Post by Dean Harper on Dec 17, 2023 23:05:50 GMT
The Camera comes on to Dean sitting in front of a decorated Christmas tree with a star on the top.
“This match has been a long time coming. I know it. You know it, Brooklyn. As soon as intergender wrestling was allowed at IWF I knew that you and I would have to settle this sooner or later.” Dean sighs, “You have every right to be mad at me.”
“You think I’m going to make excuses?”
“There was a time I would have. There was a time I would have said I did what I did for the better life it would give Damien. That I was convinced sooner or later Rowan would ask me to sacrifice him. But… the truth is complicated.”
“Max had died. I tried limping through like nothing was wrong. But it hurt too much to be there anymore. Maxine was gone. Warren left me, again. That was the...fourth time he left I think. Either way challenging Roberto Verona to try and finish the mission Rowan had asked us to do. And I fucked up. I failed her. I couldn’t beat him. We were all going to lose our jobs. I couldn’t…I wouldn’t risk losing Damien because I couldn’t provide for him.”
“I picked him over you. I bent the knee because it meant the family was protected, that you all had jobs still. It was my fault, it only made sense to make the sacrifice. I know it doesn’t make it better.”
“There hasn’t been a day that has passed that I don’t regret that choice. That I don’t think I should have done it differently. I love my father. I love the success I’ve had since I left The Pack. But that doesn’t mean I wanted to hurt you, Caleb, Rowan, hell even the lesser members of the family like Jaymat and Xavier. I can’t tell you it was the right choice. Because I don’t know if it was.”
“I wasn’t strong enough anymore. I couldn’t protect the family anymore. I couldn’t protect you anymore. I had spent so much of my time believing I was untouchable that when Max died I…I lost the will for a while.”
“Some of my best memories involved us as a family. I miss the movie nights cuddled up on the couch. I miss the midnight pancake sessions. I miss training together. I miss having someone I could talk to about everything that was happening. I miss you, Brooklyn.”
“You were the little sister I always wanted. And I failed you. Nothing I can do will make that better. I took the last piece any of us had of Maxine and I hid her away. I tried to build a new family… but it fell apart. Because all the things that you and The Pack loved about me makes him sick. But it’s too late. I don’t want to go back to worshiping Rowan. Rowan’s already made clear even if I wanted to that she’d rather flay me alive then let me be that close ever again.”
“Rowan has taken multiple pounds of flesh. Caleb put me in a coma. It’s only right you get your bit in too. Not to say I am going to roll over and let you kill me. I said I understood your anger. l I am not going to just give up.” Dean smiles.
“Just like old times. Prove you deserve it. Kick my fucking ass if you can. Multiple time women’s champion. Rowan’s one true love. The big bad wolf. You want to hurt me? Do it. You want to make me pay? Do it. I’m not gonna take pleasure in beating you but I am certainly going to accept this is what we need to bury the hatchet.”
“Who knows. Maybe this will be the therapy we both need and I can try taking you to Disneyland again? Or you put me in a coma. Either way, sounds like a blast to me.”
You say, "I don't understand, " and I say, "I know you don't"
We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won't
Holiday parties were meant to be something people liked doing. Dean knew Damien had begged that Dean invite Warren over to do some tree decorating, maybe looking at Christmas lights, maybe bake cookies. He’d sent a text to Warren to setup a Christmas for Damien instead. He didn’t lie. He just didn’t want to be in the same room as Warren outside of work if he could help it.
Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light
Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?
Going to the Blake-Docherty Christmas celebration had seemed a decent stop gap. So Damien could get some family time, see Eddie, see everyone that Damien loved. Everyone but Warren. Not with his current mindset Warren would enjoy that Dean made the choice to accept the invitation. But Dean was tired of being an island. He could stand on his own for ever and a day but Damien deserved some loving family memories for Christmas, specifically since the chance this might be the last Christmas Warren would be the other Dad.
I'm getting tired even for a phoenix
Always risin' from the ashes
Mendin' all her gashes
You might just have dealt the final blow
It was meant to take his mind off Warren. It was meant to be a distraction. Something good. Dean had only had to be in the house five minutes before going out to the back porch while Damien socialized so he could sneak another vape to calm his nerves.
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore
For you
'Cause you're losin' me
When he was a child he’d been told that nothing would make him worthy of love. That no one was ever going to love him. That marriage was something good families had. But he was a curse upon his bloodline and destined to a life of unhappiness. A year ago he’d had an engagement ring, he’d moved out of living with his father to give him space to build his own happily ever after.
Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes
How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?
I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick
My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick
And the air is thick with loss and indecision
Now he was in a home that would only make another fight. The choice between his family and Warren. One fight he thought had been settled, reopened because Warren changed his mind again. Every few months Warren was a knew person, and as much Dean had tried to hang on to the whirlwind of Warren he not only felt his grip slipping…he wanted to let go.
I know my pain is such an imposition
Now, you're runnin' down the hallway
And you know what they all say
You don't know what you got until it's gone
He’d promised Max that Damien would have a family. That Damien never have to fight to find someone who loved him. There were people here who loved Damien. Dean was tolerated, loved sometimes even with the professionally complications. But he’d been willing to cut them off to keep Warren. What kind of son did that? What kind of brother?
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore
For you
Just like he’d destroyed The Pack. He almost destroyed this. For Warren. What had Warren ever given up for him? When had Warren sacrificed anything? He’d begged Dean to kill his father, said they’d only be happy once he was dead… and now it was just one more thing Dean did that wasn’t right.
'Cause you're losin' me
'Cause you're losin' me
Stop (stop) 'cause you're losin' me
He checked his phone to see if Warren had replied to the text message to pick up Damien for a Christmas.
My heart won't start anymore ('cause you're losin' me)
My heart won't start anymore ('cause you're losin' me)
How long could we be a sad song
'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?
I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy
And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier
Fighting in only your army
Frontlines, don't you ignore me
I'm the best thing at this party[\i]
Dean wanted to grab his phone and toss it across the yard, smash it on the ground. But instead he put it in his pocket. Why be mad about it anymore? Warren had made his feelings pretty clear on where things laid.
(You're losin' me)
Why was Dean the only one fighting to keep them together? Why was he the only one offer solutions. Had the match felt like therapy. Had it felt good, had Dean, selfishly, hoped it would fix what was wrong if he beat Warren? Sure, but here they were still.
And I wouldn't marry me either
A pathological people pleaser
Who only wanted you to see her
Warren was incapable of being happy. Dean couldn’t make him love him. And maybe the longer Dean thought about it… maybe he’d already stopped loving Warren too. Maybe it hadn’t been the monster talking in the build up. Maybe that…was the last straw. Maybe he had fallen out of love with the love of his life?
And I'm fadin', thinkin'
"Do something, babe, say something" (say something)
"Lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me)
"Choose something, babe, I got nothing (got nothing)
To believe
Unless you're choosin' me"
You're losin' me
Stop (stop, stop), you're losin' me
Stop (stop, stop), you're losin' me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore
“This match has been a long time coming. I know it. You know it, Brooklyn. As soon as intergender wrestling was allowed at IWF I knew that you and I would have to settle this sooner or later.” Dean sighs, “You have every right to be mad at me.”
“You think I’m going to make excuses?”
“There was a time I would have. There was a time I would have said I did what I did for the better life it would give Damien. That I was convinced sooner or later Rowan would ask me to sacrifice him. But… the truth is complicated.”
“Max had died. I tried limping through like nothing was wrong. But it hurt too much to be there anymore. Maxine was gone. Warren left me, again. That was the...fourth time he left I think. Either way challenging Roberto Verona to try and finish the mission Rowan had asked us to do. And I fucked up. I failed her. I couldn’t beat him. We were all going to lose our jobs. I couldn’t…I wouldn’t risk losing Damien because I couldn’t provide for him.”
“I picked him over you. I bent the knee because it meant the family was protected, that you all had jobs still. It was my fault, it only made sense to make the sacrifice. I know it doesn’t make it better.”
“There hasn’t been a day that has passed that I don’t regret that choice. That I don’t think I should have done it differently. I love my father. I love the success I’ve had since I left The Pack. But that doesn’t mean I wanted to hurt you, Caleb, Rowan, hell even the lesser members of the family like Jaymat and Xavier. I can’t tell you it was the right choice. Because I don’t know if it was.”
“I wasn’t strong enough anymore. I couldn’t protect the family anymore. I couldn’t protect you anymore. I had spent so much of my time believing I was untouchable that when Max died I…I lost the will for a while.”
“Some of my best memories involved us as a family. I miss the movie nights cuddled up on the couch. I miss the midnight pancake sessions. I miss training together. I miss having someone I could talk to about everything that was happening. I miss you, Brooklyn.”
“You were the little sister I always wanted. And I failed you. Nothing I can do will make that better. I took the last piece any of us had of Maxine and I hid her away. I tried to build a new family… but it fell apart. Because all the things that you and The Pack loved about me makes him sick. But it’s too late. I don’t want to go back to worshiping Rowan. Rowan’s already made clear even if I wanted to that she’d rather flay me alive then let me be that close ever again.”
“Rowan has taken multiple pounds of flesh. Caleb put me in a coma. It’s only right you get your bit in too. Not to say I am going to roll over and let you kill me. I said I understood your anger. l I am not going to just give up.” Dean smiles.
“Just like old times. Prove you deserve it. Kick my fucking ass if you can. Multiple time women’s champion. Rowan’s one true love. The big bad wolf. You want to hurt me? Do it. You want to make me pay? Do it. I’m not gonna take pleasure in beating you but I am certainly going to accept this is what we need to bury the hatchet.”
“Who knows. Maybe this will be the therapy we both need and I can try taking you to Disneyland again? Or you put me in a coma. Either way, sounds like a blast to me.”
You say, "I don't understand, " and I say, "I know you don't"
We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it won't
Holiday parties were meant to be something people liked doing. Dean knew Damien had begged that Dean invite Warren over to do some tree decorating, maybe looking at Christmas lights, maybe bake cookies. He’d sent a text to Warren to setup a Christmas for Damien instead. He didn’t lie. He just didn’t want to be in the same room as Warren outside of work if he could help it.
Remember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light
Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time
Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?
Going to the Blake-Docherty Christmas celebration had seemed a decent stop gap. So Damien could get some family time, see Eddie, see everyone that Damien loved. Everyone but Warren. Not with his current mindset Warren would enjoy that Dean made the choice to accept the invitation. But Dean was tired of being an island. He could stand on his own for ever and a day but Damien deserved some loving family memories for Christmas, specifically since the chance this might be the last Christmas Warren would be the other Dad.
I'm getting tired even for a phoenix
Always risin' from the ashes
Mendin' all her gashes
You might just have dealt the final blow
It was meant to take his mind off Warren. It was meant to be a distraction. Something good. Dean had only had to be in the house five minutes before going out to the back porch while Damien socialized so he could sneak another vape to calm his nerves.
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore
For you
'Cause you're losin' me
When he was a child he’d been told that nothing would make him worthy of love. That no one was ever going to love him. That marriage was something good families had. But he was a curse upon his bloodline and destined to a life of unhappiness. A year ago he’d had an engagement ring, he’d moved out of living with his father to give him space to build his own happily ever after.
Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes
How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?
I sent you signals and bit my nails down to the quick
My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick
And the air is thick with loss and indecision
Now he was in a home that would only make another fight. The choice between his family and Warren. One fight he thought had been settled, reopened because Warren changed his mind again. Every few months Warren was a knew person, and as much Dean had tried to hang on to the whirlwind of Warren he not only felt his grip slipping…he wanted to let go.
I know my pain is such an imposition
Now, you're runnin' down the hallway
And you know what they all say
You don't know what you got until it's gone
He’d promised Max that Damien would have a family. That Damien never have to fight to find someone who loved him. There were people here who loved Damien. Dean was tolerated, loved sometimes even with the professionally complications. But he’d been willing to cut them off to keep Warren. What kind of son did that? What kind of brother?
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
Stop, you're losin' me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore
For you
Just like he’d destroyed The Pack. He almost destroyed this. For Warren. What had Warren ever given up for him? When had Warren sacrificed anything? He’d begged Dean to kill his father, said they’d only be happy once he was dead… and now it was just one more thing Dean did that wasn’t right.
'Cause you're losin' me
'Cause you're losin' me
Stop (stop) 'cause you're losin' me
He checked his phone to see if Warren had replied to the text message to pick up Damien for a Christmas.
My heart won't start anymore ('cause you're losin' me)
My heart won't start anymore ('cause you're losin' me)
How long could we be a sad song
'Til we were too far gone to bring back to life?
I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy
And all I did was bleed as I tried to be the bravest soldier
Fighting in only your army
Frontlines, don't you ignore me
I'm the best thing at this party[\i]
Dean wanted to grab his phone and toss it across the yard, smash it on the ground. But instead he put it in his pocket. Why be mad about it anymore? Warren had made his feelings pretty clear on where things laid.
(You're losin' me)
Why was Dean the only one fighting to keep them together? Why was he the only one offer solutions. Had the match felt like therapy. Had it felt good, had Dean, selfishly, hoped it would fix what was wrong if he beat Warren? Sure, but here they were still.
And I wouldn't marry me either
A pathological people pleaser
Who only wanted you to see her
Warren was incapable of being happy. Dean couldn’t make him love him. And maybe the longer Dean thought about it… maybe he’d already stopped loving Warren too. Maybe it hadn’t been the monster talking in the build up. Maybe that…was the last straw. Maybe he had fallen out of love with the love of his life?
And I'm fadin', thinkin'
"Do something, babe, say something" (say something)
"Lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me)
"Choose something, babe, I got nothing (got nothing)
To believe
Unless you're choosin' me"
You're losin' me
Stop (stop, stop), you're losin' me
Stop (stop, stop), you're losin' me
I can't find a pulse
My heart won't start anymore
Well howdy there pardner.