Post by Jack Ferriman on Apr 12, 2024 3:51:07 GMT
Doctor Smith sat across from Jack in the plain white office, tapping her pen on her notepad looking at him squarely as if waiting for him to break. But he didn’t the anxiety was there but he stayed in one piece.
“I think we’ve made some excellent progress.”
“But she’s not gone.”
“She might never be gone, Jack. And that’s okay. But you aren’t having blackouts or missing time. That means we’ve found a balance. That’s good.”
“But what if it falls apart again? What if I fall apart again and everything I’ve done in the last year was for nothing.”
“Jack.”
“Sorry.”
“Why are you worried about her coming back at this moment? What do you want to get off your chest?”
Jack’s left leg started to bounce as he looked down at his hands, “Well, it's about my friends. I feel like I'm constantly trying to meet their expectations.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“I guess I'm afraid of disappointing them. They've been supporting me. Nate’s been letting me crash at his place and Pax is hanging out with me. They are really good friends and I don't want to let them down.”
“It's okay to feel that pressure, Jack. But remember, your friends care about you for who you are, not for meeting some unrealistic standard.”
“I know, but sometimes it's hard not to compare myself to others or worry about falling short. Like if Jill pops back up and I ruin TDH because I can’t keep my brain in check.”
“That's understandable, but you don't have to be perfect to be valued. Your friends appreciate you for your unique qualities and the genuine connection you share with them.”
“You're right, Doctor Smith. I need to remind myself of that more often. Thank you.”
“Anytime, Jack. Just remember, you're enough just as you are. Your friends are lucky to have you, flaws and all.”
"Hey it's me. Jack Ferriman. You don't know me.
The last time I was on screens I was in the roulette backing up my new friend Pax. But you might remember more from my time in the church of Crosse.
Yeah, that was... a mistake.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat or pretend I didn't have a period of suppressing myself and trying to be the vocal member of a cult that liked whipping people. I did do that.
Let that be a lesson kids, don't get religion just because you feel isolated and alone. Just because it worked out for someone else does not mean you will get a title just because you joined a cult. I might still have some unresolved anger at Knight and the whole MOD crew now. But that's a future Jack problem.
But I got some therapy. I got some new friends. Nate and Pax are my boys. We vibe. We hang out. My mental health has never been better and I'm ready to get back to work. Sure, I spent some time homeless in the past but here we are. Ready to take life as it is. And it comes at you fast.
Tonight I am facing … sorry, do I call him J-TV or Jason Hathaway?
Either way.
Listen, I love the vibe. It’s some of the best shit I see most weeks. I know this is gonna seem beneath your talent level, right? You should be fighting wraith or someone with wins or a history you can really sharpen your teeth on. Honestly, everyone would love it if you had someone fun. But you got me.
And that sucks for both of us.
To you, I’m nothing but a warm-up. To me, you are my chance to start over. I am going to be throwing everything I have at you. If I can get a win over you? It might not get me main event-ing or a title shot, but it will prove the time Nate and Pax spent rehabbing me was worth it.
That’s all I want out of this match. It’s my first one back in the thick of it and I want it to be good. I am likely dealing with the worst odds ever on the betting table to come out of this even remotely holding my own but fuck it. You only live once.
Point being?
I want to make my mark. I want to make my mark and prove my boy's faith in me isn't misplaced. You’ll talk some of that good shit about me. Talk about my mental health or the fact no one knows who I am. Or the fact I spent some time as a cult’s number-one preacher boy. I’ll admit my material was not nearly as good as it should have been. It was giving youth pastor who just got out of conversion camp energy, right?
Your shit? That’s legit. Seriously good stuff. Hope you won’t take it the wrong way that I wont watch what you say about me. To be honest I never take the negative reviews super well. Bet it will be gangbusters though.
I hope we have a good match. I mean, I can already tell you are likely thinking its another easy win with enough time to hit the merch stand.
But first, you have to beat me. And I’m not that easy.”
“I think we’ve made some excellent progress.”
“But she’s not gone.”
“She might never be gone, Jack. And that’s okay. But you aren’t having blackouts or missing time. That means we’ve found a balance. That’s good.”
“But what if it falls apart again? What if I fall apart again and everything I’ve done in the last year was for nothing.”
“Jack.”
“Sorry.”
“Why are you worried about her coming back at this moment? What do you want to get off your chest?”
Jack’s left leg started to bounce as he looked down at his hands, “Well, it's about my friends. I feel like I'm constantly trying to meet their expectations.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“I guess I'm afraid of disappointing them. They've been supporting me. Nate’s been letting me crash at his place and Pax is hanging out with me. They are really good friends and I don't want to let them down.”
“It's okay to feel that pressure, Jack. But remember, your friends care about you for who you are, not for meeting some unrealistic standard.”
“I know, but sometimes it's hard not to compare myself to others or worry about falling short. Like if Jill pops back up and I ruin TDH because I can’t keep my brain in check.”
“That's understandable, but you don't have to be perfect to be valued. Your friends appreciate you for your unique qualities and the genuine connection you share with them.”
“You're right, Doctor Smith. I need to remind myself of that more often. Thank you.”
“Anytime, Jack. Just remember, you're enough just as you are. Your friends are lucky to have you, flaws and all.”
"Hey it's me. Jack Ferriman. You don't know me.
The last time I was on screens I was in the roulette backing up my new friend Pax. But you might remember more from my time in the church of Crosse.
Yeah, that was... a mistake.
I'm not gonna sugarcoat or pretend I didn't have a period of suppressing myself and trying to be the vocal member of a cult that liked whipping people. I did do that.
Let that be a lesson kids, don't get religion just because you feel isolated and alone. Just because it worked out for someone else does not mean you will get a title just because you joined a cult. I might still have some unresolved anger at Knight and the whole MOD crew now. But that's a future Jack problem.
But I got some therapy. I got some new friends. Nate and Pax are my boys. We vibe. We hang out. My mental health has never been better and I'm ready to get back to work. Sure, I spent some time homeless in the past but here we are. Ready to take life as it is. And it comes at you fast.
Tonight I am facing … sorry, do I call him J-TV or Jason Hathaway?
Either way.
Listen, I love the vibe. It’s some of the best shit I see most weeks. I know this is gonna seem beneath your talent level, right? You should be fighting wraith or someone with wins or a history you can really sharpen your teeth on. Honestly, everyone would love it if you had someone fun. But you got me.
And that sucks for both of us.
To you, I’m nothing but a warm-up. To me, you are my chance to start over. I am going to be throwing everything I have at you. If I can get a win over you? It might not get me main event-ing or a title shot, but it will prove the time Nate and Pax spent rehabbing me was worth it.
That’s all I want out of this match. It’s my first one back in the thick of it and I want it to be good. I am likely dealing with the worst odds ever on the betting table to come out of this even remotely holding my own but fuck it. You only live once.
Point being?
I want to make my mark. I want to make my mark and prove my boy's faith in me isn't misplaced. You’ll talk some of that good shit about me. Talk about my mental health or the fact no one knows who I am. Or the fact I spent some time as a cult’s number-one preacher boy. I’ll admit my material was not nearly as good as it should have been. It was giving youth pastor who just got out of conversion camp energy, right?
Your shit? That’s legit. Seriously good stuff. Hope you won’t take it the wrong way that I wont watch what you say about me. To be honest I never take the negative reviews super well. Bet it will be gangbusters though.
I hope we have a good match. I mean, I can already tell you are likely thinking its another easy win with enough time to hit the merch stand.
But first, you have to beat me. And I’m not that easy.”
Well howdy there pardner.