Post by Mike Machado on Nov 10, 2013 18:39:57 GMT
“Eight….Nine…. C’mon, push it out! PUSH IT OUT!”
Machado grunts as he pushes a barbell filled with weights to the top of a weight bench. Gerald assists with putting the weight back on the rack and Machado hops off the bench and claps his hands together.
”New personal record! Woo!”
”Huzzah!! Soon you’ll be bench pressing your own body weight, Mike!”
Gerald quickly moves to strip the weight off the barbell, using one hand to take 3 or 4 of the weights off at a time, revealing that they are “training” weights, and only weight a few pounds each. Machado leans in and speaks softly to Gerald.
”C’mon Gerald, don’t say that too loud, man. You know how I feel about the weight room…”
”Ain’t a soul here but us, m’lorde! Well us, and the cameras for your training montage.”
”Still, I’m very self-conscious about this sort of thing. The rest of these guys, they’ve probably been strong since high school, and been winning for just as long.”
Gerald begins loading real weights to the barbell, holding a conversation while he does.
”Everyone has to start somewhere, m’lorde. It’s really admirable how you’re stepping up lately. I mean, I think you’re really starting to capture an audience. Your win over Steve Awesome last week was… incredible m’lorde.”
Machado swings his arms back and forth, stretching out his overly sore man-boobs. Gerald has finished loading the barbell and has moved to a seated position on the weight bench.
”It was pretty great, wasn’t it? Did you see the move I threw on him at the end there?”
”I did, indeed! “’Twas truly devastating! Will you be replacing the might of mediocrity, then?”
Mike stares into one of the many full-length mirrors that outline the walls of the weight room, admiring his triceps. They aren’t much, but they’re pumped from the workout.
”I don’t know about replacing, Gerald… maybe a better word would be: Supplicating.”
”Soon you will be known across the entire realm as the man of one-thousand holds!”
Machado tears his eyes away from his reflection and moves over the bar to spot Gerald.
”How many we got?”
”Likely only 5, m’lorde. It has been more than fortnight since I’ve last lifted any substantial weight. I may require your assistance on the last few.”
”Alright! Whenever you’re ready!!”
Gerald lies under the barbell and with a grunt of effort he manages to move the weight above his chest. He lowers it and raises it twice without much struggle. The third time he lowers it he struggles a bit getting it up, but is able to without any assistance from Machado. Machado’s phone rings as Gerald lowers the weight the fourth time. It’s a personalized ringtone…
I’m the one who wants to be with you.
Deep inside I hope you feel it too.
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you.
”SOPHIE!?”
Mr. Big’s ‘classic’ love anthem rings out and Machado completely abandons Gerald on the bench, digging through his gym bag to find his phone. He quickly pulls it out and answers.
”Heyyyyyy! I was just thinkin’ bout you!”
As Machado chats on the phone, Gerald is struggling mightily with the weight. The bar is sitting on his chest and his face is turning purple with effort.
”Oh, you know… just pumping some iron. Whipping myself into shape so that I look good holding that Imperial championship.”
Gerald continues to struggle with the weight, and Mike continues to completely ignore the big man, who is now in some pretty serious trouble.
”Of course with you on my arm! Silly!”
Gerald unleashes a primal scream and thrusts his hips in order to move the weight off his chest. He’s still unable to lift it properly, but is able to tilt it to one side causing the bell and the weights to crash to the floor thunderously.
”DUDE! ….Do you mind? I’m on the phone…”
Gerald looks at Machado incredulously. Panting, his face still red with the effort of moving the weight, he gets up and starts to move toward Machado… who is still deep in conversation.
”Tonight? Of course! I just got my big bonus from Mr. Verona for beating Steve last week, so I’ve some money to burn!”
Machado glances up at Gerald and winks at him, a huge goofy smile on his face.
”So I’ll see you around nine? Fantastic! Goodbye beautiful!”
Machado hangs up the phone and does a short, embarrassing celebratory dance. Gerald has yet to say a word since being abandoned and almost killed on the weight bench. He holds his arms out, and then points to the weight bench, finally breaking ‘character’ and speaking out.
”Mike! What the hell!?”
”Oh! Oh Gerald! I’m sorry, man!”
”Ever since you met the girl it’s like nothing else matters. This whole week you’ve been texting her 24 hours a day. I get the whole ‘new love’ thing, but c’mon…you almost killed me!”
”Love!? Do you think she loves me, Gerald!?”
Machado looks up to Gerald, stars in his eyes. Gerald sighs and shakes his head.
”You’re completely out of your element, Mike…but I’m not going to be the one to stop you. In the words of Shakespeare:
If thou remember'st not the slightest folly
That ever love did make thee run into,
Thou hast not loved. “
”Him and Mr. Big really knew their stuff. Thanks, Gerald. Oh – yeah… about that segment we were supposed to tape tonight, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it. Me and Sophia are going out to dinner. I think I’m going to take her to that new sushi place that just opened up.”
”…Fine, Mike. I’ll try to carry the promo. Just, please… don’t make any plans for this weekend. We really need to take some time to prepare for our big match on Monday night.”
”Thanks Gerald! Thanks so much, man! I won’t forget this! I’m hoping that I may get lucky tonight, if ya know what I mean…”
”You don’t need to tell me these things. Also, didn’t that happen last week after the club?”
”Well… I mean, I did ‘get lucky’ then, too… but only lucky enough to give her a foot rub.”
”A foot rub?”
”Yeah, but I got to do it ‘raw’, dude. Didn’t even need to bust out the latex doctors gloves.”
Machado holds his hand up in the air for a ‘bro high-five’. Gerald shakes his head.
“That was delicious, baby. “
Sophia and Mike have just finished their dinner. Two empty bottles of saki sit in the middle of the table, along with different shapes of plates for various sushi and sashimi platters.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m not such a huge fan of sushi myself, but I thought that you’d enjoy it.”
Sophia smiles at Mike and adjusts her rather revealing dress. Mike’s eyes fall to her chest and he stares rather openly. Sophia notices and slaps his hand playfully.
“Michael, we only just met. You don’t want to give me the wrong impression, now, do you?”
Machado blushes and brings his eyes back up to hers, smiling dumbly.
“I’m sorry – you’re just, sometimes I have a hard time understanding how I got so lucky to be on a date with such a beautiful woman. I don’t want to waste a moment of our time together.”
“Well. How about we spend a little time together this weekend? I’m thinking we could go to a little bed and breakfast somewhere, maybe see a show or something?”
Mike bites his lip nervously and looks down, sighing.
“I promised Gerald that we’d get together this weekend to gameplan for our match this Monday night against License to Kill. I already bailed on him to be here…”
Sophia pouts and again adjusts her dress, revealing even more.
“That’s a shame, Michael. I just went out and purchased something special for our nights together, I was going to show you this weekend…”
Mike’s eyes light up.
“I mean, I can cancel. I’m sure he’ll get over it.”
“Good! I’ll make sure to get you the number of the place so that you can book a room! Two days and two nights.”
Machado stares into her big brown eyes, completely lost once again. He nods dumbly and she smiles. She excuses herself and heads to the ladies room, and soon the waiter shows up to drop off the check. Machado looks down and does a double take.
“Three-hundred dollars? For two people”
”Small price to pay to have that one your arm.”
Mike looks up at the waiter and nods in agreement as he begins to happily sign the check.
Machado grunts as he pushes a barbell filled with weights to the top of a weight bench. Gerald assists with putting the weight back on the rack and Machado hops off the bench and claps his hands together.
”New personal record! Woo!”
”Huzzah!! Soon you’ll be bench pressing your own body weight, Mike!”
Gerald quickly moves to strip the weight off the barbell, using one hand to take 3 or 4 of the weights off at a time, revealing that they are “training” weights, and only weight a few pounds each. Machado leans in and speaks softly to Gerald.
”C’mon Gerald, don’t say that too loud, man. You know how I feel about the weight room…”
”Ain’t a soul here but us, m’lorde! Well us, and the cameras for your training montage.”
”Still, I’m very self-conscious about this sort of thing. The rest of these guys, they’ve probably been strong since high school, and been winning for just as long.”
Gerald begins loading real weights to the barbell, holding a conversation while he does.
”Everyone has to start somewhere, m’lorde. It’s really admirable how you’re stepping up lately. I mean, I think you’re really starting to capture an audience. Your win over Steve Awesome last week was… incredible m’lorde.”
Machado swings his arms back and forth, stretching out his overly sore man-boobs. Gerald has finished loading the barbell and has moved to a seated position on the weight bench.
”It was pretty great, wasn’t it? Did you see the move I threw on him at the end there?”
”I did, indeed! “’Twas truly devastating! Will you be replacing the might of mediocrity, then?”
Mike stares into one of the many full-length mirrors that outline the walls of the weight room, admiring his triceps. They aren’t much, but they’re pumped from the workout.
”I don’t know about replacing, Gerald… maybe a better word would be: Supplicating.”
”Soon you will be known across the entire realm as the man of one-thousand holds!”
Machado tears his eyes away from his reflection and moves over the bar to spot Gerald.
”How many we got?”
”Likely only 5, m’lorde. It has been more than fortnight since I’ve last lifted any substantial weight. I may require your assistance on the last few.”
”Alright! Whenever you’re ready!!”
Gerald lies under the barbell and with a grunt of effort he manages to move the weight above his chest. He lowers it and raises it twice without much struggle. The third time he lowers it he struggles a bit getting it up, but is able to without any assistance from Machado. Machado’s phone rings as Gerald lowers the weight the fourth time. It’s a personalized ringtone…
I’m the one who wants to be with you.
Deep inside I hope you feel it too.
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you.
”SOPHIE!?”
Mr. Big’s ‘classic’ love anthem rings out and Machado completely abandons Gerald on the bench, digging through his gym bag to find his phone. He quickly pulls it out and answers.
”Heyyyyyy! I was just thinkin’ bout you!”
As Machado chats on the phone, Gerald is struggling mightily with the weight. The bar is sitting on his chest and his face is turning purple with effort.
”Oh, you know… just pumping some iron. Whipping myself into shape so that I look good holding that Imperial championship.”
Gerald continues to struggle with the weight, and Mike continues to completely ignore the big man, who is now in some pretty serious trouble.
”Of course with you on my arm! Silly!”
Gerald unleashes a primal scream and thrusts his hips in order to move the weight off his chest. He’s still unable to lift it properly, but is able to tilt it to one side causing the bell and the weights to crash to the floor thunderously.
”DUDE! ….Do you mind? I’m on the phone…”
Gerald looks at Machado incredulously. Panting, his face still red with the effort of moving the weight, he gets up and starts to move toward Machado… who is still deep in conversation.
”Tonight? Of course! I just got my big bonus from Mr. Verona for beating Steve last week, so I’ve some money to burn!”
Machado glances up at Gerald and winks at him, a huge goofy smile on his face.
”So I’ll see you around nine? Fantastic! Goodbye beautiful!”
Machado hangs up the phone and does a short, embarrassing celebratory dance. Gerald has yet to say a word since being abandoned and almost killed on the weight bench. He holds his arms out, and then points to the weight bench, finally breaking ‘character’ and speaking out.
”Mike! What the hell!?”
”Oh! Oh Gerald! I’m sorry, man!”
”Ever since you met the girl it’s like nothing else matters. This whole week you’ve been texting her 24 hours a day. I get the whole ‘new love’ thing, but c’mon…you almost killed me!”
”Love!? Do you think she loves me, Gerald!?”
Machado looks up to Gerald, stars in his eyes. Gerald sighs and shakes his head.
”You’re completely out of your element, Mike…but I’m not going to be the one to stop you. In the words of Shakespeare:
If thou remember'st not the slightest folly
That ever love did make thee run into,
Thou hast not loved. “
”Him and Mr. Big really knew their stuff. Thanks, Gerald. Oh – yeah… about that segment we were supposed to tape tonight, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it. Me and Sophia are going out to dinner. I think I’m going to take her to that new sushi place that just opened up.”
”…Fine, Mike. I’ll try to carry the promo. Just, please… don’t make any plans for this weekend. We really need to take some time to prepare for our big match on Monday night.”
”Thanks Gerald! Thanks so much, man! I won’t forget this! I’m hoping that I may get lucky tonight, if ya know what I mean…”
”You don’t need to tell me these things. Also, didn’t that happen last week after the club?”
”Well… I mean, I did ‘get lucky’ then, too… but only lucky enough to give her a foot rub.”
”A foot rub?”
”Yeah, but I got to do it ‘raw’, dude. Didn’t even need to bust out the latex doctors gloves.”
Machado holds his hand up in the air for a ‘bro high-five’. Gerald shakes his head.
License to Kill.
I’m not entirely sure why you’ve been put into this match with us. You, who have not done anything of note in a month or more, and us, the hottest tag team in professional wrestling.
You know, in Roman times, they used to put lions in the arena with gladiators in order to show off their skill. They would weaken the lions with spears, and then the gladiators would easily dispatch them for the entertainment of the fans. I feel like on Monday night, you two are nothing but lions, weakened by the spears of inactivity. You have weeks of nothing, and then suddenly the cream of the crop.
It isn’t entirely fair, but then again – I suppose life isn’t fair.
Look at my circumstance. I came to this organization to stand beside Mike Machado, the Lord of Mustache; and yet here I am, doing a promo by myself while he spends time with Sophia, the first great love of his life. When I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, it gets ripped from my grasp before I even have a moment to enjoy it.
I will make sure to relish me and Mike’s time in the ring together. I will be sure to remember every punch thrown, and every suplex executed… though I fear the match will go too short.
The lions will be dispatched, and the fans will be entertained.
“That was delicious, baby. “
Sophia and Mike have just finished their dinner. Two empty bottles of saki sit in the middle of the table, along with different shapes of plates for various sushi and sashimi platters.
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m not such a huge fan of sushi myself, but I thought that you’d enjoy it.”
Sophia smiles at Mike and adjusts her rather revealing dress. Mike’s eyes fall to her chest and he stares rather openly. Sophia notices and slaps his hand playfully.
“Michael, we only just met. You don’t want to give me the wrong impression, now, do you?”
Machado blushes and brings his eyes back up to hers, smiling dumbly.
“I’m sorry – you’re just, sometimes I have a hard time understanding how I got so lucky to be on a date with such a beautiful woman. I don’t want to waste a moment of our time together.”
“Well. How about we spend a little time together this weekend? I’m thinking we could go to a little bed and breakfast somewhere, maybe see a show or something?”
Mike bites his lip nervously and looks down, sighing.
“I promised Gerald that we’d get together this weekend to gameplan for our match this Monday night against License to Kill. I already bailed on him to be here…”
Sophia pouts and again adjusts her dress, revealing even more.
“That’s a shame, Michael. I just went out and purchased something special for our nights together, I was going to show you this weekend…”
Mike’s eyes light up.
“I mean, I can cancel. I’m sure he’ll get over it.”
“Good! I’ll make sure to get you the number of the place so that you can book a room! Two days and two nights.”
Machado stares into her big brown eyes, completely lost once again. He nods dumbly and she smiles. She excuses herself and heads to the ladies room, and soon the waiter shows up to drop off the check. Machado looks down and does a double take.
“Three-hundred dollars? For two people”
”Small price to pay to have that one your arm.”
Mike looks up at the waiter and nods in agreement as he begins to happily sign the check.
Well howdy there pardner.