Post by Dean Harper on Jan 24, 2024 19:40:00 GMT
Strangers, from strangers into brothers
From brothers into strangers once again
The office was clean slick and black. A few potted plants, degrees on the wall, kid’s art projects, a dozen pictures of Tim, Sasha, and their kids. All of them together, all of them happy. Some candid and some clearly done with a professional flare. A copy of the Christmas card photo dean had on his kitchen counter sat proudly behind Tim as he was going over the details. Even the books on she shelves all looked aesthetically place and color coded. Every detail in here was meant to make a person feel at ease, but Dean did not feel any of those things.
“So with these terms we are pretty well setup for an uncontested no-fault divorce. Should be pretty quick filing if you go through with it.” Tim said casually looking over at Dean as if aware Dean wasn’t listening.
“Are you sure we’ll get a no fault divorce?” Dean asked, it was the easiest method, the least risk of dragging this out longer than it needed to be. “And just because we’re talking about this doesn’t mean it’ll get filed until I sign right?”
We saw the whole world
But I couldn't see the meaning
I couldn't even recognize my friends
“You think Warren is gonna change his tune and suddenly want to stay married?” Tim was clearly annoyed, sitting back in his chair, steeping his fingers. “No offense, But I doubt he’s gonna argue this marriage is working. He refused marriage counseling and you two haven’t talked since you left, right?”
“We text about setting up times for Warren to see Damien.”
“That doesn’t really count, Dean.” Tim shook his head, “What are your main concerns for not filing right now?”
Older, but nothing's any different
Right now feels the same, I wonder why
“...Can he fight me for custody?” Dean asked, looking through the glass to watch Damien in the other room playing with the other kids in the waiting area. This was private. Not even Florence knew they were here. If he was lucky not even the dirtsheets saw him drive into the garage. This was just a conversation. Just preparations.
“He never adopted Damien. We’ve gone over this. The natural parent, has superior rights to custody to their child over all others according to United States law.” Tim said tapping his desk drawing Dean back to the matter at hand. “A “Step Parent” is an honorary title, has no real legal status or standing versus an actual, natural patent and is an “other". After a divorce, the step parent relationship is ended. You can’t ask for child support or force visitation.”
“I don’t want any of his goddamn money.” Dean said defensively.
I wish they told us
It shouldn't take a sickness
Or airplanes falling out the sky
“Maybe you should. One could argue his raise from the midcard of frequent Spike Kane punching bag for a cheap heat to the status he has now is thanks in no small part due to riding your dick to the big kids table.”
“I don’t want his money, Tim.”
“Fine, fine. I’m just saying it wouldn’t be hard to argue you deserve it. At least the combined income from the couple themed merch sales that IWF has made.”
Do I have to die to hear you miss me?
Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye?
I don't wanna act like there's tomorrow
I don't wanna wait to do this one more time
“I have enough money. My merch sales have been fucking record breaking since my return. I’m a piece of shit and a hot mess but people love a mess. But that’s what makes me worries he’d use that to take Damien away.”
“Unless there is good cause why the natural parent should not have custody- Which we’ve already got four psychologists with written testimony to say there isn’t - The Judge has no reason to take custody from you. You’ve been rebuilding friendship like I recommended?”
“You and my therapist, yeah. I’ve been going to family dinners again. Devlin and I are taking the kids to the zoo. I’ve even started going to that Dad’s and Kids group you keep sending me links to.” Dean shrugged.
One more time
One more
“And you already feel less alone, you actually smiled earlier and it reached your eyes. Good, good. I’m your friend and your lawyer. You don’t have to take all my advise, you haven’t yet. But this is good. Building yourself up is a good first step. So besides the custody-”
“What if Damien asks to live with him? Warren’s the fun parent recently. He got Damien a fucking dog and is only around for the fun events while I have to do the actual parenting. He might think Warren is the good parent.”
“Like I keep saying, custody will naturally be awarded to the natural parent.” Tim sighed, “We’ve been doing our due diligence confirming there is no reason for you to lose custody of Damien. We have the therapist whose worked just with Damien confirm you have provided Damien with a loving and safe home. Besides, Damien isn’t really old enough to be considered a ‘Self-aware child’, it would be easier if you let me lean on the autism diagnosis-”
“I’m not going to change my mind on that.”
One more time
One more time
“Regardless, even if he was old enough to be labeled a ‘Self-aware child’ who had strong opinions about custody all he could do was communicate preferences in custody to the judge. It may even, if Warren forces the issue, there may be an opportunity for Damien to discuss his wants with the judge. But it would be a preferences, only considered but not a controlling factor in a custody decision. We are going to be fine. Trust me. We have the teachers confirming Warren never bothered to show up to a conference. We have the center confirming Warren had Damien tested for Autism without your consent.”
“I don’t want Damien’s autism to be treated like a problem.”
“It wont be. But it shows a pattern of behavior. That with the dog and the inviting of the nanny to spend the holidays. We are in a good place here, Dean. He can’t take Damien away from you. If you think he is only building this relationship up with Damien to try and hurt you and get full custody we have a strong case to deny him any rights to see the kid ever again. It gives us the upper hand at the table to offer him the choice to only have visitation or he gets nothing and we can file a restraining order to keep him from ever seeing the kid again.”
I miss you, took time but I admit it
It still hurts even after all these years
And I know that next time, ain't always gonna happen
I gotta say, "I love you" while we're here
“I don’t know if I want to go that far. He’s Damien’s dad-”
“Not biologically or legally. With the way he’s disappeared in the past I strongly recommend supervised visitation once the papers are served, if you decide to go forward with the divorce.” Tim sat forward looking at Dean, “Most of your questions are about custody. Are the reason we are still sitting on not filing this because of Damien? You already got him in therapy. I’m not saying it won't have ramifications. There might be resentment when he gets older. If this goes to trial instead of getting Warren to settle and agree before hand…it will be public record which means everything can be looked up by dirtsheets and Damien when he gets access to a computer.”
“Sealed records won’t seem like I did something terrible to Warren?”
Do I have to die to hear you miss me?
Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye?
I don't wanna act like there's tomorrow
I don't wanna wait to do this one more time
“Do you want to have every aspect of your failed marriage to be used against you for the rest of your career?”
“No.”
“Then we want them sealed. No fault means no abuse or cheating. Just two people who can’t stay married anymore. We need Warren to agree to terms before going to a judge and to agree to have the records sealed. I doubt he’d want to have it public record either. Stop avoiding the question. Is the reason we aren’t filing Damien?”
One more time
One more
One more time
One more time
One more time
One more time
“I don‘t want to put him in the middle of this. I don’t want him to be a pawn. I’ve seen enough movies about messy divorces. I don’t want that for Damien.”
“If we can keep Damien out of having to testify I will, I promise.” Tim offered kindly, “We are offering Warren better terms then I’ve ever had to do. You are asking for nothing. He gets to keep his money, his property and we are paying for his name change. Offering him visitation is better than he could hope for.”
“What if he doesn’t sign the paperwork?”
One more
One more time
One more time
One more time
“I doubt the man who stood passive aggressively in my kitchen refusing to talk to anyone at a kid’s birthday party isn’t going to sign them. But even if he doesn’t the court can grant a divorce and decide all major issues even if your spouse never shows up or files one response to court papers. As soon as you sign your name on the dotted line and he is served it is happening unless we withdraw it. Sooner we get this done the sooner he’s out of your life.”
“This is just talking. I haven’t decided if I am doing this.”
“And I ask again, what’s stopping you? You’ve been living separately for months. You mentioned how bad things were getting in July. What’s stopping you from getting out?” Tim asked.
“I miss him.”
I miss you
Tim groaned, “Missing him is not the same as still being in love with him. Nor does it mean he’s good for you.”
“I know.”
From brothers into strangers once again
The office was clean slick and black. A few potted plants, degrees on the wall, kid’s art projects, a dozen pictures of Tim, Sasha, and their kids. All of them together, all of them happy. Some candid and some clearly done with a professional flare. A copy of the Christmas card photo dean had on his kitchen counter sat proudly behind Tim as he was going over the details. Even the books on she shelves all looked aesthetically place and color coded. Every detail in here was meant to make a person feel at ease, but Dean did not feel any of those things.
“So with these terms we are pretty well setup for an uncontested no-fault divorce. Should be pretty quick filing if you go through with it.” Tim said casually looking over at Dean as if aware Dean wasn’t listening.
“Are you sure we’ll get a no fault divorce?” Dean asked, it was the easiest method, the least risk of dragging this out longer than it needed to be. “And just because we’re talking about this doesn’t mean it’ll get filed until I sign right?”
We saw the whole world
But I couldn't see the meaning
I couldn't even recognize my friends
“You think Warren is gonna change his tune and suddenly want to stay married?” Tim was clearly annoyed, sitting back in his chair, steeping his fingers. “No offense, But I doubt he’s gonna argue this marriage is working. He refused marriage counseling and you two haven’t talked since you left, right?”
“We text about setting up times for Warren to see Damien.”
“That doesn’t really count, Dean.” Tim shook his head, “What are your main concerns for not filing right now?”
Older, but nothing's any different
Right now feels the same, I wonder why
“...Can he fight me for custody?” Dean asked, looking through the glass to watch Damien in the other room playing with the other kids in the waiting area. This was private. Not even Florence knew they were here. If he was lucky not even the dirtsheets saw him drive into the garage. This was just a conversation. Just preparations.
“He never adopted Damien. We’ve gone over this. The natural parent, has superior rights to custody to their child over all others according to United States law.” Tim said tapping his desk drawing Dean back to the matter at hand. “A “Step Parent” is an honorary title, has no real legal status or standing versus an actual, natural patent and is an “other". After a divorce, the step parent relationship is ended. You can’t ask for child support or force visitation.”
“I don’t want any of his goddamn money.” Dean said defensively.
I wish they told us
It shouldn't take a sickness
Or airplanes falling out the sky
“Maybe you should. One could argue his raise from the midcard of frequent Spike Kane punching bag for a cheap heat to the status he has now is thanks in no small part due to riding your dick to the big kids table.”
“I don’t want his money, Tim.”
“Fine, fine. I’m just saying it wouldn’t be hard to argue you deserve it. At least the combined income from the couple themed merch sales that IWF has made.”
Do I have to die to hear you miss me?
Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye?
I don't wanna act like there's tomorrow
I don't wanna wait to do this one more time
“I have enough money. My merch sales have been fucking record breaking since my return. I’m a piece of shit and a hot mess but people love a mess. But that’s what makes me worries he’d use that to take Damien away.”
“Unless there is good cause why the natural parent should not have custody- Which we’ve already got four psychologists with written testimony to say there isn’t - The Judge has no reason to take custody from you. You’ve been rebuilding friendship like I recommended?”
“You and my therapist, yeah. I’ve been going to family dinners again. Devlin and I are taking the kids to the zoo. I’ve even started going to that Dad’s and Kids group you keep sending me links to.” Dean shrugged.
One more time
One more
“And you already feel less alone, you actually smiled earlier and it reached your eyes. Good, good. I’m your friend and your lawyer. You don’t have to take all my advise, you haven’t yet. But this is good. Building yourself up is a good first step. So besides the custody-”
“What if Damien asks to live with him? Warren’s the fun parent recently. He got Damien a fucking dog and is only around for the fun events while I have to do the actual parenting. He might think Warren is the good parent.”
“Like I keep saying, custody will naturally be awarded to the natural parent.” Tim sighed, “We’ve been doing our due diligence confirming there is no reason for you to lose custody of Damien. We have the therapist whose worked just with Damien confirm you have provided Damien with a loving and safe home. Besides, Damien isn’t really old enough to be considered a ‘Self-aware child’, it would be easier if you let me lean on the autism diagnosis-”
“I’m not going to change my mind on that.”
One more time
One more time
“Regardless, even if he was old enough to be labeled a ‘Self-aware child’ who had strong opinions about custody all he could do was communicate preferences in custody to the judge. It may even, if Warren forces the issue, there may be an opportunity for Damien to discuss his wants with the judge. But it would be a preferences, only considered but not a controlling factor in a custody decision. We are going to be fine. Trust me. We have the teachers confirming Warren never bothered to show up to a conference. We have the center confirming Warren had Damien tested for Autism without your consent.”
“I don’t want Damien’s autism to be treated like a problem.”
“It wont be. But it shows a pattern of behavior. That with the dog and the inviting of the nanny to spend the holidays. We are in a good place here, Dean. He can’t take Damien away from you. If you think he is only building this relationship up with Damien to try and hurt you and get full custody we have a strong case to deny him any rights to see the kid ever again. It gives us the upper hand at the table to offer him the choice to only have visitation or he gets nothing and we can file a restraining order to keep him from ever seeing the kid again.”
I miss you, took time but I admit it
It still hurts even after all these years
And I know that next time, ain't always gonna happen
I gotta say, "I love you" while we're here
“I don’t know if I want to go that far. He’s Damien’s dad-”
“Not biologically or legally. With the way he’s disappeared in the past I strongly recommend supervised visitation once the papers are served, if you decide to go forward with the divorce.” Tim sat forward looking at Dean, “Most of your questions are about custody. Are the reason we are still sitting on not filing this because of Damien? You already got him in therapy. I’m not saying it won't have ramifications. There might be resentment when he gets older. If this goes to trial instead of getting Warren to settle and agree before hand…it will be public record which means everything can be looked up by dirtsheets and Damien when he gets access to a computer.”
“Sealed records won’t seem like I did something terrible to Warren?”
Do I have to die to hear you miss me?
Do I have to die to hear you say goodbye?
I don't wanna act like there's tomorrow
I don't wanna wait to do this one more time
“Do you want to have every aspect of your failed marriage to be used against you for the rest of your career?”
“No.”
“Then we want them sealed. No fault means no abuse or cheating. Just two people who can’t stay married anymore. We need Warren to agree to terms before going to a judge and to agree to have the records sealed. I doubt he’d want to have it public record either. Stop avoiding the question. Is the reason we aren’t filing Damien?”
One more time
One more
One more time
One more time
One more time
One more time
“I don‘t want to put him in the middle of this. I don’t want him to be a pawn. I’ve seen enough movies about messy divorces. I don’t want that for Damien.”
“If we can keep Damien out of having to testify I will, I promise.” Tim offered kindly, “We are offering Warren better terms then I’ve ever had to do. You are asking for nothing. He gets to keep his money, his property and we are paying for his name change. Offering him visitation is better than he could hope for.”
“What if he doesn’t sign the paperwork?”
One more
One more time
One more time
One more time
“I doubt the man who stood passive aggressively in my kitchen refusing to talk to anyone at a kid’s birthday party isn’t going to sign them. But even if he doesn’t the court can grant a divorce and decide all major issues even if your spouse never shows up or files one response to court papers. As soon as you sign your name on the dotted line and he is served it is happening unless we withdraw it. Sooner we get this done the sooner he’s out of your life.”
“This is just talking. I haven’t decided if I am doing this.”
“And I ask again, what’s stopping you? You’ve been living separately for months. You mentioned how bad things were getting in July. What’s stopping you from getting out?” Tim asked.
“I miss him.”
I miss you
Tim groaned, “Missing him is not the same as still being in love with him. Nor does it mean he’s good for you.”
“I know.”
Well howdy there pardner.