Post by J-TV on May 20, 2024 7:21:06 GMT
The following is a special broadcast of
The views and opinions expressed therein do not represent those of the Imperial Wrestling Federation or its staff.
TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS
(where applicable)
The entire arena is on its feet as J-TV covers Madjinn for the three count. The reign of terror is over, and a new era for the TV Championship can finally begin in the IWF! In the ring, there is pandemonium as Madjinn's rent-a-goons come flooding through the ropes seeking vengeance for their fallen fuckboy. Our hero was made a swift escape with the holy grail, the gleaming and sparkling Television Title draped over his shoulder.
They might have caught him, were it not for the actions of one brave hero.
"Someone's gotta pay, and it's gonna be Robbie!"
The Camerman of Justice serves as an incredible distraction, drawing the ire of The Black Widow, as the hag drags him back into the center of the ring. With his presence, he has truly saved Odyssey from its darkest day. Will the price he pay be worth it? The crowd gasps and falls silent as Robbie is given a vicious shove, sending him tumbling to the mat in a wounded heap. What macabre violence, what a gruesome display...
Robbie's world turns black.
Then, static fills the screen, warping and contorting until finally it vanishes, revealing a white ceiling interwoven with pipes and hanging fluorescent lights, buzzing idly in the quiet room. Footsteps echo off of the walls as a familiar looking woman approaches, wearing a loose fitting nurse cap over her long dark hair. She hums, reaching out to adjust the camera with her hand. A voice calls out behind her, breaking up in a burst of camera fuzz.
Static fills the screen as another doctor sporting a spectacular golden mullet leans in with a pair of pliers, brow furrowed as he twists something just off-camera. "Shit!"
The woman clears her throat and looks down at her clipboard, jotting something down with the pen in her lab coat before looking to an unseen figure to the left and nodding. "Bring in the LED."
An additional screen lowers down over the camera from the ceiling, and it is quickly drilled into place by the mullet-sporting doctor, casting a strange green grid over the entire room. There is another flash of distortion, and now the female doctor peers into the camera with a small smile, Dr. Mullet at her side.
"He's on." She says, as the sound of a door closing behind her makes her turn her head to another man entering out of sight. "Doctor C, What's the story?" Jason Hathaway enters the frame, wearing his finest suit and the freshly polished Television Title around his waist. The woman gestures towards the camera, "We were able to save the Serenity Holmes t-shirt and the antique camera."
Jason raises an eyebrow at her, looking puzzled. "What? I thought we agreed on total merchandise disenfranchisement. Lose the Holmes t-shirt, alright?" Hathaway turns his attention to the screen, moving his hand in close and snapping his fingers a few times. "Can he understand what I'm saying?"
"Don't matter, bruv. We'll be wiping his memories of this later, yeah?" Dr. Mullet replies, squatting down to peer uncomfortably close into the camera lens. "Bruv signed a release in 'is manager contract. We can do what we want wit 'im" Jason nods, turning to Dr. C. "Lose the shirt."
She sighs in resignation as Jason turns around and leaves, grabbing Dr. Mullet by his collar and dragging him back to stand straight. "Shut him down, prep him for surgery."
The screen flashes to black once more, and remains that way for about ten seconds before turning back on. This time, Dr. Mullet is holding up a brand-new, state of the art film camera. "'is new camera will look like this, yeah? Hollywood level, thousands a' dollars. Bruv could shoot you from the bottom o' Mount Everest while you stand on the peak!" Jason smiles, reaching out and touching the camera, accidentally hitting the photo button and blasting himself with a blinding flash that fills the room for a second.
"Goddamn! Hell of a flash on that thing!"
"The light on it could burn your retinas completely in a matter of minutes." Dr. C shares from her desk in the background, an amused smirk playing at the corner of her lips as she rises from her seat and saunters over. "Come on, boys. Let's get it attached."
The two doctors take the camera and walk off screen. Jason watches them for a minute, before leaning in close to the camera and pointing his finger into the lens with a grin.
"You are gonna be a bad motherfucker."
For the final time, the screen cuts out. When it returns, the lens is obscured by a plastic sheet as Jason Hathaway addresses a crowd of onlookers.
"We get the best of both worlds: The best cinematography in human history, five terabytes of photo and video storage, and a lifetime of premium J-TV content filiming. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to present to you... Robbocop."
The shot finally changes to that of a security camera viewing the scene to reveal Robbie the Camera Guy completely sheathed in a metallic suit of armor, a massive camera shaped helmet covering his face as he rises from his chair to the shouts and applause of the crowd gathered in the room. Slowly he trudges forward, until Hathaway stands in front of him and places his hands on his shoulders.
"Robbie. What are your prime directives?"
Robbie slowly turns his head to survey the crowd, his voice low and monotone as he relays the directives implanted into his mind.
"Directive one: Serve the public's entertainment."
Jason nods.
"Directive two: Uphold my artistic vision."
Jason reaches down and taps his Championship, helping him remeber the last one.
"Directive three: Protect the Television Championship."
Hathaway cracks a massive grin, nodding along. In the corner of the screen, a fourth directive is printed in green text. Directive four: Date Serenity Holmes
They hadn't gotten all of it out of his programming, apparently.
"That's good. I love this fucking guy!" Jason shouts, pulling Robbocop into a tight hug. "I was so worried I'd lost you brother, but now... now we've made you stronger and better than before!"
An alarm sounds behind them, and Jason turns quickly, a steely determination in his eyes as he recognizes the call of a challenger ahead of him. A threat to his championship, a pretender to his throne..
"Just in time, too... Lisen Robbie, somebody is coming after the TV Title. Worse than that, they're on the Gladiator roster. You know what that means?"
Robbie scowls, reaching for the handheld camera holstered on his hip.
"Numpty Scum. We've got work to do."
J-TV nearly tears up with those words. "You're damned right we do. Of course, I coulda squashed this jabroni myself... but I can't do it without the only man on this green earth who can film it the right way. I need my Camera Guy. There's no J-TV without you, Robbie."
Robbie raises his and gives a stiff and robotic thumbs up.
"Primary target identified as Adel Travent. New Objective, film Jason Hathaway turn target into ugly little smear on pavement."
"And what's your secondary objective, Robbie?"
"Then I have a movie to shoot. It's called..."
"J. T. V"
(Likeness of Charlotte Shimizu used with permission. All rights reserved. Filmed in J-TV Studios -- 2024)
The views and opinions expressed therein do not represent those of the Imperial Wrestling Federation or its staff.
TURN DOWN YOUR LIGHTS
(where applicable)
The entire arena is on its feet as J-TV covers Madjinn for the three count. The reign of terror is over, and a new era for the TV Championship can finally begin in the IWF! In the ring, there is pandemonium as Madjinn's rent-a-goons come flooding through the ropes seeking vengeance for their fallen fuckboy. Our hero was made a swift escape with the holy grail, the gleaming and sparkling Television Title draped over his shoulder.
They might have caught him, were it not for the actions of one brave hero.
"Someone's gotta pay, and it's gonna be Robbie!"
The Camerman of Justice serves as an incredible distraction, drawing the ire of The Black Widow, as the hag drags him back into the center of the ring. With his presence, he has truly saved Odyssey from its darkest day. Will the price he pay be worth it? The crowd gasps and falls silent as Robbie is given a vicious shove, sending him tumbling to the mat in a wounded heap. What macabre violence, what a gruesome display...
Robbie's world turns black.
Then, static fills the screen, warping and contorting until finally it vanishes, revealing a white ceiling interwoven with pipes and hanging fluorescent lights, buzzing idly in the quiet room. Footsteps echo off of the walls as a familiar looking woman approaches, wearing a loose fitting nurse cap over her long dark hair. She hums, reaching out to adjust the camera with her hand. A voice calls out behind her, breaking up in a burst of camera fuzz.
Static fills the screen as another doctor sporting a spectacular golden mullet leans in with a pair of pliers, brow furrowed as he twists something just off-camera. "Shit!"
The woman clears her throat and looks down at her clipboard, jotting something down with the pen in her lab coat before looking to an unseen figure to the left and nodding. "Bring in the LED."
An additional screen lowers down over the camera from the ceiling, and it is quickly drilled into place by the mullet-sporting doctor, casting a strange green grid over the entire room. There is another flash of distortion, and now the female doctor peers into the camera with a small smile, Dr. Mullet at her side.
"He's on." She says, as the sound of a door closing behind her makes her turn her head to another man entering out of sight. "Doctor C, What's the story?" Jason Hathaway enters the frame, wearing his finest suit and the freshly polished Television Title around his waist. The woman gestures towards the camera, "We were able to save the Serenity Holmes t-shirt and the antique camera."
Jason raises an eyebrow at her, looking puzzled. "What? I thought we agreed on total merchandise disenfranchisement. Lose the Holmes t-shirt, alright?" Hathaway turns his attention to the screen, moving his hand in close and snapping his fingers a few times. "Can he understand what I'm saying?"
"Don't matter, bruv. We'll be wiping his memories of this later, yeah?" Dr. Mullet replies, squatting down to peer uncomfortably close into the camera lens. "Bruv signed a release in 'is manager contract. We can do what we want wit 'im" Jason nods, turning to Dr. C. "Lose the shirt."
She sighs in resignation as Jason turns around and leaves, grabbing Dr. Mullet by his collar and dragging him back to stand straight. "Shut him down, prep him for surgery."
The screen flashes to black once more, and remains that way for about ten seconds before turning back on. This time, Dr. Mullet is holding up a brand-new, state of the art film camera. "'is new camera will look like this, yeah? Hollywood level, thousands a' dollars. Bruv could shoot you from the bottom o' Mount Everest while you stand on the peak!" Jason smiles, reaching out and touching the camera, accidentally hitting the photo button and blasting himself with a blinding flash that fills the room for a second.
"Goddamn! Hell of a flash on that thing!"
"The light on it could burn your retinas completely in a matter of minutes." Dr. C shares from her desk in the background, an amused smirk playing at the corner of her lips as she rises from her seat and saunters over. "Come on, boys. Let's get it attached."
The two doctors take the camera and walk off screen. Jason watches them for a minute, before leaning in close to the camera and pointing his finger into the lens with a grin.
"You are gonna be a bad motherfucker."
For the final time, the screen cuts out. When it returns, the lens is obscured by a plastic sheet as Jason Hathaway addresses a crowd of onlookers.
"We get the best of both worlds: The best cinematography in human history, five terabytes of photo and video storage, and a lifetime of premium J-TV content filiming. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my great pleasure to present to you... Robbocop."
The shot finally changes to that of a security camera viewing the scene to reveal Robbie the Camera Guy completely sheathed in a metallic suit of armor, a massive camera shaped helmet covering his face as he rises from his chair to the shouts and applause of the crowd gathered in the room. Slowly he trudges forward, until Hathaway stands in front of him and places his hands on his shoulders.
"Robbie. What are your prime directives?"
Robbie slowly turns his head to survey the crowd, his voice low and monotone as he relays the directives implanted into his mind.
"Directive one: Serve the public's entertainment."
Jason nods.
"Directive two: Uphold my artistic vision."
Jason reaches down and taps his Championship, helping him remeber the last one.
"Directive three: Protect the Television Championship."
Hathaway cracks a massive grin, nodding along. In the corner of the screen, a fourth directive is printed in green text. Directive four: Date Serenity Holmes
They hadn't gotten all of it out of his programming, apparently.
"That's good. I love this fucking guy!" Jason shouts, pulling Robbocop into a tight hug. "I was so worried I'd lost you brother, but now... now we've made you stronger and better than before!"
An alarm sounds behind them, and Jason turns quickly, a steely determination in his eyes as he recognizes the call of a challenger ahead of him. A threat to his championship, a pretender to his throne..
"Just in time, too... Lisen Robbie, somebody is coming after the TV Title. Worse than that, they're on the Gladiator roster. You know what that means?"
Robbie scowls, reaching for the handheld camera holstered on his hip.
"Numpty Scum. We've got work to do."
J-TV nearly tears up with those words. "You're damned right we do. Of course, I coulda squashed this jabroni myself... but I can't do it without the only man on this green earth who can film it the right way. I need my Camera Guy. There's no J-TV without you, Robbie."
Robbie raises his and gives a stiff and robotic thumbs up.
"Primary target identified as Adel Travent. New Objective, film Jason Hathaway turn target into ugly little smear on pavement."
"And what's your secondary objective, Robbie?"
"Then I have a movie to shoot. It's called..."
"J. T. V"
(Likeness of Charlotte Shimizu used with permission. All rights reserved. Filmed in J-TV Studios -- 2024)
Well howdy there pardner.