Is It Over Now? (part -final-Devo)

[Dean Harper]

TW: Victim blaming, Discussion of Sexual violence, murder

He had no choice. He had to do this alone. He’d survived alone thus far. A childhood. Before The Pack. After The Pack. Only The Pack had been different. And he’d fucked that up too.

“A moment, Mister Harper.” The older man grabbed the tie from his hands and quickly put it around his neck and tied it for him, “You can do this. He’s going to go to prison for a long time. You just have to survive another few moments.”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded.

Dean followed the man into the courtroom. He hated how public this was. He tried to walk forward without noticing the looks people were giving him. His feet only hesitated briefly when Uriel had turned in his seat and smiled at Dean. But he pushed past that fear.

He’d practiced the swearing-in, the line of questioning the prosecution had drilled into him. He could say what he had to say. Recount the led up, the event, the aftermath all without thinking about it. Almost like it had happened to someone else. Like he existed slightly to the left of it. Like he was watching someone else in an uncomfortable but expensive suit talk about things he didn’t want to. He’d practiced so well that Uriel’s counsel’s objects were overruled.

The Easy part was over. Now hell began.

The lawyer next to Uriel stood up, and adjusted his suit to appear more put together than Dean felt, “Mister Harper…Are you sure that your recollection of the events is accurate, or could you be mistaken?"

“I remember them perfectly,” Dean replied, feeling uncomfortably back in his own body again.

“But is it not true that most victims have memory issues about such violations? The other witnesses have had gaps-but you? But you remember it perfectly? Why is that?”

“Objection, speculation. There is no way for Mister Harper to know why trauma affects different victims in different ways.”

“Sustained.”

Dean swallowed, feeling his heart race, he’d been prepared for this. To be accused of causing this. That it was just some bedroom kink gone a little extreme. To go over and over why he didn’t report it. To try and figure out and guess why Warren believed what Uriel told him. It was worse than Tim had prepared him for.

So much worse.

The world was spinning. He should have just killed Uriel in the ring. If Warren had let him burn down the warehouse none of this would be happening. He could have handled this his way if-

“Mister Harper?” The Judge pressed.

“Sorry, repeat the question?”

With a calm, deliberate tone, the lawyer locks eyes with Dean, his gaze intense but controlled. His posture is upright, shoulders back, exuding confidence without being overbearing. He thought he had the winner question on his side. Something to prove Dean was just as bad as everyone thought he was. The urge to leap from his seat and smash the smug asshole’s head into the floor until his legs twitched was high. But Dean remembered Damien was waiting for him. He had to stay calm.

"Isn't it true that just before the incident, you were aware that your actions or words could be perceived as instigating this reaction from my client?”

“I didn’t ask for it,” Dean said firmly.

There was a sound, like a chair moving, Dean’s eyes stayed on the lawyer in front of him.

“Never?”

“I never asked for it,” Dean said again.

“Any further questions Counselor?” The Judge asked.

“No, your honor.”

“You are dismissed, Mister Harper.” Dean got up from his seat, wanting nothing more than to grab his shit and get back to Damien. Dean moved to leave the courtroom, feeling the need to be sick growing and growing.

“You liked it!” The yell from Uriel made Dean stop moving.

Stuck as if time slowed down, it was hard to breathe. The judge was yelling for order.

“No one will ever love you like I do and you know it! Just admit you love me too!”

*-*

Dean was aware he’d lost time. He was sitting the bench outside the courtroom, head in his hands, trying to encourage feeling back into his body. He was suddenly aware a lot of time had passed when he had something cold held against his forehead.

Dean looked up to see Warren staring down at him like Dean had missed Warren’s prior attempts to get his attention, his newest whore standing slightly off to the side in the hallway pretending to read a book.

“Hey,” Warren said softly. “Sorry, I was late. Looks like I got here just in time though.”

“Did you?” Dean asked.

“Uriel was yelling at you. You were frozen. I got you out and got you sitting.” Warren pressed the cold bottle against Dean’s head again. “Sugar usually helps when you clock out that hard. How are you feeling?”

Dean caught the whore glaring at him but he ignored it, Warren didn’t see it.

“Terrible. You?” Dean asked as he took the juice and uncapped it. “Wasn’t expecting you to show up.”

“Yeah, figured,” Warren said. ”I’m glad I could still help, proves I still know how to reach you on some level and pull you back from the abyss.”

“You didn’t need to come. I know you don’t want to see me.”

“Maybe not, but I still need to see that cunt locked up,” Warren said. “Especially as we spent years thinking we’d never see justice like this ever be done. I’m proud of you regardless of our personal issues, you did a very brave thing today. We both need this closure to move forward with our lives, Dean.”

Mimi flipped a page in her book a little aggressively.

Dean nodded drinking the juice slowly, “Thanks. It doesn’t feel brave. It feels like throwing myself into the pit. How that fucker got such a cutthroat lawyer is beyond me.”

“Scum represents scum pretty easily Dean,” Warren said. “I know you aren’t as big a fan of SVU as I am, but I figure you’d have at least picked that up from the couple of episodes we watched together. I can’t imagine what any of this has been like for you, but if it is like being in a pit, then I hope it’s the last time for both of us.”

Dean laughed, “Right. That was the cop show where they always get the bastard.” Dean shifted slightly. “They made me talk about our sex lives. Sorry about that.”

“Honestly, for me, it wasn’t any worse than the stuff I threw at you in promos at work, so I guess in a weird way I prepared us both for this unintentionally, I suppose.”

“Guess so.” Dean could see the girl was giving him the side eye hard. “Heard your wadding back into the dating pool has been successful. Congrats. Told you man whoring is easy.” It was light teasing with a smile, not trying to start a fight.

“Some would say it was in my genes with the number of failed marriages and hook ups Spike had over a twenty-year career, including a failed polyamorous relationship with two girls young enough to be my sisters even,” Warren sighed. Of all the ways Warren envied his biological father, his numerous romantic failures weren’t something Warren ever wanted to emulate. “But nah, you’re still the expert on whoring between the two of us. Mimi and I are just seeing how this goes for now, exclusively.”

“Good for you. Seriously. I know I was shit at giving you what you needed.”

“In fairness, I’m not entirely sure I know what I need either, so it wasn’t all your fault.”

Just not you, a voice hummed in his head.

“I was going to ask you to watch Damien during the show but seems a conflict of interest considering who I’m fighting.”

“Ordinarily, I’d love to watch the kiddo, but yeah. I don’t think leaving him with me would be a very wise move especially if you plan on seriously hurting Viv out there. I love Damien, and I don’t want him to be easy collateral damage like I was after you attacked Viv, especially if you really fuck her up.” Warren searched Dean’s eyes for a moment for any hint of if that was exactly what he was planning to do in that cage in a few days. “You wouldn’t do that, would you? Please, I couldn’t bear it. If you still care for me at all, please don’t go beyond the pale in this match with her.” Warren was practically pleading for Vivienne’s safety, begging and not in the usual way Dean had enjoyed for years in the bedroom.

The son of a bitch did love Starlight, Dean thought, Much more than he ever loved him, at least.

Was Warren meaning to imply he wouldn’t protect Damien if it came to that? But it fits with who Dean was slowly coming to realize was the person Warren had been all along. “Assuming you didn’t ask the same thing of her.”

“We haven’t spoken so, no. I haven’t asked her anything.”

“Fair.” Dean sighed, leaning back against the cool tile. “I hate waiting.”

“Do you want me to wait with you?”

“I wouldn’t mind it…but I get the feeling your plus one might.”

Warren looked over at Mimi to see what Dean was talking about for himself. When he looked over Mimi was reading her book looking innocent and like she hadn’t been eavesdropping.

“She seems to be engrossed in her romance novel,” Warren shrugged. “She wanted to come so I wouldn’t be bored on the flight over, it’s kind of sweet. I owe her big time after all this is over. Not many people would be cool with all this like she has been.”

It wasn’t Dean’s place and Warren wouldn’t take it well anyway so he didn’t comment on the looks he’d been getting from her the whole time, “Sure. I just assumed.”

“You need to work on your paranoia and learn to trust more. We both do, actually.”

“Maybe I do.” Dean shrugged. “It’s kept me alive.”

“But unhappy, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for my part in that.”

“Sure. But maybe I’m just not meant to be.” Dean shrugged.

The door to the courtroom opened and the older man who worked with the prosecution peeked out, “They are about to deliver the verdict. Do you want to be in the courtroom?”

Warren looked at Dean, it was his call if he wanted him in the courtroom with him.

“Yeah.” Dean stood up, having this handled legally had been Warren’s idea after all. The two walked into the courtroom. Dean stayed towards the back as everyone seemed to be preparing for the end to come. Mimi stayed outside, and Warren stayed separate, near but not as close to Dean as he used to be.

As the foreman of the jury stepped forward Dean wished he could still hold someone’s hand. Particularly as the judge went through each of Black’s numerous counts. Dean’s heart stopped as each was recounted, only beating on each guilty verdict that came back. It was unanimously ruled that Uriel was guilty on each and every count and that he would serve life in prison, with each indictment carrying a separate penalty to be served consecutively.

“Guilty on all counts,” Dean’s lawyer, Tim confirmed, as if Dean needed it.

It felt like a weight was lifted from Dean’s shoulders. Dean hugged his legal counsel with tears in his eyes and Warren let out a triumphant whoop as he punched the air excitedly. Black was livid as caught in the moment, Warren and Dean embraced tears in both their eyes.

“Thanks…for being here.” Dean stepped out of the embrace first, cleared his throat, embarrassed at the emotional reaction and impulse. “Sorry, old habits die hard and everything.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Warren held Dean’s hand briefly, “You’re allowed to let your walls down sometimes, you know?” Warren let go gently, with one last thumb across the back of Dean’s hand. The last time he would ever touch Dean affectionately like that. This really was the end of a long and painful chapter in Dean’s personal life.