Post by HIJOU on Oct 1, 2023 21:36:37 GMT
‘Maria!’
‘Ah!’
In hindsight, perhaps it had been foolish of Miss Maria Iniesta to believe she was about to get through a week of TV without having to spend time with Hijou. The plastic bottle the poor broadcaster had pressed to her lips flies out of her grip, sending water spilling all over her, and that’s to say nothing of the startlement-induced choking Maria now finds herself a victim of.
When she finally manages to recover she’s met, of course, by the sound of Hijou’s laughter.
‘Jeez, stop being so dramatic.’ The pint-sized psycho scolds, smiling with amusement so poorly hidden one could wonder whether she was making an attempt at all. ‘Looks like I gave you a bit of a scare.’
Perhaps it was because of how unpleasant Maria found Hijou to be around, but she thinks it quite understandable that having someone suddenly scream your name whilst administering an (admittedly loose) choke-hold from behind results in being frightened. That is surely a normal reaction to the circumstances, not that it dissuades her tormentress’ teasing.
‘Ah!’ Hijou mimics, snickering to herself. ‘Did you think you were being legitimately attacked?’ Maria can manage no more than a small nod, which elicits only further laughter. ‘Well, you weren’t, so be grateful I guess.’ She shrugs. ‘I’m ready for my interview now.’
There’s a moment of hesitation as Hijou stares at Maria, and Maria stares right back at her. You don’t have to be particularly gifted in the art of perception to recognise the trepidation in Iniesta’s eyes, the way they flicker with anxiety.
‘Okay, look.’ Hijou folds her arms. ‘I’m in a pretty good mood tonight, so here’s the deal. You avoid saying anything utterly stupid, and I’ll take it easy on you today. Okay?’
Maria weighs the proposal up for a moment. Realistically, she knows that her options are limited; refusing to interview Hijou is unlikely to turn out well for her, and besides, it is her job…
She sighs. Hopefully Hijou sticks to her word.
‘Okay.’
She and Hijou now stand in front of one of the standard interview sections backstage, a brick wall with the IWF logo and various other pieces of iconography plastered all over it. Hijou flashes the camera a smile; she could have taken exception to the rather unenthusiastic manner of Maria’s announcement, but it brings her a great deal of satisfaction knowing that the broadcaster is so terrified of her that it is impacting her work. Excellent indeed.
‘Hijou, you uh… you said you’re in a good mood?’
‘Wow, I did say that. I assume you wanna know why? Sure. Y’know, after the fancy latin battle royale, I was really pissed. Trust me, it is a good thing I didn’t see you around Maria.’ She chuckles good-naturedly, though there would have been nothing good-natured about that interaction if it had come to pass, be assured. ‘I got so close to winning that stupid match, and then I slip off an apron and suddenly it’s over? Ugh.’
Maria’s not sure you can classify being spiked on your head as ‘slipping’, but she decides not to give voice to that particular thought.
‘I was furious, and then… I saw that tonight I get to get my hands on that lucky idiot, Nick Knight.’ She throws the camera a wave. ‘Hey Nicky. Before I head out there tonight and make you choke on your own blood, there’s a few things I want to say about you, because damn you’ve certainly had a couple things to say about me in the past!’ She motions to Maria with her hand. ‘Maria, remind us.’
‘Wh-what…?’
‘Remind us what that creep said about me before the battle royale.’
Maria bristles, unsure whether this is a trap or not. ‘You’re… you’re not going to act like I… like I’m the one saying it, right? If I just repeat what Nick said?’
Hijou chuckles, shrugging. ‘Tempting, but not tonight. Glad to see you’re getting sharper though. Now go on. I’m not going to choke the messenger, or whatever.’
‘Well… Nick Knight called you a… “shorter, lighter, and way less talented version of ITAMI”.’
‘Right, right, and ITAMI was also in that match, wasn’t she?’
‘Yes.’
‘And I’m struggling to remember, but who dumped her ass out of the ring?’
‘You did.’
‘You’re damn right!’ Hijou beams with pride, recalling fondly the way she’d blinded ITAMI with a fistful of glitter, before cracking her in the head with a beautifully executed Overhead Kick. Truly, one of the finer feelings in wrestling. ‘Shorter, sure. Lighter, yep. But less talented?’ She scoffs. ‘That judgement was about as well considered as your fucking haircut, Nicky.’
Maria fails to suppress an unimpressed frown.
‘What?’ Hijou questions, before rolling her eyes. ‘Yeah, it was a cheap jab, but so was arbitrarily comparing me to the only other Japanese bitch in the match.’ She shrugs. ‘The point is, I get the feeling Nick doesn’t understand how much of a threat I am, and trust me, that’s a really stupid position to be in.’
‘Sure, I bet Nick has his eyes on the Invictus Championship. That’s natural, he just became number one contender, after all. I bet he has his eyes on Ally Calaway. Tiny problem with that, Nick?’ She addresses the camera directly once more. ‘You don’t use those eyes to focus on me tonight, and you might just lose one! You know, the very best case scenario for tonight, as far as I’m concerned, is you picking up some grisly injury.’
She offers up her palms as she shakes her head. ‘Of course, I wouldn’t ever go out there with the intention of causing more harm than necessary, but you know how this stuff goes. Maybe the Overhead rattles your brain a little too much, or maybe it leaves your skull splintering in the first place. Perhaps the Ripcord dislocates your jaw. Hell, maybe I bite you so bad you get an infection!’
‘Hijou-’ Maria interjects, frowning. ‘Isn’t all of this going a little far?’
Hijou looks at Maria. Maria looks at Hijou. Both of them know in an instant that Iniesta has made a mistake, and the glare in Hijou’s eyes make apparent her disdain for the interruption.
‘Don’t be such a fucking idiot Maria.’ She chastises. ‘I’m speaking in hypotheticals!’
‘Right…’
‘The point, you brainless moron, is that I’m walking into this match with every intent on kicking the shit out of Nick Knight. I am focused. I’m going to de-legitimise his status as challenger for the Invictus Title before he’s even had the chance to fuck it up for himself!’
‘Tonight’s match isn’t about anything other than that, and if you don’t recognise it, you’re screwed, Nicky. You’re going to sit in that grungy, dark room of yours next week and recognise me.’
She scowls. ‘By the way, quit it with sitting around on that dumb electric chair. Nobody believes that shit’s plugged in, you edgy weirdo.’
‘Oh, and one final thing?’
‘Seconds after your little comparison between me and ITAMI you then seemed to take issue with my theme music. Well.’ She chuckles, shaking her head. ‘You’re gonna really hate it when I’m done with you today…’
‘I’m gonna Da-Da-Dance over your comatose body, bitch!’
‘Ah!’
In hindsight, perhaps it had been foolish of Miss Maria Iniesta to believe she was about to get through a week of TV without having to spend time with Hijou. The plastic bottle the poor broadcaster had pressed to her lips flies out of her grip, sending water spilling all over her, and that’s to say nothing of the startlement-induced choking Maria now finds herself a victim of.
When she finally manages to recover she’s met, of course, by the sound of Hijou’s laughter.
‘Jeez, stop being so dramatic.’ The pint-sized psycho scolds, smiling with amusement so poorly hidden one could wonder whether she was making an attempt at all. ‘Looks like I gave you a bit of a scare.’
Perhaps it was because of how unpleasant Maria found Hijou to be around, but she thinks it quite understandable that having someone suddenly scream your name whilst administering an (admittedly loose) choke-hold from behind results in being frightened. That is surely a normal reaction to the circumstances, not that it dissuades her tormentress’ teasing.
‘Ah!’ Hijou mimics, snickering to herself. ‘Did you think you were being legitimately attacked?’ Maria can manage no more than a small nod, which elicits only further laughter. ‘Well, you weren’t, so be grateful I guess.’ She shrugs. ‘I’m ready for my interview now.’
There’s a moment of hesitation as Hijou stares at Maria, and Maria stares right back at her. You don’t have to be particularly gifted in the art of perception to recognise the trepidation in Iniesta’s eyes, the way they flicker with anxiety.
‘Okay, look.’ Hijou folds her arms. ‘I’m in a pretty good mood tonight, so here’s the deal. You avoid saying anything utterly stupid, and I’ll take it easy on you today. Okay?’
Maria weighs the proposal up for a moment. Realistically, she knows that her options are limited; refusing to interview Hijou is unlikely to turn out well for her, and besides, it is her job…
She sighs. Hopefully Hijou sticks to her word.
‘Okay.’
*****
‘Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome at this time, my guest… Hijou.’ As far as intros go it’s fine, but certainly not Maria’s best work. She finds herself struggling to put her all into it at the moment, given her present company.
She and Hijou now stand in front of one of the standard interview sections backstage, a brick wall with the IWF logo and various other pieces of iconography plastered all over it. Hijou flashes the camera a smile; she could have taken exception to the rather unenthusiastic manner of Maria’s announcement, but it brings her a great deal of satisfaction knowing that the broadcaster is so terrified of her that it is impacting her work. Excellent indeed.
‘Hijou, you uh… you said you’re in a good mood?’
‘Wow, I did say that. I assume you wanna know why? Sure. Y’know, after the fancy latin battle royale, I was really pissed. Trust me, it is a good thing I didn’t see you around Maria.’ She chuckles good-naturedly, though there would have been nothing good-natured about that interaction if it had come to pass, be assured. ‘I got so close to winning that stupid match, and then I slip off an apron and suddenly it’s over? Ugh.’
Maria’s not sure you can classify being spiked on your head as ‘slipping’, but she decides not to give voice to that particular thought.
‘I was furious, and then… I saw that tonight I get to get my hands on that lucky idiot, Nick Knight.’ She throws the camera a wave. ‘Hey Nicky. Before I head out there tonight and make you choke on your own blood, there’s a few things I want to say about you, because damn you’ve certainly had a couple things to say about me in the past!’ She motions to Maria with her hand. ‘Maria, remind us.’
‘Wh-what…?’
‘Remind us what that creep said about me before the battle royale.’
Maria bristles, unsure whether this is a trap or not. ‘You’re… you’re not going to act like I… like I’m the one saying it, right? If I just repeat what Nick said?’
Hijou chuckles, shrugging. ‘Tempting, but not tonight. Glad to see you’re getting sharper though. Now go on. I’m not going to choke the messenger, or whatever.’
‘Well… Nick Knight called you a… “shorter, lighter, and way less talented version of ITAMI”.’
‘Right, right, and ITAMI was also in that match, wasn’t she?’
‘Yes.’
‘And I’m struggling to remember, but who dumped her ass out of the ring?’
‘You did.’
‘You’re damn right!’ Hijou beams with pride, recalling fondly the way she’d blinded ITAMI with a fistful of glitter, before cracking her in the head with a beautifully executed Overhead Kick. Truly, one of the finer feelings in wrestling. ‘Shorter, sure. Lighter, yep. But less talented?’ She scoffs. ‘That judgement was about as well considered as your fucking haircut, Nicky.’
Maria fails to suppress an unimpressed frown.
‘What?’ Hijou questions, before rolling her eyes. ‘Yeah, it was a cheap jab, but so was arbitrarily comparing me to the only other Japanese bitch in the match.’ She shrugs. ‘The point is, I get the feeling Nick doesn’t understand how much of a threat I am, and trust me, that’s a really stupid position to be in.’
‘Sure, I bet Nick has his eyes on the Invictus Championship. That’s natural, he just became number one contender, after all. I bet he has his eyes on Ally Calaway. Tiny problem with that, Nick?’ She addresses the camera directly once more. ‘You don’t use those eyes to focus on me tonight, and you might just lose one! You know, the very best case scenario for tonight, as far as I’m concerned, is you picking up some grisly injury.’
She offers up her palms as she shakes her head. ‘Of course, I wouldn’t ever go out there with the intention of causing more harm than necessary, but you know how this stuff goes. Maybe the Overhead rattles your brain a little too much, or maybe it leaves your skull splintering in the first place. Perhaps the Ripcord dislocates your jaw. Hell, maybe I bite you so bad you get an infection!’
‘Hijou-’ Maria interjects, frowning. ‘Isn’t all of this going a little far?’
Hijou looks at Maria. Maria looks at Hijou. Both of them know in an instant that Iniesta has made a mistake, and the glare in Hijou’s eyes make apparent her disdain for the interruption.
‘Don’t be such a fucking idiot Maria.’ She chastises. ‘I’m speaking in hypotheticals!’
‘Right…’
‘The point, you brainless moron, is that I’m walking into this match with every intent on kicking the shit out of Nick Knight. I am focused. I’m going to de-legitimise his status as challenger for the Invictus Title before he’s even had the chance to fuck it up for himself!’
‘Tonight’s match isn’t about anything other than that, and if you don’t recognise it, you’re screwed, Nicky. You’re going to sit in that grungy, dark room of yours next week and recognise me.’
She scowls. ‘By the way, quit it with sitting around on that dumb electric chair. Nobody believes that shit’s plugged in, you edgy weirdo.’
‘Oh, and one final thing?’
‘Seconds after your little comparison between me and ITAMI you then seemed to take issue with my theme music. Well.’ She chuckles, shaking her head. ‘You’re gonna really hate it when I’m done with you today…’
‘I’m gonna Da-Da-Dance over your comatose body, bitch!’
Well howdy there pardner.