Post by RAM on Aug 12, 2024 4:29:42 GMT
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August 8, 2024 - 8:00 AM
As the morning star rose over Tokyo...
With Fiona McFly handling Tommy Figgins' evaluation at the IWF Performance Center, R.A. Marshall trudged slowly through the high-tech gadgetry and gimmickery of the famous Akihabara district. At first, he felt as if he was in computer heaven once again, admiring all of the various game demos and mascots that appeared on the big screns -- everything from Mario to Zelda to even Donkey Kong. Yet on this day, RAM wasn't going shopping for retro video games; instead, he looked down at a business card for a local area attraction Fiona had recommended to him as part of his drug intervention.
"Auntie Em's" was the name of the business.
And RAM had no idea exactly what it was about, given that the majority of the card and subsequent brochure was written in Japanese.
He sighed before walking towards a non-descript building. He gazed upon a sigh that served as a floor directory before stepping into a waiting elevator. Quarters were cramped due to the prime real estate, making him feel nervous. He stepped off the elevator and turned to the left.
What he saw next made his eyes roll.
{ ...oh, dear god... }
At that moment, RAM found himself in an establishment that seemed to remind him of a Texas farm. Several women came forward, sporting black and pink maid costumes, bowed and waved happily as cutesy J-pop played in the background.
{ ...why, Fiona?! Why'd you decide to torture me with this shit... }
The women cheerfully greeted him.
"Masutā, Auntie Em' s e yōkoso! Nanika otetsudai shimashou ka?"
RAM shook his head, for he didn't know much about the Japanese language. A fourth woman entered the room with a smile, wearing the same maid's outfit as the other three.
"Good morning -- I am Emiko! They are saying...'welcome back, Master! How might we help you!'"
RAM was left flabbergasted. While her accent was very noticeable, he couldn't help but admire her English.
"Welcome to Auntie Em's Cafe and Massage! Please choose a course…"
He cleared his throat and shook his head solemnly, not understanding the kanji written on the brochure. RAM handed it to the English speaker, who giggled, grinned from ear to ear, before translating it.
"We have three different courses. First, the Cheapskate course which is 650 yen. Secondly, we have the Middle-Middle Course, which is 1,050 yen. Finally...we have the Extra Special Path to Happiness and Pleasure Course! 2,500 yen! It will bring you a lot of joy inside!!"
RAM's eyes widened at the three different options she had listed. He took a moment to ponder his selection before pointing at the option he desired. With Tommy and Fiona gone, he was left up to his own devices.
And he had zero clue as to what was about to happen.
{ ...hoo-boy, this is gonna be swell... }
To be continued...
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August 8, 2024 - 8:00 AM
As the morning star rose over Tokyo...
With Fiona McFly handling Tommy Figgins' evaluation at the IWF Performance Center, R.A. Marshall trudged slowly through the high-tech gadgetry and gimmickery of the famous Akihabara district. At first, he felt as if he was in computer heaven once again, admiring all of the various game demos and mascots that appeared on the big screns -- everything from Mario to Zelda to even Donkey Kong. Yet on this day, RAM wasn't going shopping for retro video games; instead, he looked down at a business card for a local area attraction Fiona had recommended to him as part of his drug intervention.
"Auntie Em's" was the name of the business.
And RAM had no idea exactly what it was about, given that the majority of the card and subsequent brochure was written in Japanese.
He sighed before walking towards a non-descript building. He gazed upon a sigh that served as a floor directory before stepping into a waiting elevator. Quarters were cramped due to the prime real estate, making him feel nervous. He stepped off the elevator and turned to the left.
What he saw next made his eyes roll.
{ ...oh, dear god... }
At that moment, RAM found himself in an establishment that seemed to remind him of a Texas farm. Several women came forward, sporting black and pink maid costumes, bowed and waved happily as cutesy J-pop played in the background.
{ ...why, Fiona?! Why'd you decide to torture me with this shit... }
The women cheerfully greeted him.
"Masutā, Auntie Em' s e yōkoso! Nanika otetsudai shimashou ka?"
RAM shook his head, for he didn't know much about the Japanese language. A fourth woman entered the room with a smile, wearing the same maid's outfit as the other three.
"Good morning -- I am Emiko! They are saying...'welcome back, Master! How might we help you!'"
RAM was left flabbergasted. While her accent was very noticeable, he couldn't help but admire her English.
"Welcome to Auntie Em's Cafe and Massage! Please choose a course…"
He cleared his throat and shook his head solemnly, not understanding the kanji written on the brochure. RAM handed it to the English speaker, who giggled, grinned from ear to ear, before translating it.
"We have three different courses. First, the Cheapskate course which is 650 yen. Secondly, we have the Middle-Middle Course, which is 1,050 yen. Finally...we have the Extra Special Path to Happiness and Pleasure Course! 2,500 yen! It will bring you a lot of joy inside!!"
RAM's eyes widened at the three different options she had listed. He took a moment to ponder his selection before pointing at the option he desired. With Tommy and Fiona gone, he was left up to his own devices.
And he had zero clue as to what was about to happen.
{ ...hoo-boy, this is gonna be swell... }
To be continued...
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Well, well.
Last week felt rather...therapeutic.
Did y'all REALLY think Hellscream had a chance, huh?! Seriously...the suits in charge oughta be thinkin' twice about puttin' a face-painted god complex in the same ring as yours truly. Granted, even though he couldn't figure out a hammerlock from a toilet seat, Hellscream sure as she ain't no Dean Harper.
'Cause even he knows that love and wrestlin' just don't mix well together.
Screw it, movin' on...Adel Travant.
Congratulations, bubba...you just managed to bring your Bruno Mars lovin' ass to the party. Think you can bust a move or some shit like that?! First things first, spanky...I can't sing and I sure as shit can't dance. What I love to do, however, is pound dicks in the dirt with my fists and make sure folk like YOU remember who I am.
After all, buildin' and programmin' mainframes ain't gonna give me enough satisfaction in my life.
Listen, Adel...only two things come outta Oklahoma: bulls and bitches. Since I don't see no horns on your dome, boy, that kinda narrows it down. While you're dancin' around to that funk shit, ponder for a moment before I give you a good ol'-fashioned beatdown. 'Cause as the cliche goes, mess with the bull...and you get the horns.
Ain't that therapeutic, huh?!
You're fixin' to be in for a rather educational experience, bubba. 'Cause let's be real...I don't need to dance around a ring to become successful. I don't need to be a nepo-bitch in order to forget a legacy. I'm the REAL article around these parts, Adel -- what you see is what you get.
Think you can break me?!
I welcome the challenge -- it'll cost ya more than a Dr. Pepper.
PROMO WORD COUNT: 287
Well howdy there pardner.