Happy Thanksgiving

[Nick Knight]

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

{Nick Knight is sitting in his electric chair dressed as Santa, complete with his beautiful blonde wife Cin sitting on his knee. ‘The Hollywood Butcher’ is wearing a huge smile as he begins talking.}

I know that song is all about the holidays, and trust me I love me some holidays. I love getting the whole family together to eat a great big meal and exchanging presents. Trust me, there are few things better than sitting around the tree on Christmas morning and watching my son’s eyes light up as he opens his presents. Most importantly is New Year’s Eve, the night that has completely changed my life the past three years, and hopefully it will continue change my life for many years to come.

{Cin hops down off of his knee, and he smacks her on the ass playfully making her laugh.}

This time I’m not talking about Christmas or New Year’s Eve. No, I’m talking about Survival of the Fittest and what is truly the most important match on the IWF calendar, The Extinction Event. There just isn’t another match anywhere in the world of professional wrestling like it because every championship can change in the blink of an eye. The company as we know it can be burned to the ground just like that.

{Knight snaps his fingers.}

That’s what the match should be, but you take one look over the two teams, and it’s easy to see that not a goddamn thing is going to change. It absolutely pisses me off that no matter which side wins the match, it’s just going to be more of the same cancers passing championships around like they’re a great big bowl of Thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The Extinction Event should be the ultimate cure for cancer, but instead it’s just going to be the same motherfuckers trying to tear this business apart from the inside out.

There is no worse example of this that Alexandra Callaway, a woman that is only loyal to herself and couldn’t give two shits about IWF. This bitch thinks that just because she is the Invictus Champion that she can do whatever the fuck she pleases because it means she’s the big swinging dick around here, but the truth of the matter is that she’s worse than the big pile of dog shit I stepped in jogging across Boston Common this morning.

It could be that I’m just getting cranky in my old age, but a champion shouldn’t be some little girl playing dress up with a pretty gold belt. They should be someone that you can count on to be the face of your company, which Alexandra has shown the entire damn world that she’s not will to be. I mean, she’s been Invictus Champion for three fucking months and the most noteworthy thing that she’s done is refuse to wrestle me at Halloween Hell.

Things are going to change after the Extinction Event because I am going to become the Invictus Champion and finally give it the respect that it fucking deserves. Then I am going to make sure that Alexandra will never hold another belt hostage because I’m going to end her fucking career. I am going to show her exactly how bad she fucked up when she decided that another company was more important that IWF by making her loyal to a wheelchair the rest of her goddamn life. I am going to drive her skull first into every hard surface that I can find until she spends the rest of her miserable days being fed through a fucking tube.

Call me a fucking psychopath for going into a match wanting to end someone’s career, and I won’t deny it. I’ve made it pretty fucking clear from the very first day I was in IWF that I’m touched in the head. Time and again I have shown the extremes that I am willing to go to win a match, and I have left a pile of broken bodies in my wake. That’s why I am the only person in the entire fucking world that is willing to do whatever it takes to rid IWF of Alexandra Callaway once and for all.

It would be easy for me to say that I don’t fucking care about anyone else in this match, but things aren’t like they used to be in the Extinction Event. In the old days the only thing that I had to worry about was beating Alexandra Callaway, but now I have to keep an eye on all seven people not named Nick Knight. I have to worry that the people on the other side of the ring aren’t picking off my team one by one, but I also have to make damn sure that there isn’t a weak link on my own team.

This elimination tag team format can be pretty fucking nerve racking because you never know if you’re going to be in control of your own fate. I know that last year I could barely sleep a fucking week the entire week leading up to Survival of the Fittest because I didn’t know if I could trust Angel and Wraith to have my back. I was in the middle of the greatest hot streak in the history of this company, and I had to just trust two of the people that I have the most in the entire fucking world.

This year is completely different, because I know that I can trust my teammates to have my back. I know how fucked up that sounds because of how much I despise Angel Blake, but you don’t have the battles that we have had over the past couple of years without gaining a man’s respect. I know for a fact that every time that he’s inside the ring he wants to win the match, especially when there is championship gold on the line.

Warren Harper is one of the few people in this business that I honestly consider a friend. Two years ago we were thrown together as a makeshift team for the Tag Team World Cup, and we just instantly gelled. It was like we had known each other for years, and the chemistry was so strong that we damn near won the entire fucking tournament. This sport is so fucking cut-throat that you’re a fucking idiot if you go and burn bridges with a friend like that, and I hope that Warren knows that I am willing to go to Hell and back for him.

Why else would I be willing to ignore my feelings towards Dean Harper to be the officiant at their wedding. Seeing my friend happy was way more important to me than any grudge that I might have with the family of the man that he loves. I’m sorry that things didn’t work out for them, simply because I know how much divorce can shake you to your very core. I also know what it’s like to wake up every fucking day and fight another battle in the psychic wars, and I hope that Warren knows that if he ever needs anything I’m only a phone call away.

The only wild card on my team is Virginia because she’s a total stranger to me. We’ve never shared the ring, I’ve never talked to her in catering, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never stood at a monitor and watched one of her matches. She is just a stranger to me, but I can look at her resume and know that she can handle herself between those ropes. I mean, you aren’t both an Iron Maiden and two time Imperial Diamond Champion by accident.

{Film of the various members of the champions team begins to flicker on the window behind Nick.}

When you take time to study the two teams that are going to be standing across from one another you realize that they’re going to be like staring into fun house mirrors. Every single person defending their championship is exactly like the person trying to take it away, except for some small difference.

Angel and Wraith are exactly the same, two very talented professional wrestlers that feel the need to dress up like a KISS tribute band every single time they come to the ring. There year plus reign as World Tag Team Champions prove that they are of a like mind whenever they are inside the ring. Hell, they even love the same women differently, unless you believe in that whole Oedipus nonsense. The only thing that is different is when Angel looks into that mirror he sees a man twenty years his junior with his entire life ahead of him, while Wraith has to see himself in the twilight of his career.

Brooklyn and Virginia are the same in that every time they step between those ropes they want to knock your fucking head off with one of their strikes. You’re never going to see a catch-as-can classic when they’re in a match, but you’re going to see one Hell of a fight. You can also bet your ass that when the lights are the brightest they’re going to up their games to a whole new level, which is why they’re names are written all over the record books. The only real difference between the two ladies are the color of their hair.

Then we have Dean and Warren, two halves of the same whole because whether they know it they’ll be forever linked. Most people think that divorce is an end, the truth is that it’s a new beginning; but people never want to think about how the other person helped to get you where you are today. Love them or hate them they are a piece of you, and you are a piece of them, whether you like it or not. So, when they look across the ring to see their ex I guarantee that they are going to see themselves.

{Nick pauses to gather his thoughts, and lets out a long sigh.}

We have three sets of people that just one step to the left or the right from being the exact same person, and then you have you and me, Alexandra. We couldn’t be more different if we tried, and trust me I would everything in my power not to be like you. That’s why when you are running around from promotion trying to get someone to just pay attention to you, I will be here in IWF. When you are going from company to company winning championships that people don’t give a fuck about because you think that the championship makes the person, I will be the person busting his ass to the make the Invictus Championship actually fucking mean something.

Alexandra, IWF is far from a perfect promotion, and I’ve witnessed some pretty fucked up shit over the past three years. I’ll admit that I was neck deep in some of the worst of it, and I wasn’t always the good guy, but the thing is I’ve never once thought about giving up on this place. You on the other hand, are always going to take the easy way out. You proved that at Halloween Hell by refusing to even show up, and to be honest I’ll be shocked if you have the guts to show up Sunday night.

I hope you prove me wrong, and I see you inside that ring Sunday night, but if I do you’re a fucking moron because I will hurt you Alexandra. That’s why I want you to do me a huge favor and get your family together and have a huge get-together on Thursday. Please really take the time to be thankful for your loved ones, and what they mean to you. Please have a very happy Thanksgiving because it’s going to be your last.

{The scene fades to black.}