do about that. At least if he was fucking someone else I’d know what to do.”
“Divorce.”
“He hates it with me. I can feel how unhappy he is all the time. But He is too fucking weak to ask me to let him go. Like an adult. So He stews and he whines. And He resents me and he resents Damien because life didn’t go his way. Because he’s not where your father was at his age. I want to give him dignity. I want to empower him to just come out and ask for it himself. if he is as unhappy as he acts.”
“Not trying to tell you how to handle the marriage problem right now. I mean if he cheated. The answer would be divorce.”
“Mmm, yeah. That’s probably easier than finding someplace to dispose of the body.” Dean smiled like it was a joke, and Tim laughed like he believed him.
“You’ve done the whole counseling thing?”
“No. Warren freaked out when I mentioned it. I’m overreacting. There’s nothing wrong with our marriage. I’m being crazy. He’s already seeing a shrink and I’m seeing like three. Why add another?”
“And he brought up you going back to work?”
“Not just that I went back to work. That I didn’t pick him to come back with me. He’d never mentioned wanting to go back. And yeah, maybe I should have asked. But it’s not like he was cleared anyway.” Dean stretched his legs while he was waiting for Tim to recover.
“Don’t take this the wrong way…”
“Say it.”
“This sounds Toxic.”
“Like, we’ve always been a little fucked up. I liked that about us. His hot and cold a lot. He’d be all over me one minute and hate me the next. He’d disappear and then come back obsessive. I don’t have friends because he’d get super insecure. I’ve hanged, a lot for him. And I know equal partners shouldn’t change blah blah blah. But I love him, I was willing to do anything to make it work. But I’m just so tired now.”
“It sounds like you are both unhappy then. Why do you think it’s coming to a head now?”
“I don’t know. When you love someone you love them all. Assault charges and all.”
“That’s how you get a documentary made about your murder.”
Dean laughed, “But you see why I wanted to talk to you. Off the record or whatever.”
“Do you think he still loves you?”
“Honestly…when this switch flipped…I think he stopped loving me like he used to. I’m sure he loves part of me. But it’s clearly not as much as he used to. I honestly thought we’d go back to where we used to be when he got his shit together. Instead, I get a third different Warren. My least favorite version.” Dean looked up at the sky, “I’m Dean fucking Harper. I don’t just run when shit gets hard usually I double down. But knowing how unhappy it is makes it hard.”
“You wanted my professional opinion.”
“One of the reasons I asked you out here.”
“People have gotten divorced for less valid reasons. The house is in his name. You both kept your finances separated and he never legally adopted Damien. Honestly, yeah, I think it could be a rather clean-cut process. But I wouldn't file until you are ready to actually serve him the papers. Legitimately serve them. Not have someone deliver them on a Jigsaw tricycle on a wrestling show. Private. Damien is young but there is no reason to make him able to find clips on youtube ten years from now to see how this divorce went down. Specifically, if your assumption about his autism is a factor in Warren’s resentment.”
“Would representing me if it comes to that be a conflict of interest?”
“Why? Because Sasha does celebrity gossip on youtube?”
“Because I’ve been to your house.”
“No. Honestly, I know you can afford my rates. If you do go forward I will be adding this time to the bill.”
“Thanks. I’m not set on it yet. Just…wanted my options.”
“Course. Though I may still bill you.”
Dean laughs, “Yeah, bill me.”
“Terella have we fought before? I think it’s been since… the tag team thing hasn’t it? When you were teamed with Brooklyn. And you said you were going to knock me the fuck out for hurting her poor little feelings? Mm, that and the roulette..” Dean tapped his chin as he thought, “That might be it. I’m not sure.”
“I was hoping for another little one-on-one time with you. Really see if you could back up all those things you say when you think no one is listening. All the big talk about being the best motherfucker in the room. I really do want to see what you could do to me. I get all tingly just thinking about it.” Dean laughed.
“Because you are something to be feared, big boy. I know that. You know that. Only idiots don’t. So throw everything you got at me and I won’t back down. That’s a fucking promise. Honesty on the table big boy? I am looking forward to putting your throat under my boot. I am looking forward to leaving you a bloody mess inside that ring. I do want to fuck you up.” Dean leans back on the throne, “Not because of anything you’ve said. I’ve had worse said to me by better. No offense.”
“But after beating my father? Yeah, I want to fight a big motherfucker. I want to face a wolf. I want to test my newfound position back on top against 7 feet of homegrown big man. I want it. I want it bad. So let’s not play any games.” Dean swung to sitting correctly in the throne and looking directly at the camera, “I want all of it. All of i. Come at me with everything you have. EVERYTHING. No half-ass bullshit. Unload all your impulses. Let the intrusive thoughts win. I want it all.”
Dean winks, “And when I kick your ass I want you to remember how I asked for it all. This title, this journey I went on to get it. The relationships I’ve ruined to get back the world title? You are going to have to kill me to take it from me. I’ve worked too damn hard to just let a sheep take it. To prove you are the wolf. Tear my throat out.”