Give Up

[Shea O’Hara]

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January 31st, 2024

The Relentless March

Sometimes, I forget just how quickly things can and do move in this business. The relentless march of time, there is never enough of it. Never enough hours in the day, the clock gets away from us, even at the best of times. A little over a month ago, I was doubting whether I’d truly made the smart play by throwing myself into the deep end and competing right off the bat in the 2023 Heiress To The Throne tournament.

As they say, hindsight is always 20/20, and looking back, I’m self-aware enough to admit that I was maybe just a little too excited that the tournament itself was being reinstated that I ignored any indication from my body or my mind that I should ease myself back slowly into the swing of things.

I know now that I really wasn’t prepared to face even a regular Jennie Fenix, never mind one who was on a stalwart mission of her own against Brooklyn Madrox. I have no excuses for being knocked out of the first round, back then.

Jennie Fenix humbled me, and she did so at a time when I needed it most. I needed to be reminded why the IWF has the premier women’s division in our industry and has done for over a decade now. I needed to be reminded why it was such a big friggin’ deal when I was plucked from humble beginnings and obscurity in late 2015 and scouted by the late, great Spike Kane personally for IWF - the pinnacle of American professional wrestling.

Whatever I may think of the man personally, I cannot ignore that he gave me my first big opportunity, professionally. He opened a lot of substantial doors for me, mostly because by his own admission, he was insanely patriotic, and thought there was no such thing as too many Irish born talents in our industry.

He saw something in me as a plucky nineteen year old back then. Grit, determination and raw talent worth shaping and molding, and I will always be grateful to him for that, even if his legacy is tainted in many people’s opinions these days. Spike Kane believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself - and whilst he was not the only guiding hand I had in those days, he was an important part of why I not only became the youngest Shieldmaiden at the time, but also why I was able to utilise the tools he gave me to become the youngest Women’s World Champion later on in that same year.

I had the whole world on a string when I first burst onto the pro circuit in 2016. I came in and put down one of IWF’s youngest and most dominant Shieldmaidens in company history, Kayla Richards. A Champion who would later go on to disgrace herself publicly and be a public relations nightmare for IWF - so much so in fact that her entire career has been reduced to an inconsequential footnote officially, but screw it, this is my blog on my website not officially affiliated with my employer, so I will acknowledge my professional accomplishments as they actually happened, even if it goes against the official corporate narrative.

Many of you reading this right now are probably wondering why I am bringing up history from almost a decade ago, but those few of you who are more astute may understand exactly why. To my mind, there are unignorable parallels to be drawn between my role against Kayla Richards back then, and my role against Serenity Holmes now.

I was underestimated by Kayla then, just as I am underestimated by Serenity now. Kayla was a bitch who thought she was better than everyone, most especially me, until I stepped up and achieved the impossible. Eight years ago, I pulled off one of the biggest upsets in IWF history, and this Sunday at Metamorphosis X, history is set to be repeated.

How can I be so confident of that, you ask?

Well, dear reader, consider if you will, the fact that for all her bravado, Serenity Holmes is in fact as rattled as I’ve ever seen her. She may well deny it of course, in fact to save face and protect her father’s legacy and to salvage what little remains of her reputation, she almost certainly will, but the facts as I see them, are undeniable at this point.

At Diamonds Are Forever, Serenity fell from atop a fifteen foot ladder with about as much grace and dignity as she has ever fallen in her life, and it was undoubtedly more an issue of simple dumb luck than pure second generation talent which caused her to bring me and the Queen’s Gambit briefcase down with her.

And she knows it too.

She doesn’t have it in her to admit it of course, but I mean, for a woman who prides herself on being the best acquisition this company ever made on name value alone, she hasn’t exactly been setting the world on fire lately, has she? As more and more time passes, and as we saw a full twenty minutes in which she managed to do diddly-squat at Odyssey last night, it becomes pretty friggin’ obvious that the hype behind her is more for who her Da was than who she is in her own right.

Maybe three months off after her war with Tara Fenix wasn’t enough time, maybe Serenity is still rattled by some combination of that bitter defeat and her mother’s passing, I don’t know, only she knows the truth of the matter, but it’s pretty clear to me that if Jess Fowler doesn’t already have buyer’s remorse about having prematurely signed her to a new contract before Diamonds Are Forever, then they bloody well should now!

🎸🎸🎸

February 1st, 2024

Congratulations, Charlotte Shimizu

I have no idea if she’ll ever read this, or if she is even aware of my little corner of the internet, but just want to take a moment to personally shout out to the remarkable young woman who gave me my personal favourite match since my return to the company, Charlotte Shimizu.

We had a banger at Odyssey a couple days ago, and unlike the hype surrounding Serenity Holmes, Charlotte Shimizu actually lives up to all of hers. I told her this in person after the match when we shook hands, but it bears repeating, I’m already looking forward to the next time I have the privilege of sharing the ring with her.

Congratulations are also in order for her IWF Breakout Star of 2023 award, and I’ll go on record right here and now and say it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if by this time next year she’s in contention for Diamond of the Year 2024.

Charlotte is everything Serenity wishes she was. Humble, sweet, talented and most importantly somebody willing to bust her ass and put the work in and earn every victory and learn from every defeat, just like me, so I give her all the kudos in the friggin’ world.

Not only is she absolutely one to watch as a bonafide star of the future, but she’s also an utter joy to do so. Not since I first met Vivienne Rodgers have I felt such an immediate warmth and friendship, so please don’t go and spoil it all by joining a borderline satanic cult leader, will you, Lottie?

No, seriously, please don’t!

🎸🎸🎸

~~~

Shea O’Hara sat on the edge of a training wrestling ring apron. She wore a white sports bra and shorts combination. Her breathing was measured as she came down from the unique adrenaline high of sparring with somebody much more versed in the style and immersed in the world of MMA than she ever was or ever would be - her longtime friend, Saoirse Murphy.

Saoirse was yet another in a long line of Spike Kane “children”, that he had fostered through the IWF developmental system during his tenure as Head Trainer. It was obvious why Spike had taken a shine to her, a trained MMA fighter from Belfast, Ireland. She possessed the rough edge that had always drawn Spike’s attention, the exact kind of edge Shea was all too aware that she herself lacked.

For as gifted as Shea knew herself to be in a wrestling ring, none of her trainers and mentors had been able to cultivate the kind of ruthlessness that was synonymous with the real wrestling families around here - the Blakes, the Kanes and the Holmes.

Shea wasn’t part of the wrestling business because of some family expectation, no she was just a star struck fan who had been drawn into the business through the unique sound and pageantry of a wrestler’s entrance, some of which were almost mini rock concerts before matches in of themselves. Shea had been enraptured by the spirit of professional wrestling as a fan and she quickly became obsessed with making it in her dream job.

And now, here she was, almost a decade later. A star in her own right, she’d not only made it in the very business she never thought she would because she wasn’t a tough girl at heart, but she’d made it back from a small number of successive setbacks.

Shea knew that she should be far more proud of that fact than she allowed herself to be, but for the moment she could not escape her inner critic. The little voice that still kicked her for being pathetically knocked out of the Heiress To The Throne last year by a much more established and capable name, a bigger name than O’Hara would ever be. Wrestling may be in her soul figuratively , but it was not in her blood, literally.

And the anxiety that that unfortunate fact of her lot in life may once again be the difference maker in the single most important match of her career renaissance haunted her terribly. Shea wasn’t as familiar with the Holmes dynasty, but she didn’t need to be, just the fact that Serenity was a second generation sensation and Shea was nothing of the sort was enough to intimidate the hell out of her, especially if she dwelled on it too long.

Shea O’Hara wasn’t professional wrestling royalty by any stretch, but she had associations. Enough for her anxiety to insist that she was a leech with no real friends in the business. Maybe Vivienne had had enough of Shea picking the brain of a full-blooded Rodgers, maybe Warren and Dawn had had enough of her hanging onto full-blooded Kanes.

Certainly how she felt about Warren, had always felt about him, had never been brought into the light after they had discovered him to be a Kane. They had had a very brief fling when he was just a Kidd, but she knew it meant nothing to him. Chances were he didn’t even remember it, and it was better that he didn’t.

Warren’s amnesia about it had saved Shea the pain of admitting that she loved her gay best friend, and dealing with the fact that something being wrong with her could very well be the reason Warren had insisted so strongly that he was gay even after a couple blissful weeks in her bed, years ago now.

If the worst happened this Sunday and Dean Harper ended up putting Warren out, Shea feared she would not have the strength to both face him and keep her feelings in check. She never could stand to see Warren hurt, neither physically nor emotionally…

Saoirse handed Shea a water bottle. Reflexively, Shea accepted it and nodded, muttered a quick thank you under her breath. It took several moments for the coolness of it to register in her hands, she had been so deep in thought and so firmly stuck in the haze of autopilot after their session together.

Shea was most likely overthinking everything, but she had to prepare as best she could for Serenity’s primary offensive style. Losing in the stipulation she had picked would be a level of humiliation that Shea knew the sanctimonious bitch would never let her live down. And there was no way Shea’s pride could allow that.

Shea unscrewed the bottle cap and took a hearty swig before she smiled. Her typically bubbly and sweet, infectious confidence slipped back into place, and masked her anxiety fully from the camera in front of her. It had no place in her work life.

Like, are you the 22nd Century Girl, ‘cause you needed till then to even have any hope of Beating The Clock at Odyssey?

Help me out here, I’m genuinely confused.

Aren’t you supposed to be the hottest of the new hot shit around here?

Somebody literally born into this business, someone brought up to fight.

A natural in our profession, somebody so gifted you could wrestle circles around not only the likes of little ol’ me but also the entirety of our women’s division?

You went a full twenty minutes and the best you managed was a time limit draw.

You must be such a giant disappointment to your Da right now, huh Serenity?

Don’t worry though, you could never disappoint me, ‘cause I have accepted the fact that you’re just another over privileged, overhyped and overrated young starlet in this business, and I have learned never to expect too much from mean girls and divas like that in life a long time ago.

See, the problem with belittling everyone at every damned turn is if you don’t back it up and the very people you insist are beneath you happen to show your cocky, entitled butt up, well then you just look like a colossal dope, don’t you?

I can only hope that the last few weeks have started to humble you, at least a little and if you were a true student of the game and worthy of my personal respect, you’d learn from your setbacks and refocus, reflect and readjust your attitude towards not only your immediate opponents like me, but your place in this company.

My company.

My home.

The Imperial Wrestling Federation.

The place I have never abandoned ‘cause it has never abandoned me. Never gave up on me, even in my darkest and most desperate hour. Without getting too caught up in comparing traumas here, Serenity, let me just say I’m not a fan of you assuming you’re the only one around here who has had it rough and seen some real shit in life, like.

I will concede that compared to some around here, I’ve lead a fairly charmed life, and knowing what some of my closest friends in this business have been through only deepened my empathy and gratitude overall. I realised pretty quickly just how minor and petty most of my grievances with how my life has gone up to this point really were, like.

It is that sense of humility and perspective which guarantees that I will never ridicule any of your hardships or personal demons, Serenity. The simple fact is I know people who went through what you went through. People special enough to me to be considered friends, so whatever I may think of how you choose to conduct yourself in this business, I will never trivialise their struggle or yours for a cheap pop.

I don’t need to pick at the low hanging fruit to make my points and state my case for why I need the Queen’s Gambit briefcase much more than you do. You have done little to prove that even if you were lucky enough to attain it that you wouldn’t end up squandering it after the initial high of possessing it subsided.

See, the entire concept of the briefcase is still relatively new to our women’s division. Some bright spark decided it might be cool to give us our own Joker In The Pack equivalent, and whilst I am grateful for the long overdue show of equity, the brief history of the Queen’s Gambit leaves a lot to be desired, like.

The briefcase has never had somebody to define it, put it on the map or even elevate it’s overall prestige. The first winner was forced to vacate due to injury and then our current Champion Brooklyn Madrox was just handed it based on little more than previous tenure and Hall Of Fame status.

The annual open contract has never had a legitimate claimant before.

Until now, until our match on the upcoming landmark edition of Metamorphosis.

As such, when I make history this Sunday as the first ever truly undisputed Queen’s Gambit contract recipient, I want there to be no excuses and no doubts as to which one of us has truly earned the privilege to hold that briefcase and the right to challenge for a Championship.

That is why the stipulation I chose puts us on fairly even footing, Serenity. Far more even than I’m sure you would have been to me had the chips fallen in your favour instead.

We both have a technical proficiency in that ring, and whatever I might think of you as a person, I’d be a fool to discount one of the youngest World Champions in the history of our industry, entirely. Especially given that you’re now the same age as I was when I won my first Women’s Championship in this business.

The key difference between us though Serenity is that whilst you won your first World Championship in some struggling Indy promotion that likely gifted you their top prize to leech a little more from your Da’s legacy through you, I earned my first World Championship right here in the Imperial Wrestling Federation.

The clock has already run down on you once, Serenity, and at Metamorphosis, I reset it once more, when you’re forced to do the only thing you’ve ever done effectively in IWF.

Give up.